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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.      Home login  
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 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 1
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I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.Page 1 of 1    
When I DO reply and say that I would't be comaptible, I get a wide variety of responses. The I'm spiritual, is farily common and it's just about being honest about my faith and lifestyle (if that's the best word?). I love going to church, not just to warm the pew or be seen, I love being involved and contributing and I don't feel things are right in my life if I'm not.

I'm not using faith or religious belief as a reason to disqualify someone and have been more open and dated a range of other faiths. It does come down to this is something that is so integral to who I am, it just doesn't make sense to interact with someone who doesn't my basic core beliefs and lifestyle.
 msemeraldeyes73
Joined: 9/11/2012
Msg: 2
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 5:45:56 PM
I'm right there with you.... Want a relationship with me... You gotta have a relationship with HIM
 Robert122077
Joined: 10/3/2012
Msg: 3
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 5:49:20 PM
No offense, but I firmly believe that an intellectually honest, thinking person, can't be religious. The world is slowly becoming more secular (thankfully) so rejecting someone for not believing in superstitious nonsense is counter-intuitive and short sighted.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 4
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I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 5:53:35 PM
Thanks, darlin, I do get it, it just seems that if I say there's a religious incompatability, I've never gottan more replies back or argumentative/confrontational. One email was, well I believe in God....I didn't reply back, it's just beyond my level of interest to try to explain why he woudn't be compatible. When I DO respond, I use the "like faith" is that so hard to understand. Ehh...I just need to delete and leave it at that. I'm not looking for conversation, it's a no go. I've used the term "devout" apprently that is also confusing or they're possibly trying to argue me into me being interested? It's just a guess.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 5
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I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 5:53:36 PM
For you OP, you are looking for a church goer, one heavily involved in church.. apparently YOUR church. Seems that would be the best place to meet someone you feel is compatible.

what is your question exactly? how to turn down POF'ers?
ones who do not go to church the way you like ?
Your not being very clear at all. You also seem to think going to a lot of church activity makes one "devout".
maybe all your looking for is someone who goes to a lot of church activity.

I know many people like that... they are not really people I would choose as best friends.
agrees with msg 6... what is the problem?
you go to church... you cannot date someone unless they are heavily involved in church and its activity?
Going to church does not make one a christian... church is full of sinners, not saints.

Write in your profile your a BIG CHURCH GOER and interested in someone who is too, the whole of it, the socializing and all the extras. Also state your faith.



 Robert122077
Joined: 10/3/2012
Msg: 6
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 5:56:56 PM
I fail to see what religious people fear when it comes to non-religious people. As long as they're non-judgmental, and you're not overtly preachy, I see no reason that it couldn't work.
 LGG62
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 7
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 6:01:33 PM

I fail to see what religious people fear when it comes to non-religious people. As long as they're non-judgmental, and you're not overtly preachy, I see no reason that it couldn't work.

It isn't so much that one may try to convince the other to change, it's that religion is important to someone, and they want someone that religion is important to as well. Some faiths believe that marriage is forever, and continues after death. If one spouse believes that, and the other doesn't, the religious person is concerned about their spouse after death. Imagine kids instead of religion. If one spouse wants kids, the other can't exactly say, "Well, you do your thing with the kids, but I don't want to see them, hear them or have anything to do with them." Same with religion. They want someone who is on the same page as them.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 8
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I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 6:20:56 PM
"I just scanned your profile and didn't see anything about being active in your church and looking for a man who is likewise. "

I also haven't put in my profile any info about how many children I have, their ages and sexes. It's the same, I checked off the radio button that I have children and they're all over the age of 18. Same for religion.

"They want someone who is on the same page as them." Exactly it IS there, christian. So non-religious, begs the question, they didn't really look at the profile or skipped over that because it wasn't something that was important enough to them to notice.

I LOOK at that, and respond with a honest reply, that's why we woudn't be compatible. Read the forums, that's wht most everyone says thay want and put labels on those who don't. That's WHY people don't. It's not a debate of philosophies, it's just a total lack of interest, and I'm being HONEST about that which is what many allegedly want or are looking for...blah blah. My experience has been, those that appreciate my being honest and upfront and appreciate that, some have been long time friends, some just thank me and don't desire a friendship only which I'm fine with. The others..pfft...you can't ARGUE someone into liking you, accepting you the provebial...UGH..."give me a chance." A chance at what, I AM NOT INTERESTED. It's not a matter of pulling some mystical rabbit out of a hat. If someone's honest about not being interested in me, I'm thankful for them telling me so and wish them the best.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 9
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 6:30:03 PM
I just looked at your profile of sarcastic nonsense passed off as "humor."
There is not one iota of info, or anything else you make mention of, that would lead someone to *know* you are a devoutly religious person. Nothing. So why complain when people contact you and you surprise them with this?
Disingenuous on your part.

^^^ Op cripes. Send me a message. I'll tell you if you're "wrong."^^^
No, I won't give you any hints beforehand. .... sheesh...yes...."insanity in a bottle."
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 10
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I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 6:41:17 PM
is there a question here somewhere? or just another 'how can guys not know i wouldn't be interested!' rant?
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 11
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 6:43:47 PM
You should see her other rants at people today. Nothing "Christian" about this hypocrite.
Funny, she asked others if they were seeking attention in their threads.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 12
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I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 6:44:33 PM
"I just looked at your profile of sarcastic nonsense passed off as "humor."
There is not one iota of info, or anything else you make mention of, that would lead someone to *know* you are a devoutly religious person. Nothing. So why complain when people contact you and you surprise them with this?
Disingenuous on your part."

I haven't kept track but the first month I got about 1500 emails. Disingenious, I write profesionally. MOST of those emails are "that's so funny" or something like that.

If you do look at my profie, it does list christian - other as my religious affiliation. The profile I've written, I haven't had ONE email that was confused because there was something IN the written text "about me" that they were confused about. Noone has ever said that.

Insanity in a Spray Bottle, still love it, almost feel off my chair when I thought it up. It IS me, I haven't kept track of how many men I've had interactions with, but noone has been surprised when they meet me, or I call them. It's all done purposefully. The emails I get are NOT sent with any purposeful intent, for the most part.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 13
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I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 6:54:42 PM

The emails I get are NOT sent with any purposeful intent, for the most part.


I think from this statement, you take yourself way to seriously.

Most people make contact without any purposeful intent except to say hello and get more info, so they can determine if they want to meet.
They will ask for CURRENT pics, etc...
( yours are old, since back when the forums started)

Profiles like yours .. I would ignore... because they are a lot of writing and say nothing. They say nothing.
Say who your looking for ON THE PROFILE.. or stop complaining.



They probably think you're fun, contact you, and then you spring this on them

this is exactly what I was thinking too
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 14
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 6:58:09 PM
I did read your profile. It made no mention (aside from the default "drop box" descriptor) that you have anything to do with religion. Expecting men to "know" this about you, without any indication of it (aside from the drop box) IS completely insane on your part. People are not mind readers. They probably think you're fun, contact you, and then you spring this on them. Shame on them if they protest and insist on continuing. But, this is tantamount to me liking to eat nothing but PB & J sandwhiches, only dating like minded individuals, and making NO mention of it anywhere in my profile. Image the surprise when I tell you how IMPORTANT this is to me that I can't make mention of it ANYWHERE in my profile to give you a heads up.

What is in question here? Ridiculous.
I don't know who pays ya to write, but I hope its much better than the sarcastic quipping in your profile. Sarcasm is the laziest humor there is. Obviously you don't write comedy. I suspect technical writer for feminine hygiene products.
(I had to GUESS. I wasn't in your profile.) ;o)

^^^Exactly. It says NOTHING. ^^^
 centexguy
Joined: 9/3/2012
Msg: 15
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 7:18:41 PM
I really don't understand why it would be so difficult to cut some of the humor(?) out of your profile and and least write a little bit more about what you ARE looking for, or about yourself. Something has simple has "I have a very strong faith and I'm very active in my church and want a man who is likewise. " That could be followed up with "I just don't think I would compatible with someone who isn't." I dunno, maybe that would stop you from getting emails from men who are non-religious? I know when I see christian, catholic, or whatever on a profile I assume they believe in God, etc. I have never once thought when I read that, it meant they went to church once or more a week, were active in their church groups, or anything along those lines, or they were looking for a man like that. I just take it that they were raised with that belief. The women around here who are like yourself with their faith have no problem mentioning that in their profile and if they are looking for a man likewise.
 uarealoser
Joined: 9/5/2012
Msg: 16
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 7:53:42 PM
I'm not really sure what is your question.
Is this basically another "Why do guys I'm not interested in contact me" thread?
Another version of "why do guys old enough to be my father/young enough to be my son contact me?"
Or "why do single moms contact me when I have 'does not want children' on my profile?"
Or even more simply "why don't guys read my profile before contacting me?"
 msemeraldeyes73
Joined: 9/11/2012
Msg: 17
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 8:27:19 PM
Not to defend Bucs but I have this listed in my profile
"I am very active in church. God is a primary focus in my life. You are Christian. "

And I still get a lot of messages from men who are listed as Non-religious.... when I say something about religion the typical response i get is "i'm fine with you being religious" to which I reply "but I'm not ok with you not being"

then I am hissed at or called names.... READ the profile and have the integrity to not waste each other's time.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 18
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 8:47:05 PM
I reply "but I'm not ok with you not being"
then I am hissed at or called names.... READ the profile and have the integrity to not waste each other's time.


Seems better to be direct online like that, and get the hissing or name-calling out in the open soonest..
Despite ruling out about 85% of the available demographic single men with one stroke of the pen...

Naturally in the almost anonymous internet world of "dating" sites, some of those men who didn't pretend to be devout to catch and hold an attractive womans limited attention,
and were rejected for being honest instead, will be upset and others will just learn to be as deceptive in their search for a mate as about half of those few "devout"-seeming men in the churches actually are...

Next Sunday look around the church at your service and note the majority of blue-haired single old ladies who likely failed to compromise with a nice older gentleman about his lack of "devout" faith or differing politics.. And think about just how many years it may be before their numbers grow by two...

Another strong example of just why Finding and Maintaining a compatible long-term SO relationship IS,
the second greatest challenge in life for ALL,
success there requires SHARING about 50% power/control/compromise on issues with another imperfect human being like yourself... S


so when it comes to people's belief systems, there really is no right or wrong, because nobody really knows for sure.

That sounds like agnosticism, no one knows for sure so hedging bets seems best...
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 19
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 9:00:27 PM
I have the opposite problem, I seem to possess a freakish knack for attracting the religious nutters. And I've had MORE than my fill of listening to spiritual arrogance, exclusivity of truth and other sad and pathetic euphemisms. Too bad we live so far apart, or I'd send them all your way, lol.. jk
 BlaineV
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 20
I've gotten many emails from men who are non-religious.
Posted: 10/12/2012 9:07:35 PM
I'm catholic, but I don't consider myself too religious. I go to church every Sunday, but I don't read the bible or say the rosary or anything like that. I also don't have a problem with religious people, or non-religious people for that matter, so long as they keep their views to themselves.

What I can't stand though are self-righteous people, and more often than not, I find that non-religious people are a lot more self-righteous. This is just an observation based on people that I hang around with and even by reading some of these posts.

These are people who like to stereotype religious people as being 'preachy,' or assume that because someone is religious, they can't be intelligent. All I know is that we all must be here for a reason, so when it comes to people's belief systems, there really is no right or wrong, because nobody really knows for sure.
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