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 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 1
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Mr. Right NowPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
If you were seeing someone who you did not see as "the one" (whatever that means, hate that term) would you ask him if he was alright with being Mr. Right Now, until you got to know them better?

Men, if some woman was honest enough to tell you she felt you were Mr. Right Now material, would you split, or hang around to see if something good came of it?
 HaydenFan
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 2
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 5:00:08 PM
I'd hang out honestly but, that's kinda what I'm looking for
 amohsin8
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 3
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 5:05:13 PM
Sounds like an ideal situation to me.
 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 4
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Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 5:17:02 PM
Well, if the man you want to bang thinks you're "the one" then he should be clued in that he's ahead of me in the game.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 5
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 5:21:19 PM
Im o.k with being Mr. right now, but sure hope she understands that she would be Ms. right now as well. Same as if she finds someone better I might find someone better as well. The way I see it not always like that. They might think of you as Mr. right now but expect them selves to be Ms. right. If you dicided that you found someone better then you are a player and every other bad term women give a guy.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 6
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Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 5:35:34 PM
I had a Mr. Right now (couldn't see living together), now he's just my friend.
Some of the reasons:
It turns off potential Mr. Long term for me as well as Mrs. Right for him.

You can't help "wishing" things could be different and that just puts pressure on the one to change when really they are fine as they are...just not suited to you.

Wishing instead of living is just silly.

Making plans is a biatch.

Happily hung on for over a year.
 tbs1984
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 7
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Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 5:38:07 PM
Mr. Right is a joke, the truth is we are all Mr.Right now, my only stipulation is don't emotionally give away something you would not want taken away from yourself.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 8
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Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 5:42:37 PM
Why do you have to say anything? In some aspect, everyone you're seeing is Mr. Right Now, whether it's one guy or five. It's an art of discretion not to say everything that flashes across your mind, like I'd like to meet your friends because I'm hoping one of them's better looking....really, you're going to have fries and a bascon cheeseburger again......really?
 Red_5
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 9
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 5:46:34 PM
I've had way too many one night stands that should've ended with "hi" and not progressed any further.

If I can't see calling the girl a "friend" or "bud" or getting excited about getting to know her, I'll stop at "hi".

If I'm Mr. Right Now no matter how hot she is, I will be Mr. Have A Nice Life.
 CentralValleyGuy
Joined: 9/19/2012
Msg: 10
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 7:09:40 PM
What would you want is the shoe was on the other foot?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 11
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 7:29:14 PM
The main problem with being with being Mr. Right Now is if the "relationship" doesn't work out and the two part ways, many women will start whining: "Player. He's a player. I was tricked into liking him".
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 12
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Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 7:52:25 PM
The whole "Mr. Right Now" thing implies you've already decided there's no future together, so what's the point in hanging around to get to know someone better?
 trvlngman
Joined: 8/22/2012
Msg: 13
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/17/2012 7:55:02 PM
Back in the day. Mr right now was A ok by me.
at this point in my life. Honestly my feelings would be hurt and i wouldnt want to bother
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 14
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 4:51:49 AM

Why do you have to say anything? In some aspect, everyone you're seeing is Mr. Right Now, whether it's one guy or five. It's an art of discretion not to say everything that flashes across your mind, like I'd like to meet your friends because I'm hoping one of them's better looking....really, you're going to have fries and a bascon cheeseburger again......really?

This.

Everyone is in a holding pattern with us, friends included until we decide we don't want to continue, really. Unless someone declares we're the one and demands that we let them know where they stand, and we aren't on the same page at that time - why even mention it?
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 15
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 4:55:50 AM
i'd love a FWB right now!!
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 16
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 5:18:48 AM
If you were seeing someone who you did not see as "the one" (whatever that means, hate that term) would you ask him if he was alright with being Mr. Right Now, until you got to know them better?

I think the tricky part here might be in managing the expectations. You seem to have a sense already that there’s not much future in the relationship, or at least he’s not ‘the one’ (and yeah, I find the term a little ungainly too).
But if he’s not the one, he’s still something, right? He’s still somewhat sexually attractive, you have some good feelings for him, enough that he’s a candidate under consideration.

If a woman told me I was Mr. Right Now material and I possibly felt similarly, I would seek further clarification and understanding. Do we have good physical/sexual chemistry? Are we coming to like and trust one another?
Are we both at a place in life where an intimate relationship of unknown, unknowable but possibly/likely short-term duration could be a wise and healthy choice for us? Possibly even be a loving and affectionate relationship while circumstances permit?

If I felt that similar way about her, felt those potentials were present, I’d stick around and have that conversation. And sometimes it might take the better part of an evening to reach a clear understanding. Sometimes it might take two sentences. Yip-yip.
 1964armymom
Joined: 7/18/2012
Msg: 17
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Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 5:39:40 AM
If you mean someone that has potential, you're just not sure yet - then yes I'd continue seeing him, but I would see it as taking time to get to know him. I wouldn't use that term though.
But if you mean Mr right now is someone you know has no real future with you.... I'm the type that rips a bandaid off quickly. I would end it quickly. But that's me.
In that situation it would be best to talk it over with him and be honest about it.
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 18
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 5:50:31 AM
I agree with scottey63 -- what's the point of hanging out while someone tries to decide if they like you? Unless you're happy with mediocre. It also sounds like you're the back-up plan or the back-burner guy/girl. But in reading posts by most of the men, they don't have a problem with it -- probably because it just implies FWB to them.
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 19
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 5:59:04 AM
I'm pretty sure they call this a FWB, and the answer for me is no. If we were compatible I'd accept a platonic friendship though.
 Lp78
Joined: 8/11/2012
Msg: 20
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 6:36:12 AM
Great questions!

I believe a person can do what ever they want as long as they are willing to face the consequences of ever they decide to do with open mindedness. The is the only read way I know of to the answers that fit you or anyone for that matter is trial and error because all people can live with different things. "The only way to find you limits is to cross them," Carl Jung. It's a midwestern trap to be too nice and not do things that could end up being a "mistake." Heck that only means theres more to learn, LOL!
 YourBrandNewGuy
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 21
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 6:52:14 AM
It would depend on my feelings towards her. Hanging in there hoping she gets to like me is pathetic. If I feel it's OK then I would be glad she said it instead of leading me on just for sex. You can ask anything as long as you are honest so I would prefer your approach, and probably say sure lets do it!
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 22
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 6:53:02 AM



Men, if some woman was honest enough to tell you she felt you were Mr. Right Now material, would you split, or hang around to see if something good came of it?


Move on.... why would I waste my time and money on someone who's just using me as a crutch until something better came along?
This is typical nonsense that most women try and pull.. keep a guy around as filler until the next one comes along.
 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 23
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Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 7:35:55 AM

I think the tricky part here might be in managing the expectations. You seem to have a sense already that there’s not much future in the relationship, or at least he’s not ‘the one’ (and yeah, I find the term a little ungainly too).
But if he’s not the one, he’s still something, right? He’s still somewhat sexually attractive, you have some good feelings for him, enough that he’s a candidate under consideration.

If a woman told me I was Mr. Right Now material and I possibly felt similarly, I would seek further clarification and understanding. Do we have good physical/sexual chemistry? Are we coming to like and trust one another?
Are we both at a place in life where an intimate relationship of unknown, unknowable but possibly/likely short-term duration could be a wise and healthy choice for us? Possibly even be a loving and affectionate relationship while circumstances permit?

If I felt that similar way about her, felt those potentials were present, I’d stick around and have that conversation. And sometimes it might take the better part of an evening to reach a clear understanding. Sometimes it might take two sentences. Yip-yip.


This is kind of where it's at. Except some exceptions. Not much future in it, more because of his much higher refinement, education, carriage. Long term, I don't think a Pygmalian experiment would pan out for him like he may think it would. Somewhat sexually attractive my ass... He is SMOKIN' HOT!!! I do need some time to trust him, get to know him. Distance is an issue, but not a killer. He lives closer than where I work, but in a different direction. Not much time left over to expend in his direction... and for those nosey people, no, I did not bang him yet. I work a lot, long commute, little left over at the end of a day, or even a week. If I was a leech or a gold digger, it would be a lot easier, but I remain very independent... have been since I was in diapers. That will not likely change, ever. Hmmm... well all, thanks for your input. Some very helpful posts on here. Even those that said no way. It helps me to keep my fingers very soft when handling matters of the heart. He will benefit directly from your posts.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 24
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 9:32:12 PM
Not much future in it, more because of his much higher refinement, education, carriage. Long term, I don't think a Pygmalian experiment would pan out for him like he may think it would.

I was wondering what the obstacles were. Differences in taste, lifestyle, path in life – dissimilarities that may add to the richness in the short term, though not strengthen the odds of it going long, as you’ve indicated.

Same with obstacles of time, energy and distance. They may not detract from the quality of feeling for each other, but in the long-term – sheesh. I think you're doing well to get the best from this without setting unrealistic goals.
 untilever
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 25
Mr. Right Now
Posted: 10/18/2012 11:15:05 PM
Great thread. You seem like a woman who has her head screwed on properly.
I think it is always a good thing to let people know where they stand with you. Seems honest to me.
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