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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > How young is too young for a 69 year old man      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 TheSeeker0
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 1
How young is too young for a 69 year old manPage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I have a question, and am very serious about it, I neither look ( although lately I'm looking more my age) nor act my age and am wondering what age ladies should I be showing interest in???

I know I should not be dating someone as young as my daughter, but where should I draw the line???
LOL I could not even imagine introducing Dawn who is 37 to a young woman her age or younger and saying "Hi honey, this is gonna be your new step Mom"...
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 2
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How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 10:51:33 AM
" but where should I draw the line???"

I don't think you will have to worry about where to draw the line.

Those you want to date will clearly decide whether or not they want to date someone as old as you.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 3
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 10:55:00 AM
I don't wish to be rude, but what the heck is it about people who claim to look younger than their age which makes them think younger people will magically forget the age gap ? Looking younger (or older) is highly subjective and is not a qualifier for dating a different age group. I've had people who have been willing to swear on the life of their kids that they look younger than they are but the reality is, that's true only in candle-light if being viewed by someone who forgot their glasses ! Stop trying to tell people how they should see your features and let them decide for themselves based on you not the number of grey hairs you may or may not have. Grey hair is not a disqualifier (I actually think men turning grey can look damn hot). What is unattractive is the sense of entitlement you seem to have to date younger because YOU think you don't look your age. Your looks are not a priority when someone younger is assessing if they would date you - Your health would be the bigger deciding factor which is something you haven't mentioned at all. Like it or not, a human approaching 70 years old likely to be beginning at least to show signs of that in their health.
The only qualifier when it comes to dating someone younger than you, is if that woman has enough in common with your personality for her to overlook the age gap. That's it.
And forget looking for Dawn's new step mom ! Holy heck. You haven't even found someone willing to join you for a coffee yet. You are running before you are walking.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 4
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 10:57:50 AM
Are you looking at where you want to draw the line at dating, or draw the line for a long term relationship like marraige?

Big difference.

I guess you are looking at getting maried. I would think more than 25 years won't work, and you would be more likely looking at 10-15 years younger at the most.

But like import said, why don't you just date, enjoy a woman's company and worry about ages / what you should do about it when you are actually in a relationship.

Or maybe have a few meet and greets first before fantasizing about the future. It's easy to fantasizing, difficult to actually take accomplish your fantasy.



 TheSeeker0
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 5
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 11:11:11 AM
This is just a general question here, not a "Wanting a young beauty to have on my arm" type of thing for heavens sake... My question was meant to ask about my interacting with ladies here and at what age I should not consider contacting... There is no desire for an "entitlement", nor sense of one.... And my health is does not even enter into this equation at all. no I can't run as fast as I once could, nor jump as high, but My doctor who in an intern says I'm healthier than he is...

I don't want to argue with you but your attitude torqued me off

"And forget looking for Dawn's new step mom ! Holy heck. You haven't even found someone willing to join you for a coffee yet. You are running before you are walking."

The comment about Dawn was meant as a joke, not as fact... You have no idea whether I've met someone on here, or in my real life, to even assume that .
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 6
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 11:23:46 AM

Considering you have been here 5 days - one would presume that someone with your life experiences would be well aware that even if you had 'met' someone on day one, you would not be able to determine if they were marriage material in such a short time frame. Most women will not even have met someone they began communicating with 5 days ago although some might have that meeting arranged. Likewise had you met someone in real life in that time frame the same would apply. If you met someone in real life, 6 days ago and still put up a profile, then that is very telling - so yes, it's safe to assume that if you are a decent, moral human being with at least a grain of common sense, that you have not met someone yet.

Now - if this was a general question, there would have been no need to justify yourself with the statement of being 69, not looking you age, only having a few gray hairs, blah, blah, blah. And again few people reach your age without gaining a basic understanding that people will answer the question you ask.

If you are now claiming it's a general question, go back to your opening post and re-read it and then you will understand why you have received the replies you have.

So, taking your revised question vs the original one :-
what age I should not consider contacting
Most people want to date close to their own age - say within 5 years older or younger. The reason being you will each be at the same stage of life, will have shared some life experiences and will have common ones to still discover. That said, some people are willing to date those who are much older or much younger than themselves.
At the bottom of each profile, you will see some Mail Restrictions. These are parameters which the profile owner has determined are important enough for them to select. Many people have an age range. If you are outside of their age range, they system will stop you contacting them.
For those who do not have an age range or whose stated preference includes you, then feel free to contact them but understand that what you consider a reasonable age gap, they might not. So don't always expect to get an answer.
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 7
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 11:26:19 AM
I can only look at this from my perspective. I'm close to 50 and I only dated men who were close to 50 for many reasons. The guy I'm dating is 47- in my peer group and at the same point in his life, career, family, etc.
I wouldn't consider dating older than 50- and health does come into play. Just based on the mere fact that you are 69 means that you will be aging sooner than someone who is 50 in physical years. I saw a big change in my folks when they were just over 72 years age- each of them. They are in good general health but they are aging- just a simple fact of life.

I personally couldn't date someone much younger for the long term ( so why do it for the short term is my philosophy) knowing that when I'm dead- which will likely be before they are- that I will leave them behind with a potential 10-20 years without a mate if they want to find one and can't- due to their age, etc. I feel that it's fair for them to find someone in their peer group as well.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 8
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 11:32:14 AM

but My doctor who in an intern says I'm healthier than he is...


Who knows what that means, maybe you doc is a young, overweight diabetic with a heart condition. :) Maybe he just being kind.

MSG who you want to MSG, woman are more than capable of either ignoring you or telling you to buzz off.

As far as looking young for your age, I have no idea, everyone over the age of 40 looks old to me, including myself. It's kind of like, old and older, what do I chose if I have to guess age?

If you met someone on here, and have a question about her, better to be direct about it.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 9
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 11:34:01 AM
@ notdating-forumsonly ^^^Sadly, I agree.
My mother is now 72, my father is 69. They were here for September - the last time I saw them was three years ago. Although they are both still in good health, I too noticed the difference. Mum walks a bit slower and more stiffly especially in the morning before she's warmed up her muscles. Dad's elbow is swollen with arthritis which he absent-mindedly rubs when it bothers him. Also, as someone who has been a life-long walker, I noticed him struggle on anything but level ground.
This will indeed be a consideration of someone in their late 50's or younger when deciding if to date someone close to 70. Although of course most of us would willingly care for our partner as we age, the role of carer is normally developed over time vs something someone takes on from the get go - that may indeed sound selfish but it's also reality.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 10
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How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 11:42:34 AM
This doesn't read to me as a logical question.

For anyone, the logical thing to do is, to try to go for someone who you are attracted to. If you decide not to go after someone you are attracted to, because other people are of the opinion that that you "shouldn't" be with someone that young or that old, then it would indicate to me, that you haven't matured enough to make your own decisions, or that you live somewhere that lacks freedom of choice, and uses authoritarian people to enforce that. If the latter is the case, then asking THEM who you should go after would be rational.

If pleasing Dawn is your goal, then logically asking her, and her alone, would be the logical thing to do.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 11
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 11:43:10 AM
Well OP you look older than me in your pics - and most people think I look my age and most of the women who have an interest in me are close to my age ( plus or minus 8 yrs ) so I would say you should be looking at women who are at least older than me.

Tell me - if you were to get an honest answer how old do the women you date think you look?



My doctor who in an intern says I'm healthier than he is


If I have something that requires complicated maintainence and I want to take care of it I do not trust it to someone who is just starting to learn thier craft.

You do realize that some people say certain things just to make you feel good even if they are playing into your vanity.

For the record OP I have met women from here in thier early 60's that looked younger in thier profile pics ( and not so much IRL ) than you look in yours so there are women in your age group who also look young for thier age.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 12
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 11:46:13 AM
I usually go with +/- 9 years as a good rule of thumb. Keeps you with someone who at least has an inkling about your generation and you are more likely to have a good maximum number of years together and less likely to leave a young widow.

You look like a man in his 60's so dating a woman in her 60's would look the most natural and would probably be the most acceptable to your daughter should you remarry. Find one that also feels and looks a few years younger than she is and enjoy.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 13
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 11:59:12 AM
My father had quadruple bypass surgery when he was ~70, and he had COPD, emphysema and macular degeneration, he died at age 83. But he was a 2 pack a day smoker, so that IMO was the main cause of most of his health problems. And while his job involved a lot of manual labor, he never exercised outside of that.

My mother started to really slow up at age 80, meaning she used to bike 20-25 miles, now at age 85 she bikes 10-12 miles. She still gets to the gym 3-4 days a week, but it seems like her memory isn't what it used to be. She did have a stent put in for PAD 4 years ago, and she used to be a smoker but gave it up in her 40s.

I think everyone really starts to slow up at age 80-90 no matter what their health has been.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 14
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How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 12:34:08 PM
if you were wondering, Seeker, on what ages to limit contact from ... why limit at all? you put, as I
recall 50 to 72 or some such ... suppose some attractive woman who's only 48 wants to meet you ...
but she can't contact you ... or 73 or whatever ... you don't HAVE to limit who can contact you,
thereby leaving yourself open to receiving contacts from anyone ... even men who might have
something to say privately with regard to your posts ...

I realize you're a "newbie" ... MOST newbies think they look, sound, act, etc. YOUNGER than they
are ... that's sort of a "given" ... once you've been here longer, you'll see we're a community who talk
to each other across age, sex, locations, etc. ... the Forum folks, I mean ...

I've dated as much younger or older than me by 20 years and, in my humble experience, I did not
have a lot in common with those men ... the men 20 years younger were cute, exciting, fun and hot ...
but had 3 year olds at home ... I dated a man 10 years younger than I was and he had an infant son
at home ... the men 20 years older referenced makes of cars, jazz bands, movie stars, etc. that I'd
never heard of ... personally, I try to stick to a difference of maybe 8 years or so ...

maybe you could just be open to the experience ... and let whomever comes into your life be greeted!
 Stubidoo
Joined: 9/16/2012
Msg: 15
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 12:36:45 PM

but where should I draw the line???

I am assuming you aren't in line to be someone's sugar daddy... so

I don't think it is age so much as "stage in life". You may find a 50 year old woman who is retired, financially secure, all the kids are grown and gone and very much in the same place you are. Then again, you may find a woman close to 60 still working, kids at home, debt, etc.

Isn't it more important to find the right "fit" rather than the right "age"

Just saying...
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 16
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How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 12:41:01 PM
I agree with Molly Maude.
If you are new to dating period you will need time to figure out what age groups are open to dating you in general.
You will also learn what ages groups in general you enjoy dating.

I think you should ask yourself, if you were single at 50, would you have dated a women 69. The answer may or may not give you food for thought as to what age is best for you to look for.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 17
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How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 12:45:37 PM
The range should be from the legal age limit to the age of death. Younger gets you in jail, older will also get you in jail, as well as being rather disgusting........

The only thing I noticed is the pre/post menopause line. Ages below that line pose a serious risk of the arrival of children, which at 69 is fine if you are into it, but a pretty hard grind, with little prospect that you will see it through to the end before you yourself check out. Even ages over that line present some risk, what with new technology and such.

Regardless of the opinions of the Forum crowd, there are women of all ages who are into old farts like you. Why that is so I can't really fathom myself, but its quite true. So, go for whoever you find attractive and who expresses an interest. The ones who are open to it will be quite happy to be with you. The others will decline your advances....
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 18
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 12:53:40 PM
One comment about your profile seeker. Sometimes I read profiles with out looking at the pics stated age, and try to guess age just from what they write.

Your interests are:

Reading, cooking, singing. being happy with each day, Im very open to new and exciting things, Ohio State Buckeyes, and Pitsburgh Steelers, I sing in my church choir, maybe a drive, and trip to Frank Lloyd Wrights Falling Waters Home.

IMO this reads like a very settled man above the age of 60 who enjoys a quite time by the fire and a pleasant picnic in the summer. I would think the majority of woman above the age of 60 would be happy with this. 55 maybe a lot, younger 50-55 not so many. Just my own guess and nothing else.

In the end it really depends on what you want and what you are willing to do to get what you want, but you aren't looking for anything very unusual.

Now this seems more like a profile review.
 VenusandAdonis
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 19
man above the age of 60 who enjoys a quite time by the fire
Posted: 10/22/2012 1:56:25 PM
7 to ten years younger or older..
Age alone does not simulate a match, some ppl are ready to settle down at 20 or thirty. Interests like the above quote often stems from lifestyle choices.
Some ppl are young at 40, you could b that unsung 'young at heart' soul well into your 60s.
I met a fireman in his 50s, really buff. Just saying age is all relative..
More than age, is state of mind, state of health and common ground.
Follow your heart.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 20
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How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 2:04:06 PM

but where should I draw the line???


You can draw the line where ever you like! At 69 you get to choose what you like....as others have pointed out, that doesn't mean others will agree. The bigger issue on line is that men and women 'FEEL" younger so they LIE about their age on their profile. This is a no no.

I'm 54 and I'm currently dating someone who is 64. While it's true that he's youthful in many ways, the 10 years do make a difference - he's retired and I'm not.

I'm not sure you were asking for peoples view of your photo/age...you do look like you're almost 70.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 21
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 2:11:12 PM
Just found the dating site?
It's like a candy store isn't it?
So many women!
Where do I start?
Who do I go after?

Reality will soon set in, and you will realize that it isn't as easy as you think.
There was actually a man who started a thread on "Why does no one want me now that I'm 60?"

Good luck Op.
Try to keep it real.
 CDMer
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 22
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 2:24:05 PM
On a dating site for the most part only women near your age are going to respond to you or contact you.

The best way to find women whom you find attractive who also find you attractive is to get out into the real world and "work it". You will discover by trial and error where you fit in and where you do not. Some older men can successfully date young, attractive women but most are unable to carry it off.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 23
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How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 2:24:14 PM
OP, I think you will find that age isn't the only issue you will have finding a date.

When I had rottweiler(s) a good amount of men asked me to have a meet and greet, then emailed back to cancel because they were afraid of rottweilers.

This site is no candy store. It can be hard work whether you are 29 or 69. It does get harder with age, for many reasons. Many people just can't be bothered with the candy store mentality others have. Many people won't meet and greet unless it seems worth their while to meet up due to common interests, current lifestyle and the list goes on.
Just because people have a profile, it doesn't mean they meet up with anyone who asks.
 TheSeeker0
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 24
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 3:12:40 PM
I really was just asking for my general knowledge, just had a several hour chat on here with a 72 year old lady, we are planning a day trip on Thursday or Friday to take in the fall colors here in SW Pennsylvania, We will see how it goes... So you all who think I'm just looking for some young thing can think again
Smiles.. I just think you assumed I'm some old perv looking to get laid.. Nothing could be further from the truth

I'm sure that many are fearful of My Rottweiler, but I think most of that fear is just a bad rap that she gets from those who don't know the true breed , I think chihuahua's are meaner on a per capita than Rotties...
Joy is as sweet a dog as has ever lived, and has her GSC from the AKC...

Anyway, ty all for your posts, I'll keep at it... I'm having fun here and that is what it is all about ...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 25
How young is too young for a 69 year old man
Posted: 10/22/2012 3:21:06 PM

I neither look ( although lately I'm looking more my age) nor act my age


Not to be offensive, but yes, you look your age. This forums and profiles are filled with people who insist that they "don't look" their ages. If a person looks younger than his/her chronological age, they don't have to tell others: we'll see it.

And even so, what do your looks have to do with dating a younger woman? Do you think that looking younger "entitles" someone to date younger while old farts who look their ages should stick with old fartesses?

IF you have to ask what is too young for a man your age, you should date ONLY women your age. If you care that much about the opinions of strangers and need their validation, then you care too much what others have to say.

Do what you want to do. Date whomever you can persuade to date you. What does it matter what we think?


My doctor who in an intern says I'm healthier than he is...


Regardless, the great odds are that you will die sooner than most women your age and even greater that you will die before a younger woman.

As for actually dating a man who is nine years older than I am, I can't see it. Because I don't look my age and am very healthy, I want to date a younger man. (That's a bit of sarcasm.)


You can draw the line where ever you like! At 69 you get to choose what you like....as others have pointed out, that doesn't mean others will agree.


Indeed.
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