Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > relationship dilemma      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 3
relationship dilemmaPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

Do i tell her before hand or do i let her find out for herself?


I'm assuming the problem is that you are under-sized! But as long as you can get aroused, I don't think it should be a major problem; unless of course it is so small that it does not allow you to perform inside her.

You may want to tell her before hand, because you don't want to create any uncomfortable situations either for her or yourself.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 4
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 10:57:07 AM
Take your time, before, during and after, and use all your bits - not everything needs to revolve around genitals. Don't let your concern over this make you afraid to explore and experiment. Ultimately, she should be able to say that size doesn't matter. Good luck.
 1964armymom
Joined: 7/18/2012
Msg: 5
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 11:03:16 AM
I can't speak for all women, just base my conclusions on my own experiences and those of others that have been shared with me.
Some people think that size is everything. :/ But sometimes, the 'bigger' men, well that's all they have to offer. Many women would prefer a man who is interested in pleasing her first, and size plays only a part in that.
When the time comes, don't let your insecurities show. Just relax and make it a good experience for both of you.
 warmheart050
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 6
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 11:14:43 AM
If I were u I would tell her,men have told me that before I met them,probally because they were comfortable telling me everything,upfront and honest is the way to go,I think she will be ok with it since she seems to like u:)
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 7
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 11:21:43 AM
In a round about way .. not 100 percent sure what the OP is trying to say.. ! The key to great sex is great people.. if you know your partner you'll know her needs.. I get the biggest kick out of the generic stud muffins on these sites who say they know how to do the "round to-it".. truth is ...unless you know your partner and she or he knows himself ... there own bodies than it is totall bull cah cah to believe you can have great sex if you don't know the individual.. and that is what and why we create intimate unions.. because they are between only the two that participate.. not half the monkey on monkey hill.. The best thing you can do is to be totally honest in your dialogue of yourself first and then to her .. if she rejects you .. no big deal, she wasn't the right gal for you.. besides any gal that bases her decision of a bond with you on your body parts is not exactly capable of what is necessary to be a couple..Take the late Christopher Reeve and his beautiful late wife Dana.. ever see a picture of what was between them.. that is what the real deal is all about .. so don't worry .. chances are if she is worried about your performance and remains a bystander and a criticizer she'll be a real treat in bed and in life.. meaning .. someone to stay away from..anyway no such thing as a great lover unless you're a great person.. if you both engage in great communication and respect each others boundaries you'll see .. as for it ending because of your body.. then it wasn't worth much to begin with..
 Feel_i_Bring
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 8
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 11:47:13 AM
Its not the size of the wand.. its the magic of the magician =D
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 9
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 11:47:38 AM
Lots of men are in the same situation with you, and no I don't think you have to tell her, she'll know when she gets there. When you set yourself up by telling your short comings to the other person, they see the weakness and even if they aren't going to take advantage of you, you make yourself appear weak and that causes a domino effect. You have what you have, we all get the roll of the DNA dice, she'll want to date you as you are or she won't. Don't tell people they may not want to date you because your are less endowed or fat or whatever flaw you think makes you undesirable, you have no idea what the other person thinks but when you tell them you are flawed, then they immediately see you that way. Go with the flow and if she's no longer interested, it would be because of many things, don't jump to conclusions about it having to be your one special insecurity.
 warmheart050
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 11
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 11:58:45 AM
the size of the tool is not what makes the man :)
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 12
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 12:26:39 PM
My first reaction was to say no, just let it be. The most intense and quickest orgasms I've ever had was with someone less than average size, as he hit the gspot perfectly in some positions.

After re reading your post and being aware of you saying you've had "mixed reactions, to say the least" I remember worrying about that when I first decided to look for a lover. I had only been with one man in 10 years, and had had a baby in the meantime, and worried how someone would react to the "baby damage." Thankfully the guy was a freind first, so I was able to mention or joke about my concern about it before hand. Turned out to be nothing to be concerned about and perfectly normal changes post-childbirth.

If it would make you feel better, I would mention it if an opportune time comes up. Better yet, not to sound school girlish, but don't we all get an idea of size while making out before the clothes come off? That might be enough to prepare you from a surprise reaction and prepare her from the same. If so, just proceed, you'll both likely be so focused on just the pure pleasure of the moment that you wouldn't want to ruin that by saying something.

Again, really though, it doesn't matter. Re-read the second sentence.
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 13
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 12:31:13 PM
No, don't mention it and try not to have any anxiety over it. You are what you are and she is what she is, human.

Now, if after clothes are off and she exclaims loudly " who do you expect to please with THAT!" just grin evilly at her and say " me, bi*tch, me!" :-)
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 15
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 1:05:46 PM
Lol ... I like his idea better. Got a cute visual of a group of forum people in the room coaching you ... wait, wait, no! back up ... wait ...
 warmheart050
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 16
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 1:16:11 PM
bebe lmaoooooo
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 17
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 1:45:25 PM
The worries on this are probably overblown in your head.

I hate typing porno tips in here but...
when you make out I suggest you go down on her.
(I mean orally)
Give her a thrill that way and whatever you have will be of less importance.
and well received.
:-P
 ARTSYLADEEEE
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 18
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 2:02:43 PM
Stray Cat makes a good point. Make up for lack of size by becoming talented with the tongue.
 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 19
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 2:05:12 PM
Google Howard Stern small penis contest. Watch the full version. You will feel a TON better afterward. On a lighter note, two of my longest relationships and BEST SEX were with short men with smaller penises. It's not about the tool, it's the craftsmanship that matters. I'm not talking about what happens between her legs, it's what is between her ears. If you love someone, you feel fantastic no matter what he does down there, really.
 ARTSYLADEEEE
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 20
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 2:12:02 PM

On a lighter note, two of my longest relationships and BEST SEX were with short men with smaller penises.On a lighter note, two of my longest relationships and BEST SEX were with short men with smaller penises.


The size of the man has nothing to do with the size of his parts.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 22
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 2:27:39 PM

I'm not the most blessed in the downstairs department I really like this girl and im not sure what to do


You might try ,......
Smacking her as$,. drop her to the floor a couple of times , .pull her hair, and moderately choke her.

That way, when she gets up the next morning , sore all over ....she'll remember what a tiger you are in bed .!!
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 25
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 3:12:12 PM
I've been in your situation.
The first man I dated from here was amazing.
He was a GREAT kisser, and very good at cuddling.
When the time came for intimacy, he said nothing.
Because he took such care with the foreplay, it was of no concern to me.

Size does not make the man.

And this man was majorly challenged.

When he was taking me home he made a comment about his size.
That just sounded awful.
From that moment on I knew that it was a huge (sorry for the pun) issue for him.
Personally I felt he should have said NOTHING!

Make up for it in other ways.
And yes ... as Stray Cat said, make sure she is damn satisfied with the oral and foreplay prior to you dropping your drawers.
A woman will remember that more.
Because ... there are very large men out there that hold no importance to foreplay.
They just want you sit on top and do the deed.
We are not into that.
Give us a man who knows how to please US!


If I were u I would tell her,men have told me that before I met them,probally because they were comfortable telling me everything,upfront and honest is the way to go,I think she will be ok with it since she seems to like u:)


^^^
This ... NO DON'T DO IT!
 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 27
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 6:26:45 PM
Word.
Oh, and if that profile pic is you, you have a LOT OF GOOD to grab a hold of and feel good about. A LOT.
 Scared888
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 28
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 6:53:55 PM
I wouldnt go there until you have been on more dates.

If she has fallen for you already then its not going to matter.

if she just likes you... Its going to matter.
 Scared888
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 29
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 6:56:00 PM
Also, I just looked at your profile and not to be rude but theres nothing big about you that would lead her to believe that you were going to be well endowed...... I wouldn't expect you to be well endowed. Perhaps she already knows.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 30
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 8:53:26 PM
smithytheman- Sexual attraction starts in a persons mind. I'm not saying it's imagined, far from it. I'm saying she's already into you for other reasons.
The fact that you've gone out five times means she likes the way you treat her, the things you say and do, the person you are.
Don't over think this.
Relax and go with the flow.
I hope this isn't too frank, but I'll tell you this.........
When you do get to the moment take your time and ask her what she likes. Touch and caress from head to toe, please her orally, make penetration the last thing to happen. If you will do this I PROMISE your size won't be an issue.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 31
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/24/2012 9:00:08 PM
The only time a d**** is too small is when it is limp.

If you can maintain an errection, you're big enough for most women.
If you're a good and unselfish lover, you are better than most men, these days.
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 36
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/25/2012 3:11:25 PM
any notice.. smithy hasn't returned to his own dilemma.. maybe just maybe he got a penis transplant and now he can perform a brain transplant on the rest of us.. hmmm
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 40
view profile
History
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/25/2012 4:47:42 PM

I just looked at your profile and not to be rude but theres nothing big about you that would lead her to believe that you were going to be well endowed...... I wouldn't expect you to be well endowed


uh ..? how does this work....?..... I must have skipped too many days in math class
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > relationship dilemma