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Show ALL Forums  > Australia  > When did people stop dating?      Home login  
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 kmac6
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 2
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When did people stop dating?Page 1 of 1    
You know I have found this to be mostly true also. Seems like one has to tick all the boxes at once or it is ....>next!! How can you possibly get to know someone unless you spent a fair amount of time in each others company. One guy I went out with a few times (is that dating?) announced one day "No way am I ever getting married again. 'Squse me the thought had never occured to me. Anyway distance won out and he was saved. lol.. Getting past that first coffee meet seems to be the big test these days.
Yes one day I would like to be in a committed relationship but we would have to be sure we knew each other just that little bit first.
 qldblue
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 3
When did people stop dating?
Posted: 10/26/2012 5:20:34 PM
I think that to some people if it can happen in the movies then it can happen in REAL life.

I agree with you kmac, the coffee thing is the big test, if there is no instant spark then out you go and the next candidate is called upon.

You ladies may have the same problems in the same areas as some of us guys; bikes, 4wd, camping, fine dining and taking a seat behind family, friends and or work.

Don't get me wrong but I would have thought that as a partner you would rate as an equal to any kids but higher than the rest of the family, friends and or work.

I was once told that since I didn't believe that sex in a relationship was the highest priority in a relationship then I was not the ideal person for that person, go figure.

To me sex doesn't really define a long term relationship but what does define a relationship is the little things like getting to know one another in various scenarios such as the interaction between the man and women, all the children, their likes and dislikes and their jobs.

A good example of this would be, and this is only an example 3ff, 3ff doesn't like camping and I do, so everytime I was to do something that had camping involved I would not expect 3ff to go along just the same if something that 3ff liked doing and I didn't, this goes with any other activity for other people.

Reading some other posts by other people tends to make me think of the why they are on a dating site.

My biggest problem I suppose is that what you see in my posts is actually me as I haven't been able to have a different persona to separate the two.
 kmac6
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 5
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When did people stop dating?
Posted: 10/26/2012 7:15:12 PM
I cannot answer that. Perhaps if I was in my forties I would have a different answer. Family has always been very important to me and because on Tuesday my daughter had her second son it is a sure bet I will be there supporting them when they need it so dating for the time being would be put on hold. If I was actively looking that is. lol.. My two yr old grandson requires a lot of energy as me is MIGHTY MOUSE.. and dad works long hrs.

Perhaps that is the answer.. People have lots of other priorities and dating may need to be fitted in around that. However the door is not closed and it is a matter as you say of making the time and planning to spend it in each others company.
 greyingred
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 6
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When did people stop dating?
Posted: 10/26/2012 11:05:57 PM
dating...ugh. Yup I find the concept of turning up and being assessed like some prize showpony borderline humiliating. worse still one has no idea what the other is really looking for. Have usually found it is not dating, getting to know eachother etc but FWB, with a few over the years getting snarky because my legs wouldn't go up in the air at the click of their own agendas and others who assumed that all my free time belonged to them, even when they went camping on their own, seems they can do what they like and my job is to follow two steps behind....and woe betide me if I want to do something they don't like...even when they are not invited anyway. So I agree dating seems to be a rare thing....would like to try it again sometime. genuine no strings attached good time out.
 seafoodandeatit
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 7
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When did people stop dating?
Posted: 10/27/2012 2:02:20 AM
Maybe I am older maybe not, FWB sounds fun but i think in the long term someone will get hurt.
Aslo i would want to be the only one she would want to be with,(sexualy and if i do not mean that much i feel i dont mean much to her) and the same in return.
I have been on a few coffee "dates" and i keep them very relaxed and casual.
I too would like to find someone who can have genuine no strings attached good times out without the presumption that it will end up in their bed room.
Besides i think dating can be fun if its kept relaxed and i am to old to jump through the old traditional dating hoops. lol
 qldblue
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 8
When did people stop dating?
Posted: 10/27/2012 2:32:02 AM
In a round about way 3ff you have reinforced my point in that people can be together and still do things apart and as for the waxing 3ff, I would not be the person holding your hand however I may take pleasure in applying and then removing the wax but not interested in being waxed myself.

Just to agree with you kmac, if you wanted to go and support your daughter giving birth to your grandchild, I would support you and your daughter by making sure that your daughter's partner and grandson got fed and I would also help do any laundry that needed to be done, actually I would do most anything to limit my time in a hospital.

As I am not a sensitive new age guy, I would not impose myself in the things that detracts from those special moments that in my opinion really should be special moments for those directly involved but hey that is me.

Over the years I have heard the third date rule, the fifth date rule, etc and again in my opinion those stupid rules only place more pressure on people.

The first time my wife to be and I had any sexual activity was about 4 months into our relationship and that just happened, there was no planning, no conscious thought about when, just a time that seemed right.

I think that by letting it happen without the pressure made our marriage last nearly 25 years before my wife passed away.

I am not saying that this is what everyone should do, all I am saying is it was the right thing for us.

Go figure, a guy who isn't interested in jumping into bed with a woman too have sex as soon as possible.
 greyingred
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 12
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When did people stop dating?
Posted: 11/8/2012 5:19:42 PM
I gotta say I'm looking for victim # 5. I don't mind the practice before I find the Man I was Promised. Lol!


Precisely or as I put it, I miss you but my aim is improving. possibly it could be that instead of losing my cinderella slipper I lob it at 'em but meh, most deserve it lol.

Went on a date last sunday arvo. Good lord?! it was fun. How did that happen?
 greyingred
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 13
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When did people stop dating?
Posted: 11/8/2012 6:04:51 PM

take it to the limit ,one more time


Not a wise suggestion when I consider it is me you are talking about lol. Though quite behaved myself except for getting a photo of me pinching Picasso's nude's nipple....kissy kissy Mr Gallery Guards, they were laughing. I can see myself as a black tweeded hag still flouting the rules of don'ts, don't touch art, don't walk on the grass, don't sing in public, don't dance in public, don't go up the down escalators...there is so much free and harmless fun to be had, need a brave partner lol.
 tensail
Joined: 10/15/2009
Msg: 14
When did people stop dating?
Posted: 11/19/2012 7:14:27 PM
when feminism became intolerable
 RorschachTM
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 15
When did people stop dating?
Posted: 11/19/2012 8:56:55 PM
I blame the clubbing scene/culture with hooking up mentality... and dating websites aren't blameless either.
Having said that, I think dating is still alive, so what if its on life support?
 lok
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 16
When did people stop dating?
Posted: 11/22/2012 2:16:14 PM
We as humans are evolving , things are more expensive , so we work longer hours to afford items , hobbies are more time consuming , we find it hard to spend great amounts of quality time with partners , as we get stuck behind a monitor , just like i am now. Back in the days with no computers or internet , there was an abundance of spare time , kids would be outside playing till the sun goes down , Parents had all the daily tasks done , husbands/wives were home from work and the lawn only got mowed on the weekends , and never took long ( church sunday mornings for some ).

The hustle and bustle of every day life makes it hard to have that quality time. Ive now realized that i dont have the time that i thought i'd have for "quality time with someone" , therefore finding someone who see's it too will be hard to find , as we are all carrying old fashioned values to a point ( white picket fence , 2.5 kids etc etc ).

As much as booty calls are frowned upon by some , maybe that style of dating is becoming the new norm??? , people doing their own thing , and when time permits , they spend time as a couple.

my 2c.

Lok out
 Anton0133
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 18
When did people stop dating?
Posted: 12/3/2012 4:14:25 AM
Haha, what's a date?
I'm 40, and never had one.
I think dating stopped in the 60s or 70s maybe.
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 19
When did people stop dating?
Posted: 12/3/2012 4:10:35 PM
I agree.

Like you I either get:

Want to move in with me immediately
- Made the mistake of allowing one man to move in on the 3rd date. Silly me.
Was an enjoyable 18 months before the rose coloured glasses fell off.

Proposals of marriage before meeting.
- I am sure these are tongue in cheek. At least I hope. Had one yesterday.

Want no string sex
- usually with their wife or significant other not finding out.

FWB - generally to their benefit and no going out or doing anything.

1 self confessed woman beater.
A few self confessed alcoholic and gambling addicts. And one self medicating with Meth.

And quite a few who after one or two meetings and I like them.. they dissapear into thin air.

I dream of having a 'boyfriend' ahhhh.
A man to do things with, go out, be intimate and exclusive, live in our own places and share expenses whenever we do something. Friend and lover.

OP you are in Townsville. Where there are many many more men than women. Most with jobs!!!
If you are complaining what hope is there for us in the big smoke.

Sigh.

lol
 LoveSoulLife
Joined: 12/6/2012
Msg: 20
When did people stop dating?
Posted: 1/7/2013 9:02:24 PM
I think the definition of dating these days is not what it used to be. OR maybe my definition is not right lol.

Dating to me is slowing getting to know someone over some meet ups and enjoying the get to know people phase. But I have always thought of being respectful enough that if we are intimate then I'm not being intimate elsewhere for the time being.

Dating from what I understand it today is having a few different "options" on the run ... that really is not appealing to me in anyway as I would like the respect of someone putting in a real effort into getting to know me not trying to juggle remembering my replies to the other 3 he has on the go. Plus I like to give my full attention so I don't miss anything great. You soon know if your not going to click with a person and just be truthful and move on to dating someone else.

again though not sure if my point of view on that one is the right one lol
 EratoTheMuse
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 21
When did people stop dating?
Posted: 1/9/2013 11:38:26 PM
Kind of why I changed my profile from Looking for a relationship" to "dating and no commitment" (or whatever it is).
Every message is in this huge rush to settle down and be this seriously committed couple yesterday! Noooo it's way too fast!

That or FWB, which to me is just not something I'd do so scrap that as well.

Yes,......whatever happened to dating and just enjoying yourself?
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 22
When did people stop dating?
Posted: 1/10/2013 12:43:43 AM
OP. Great question. You nailed it.
Wanting a committment right away is unreasonable. You have to put a bit of mutual work in to get there.

FWB's is just a less harsh of term, or disguise that society has given for users who are loose, slutty, and man-whorish.
 tisme_susan
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 24
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When did people stop dating?
Posted: 3/6/2013 1:14:10 AM
I used to think if no instant spark then forget it. But my daughter proved to me that an instant spark is not the be and end all.. She met a guy on RSVP. There was no instant spark (for her at least) but she did like him. They dated for a very long time before they did the wild thing lol (her terms, she wanted to make sure he was right before she really committed) and have been together now for two years and have just got engaged. He's one of the nicest guys you could ever meet...so an instant spark is not everything in my opinion.
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