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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > So im fresh out a 2 year relationship      Home login  
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 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 2
So im fresh out a 2 year relationshipPage 1 of 1    

i dont know how to cope
any advice


Try to find someone who you can have a meaningful relationship with, but this might take time. Getting a quick Fvck usually doesn't help much! You have to be patient.
 dearsavannah
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 3
So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/26/2012 10:22:14 PM
Just take things slowly. It's going to take you some time to get over your ex. If I were you I wouldn't be looking for somebody else right now, but rather piecing myself back together.

Take some time to just focus on you and what you want right now. Don't rush or force things.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 4
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So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/26/2012 10:23:10 PM
You might want to read about the science of love so you will understand your withdraw of love chemicals.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 6
So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/27/2012 7:13:21 AM

i still think about her from time to time

What's wrong with thinking about her occasionally? Truth is you're not running away from thinking bout her. You're running away from what those thoughts make you feel. To you, those thoughts of her make you feel [fill in the blank]

Then think about, I mean really think about why it's a problem to feel the way you feel. That's what you truly need to be dealing with. That's what you tried to ignore or cover up by having sex with someone else so quickly.

The best way (i.e. the healthiest way) through emotions is to work through them instead of stuffing them or deflecting them.

I'm not saying this is easy. I'm going through the same thing. But I console myself by believing what I learn about, and change about, myself in this breakup helps me be more the person I want to be.

Good luck, OP

P.S. my son is also a CNA - good on you.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 7
So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/27/2012 7:26:13 AM
Read the forums. Even do searches for things that kind of match what happened to you and her. You will find that you are not alone. That others have felt the same way. And they all overcame. So will you.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 8
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So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/27/2012 8:48:00 AM
You ride it out and wait for time to pass. While the time is passing, you stay busy doing things that make you happy to make the days go by more quickly. When she pops into your mind and you feel the hurt and you miss her, you can cry, punch a pillow, write poetry, write scathing letters BUT DON'T MAIL THEM, or sleep. The hurt will pass, and over time will hurt less and less. Experiencing the hurt will make you a stronger person, which sounds corny, but it's true. It will go away, maybe in a few minutes, maybe not till tomorrow, but it will go away.

What you don't want to do is try to avoid hurting by doing stupid things like trying to figure out what went wrong, or how you can fix everything and get her back, calling and texting her, screwing other women, etc. Those are only temporary patches, like band-aids. And don't wallow in a bunch of "if only's"....if only you were taller, smarter, richer, had a better car, etc. you'd still be together. You wouldn't be. You are you, and none of those things will matter to the right woman. You just haven't found her yet, and you will someday. This one is just one more out of the way and clearing the path for the right one to come along.

It just takes time, and you're not alone. Every single one of us has been through it, probably multiple times.
 mrsforums
Joined: 6/14/2011
Msg: 9
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So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/27/2012 9:08:12 AM
Looking at your POF join date, it seems that you had moved on prior to the breakup.

MrsF
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 10
So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/27/2012 5:56:15 PM
I'm not gonna advocate celibacy while you nurse your wounds, but try to be respectful of the women you sleep with. Men are men, but don't lie to them to get in their pants.

Everything they say about healing is true. It takes time. You can't drink or screw your way out of it.

You could honestly tell them where your're at emotionally and you know what that's gonna get you...nada.

I always thought getting my divorce finalized made me 'available' but then I realized women were turned off by not being fully divorced for at least a year. I always get that dreaded question 'so how long have you been divorced?'

Maybe tell the women you're looking to date but nothing serious and see where that gets you.

It's tough. Women won't touch you with a 10' pole if you tell 'em your heart is with another.

Ok, done rambling. I hear the horde coming...
 kjay41
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 11
So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/27/2012 6:01:20 PM
I have been there, I coped by being celibate and taking time for me to heal and explore what part I had in the relationship ending. I used it as a time to reflect and learn from the mistakes.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 12
So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/27/2012 6:08:36 PM
I honestly think women handle break ups better then us guys. Men are wired to procreate and procreating on the rebound is a disaster.

Sorry to sound blunt but I feel for the guy but I feel more for the women he's gonna deceive who think he's ready to move on because he slept with them.
 LukeMM23
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 14
So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 12:48:42 AM
How serious were you? Were you living together?

If so, then, you've got a bunch of memories to put past you and that will take time.

Makes me really wish I could experience that kind of relationship.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 15
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So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 10:16:00 AM
I still think about my ex every day, doesn't stop me from going on with my life. Can't control your mind but you can control your actions.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 18
So im fresh out a 2 year relationship
Posted: 10/29/2012 9:47:52 AM

we broke up sept 19th


Joined: 8/9/2012


but i still think about her from time to time


I guess August 9th was one of the times you weren't thinking about her. :/


Ive had sex since we broke up with a co worker


So... you guys were in a relationship with a coworker that you broke up with ???

^-^
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