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 kjay41
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 1
KissingPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Is it just me or does anyone else agree that kissing is much more intimate than, sex in of itself; I know I am going to get a lot of crap about this comment....so let me try and explain; first off, I don't advocate sexual promiscuity, but I feel that kissing is more intimate, I can see having a casual affair minus the kissing if that person is not someone you truly care for...am I making any sense here, anyone agree?
 Cbracing
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 2
Kissing
Posted: 10/27/2012 10:25:42 PM
i agree, there is nothing that either turns me on more, or shows my love for someone than kissing. sometimes i would rather kiss all night than have sex
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3
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Kissing
Posted: 10/27/2012 11:02:16 PM
Well, sort of.

For one thing, kissing involves people's faces. I suspect that since all of our primary sensory organs are there, stuck on the outside of the shell carrying our primary thinking organ, that kissing would psychologically feel much more involving than coitus.

On the other hand, if you are my proposed girlfriend, and you admit that you kissed another guy, I MIGHT let you apologize and promise not to do so again. But if you tell me you had sex with him, and it was meaningless, because you like to KISS me, I will not hear the end of your sentence.

So, from your own personal point of view, I can understand how you might believe that meaningless sex wouldn't disturb your feelings for your official mate. However in practice, I doubt you will find many people outside of the Porn industry, and possibly the professional escort service industry, who will put up with being on the OTHER emotional end of things.
 SugahPunkin
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 4
Kissing
Posted: 10/27/2012 11:14:02 PM
omg.. I LOVE kissing. I can do that for hours.
*sighs at the thought
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 5
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 12:33:01 AM
I think kissing can be. Sometimes you just feel, from your chest, your soul either filling up or emptying as you exchange that with them.

In general, I think that it happens more so during sex.

I had a fwb for a year and a half I never kissed open-mouthed once. I think it can distinguish intimacy in that respect.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 6
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 4:33:04 AM
every once in a while in the swinging community you run across a couple that will share each other but will not kiss anyone except their SO.. now Im not a swinger but have done security work at swinger parties and bars ..and have many friends ..and have heard talk ... but it dont make sense to me i know I played my share of spin the bottle and other kissing games when I was a teen ..i have made out with many girl before I lost my virginity .. but for me sex was the main event ...but that was before rainbow parties so maybe things have changed ..i love kissing and cant imagine sex that didnt involve kissing ..nope to me sex is way more intimate than kissing...but thats just me
 eattoplease55
Joined: 10/22/2012
Msg: 7
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 5:25:34 AM
Its been my experience that when the kissing takes prolong time....both are really turned on....i can kiss for hrs and have been told I do it well....good kissing is the forefront to good foreplay.and good everything else....to many dont give the time to these actions during courtship or normal relationships.....often found out a bit to late....lol
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 8
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 7:42:51 AM
Im another who needs long,passionate,all-encompassing pash sessions where you melt into each other from head to toe and nothing else in the world matters.
I want it rough and passionate and the feeling its never going to end...........then,we'll get to the best bit
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 9
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Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 7:59:03 AM
I couldn't imagine not kissing while having sex.....it's just a natural part of it all.
I would have to "think" too much to not kiss and that would distract me from actually enjoying the sex!
If I'm comfortable enough to be having sex with a man, I'm comfortable enough to kiss him....
and I can't imagine that I've gotten comfortable enough......without all the kissing that goes on beforehand.

Never did understand the "more intimate" reasonings......
some say oral sex is more intimate than intercourse and won't do it unless in a committed relationship.....
Personally, that just sounds like a cop out for someone that doesn't truly love giving/recieving oral sex!!
To me.....it's all intimate, and I crave it all so no way I wouldn't do one act or another once we've gotten to the naked stage!
 NOCLOWNING
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 10
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 8:02:12 AM
People really have sex with people, and dont kiss? Really?
Its all in the kiss!!! If your a good kisser, your usually a good lover.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 11
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 1:39:57 PM
I should clarify my no kissing statement.

It was someone I came to know first when I was looking for someone (I live with someone else). Both of us had been in long, very traditional relationships ... me still being in one and him recently divorced. There were things we wanted to try that we had never or only had once or twice. It was the "rule" when we started ... no kissing, no sex, and you honestly tell each other when you don't want to do it anymore. I made the rule because it was my excuse for getting what I wanted to have without as much emotional involvement. In my mind, my decision to have sex was reasonable in my situation, but emotional involvement was more of a betrayal.

It defined what the relationship was, which was trusted experimentation. We broke the sex rule once or twice unintentionally, and in the end, because he was moving away, we did add sex for a short time first, but there was no point in kissing by then.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 12
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Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 2:04:40 PM

It defined what the relationship was, which was trusted experimentation. We broke the sex rule once or twice unintentionally, and in the end, because he was moving away, we did add sex for a short time first, but there was no point in kissing by then.

HUH? How do you unintentionally have sex?
Did he just fall in and you figured while he was there he might as well wiggle it a little?

No point in kissing?
Hell.......I can't find a point in having sex if we're not going to kiss!!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 13
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Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 2:10:56 PM

We broke the sex rule once or twice unintentionally


I always laugh when someone says this. I picture you and your whatever, perhaps in a grocery store, and one of you slips on a bit of produce. The other is standing too close, and suddenly OOPS!!! you realize "we just had sex! How unfortunate!"

Or you are walking down the street two blocks from your "friends" house. You trip over a crack, and in addition to breaking your mothers back, you tumble head over heals, again and again, until you find yourself dizzy and confused, naked under your friend. Oops again! Call the insurance company, accidental sex again!!

"And I SO meant just to get a carton of milk from the Seven Eleven!! Guess I'd better wear a prophylactic every time I go for a walk, just in case!"
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 14
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 3:36:58 PM
Lol ... I thought when I typed that it wasn't the right word ... we didn't intend to have sex, but violated the rule "in the moment". Wasn't my fault, I was tied up and blindfolded facing the wrong way :) I actually stopped seeing him for several moths after that because I was bothered he didn't respect my boundaries. I know, I know, was it realistic to think he would in that situation. Since we were a good 9 months into it, yes, I thought he would.

 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 15
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Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 4:03:24 PM

Wasn't my fault, I was tied up facing the wrong way :)


Pardon me for finding this amusing. You were playing BONDAGE games, with someone who was supposed to be a "kissing only" partner, and you call that "unintentional sex, not your fault?"

Whew. Yes, I expect that you will be paying VERY high "Accidental Sex Insurance" premiums for your entire life. If I drove my car, the way you conduct your "intimacy without sex" friendships, I wouldn't even be permitted to walk anywhere unescorted, much less get behind the wheel.

As for kissing, it is indeed the icing on the cake that is a great sexual relationship, but since I am not interested myself in sex without intimacy, I can't imagine finding a need to concern myself with whether coitus is or isn't more emotionally intimate than kissing. And yes, the magic of a deep and meaningful interlocking of lips and tongues is indeed one of the things I will most insist upon, when and if I find someone again. It is what I miss the most often, and what I most commonly fantasize about.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 16
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 4:17:25 PM
No, no .... you read it backwards. Our relationship was based on sexually experimenting /need fulfillment only. We did not kiss. We are still friends 2 years past that, but platonic only.

Your point is well taken, as over time it wasn't what I wanted or needed anymore.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 17
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 5:15:55 PM
Think of the ancient cities that were fortresses. They had a gate. A huge gate that controlled everything that came in an out. Then think in the middle of that city a temple. The temple had all their physical riches, everything that they held valuable, and everything that was spiritually important.

Kissing and sex are the gates to those things. Kissing is very important because it opens the gate. Without opening the gate, nothing else happens. By only kissing without opening the gate of the inner self, nothing else will happen. So once the key is turned and a couple reaches the temple, that is intimacy. Intimacy is sex. Intimacy is the connection that they both make in which all the other riches are shared, happiness, trust, feeling safe, feeling wanted, and the richness of doing all you got for the other.

So go an kiss. Kiss with passion.
 desimale69
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 18
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Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 6:59:26 PM
"A friend of mine calls it the "Pretty Woman" complex...
because, Julia Roberts wouldn't kiss Richard Gere in the movie.
A generation of movie goers think that kissing is somehow more intimate than sex."

That's a prostitute thing. They don't kiss their Johns.....
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 19
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 7:09:09 PM

Pardon me for finding this amusing. You were playing BONDAGE games, with someone who was supposed to be a "kissing only" partner, and you call that "unintentional sex, not your fault?"

Whew. Yes, I expect that you will be paying VERY high "Accidental Sex Insurance" premiums for your entire life. If I drove my car, the way you conduct your "intimacy without sex" friendships, I wouldn't even be permitted to walk anywhere unescorted, much less get behind the wheel.


Actually, it is probably more common in BDSM for people NOT to have sex with someone who is just a "play partner" to them. One can have a very intimate scene without any penetration, oral or even hands-on touching. If she and her play partner had agreed that they would not have sex, then he did violate that boundary and it was "accidental" on her part.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 20
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 7:10:36 PM

we didn't intend to have sex, but violated the rule "in the moment". Wasn't my fault, I was tied up and blindfolded facing the wrong way :)


I love it when that happens....................
 Ray_1957
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 21
Kissing
Posted: 10/28/2012 7:59:25 PM
I'll chime in on this one...I so appreciate a great kisser!
For me it's a very important part of a relationship and I'm passionate about it but, non smokers and good dental/oral hygiene is a must.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 22
Kissing
Posted: 10/29/2012 5:52:16 AM
SCC SAF: That's an interesting post. We weren't "into" BDSM too much, but just exploring a little bit of everything. I think the bdsm or control-type experiences made me more sensitive to "vibes". I can see how what you are referring to could be very intimate without even touch

I think it would be awesome if all relationships progress slowly as to learn and discover about each other physically before having actual sex. Difficult, perhaps, but might be well worth the wait and exploration.
 Ash029
Joined: 3/26/2012
Msg: 23
Kissing
Posted: 11/2/2012 8:19:35 PM
Kissing hands down...of course he has to be a great kisser.
 01Sandy01
Joined: 10/14/2012
Msg: 24
Kissing
Posted: 11/2/2012 8:38:24 PM
you are making perfect sense.for me kissing is very intimate.if there are no feelings involved there is no kissing at all
Kissing
Posted: 11/3/2012 1:59:54 AM
mmm...the great kiss...I often thought I'd collect sculptures and paintings of a couple kissing.
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