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 RorschachTM
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 2
Unrealistic online dating expectations?Page 1 of 1    
Well mate, it could be that you are not poetic or dramatic enough...

I saw few profiles recently making references to fifty shades of grey... maybe you need to write your messages like an erotica. :P
 kmac6
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 3
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Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 10/28/2012 11:30:27 PM
In answer to your questions.. 'yes' and 'no' to all of the above. A lot of things factor into it and it depends on who is looking for what. Men and women both complain of this issue. Your profile is ok as are the photos but may I suggest that you add a little more detail about yourself and interests and perhaps a close up photo. :) and what type of woman you are looking for.

You don't have message restrictions that I can see so that should not be the problem.

Good Luck.
 greyingred
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 4
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Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 10/29/2012 12:08:30 AM
Love the main pic...always good to make people laugh. as is your first option for a date...haven't been in a panel van for years lol.

Poster above is probably right about writing a bit more about yourself.

Also maybe since occupation says involves a uniform which is very vague and can often give quite the opposite reaction to the old cliche 'all girls love a man in a uniform'. (NSW Police do not have a particularly good reputation). Suggest maybe you either say nothing or be more specific...personally I think the Hungry Jack's uniforms are quite fetching but I am out of your age range and local bus route.

Have another dating suggestion.....standing over Kiama blowhole to see who lasts the longest..please bring Marilyn Monroe dress for full effect.

Best of luck.
 tinapenny
Joined: 8/30/2010
Msg: 5
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 10/29/2012 12:20:55 AM
I'm sure its just a matter of numbers. You're basically weeding out people by writing to them and finding they dont respond, so eventually you should find someone you click with.

I agree with kmac that having a close up pic would be nice, and hopefully people will be more likely to respond to a more close up and personal greeting, as it were.

I've been having the opposite problem ie people respond when I send a message (mostly) but if, after half a dozen messages, its becoming clear that we aren't on the same wavelength and I say so nicely and wish them luck with their 'fishing' they sometimes get nasty. I know no-one likes feeling rejected but its hardly gracious. Still the result is the same as sending a message that didn't get answered.....next :)
 Noxious_Hysteria
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 7
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 10/29/2012 2:48:51 AM
Online dating has three main ingredients; time, deception and one good one (<- take that as you will).

Time; its painfully slow, from the chat, chat, chat to the phone call to the eventual meeting to the second date or to no date at all and back to chat. REPEAT.

Deception; this is the one that your at right now. Many MANY people hide behind a PC. Think, if you spoke to (real life equivalent to an email) a female in a pub/club/wherever and she simply looked at you, turned on her heel and walked off you would think 'What a rude so-and-so. Dont think I will bother with that one'. Not responding to emails is the electronic equivalent. Move on brother, so not worth it. Be as nice as you want, people not responding even with 'Your not my type' (how the hell can you know that without giving someone a second of your precious time!) are not deserving of you or your time.

One good one; I can honestly say that in the 10 odd years I have been internet dating off and on I have met 2 decent fellas. TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Its cra**y odds at best. Still, the freaks are hysterical and I trudge on just for the giggle factor or else I would dead set cry.

Dont give up, just get back in your bunker and reload!
 CheekyCapricorn
Joined: 9/12/2012
Msg: 9
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 10/29/2012 5:05:22 AM
It really does depend on what the women themselves are looking for, from what I've seen on here the fact your longest relationship has been under a year scares women off at this age, they're looking to settle down and probably unlikely to take the risk on a guy who for what ever reason has no track record of commitment (as they would interpret that).
 LoveSoulLife
Joined: 12/6/2012
Msg: 10
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/7/2013 9:31:10 PM
lol I could say the exact same about the men I have encountered ;)
 Sweetandtoxication
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 11
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/7/2013 10:45:25 PM
Meh your woefully self negative flimsily passed off as humour, profile, may be the issue, rather than the terribly unclear photographs.
Not sure if dating a cider or a roo. Perhaps a monkey?
Also not sure if feet through walls really screams mature man wants to be in your home. If all jokes. Then perhaps, ladies on here tire of manboy and just want a man.
 MeganPerth67
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 12
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/8/2013 12:54:16 AM
ummmm I think your profile may have something to do with it!!!!!!!
 Nonz81
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 13
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/8/2013 1:01:28 AM
sweetandtoxicated is right on point. I thought the photos were cool including foot through the wall. It showed someone who loves to have fun and possibly renovations........ then I scrolled down and read the description. Sorry to say it is very off putting, very unlike the photos posted.
 peony-rose
Joined: 9/24/2012
Msg: 14
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/8/2013 1:08:39 AM
Well for starters I can't even see your face clearly in any of your photos, so it is difficult to take a profile like that seriously. I'd like to see who was contacting me. Maybe this is one of the problems you have???
 tinapenny
Joined: 8/30/2010
Msg: 15
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/9/2013 9:17:14 AM
pfft... it seems reasonable to me. How he sets boundaries is surely his individual right.

There are worse attempts at drawing the proverbial chalk line. I came across a profile today that stated, "no time wasters". Is this the online dating equivalent of 'no tyre kickers'? I find it a bit ambiguous at best. Would it be a waste of time to meet and find that you didn't suit? Or get together for a year and then break up? The whole process of meeting new people/dating is time consuming. Not sure where you decide that its time wasting.
 qldblue
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 16
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/9/2013 12:51:03 PM
The comment about "Time Wasters" is fairly common on a lot of women's profile as is " My children come first" and the all time favourite " Must not come with baggage".

I haven't figured out what makes a person a time waster yet, as I don't treat any message from one word to severn words as being very serious.

I think the comment about children coming first is a deal breaker as at our age we all have children and I would like to think that even tho our children are important to each and everyone of us, they would all be of equal footing in a relationship.

The word Baggage amuses me because what is termed baggage has been a part of making us who we are and in some cases we have learned from those experiences and everyone is different.

In some profiles that I have read, women want to create man in their image and that takes a couple of million years to perfect, whereas the stock that is already available can be adapted to suit, granted it isn't always perfect but then again neither are some of the women on this site, it is the differences that make things exciting not the sameness
 AlwaysMoreHope
Joined: 12/15/2012
Msg: 18
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/9/2013 4:46:49 PM
Yeah, plenty of tips in the help section to improve profiles... if only people took the time to read it!
Not getting responses? rethink your strategy!
 LoveSoulLife
Joined: 12/6/2012
Msg: 19
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:26:21 PM
I think the profile came after dealing some "fun characters" and lets face it as cynical as it is he shows some personality if you look hard enough. (both profile and pics).

He has some great points though. I would rather know exactly what someone wants and it be raw/honest then it be fluffed up with everything i "want" to hear and then not being able to back it up. I think a man who can renovate and have a laugh is a great thing. I seem to encounter men who don't have any more depth or enjoyment to them then a door stop and lets be honest if you wanted to attract someone who is curious or likes to converse about random things he has hit the nail on the head. I could think of 10 first contact lines to go with from his profile ... but i will agree a nice smile/head shot never hurts ;) (not that I can talk I am the opposite with my pics at the moment lol)

all a matter of opinion and perspective i think ;)
 DannyByTheBay
Joined: 1/12/2013
Msg: 20
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/23/2013 10:53:34 PM
How many people aim too high? People can say what they want but physical attraction is a hugely important thing and both sexes have their requirements and expectations. I'll add my total online dating experience is about 6 weeks worth of which have I've been active on POF for just a few days, I had a few messages in my first hour and that stupid meet me thing goes of on my phone every few hours so it's not as hard as people make out.
 Christianguy2345
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 21
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:19:42 AM
I have just signed on this week and while I have not contacted anyone first myself. I am just trying to figure out this whole online thing. It does appear too many women with totally unrealistic expectations. The number of overweight, under educated women that are contacting me is baffling. A great number are six or more years older than myself and look it. I have received over 50 emails in the three days I have been here. Maybe two shared some commonality. One lady that stated she weighed over 250 lbs became upset when I said I was looking for someone that could keep up with me. Another women that was 72 replied back when I wrote her that I wanted someone closer to my age that I really wasn’t all of that and that normally she dates a lot younger. Have to wonder why she contacted me. Throw in the unreligious that are emailing me and I am wondering if this is really the way for me. After 40 we should know who is a match.
 RorschachTM
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 22
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/25/2013 2:04:50 PM
Hmmmm precisely the reason I am sticking to forums these days. Clicking with people or just even getting a half decent conversation out of some seems like the biggest challenge. I admit, I didn't put much effort into my profile initially, but yeah. I just find it much easier to interact with people in real life. At least I know I won't be dealing with fake photos... :P although there is the whole fake name and number deal... *shudders from having flashback to club-going days*
 InformalRogue
Joined: 11/9/2012
Msg: 23
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 1/26/2013 8:47:34 PM
I'm guessing, Mr Encaffinated, you have updated your profile quite a bit since penning the OP. I took a read of the new you, sure it's heavily cynical but I actually agree with a lot that you say. There are a huge number of women's profiles out there that I term generic. The "I love walks on the beach" and "I love all kinds of music" and my favourite "I enjoy dinning out but also enjoy nights in" (the spelling error was intentional) comments all seem to be designed to not exclude anyone whilst not giving too much away about themselves. I guess that's their choice and they probably have small fears about saying too much in an online environment. They're also obviously playing a numbers game by not excluding anyone - god forbid they should actually specify what type of music they like!!

As for why you're not getting responses I'd have to know more about what you're writing in the initial message. It will be different for each woman but yes, many will be turned off by your current profile, as I'm sure they are by mine, some will be looking for someone totally different to what they state in their profile and some might even find friendly, non-threatening, ice-breaker emails a little on the "here we go again" side. That last bit is not criticism of you or your messages, just an observation that it takes all types and this place has them all.
 heartm8
Joined: 1/6/2009
Msg: 24
Unrealistic online dating expectations?
Posted: 3/4/2018 5:29:52 AM
Yes, George Clooney is coming to sweep them off to Italy. He's bringing a cleaning lady to clean their house, a trainer to get them fit, an American Express card for them to go shopping, and a puppy for jr. Wow, he used his hankie to wipe the snot form juniors face, because their kids come first. There's one guy who's having sex with 25 ladies on POF, and then there's the rest of us who read how the one guy behaves on their profile.
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