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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 1forluv
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 1
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Been divorced 5 yrs and in and out of short relationships..Been searching for something real and longterm..Want so bad to just be settled and happy again..It does not seem as tho anyone wants to commit to one person..
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 2
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 9:22:10 AM
Your photos show a woman not looking for true love, but looking for good sex. If you portray yourself as a seductress, don't be surprised if guys do not take you seriously.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 3
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 9:37:35 AM
I've been out of my marriage for 8 years.
I tried one 5 month relationship, but found that I wasn't ready.
I needed to figure out who I was and what I wanted out of life.
Now that I know who I am, I am very content with being on my own.
I don't date, as I can't find anyone past the "meet and greet" that would even interest me.

Better change that attitude of wanting to settle.
Enjoy your time with you, and be happy with you.
 1forluv
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 4
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 9:49:29 AM
I was married for 21 yrs only been divorced 5yrs its been tough cause it seems its all I know..But after this last relationship I have started to think more about myself and who I am..I would prefer someone permanant in my life but it just dont seem like that is going to happen..Im very picky and I dont plan to settle for just anyone..I dont mean to come off seductive just post who I am and how I dress..Never had an issue of my looks! Not saying im all that either just believe in posting who I am and not fake to anyone..I dont have men coming to me looking for just sex they say they want more and maybe its just me but I dont satify easy when it comes to looking for the right man..I know he is out there..Most men maybe women too dont want to settle down and at my age its hard to find someone that I relate to that wants a permanant relationship..Right now im more concerned about me than a man...its probably called plentyoffish cuz that is all it is to anyone...
 1forluv
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 5
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 9:56:30 AM
Nothing wrong with good sex is there? I dont think my pics show that at all..So I chose a lil more dressed up pic for my profile whats wrong with that? Im 46 im proud of the way I look for my age...
 YAMACANMECRAZY
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 6
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 10:19:21 AM
Im very picky and I dont plan to settle for just anyone..I dont satify easy when it comes to looking for the right man..I know he is out there.


The curse of online dating - You will never feel satisfied because (in your mind) you will always be waiting for that new contact from pof. The perfect guy, the One you have waited for.

I suspect that 26 yrs ago when you met you ex (in real life) you were a lot more accommodating and you got 21 yrs out of that - which is very very good, I'd call that one a success.

Will it happen again .... Not Likely.

By the way - there is nothing wrong with your pictures. They are nice and not overly sexy. You have natural sex appeal - nothing you can do about that.
 1forluv
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 7
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 10:24:30 AM
You maybe right!! Im not looking for perfection by all means but someone who dont get angry everytime I turn around..Im an easy going gal and deserve better...I do have faith someone is out there wether on here or somewhere else..I just never realized how hard it has to be for ppl when you got allot of ppl just here to play too..there are all kinds out there and I just wonder if there is anyone besides myself who actually wants more with just one person..
 VenusandAdonis
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 8
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 10:39:58 AM
Over a dozen people I know, (mostly younger), met here on POF and married, and started families..You are very attractive, (probably one of the best fishing bait, right next to commitment is little more of who you are) and for sure you know about falling in and out of love.(You know what you want)~
Betcha your profile not need to be up for much longer, best wishes..he's out there!
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 9
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 10:43:31 AM
True love is possible at any age. There is no expiration date.



Been divorced 5 yrs and in and out of short relationships..



Been searching for something real and longterm..


I'm not trying to beat up on you here, but let's add everything up:

You say you are very picky.
You have been searching for something real and long-term.
You have been in and out of short relationships since your divorce.

So what picky criteria are you using to pick the guys you have picked, that are not working out into a long-term relationship? Apparently you need to be looking at some other aspect of them if you are to be successful in finding your long-term relationship.
 funnershine
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 10
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 10:43:47 AM

I just wonder if there is anyone besides myself who actually wants more with just one person..


Just my advice for starters I would adjust my age range if I was you. I doubt any 33 year old would be interested in a long term relationship with you..
 Stubidoo
Joined: 9/16/2012
Msg: 11
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 10:46:56 AM

I just wonder if there is anyone besides myself who actually wants more with just one person

The answer to this is undoubtedly yes. There are a lot of us looking for a meaningful relationship and that one person that will be our last "first date". You'll find him.. and if you can't, give me a call :)
 1forluv
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 12
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 10:55:50 AM
The short relationships i was in the men were abusive..My ex hubby was never abusive and im looking for someone who does not hold allot of anger..Thats what im looking for! Thats what makes me so picky, I meet someone and they are mean but they come off nice at 1st then change..I would rather not be in one if that is the case..
 Stubidoo
Joined: 9/16/2012
Msg: 13
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 11:13:09 AM

looking for someone who does not hold allot of anger..Thats what im looking for! Thats what makes me so picky

This does not make you "picky" and I don't know why you are running into this as "most men" are simply not like that.
 1forluv
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 14
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 11:37:37 AM
Maybe not most men but the men I meet sure seem to be..I have met some really great guys too but it just was not in the cards for us..I know this may sound bad but i want what I once had with my ex husband..I dont want him but the feeling of everything we shared together...It was so comfortable and seemed so easy now when Im with someone I feel like everything I do is under the scope when I know in my heart im a good person and only want to be trusted cause i am trust worthy but no one can seem to trust..Ok should not say no one but I think you get the picture..
 Abbeygirl58
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 15
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 11:38:59 AM
Dear 1forluv:

I could have written that post as I feel the same way. Sexy, attractive older women don't have any problem meeting men, getting dates or finding men that want to have sex with them but it is not so easy to find men that want a long term committed relationship for a very wide variety of reasons.....Also, we are in our prime and great sex is high up on our priority list...however, I do agree with the posts that your photos are too sexy and you are going to attract the wrong kind of men. You are so beautiful and so young looking for your age you are always going to have those kind of men interested in you. If you want to meet mature, successful, serious men of integrity take all those great features most women your age don't have and use them to your advantage....think Audrey Hepburn!!! Best of luck in your search!!!
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 16
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 11:40:45 AM
then let me again suggest you post pictures that show you sweet side and your domesticated side, not your wild side. We all like women who are wild in the bedroom, but speaking for myself, women who are too ostentatious about their looks in a public manner is a real turnoff to me. Not that I wouldn't jump into bed with you, but with how you portray yourself in these photos, I wouldn't be bringing you home to meet mom. You are good looking and you can show your good looking self in a much classier way imho.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 17
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History
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 1:36:10 PM
1for.. you are getting some great advise here. If you keep doing what you have always done, you will get what you always got.
Give it a try, what have you got to lose? Lighten up on the sexy pics and post more of who you are in your heart. People see through a lot and if you want men that have a brain and heart, don't ask them to think with their d*ck first.
 1forluv
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 18
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 1:41:10 PM
Thank you and I do accept your critisism, Im still learning and with this recent relationship it has made me look a lil deeper into what is best for me..
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 19
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 3:09:46 PM

..I know this may sound bad but i want what I once had with my ex husband..I dont want him but the feeling of everything we shared together...It was so comfortable and seemed so easy now


I think we all want that feeling of security and solidness that we get from stable relationships. And sometimes in our haste to get that safe feeling back again, we project our needs upon the next person who comes along. And expect them to fulfill our needs. Sort of a 'plug in the person' and everything will be alright again.

Kind of like after a spouse dies, and well meaning friends tell you what you need is a dog. As if a dog will replace a loved spouse.

Only time spent together gets two people to that comfortable and easy place.

Hang in there, OP<
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 20
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 3:39:17 PM
You are just choosing the wrong guys.
Keep looking and stick to your guns.
You are plenty attractive so should have
plenty of choices.

Love can happen at any age.
But not if we get discouraged.
You will learn from past mistakes.
You be more cautious with future guy interaction.
and choose a winner.

good luck.
 prettypuffer
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 21
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 3:46:22 PM
Love can come at any age and you are attractive and really young in this day and age. As for committed relationships I dont know that online connections are for that. However if it is meant to be, it will happen. With the advent of the internet men think they are spoiled for choice, and I guess some of them are. If you have young children that can complicate things, or financial problems. etc. Obviously none of the guys you met have been in love or you with them. Putting the pressure on to commit can turn them away.
 ForumsCreeper
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 22
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History
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 4:00:07 PM
Kinda made my head spin trying to keep up.

Here are my thoughts based on my 20+ years of marriage and doing the dating scene after and bouncing around from relationship to relationship.
In no specific order.
1) Take sometime off. Still randomly/casually date but put relationship out of your mind for 1 year and dont fall for someone easily.
2) I hear the talk of both men and women, wont settle, its all about my needs blah bla you will get over this if you allow yourself to become you.
3) You want you had with the ex? Dont try to compare, it will never be the same with others.
4) Become comfortable with yourself and you will be surprised what comes to you and your emotionally ready for it but after that long in a relationship, you need a year at least.
5) If you want sex, have it but dont have it with intent of a relationship right away.
6) Your attractive and you know it so getting the attention wont be hard, getting the right attention will take some time.
7) AND, your in Fargo :) the pickins might be a little slimmer there.
8) A young guy is not your answer. Your at different stages of life. Might be nice to have the you hottie but if you want similar to what you had, i would sat within a few years eather way.

(shrug) my thoughts.

Good luck
 MrOogam
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 23
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 4:15:29 PM
Hi 1for;
Your profile seems very genuine, you state your preferences, what you like, seem to know yourself & personality. I especially liked the slow to anger & believer in God part. That your family oriented,loving, devoted, not in to the bar scene,, unless it is a night out with your partner. You seem to be very grounded in you principles, morals, & boundries that guied your life, THAT IS A GOOD THING. Your dress is not nearly as provocative as some have mentioned( besides it is kinna tuff to dress provocative much of the yr. with the weather in Fargo, it gets darn right cold in N.D., lol ), yet it suits everything you stated about yourself & your personality, & is still attractive. You know what makes you happy, feel secure & comfortable. That you like life to be on the light hearted side & want to enjoy your partners company, this is also a good thing, & nice to see it in a female profile with out appearing to emphasize the materialistic side of life that so often seem to be so glaringly evident in many of the womens profiles, so you get the "ATTA GIRL OF THE DAY", from me just for that ;). Wish there were more profiles & women like yourself in the Salem area to be honest. But even with 5 yrs. of being single it takes time to get yourself re centered as to who you are again. What you remember who you were before & in the marriage, has changed some from both experience & maturity. Priorities have changed. It takes dates, alone time, frustration with those dates & oneself...lots of prayer & introspection.... it can be a bit of a twisting or curvy path at times. You may like a certian person, but yet know prob. would not mesh with kids or other family members, & they in my opinion have to given a great deal of consideration into the situation as well... no one wants a partner that eventually causes striff with in the family.... Stick you what you know, that you know, the morals, principles that have guieded you so far in life, when the right one will comes along, you'll both know it, be much happier for it, & if not you will still have peace & contentment in your heart, avoiding alot of drama & bs. The way I see it that man will be quite a lucky guy... best wishes....
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 24
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How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 4:51:48 PM
I like to come here for cyber companionship reading others thoughts, I believe it’s possible to fall in love at any age.
It’s also easy to become addicted to the safety of cyber solitude to never really put your heart on the line again.

If you’re emotionally ready it’ll happen, maybe someday it might be my turn again.
 YourBrandNewGuy
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 25
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 4:52:38 PM
In answer to your question, yes of course they do. I am hard wired to want that special person and keep her for life. Most men I've known feel the same, not all, but very much the majority.
If short term relationships of yours didn't work out it doesn't mean it's because men like short term relationships.
Finding the right person is very difficult, relationship dynamics are very complex.
I will only go for the type of relationship where both are totally into each other.
Long term is the end product of chemistry.
You could easily be a cougar but for long term guys 5 years older than you won't let you go once they have you.
You could have your pick so why not pick a winner.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?