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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?      Home login  
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 moon_breeze
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 1
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
My aunt was telling me that she won't put out for a few dates, but will let a man give her oral. She says she wants to test out their skills before going any further. I told her it was still being easy and gave her a bunch of crap about it.

So guys, if a woman let you go down on her on a 2nd date, but didn't go all the way (maybe went down on you, but maybe not) would this be the same as if you'd had intercourse? As in, would you think her just as easy, would you think she was selfish, or maybe be intrigued?

So far the guys she's done this with seem to keep coming around and often get a little obsessed, so maybe they don't lose respect for her. What really makes me curious is that I couldn't find much about women receiving oral early in dating anywhere on google but found TONS about women giving head on the first couple dates. So is there a stigma to women receiving oral? And how would you react if that was the only thing offered at first?
 ImSoFancy
Joined: 8/16/2012
Msg: 2
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 4:19:14 PM
Not slutty, not selfish. I see nothing wrong with the situation as I've done it a few times myself. They do always come back.
 Stubidoo
Joined: 9/16/2012
Msg: 3
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 4:22:47 PM

if a woman let you go down on her on a 2nd date, but didn't go all the way (maybe went down on you, but maybe not) would this be the same as if you'd had intercourse? As in, would you think her just as easy

No, it is not the same as intercourse and no, I would not think her easy. In fact, this happens more than you think with women who want to "wait" for intercourse but still want intimacy.
 Slate56
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 4
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 4:31:56 PM
Not sure why women seem to think men would lose respect for them if they share intimacy with them on any level?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 5
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Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 4:55:54 PM
I see absolutely no difference in "intimacy levels" when it comes to sexual acts. I don't give a dayum what Clinton said......oral sex is sex.......hence the "sex" part of the term!!
If I'm going to trust a man enough for him to put his mouth on my genitals, I'm going to trust him enough to have intercourse.
So this makes no sense to me.

Personally, once I get the lickin'.....I want the****n'.....so while I don't agree with Abe's ^ reasonings......I agree with his conclusion!
 seafoodandeatit
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 6
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Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 4:58:10 PM
first few dates, if wanted to build on that then yes its a bit fast. being older person
I wouldnt even try before the first say..... 5 dates..?
and if she wanted to give me a blow job on the first or second date then it would just be an easy root next.
you have to remember few men will say no to a blow job.
And as for me i would be just as happy if i meet a girl who "only" wanted oral sex, as long as she was good at blow jobs as i would be eating her.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 4:58:34 PM
I've never appreciated the logic of it myself. Intimate is intimate.

Granted, I would recognize that I wasn't a fully accepted lover, if the woman restricted me to only certain segments of her body, but once the line is crossed into naked contact with genitalia, I call it sex.

I've heard often, that the latest fad in the current teen generation, is for girls to give oral sex to guys all the time, while preserving coitus for some future special guy. When I was young, the opposite was true.

Frankly, if a woman tells me that she blows everyone else, but that I'm special so I get to penis to vagina contact, I really can't say that I would feel honored (or even interested). I'm the fuddy-duddy type I guess.

I think it ought to be pointed out that a guy can "keep coming around and often get a little obsessed," without ever giving a damn about the person or thing he is obsessed with. Heck, there are guys who actually get off more on sexual contact with women they DON'T give a crap about, than those they do. I've known women like that too. It has NOTHING to do with "respect."

All in all, I guess my vote is along the lines of "eeeeaaah, whatever."
 primeb
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 8
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 5:00:43 PM
I see nothing wrong with a woman wanting oral. I believe it is like the forbidden fruit and many woman absolutely go nuts if it is done right.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 9
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 5:01:21 PM

I see absolutely no difference in "intimacy levels" when it comes to sexual acts. I don't give a dayum what Clinton said......oral sex is sex.......hence the "sex" part of the term!!


I agree with MsMicki.
I don't really get this concept of oral within a few dates.
How about we get to know each other first.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 10
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 5:05:10 PM
Hmm...interesting. Oral is more intimate to me than intercourse, so it wouldn't be a test-drive I'd be willing to hand the keys over to every potential driver. Also, I think 'driving' techniques are capable of being improved upon, or focused on, so a test drive really isn't necessary.

As far as respect, I can't see how you would tip the scales of respect in either direction. Oral is for good girls? and intercourse is for bad ones?
 Bigcalm
Joined: 11/4/2012
Msg: 11
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 5:08:09 PM
If I eat your **** I want to ****. Once this happens is sex.

It's just oral at first site.
 clayart
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 12
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 5:51:18 PM

I've never gotten a woman that far undressed who didn't have sex with me, so I'd be willing to take my chances. If she's stopping there, the guys were clueless about what they were doing.


What he said.


If they didn't do it well enough to make you want to go the rest of the way, why would you want them to come back?


What he asked.


I've never appreciated the logic of it myself. Intimate is intimate


Agree.

Thanks guys !
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 13
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 6:39:03 PM
There's no stigmas attached to women receiving oral- most simply do not ASK for it, and I feel that a lot of men are selfish lovers ( at least until they mature) and don't offer it, but they are willing to receive it.

I wish this archaic nonsense would stop. How do we ever evolve past this 1950's ( 1850's?) mentality toward dating if we don't behave as mature adults? Although I don't agree with your aunt's way of going about it, I applaud her for being up front about what she wants and telling the guy that she wants oral. It's her body to do with as she pleases. She should be able to have oral, intercourse, you name it and not be thought of in any way whatsoever if she's with a mature partner.
 RuggedBrotha
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 14
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Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 6:47:58 PM
A man wants the shortest path to real raw sex. Only a **** wou;d only go to 2nd base. A real man would just leave. But Ill tell you what .... If Brad Pitt were in her presence, shed give the hole up! Shes playin the guys... Makin fools ovem.. If she met me shed me in bed with me within 30 minutes. No chicks gonna play bullcrap with me.

This is how a man thinks.
 wolftxusa1966
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 15
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 8:29:53 PM

if a woman let you go down on her

Here is what bothers me about the question, it's like asking 'if a unicorn came by, would you ride it?':
In Boolean logic, any conclusion from a false statement is by definition true (and therefore does not add any information).

A woman doesn't LET me go down. We mutually get to the point where that is what we decide to do. Or not. We both have to want it. Consent is a Boolean AND, therefore it only takes one to not make it happen. If she doesn't want more, more doesn't happen (look, another unicorn). The only reason I can think of why she wouldn't is a power trip, because I have to yet meet a woman who doesn't WANT more.

If a woman says 'no' too often, especially if it's power-driven, at some point she loses my interest and I start saying 'no'. For good.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 16
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Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 9:27:50 PM
MsMicki astoundingly wrote:
I see absolutely no difference in "intimacy levels" when it comes to sexual acts. I don't give a dayum what Clinton said......oral sex is sex.......hence the "sex" part of the term!!
If I'm going to trust a man enough for him to put his mouth on my genitals, I'm going to trust him enough to have intercourse.
So this makes no sense to me.


Well, I'm beginning to think the Inca correct that this might be the end (ya know, that whole 2012 thing); I agree, completely, with MsMicki. OK, I would change a few of the personal pronouns, but other than that ...

TK
[actually, I think I agreed with here once before.
hmm, lightning strikes twice?]
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 17
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Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 9:33:20 PM
It's okay TK......agreeing with me won't send ya to hell or anything!!
and yes, that makes twice!!
 _Meta_Man_
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 18
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 9:41:47 PM


Not sure why women seem to think men would lose respect for them if they share intimacy with them on any level?


I feel the same way. That doesn't make sense to me.

There is a conundrum this thread raises for me. When doing anything sexual/intimate(and I mean beyond kissing) on the first few dates, should the line you're drawing be talked about before the clothes go off? Honestly, there have been times I've felt like a tease because I felt comfortable going to some levels... but not going all the way. I normally don't see it as a problem but I've felt like it's made one or two guys feel let down. I mean, if it's only the second date, should I say, "I don't feel comfortable having sexual intercourse with you yet, but I wouldn't mind giving you a blowjob." I'm not opposed to talking about sex at all, but that just seems like it'd take the fun out of it.



Unfortunately what you are engaging in is a power and control game that is going to end in disrespect and negotiation of need fulfillment and never love even thought it may seem like it. If you want to suck a****because you enjoy it then go for it but don't do it because you like the guy because you are going to be sabotaging your relationship with him. At this stage of dating you should be more concerned with yourself and that you are finding someone who will be good to you not how you can please him.
 wolftxusa1966
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 19
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 10:39:10 PM
Minor correction to my last post: Women don't say 'no' because I don't ask. Somehow I have never heard or asked the question 'Do you want sex?'
(pardon the rust, I was in a relationship)
 moon_breeze
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 20
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/15/2012 10:49:02 PM
Although I was shocked when she told me, part of me was kind of intrigued-I'm not going to lie, a lot of men are BAD at it-which is why she mentioned her test or whatever.

It would be kind of nice to know if you're involved with someone who sucks at it, hates it-or loves it. She seems to find the guys that LOVE it more than sex and will just go and go like the energizer bunny before getting theirs... I seem to run into the ones that LOVE IT for like a month and then they just wanna go straight for the gold without the marathon most times lol.

And I've only ever had one guy who was AMAZING at it-and one that was semi decent-the rest were just meh. Some of them bragged about how good they were. I think us women are too nice about giving compliments on mediocre performance. I know I do too, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings lol.
 MazdaSpeed96
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 21
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/16/2012 3:36:19 AM
I think pleasuring a woman with your tongue is far mor important then going for the gold at first.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 22
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/16/2012 4:23:27 AM
My aunt was telling me that she won't put out for a few dates, but will let a man give her oral.


She's still "putting out"....lol


She says she wants to test out their skills before going any further.

Well...if a man's oral skills are important to her,why not?



I told her it was still being easy and gave her a bunch of crap about it.

Not sure that's your place to judge.And as a woman,perpetuating the stigma attached to being a woman and sexual is doing ALL women a disservice.

Why not just call her an "oral slut" while your at it?

Or better yet,worry about your own standards and leave others to thier own.
 TyrantofTyranny
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 23
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/16/2012 5:24:24 AM
I would ask her if I was her first coffee meet of the night.....
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 24
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/16/2012 5:28:34 AM
for me Oral is foreplay..and yes it is sex ..and If I ever did run across a woman that stopped me after oral ..I would demand an explanation ..and this whole certain number of dates before sex of any kind is just bull crap to me .. I have actually had sex within 10 minutes of meeting a woman ..one time ..and I didn't consider her a slut ..or not respect her It was chemistry gone wild as soon as our eyes met ..I wanted her and she wanted me and all that was required at that time was a place .. there were no questions to ask except where is the nearest hotel ... though a relationship didn't happen the sex sure did ..and it was wild and great ...I can fault her not ..I was there too ..she put out and I put out ..if she is a slut then I am a slut ..morals had nothing to do with it she was lonely and so was I ..and the chemistry took over

no how soon two people have sex ..is just that to me ..I don't believe that having sex before you know each others names is optimal in every case ...nor do I believe that setting a time frame is either ..and I don't subscribe to the old baseball cliche ...sex is not a series of bases one has to advance to in some order ..That is so Jr High school..but there are so many people in this dating game who never grow up.. in a bad way


Be young, be foolish, but be happy
Be young, be foolish, but be happy

Don't let the rain get you down, it's a waste of time
A waste of time
Have your fun, live everyday in the bright sunshine
The bright sunshine

Well it's the same old story all over the world
Girl meets boy, and boy meets girl

So be young, be foolish, but be happy
Be young, be foolish, but be happy

Don't let love slip away, slip away
Live your life for today, for today

Life is too short to worry about unimportant things
Unimportant things
Reach for the sky, touch your star, and then you find your dream
Find your dream

Cause dreamin' alone, it's a shame indeed
But if you got love that's all you need

So be young, be foolish, girl be happy
Be young, be foolish, girl stay happy
 Anal4you69
Joined: 5/20/2010
Msg: 25
Women receiving oral slutty/selfish?
Posted: 11/16/2012 6:04:58 AM
I have dated a few women in my time (I'm 43) and I have never had one ask me for oral. That being said, I have found that the older I get, the more women are willing to give me oral on a first date (without even asking.....).

Myself, I think that oral for either sex is something quite intimate and should be treated with respect.
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