Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why do women fall for players?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Why do women fall for players?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
If you read a number of womens profiles on here, many of them say "No players/playas". It would seem that many women have experience with players in the past. What is it about these personalities that draw women in while the nice guys come here and ask "what am I doing wrong?"
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 7/30/2005 3:03:09 PM
But I have heard nice guys use the same lines that the players use and it didn't work. Is it what is being said or how it is being said? What are the dynamics going on here?
 jackie34
Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 3
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 7/30/2005 6:15:34 PM
players have the sense of quality to make you think that you are going to have that house with the white picket fence with the two children and the dog.mean while they go out to work and have their secretary giving them blow jobs under the desk. they have that special quality or skill if you wish to make more than one person feeeled love at one time.
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 7/30/2005 10:26:48 PM
I kind of agree with Blastkist here. Nobody is defining a real player. Is it they are a player or is it that someone was naive enought to believe some B.S.'er??

I actually used to hang out with a guy who could get any womans attention anywhere. I have no idea why. He was about 6"4 and probably average looks at best. He didn't have any great lines, he just told them corny jokes, that would have got groans from anyone else. I literally saw woman chase this guy down throwing their phone numbers at him. His only intention in them was getting nookie, and he discarded the woman once he got it. I really never figured out how he did it but he had some kind of magnetism that drew women to him. If anyone was the Proverbial "player" it was this guy.
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 7/30/2005 11:04:12 PM
Because most men are a**holes.

What I don't understand is what women see in players that they don't see in nice guys. It's not like the appearance is really different. Nice guys can have muscles, tattoos, piercings, silky long hair, or a killer smile.

Maybe it's the money that players flash....not that I'm saying all women are gold-diggers.
Or maybe some women just want to hump a guy who they know won't take much effort to get in bed.
Or maybe it's the body language....the confidence. Who knows? Point is ladies....ditch the players....why do you think STD's are so rampant in today's society? Because people like that just don't care.
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 8/9/2005 8:43:41 PM
I think alot of men see that a woman is being played and wonder why the woman does not realize this. I am sure it works the other way as well.
 juanchito26
Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 7
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 1/13/2006 9:16:05 AM
I think the reason why women love players is because of several things:

1- Confidence: Women think that a confident man is someone worth their attention. Of course, a player fakes confidence but when the time comes to see what they are made off, they run away like deer. This is probably a very misunderstood concept and women need to seriously ask themselves why do they fall so easily in the "he has confidence" trap.

2- Talk: They say that a man gets crazy by what he sees in a woman. Well, women love to hear stuff and it turns them on. It is tied with the first point I made. However, just as players fake confidence, their words are fake. They tell women all these stories, and then they stab them hard and fast. Women should listen carefully and stop falling so much into the players' tricks. Anyway, women are always talking so they love small talk. She/he that talks too much says nothing....

3-Looks: Players are good looking guys. Ever seen an ugly overweight guy being a player? There might be, but they are few. Women think that, the best you look and take care of your outside appearance, the more confident you are, and thus you are worthy of their attention. BIG MISCONCEPTION HERE. Confidence is very ambiguous, and bad people pretend to have it to hurt others and steal from them as well. I know deadbeats that get women pregnant and dress very well, use cologne and all the other crap. Anyways, if you look at the issue closely, women are always suggesting to men to look like players, i.e, go to the gym, dress nicely, get a haircut, lose weight. Not that i am against any of this, it is just that the better you look, the more women will look at you. Unfortunately, the better you look the least likely you care about others' feelings because you can get anyone you want.

I know this is a little extensive, but a gun needs to have bullets to cause damage. Both men and women players have been taught by the very same people that complain about them to be just that: PLAYERS
 TheGoon
Joined: 12/6/2005
Msg: 8
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 1/31/2006 11:01:09 AM
I believe it's more about push/pull. the more you push the harder the other person is going to pull for acceptance. It's a natural sense of wanting to be wanted.

I'm not guilty of it anymore, but i had my days of being a player. I loved the game and played it well. But, to tell you the truth I think there is alot of truth behind the song lyrics "I'm not a player, I just crush a lot". For the most part "Players" are guys that tend to be emotional and show thier feelings better than others. However, as you grow older and seek out a life partner, you are more cautious about exposing your feelings too soon. You want to get to know the other person.

Trust me, what goes around comes around. There are some girls out there that could play me like a fiddle. One in particular that I'm thinking about right now. Initials KR.
 sundaesurprise
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 1/31/2006 11:32:10 AM
I asked the same thing in another forum. I have many female friends who always come crying about how the guy they're with is an ***hole but yet they still keep going after the same type of guy. My theory is that they are going after the persoanlity types they feel comfortable with because everyone is afraid to take a risk and step out of their comfort zone and try something new. Also a lot of these women don't know what it is like to be with someone who will treat them the way they deserve and when they do actually meet someone like that they don't hang around long enough to experience the goodness. That's just a theory.
 sundaesurprise
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 1/31/2006 12:07:04 PM
This is my first post in the forums so be gentle please. I just can't figure out why those of us who are nice guys but aren't always the best looking guys have to 99/100 times settle for second best. I know a lot of wonderful good looking women who constantly get hurt because they date the nice looking guys who are nothing but ***holes. Yet they keepo going back for more. Maybe if those of us who are nice guys start treating women like pieces of meat instead of with respect we might have better luck. I have met a few nice girls off of here or so I thought until I found all they were looking for was a sugar daddy or another man to take up another evening in there life. I've got news for ya ladies there are some of us out here who want women for more than just sex. Oh well, just thought I'd post this as it is really starting to get pretty depressing out here on POF.
 look in
Joined: 6/24/2005
Msg: 11
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 1/31/2006 1:43:45 PM
Because they offer fantasy.
 genngi
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 12
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 1/31/2006 3:13:25 PM

I have yet to get the definition of "what is a player" in another thread but it's not forthcoming for some odd reason...hmmm

I think people like to call anyone who isn't interested in them a player. Sounds like they got a little nookie out of her/him and perhaps some "treats" and then moved on...so now they have become "players".


Looks to me like you just defined "player" yourself! Someone who pretends to be interested so they can get some "nookie", and afterwards moves on, not interested. We fall for them because they are good at their game, lying and pretending to be whatever we say we are looking for. Once they have gotten what they really wanted, the nookie, they are bored and leave, having played yet another, and on to the next one.

If we have been played really well by one, or not as well by others, it makes us wise up, though, then we are less of an easy target. They lok for those who haven't been played and don't know their game.

Interestingly, though, it is due to players that we may appear "insecure" as some call it, about those other "games" people play in the dating world, as are discussed here so much. Why might we push someone away, give them the hot/cold treatment? maybe we have been played too often. Why do we not want to just wait for someone to call? Afraid they might be playing us. Players make us paranoid that everyone who seems nice and then exhibits some of those "player" qualities, might be a player.

This is why it really is best to not play any games at all, without worrying how you "seem". Just be you, be natural, real, and honest!
 genngi
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 13
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 1/31/2006 3:23:58 PM
Sagitarian musician ---

ditch the players??? Like women are with them by choice? No! They are played, because they don't know better. They are only responding to what appears to be positive attention from an apparently nice good-looking guy.

What's different about them? Probably overconfidence, the kind that comes with beign a completely selfish egotistical **stard! They are good at their game and they come off as very confident and may be rather aggressive. Nice guys will rather tend to be less sure of themselves, maybe shy even, the kind who are afraid to come up to a woman and say hi. It's like I always say... nice guys, don't be shy, come up and say hi! It works. We like that. Players know what we like and what works. So, having said this, I highly recommend that more nice guys come out of their shells and really come say hello, yes, to the cute gal in the grocery store or just walking down the street!
 sundaesurprise
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 1/31/2006 4:36:51 PM
genngi

They are only responding to what appears to be positive attention from an apparently nice good-looking guy.

Then again those are most of the guys who I know are players at least to most of the women I know. The nice good looking guys who are out for just one thing and generally get it then tos the women aside make it harder for those of us who do really want to make a go of a decent relationship with a woman. :rolling eyes:
 genngi
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 15
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 1/31/2006 5:00:02 PM
bigchili - totally agree... feel like I finally figured this one out
 thegreatrockyhill
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 16
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 1/31/2006 7:21:42 PM

The only real secret to getting (and keeping) women is no secret at all and it has worked without fail for millenia: become that man who's powerful, well-educated, well-versed and has travelled a bit, has good financial security and be confident and able to protect and provide for your woman and you will not only be able to lure them in but KEEP them in


Yeah, but how many men have all that? I mean, come on. So you have to be James Bond.


I think that players know which kinds of women to go for. They go for women that have low self-esteem and are gullible.
 justteazincandy
Joined: 1/26/2006
Msg: 17
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 2/9/2006 4:10:03 PM
because the players know what they're doing, so they say/do the right things.
 juanchito26
Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 18
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 2/10/2006 1:21:25 PM
When women are young, all they care about is looks. They are competitive among other women, so having a good looking, tall and fit guy is very important to them so they can shove it in their female friends' face. Go to a place where young girls hang out, and you will see what I mean....But most good looking guys have their act very well rehearsed. They are actors who know how to pray on the weak female points, not to mention that most (young)women drool for the tall guys with money while short and fat guys get the kick in the a**.

When a woman gets to a certain age, some of them keep stepping on the same stone and tripping over and over (dating players/good-looking tall guys) but since they have such bad experiences with these types of guys, and since their head is so messed up with the BS players have been giving them through the years, then they begin to look for the inside of the guy rather than the outside. There are many true stories of guys who were good guys and wanted a girl, but she turned them down repeatedly for the players. Years later, when life experiences have made them realize that looks and appearance is nothing, then they go crying to the nice guys they rejected in the first place, but by then, those guys are happy with someone else and there is the woman: rejected, hurt, lonely and wishing to go back in time so she could reverse the whole reel of her life to the beginning and replay it all.

But time does not forgive and does not go back....
 livewirehere
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 19
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 2/10/2006 1:25:17 PM
I think a woman becomes "conditioned" after she's been with a few guys that have treated her this way. Then, it's just like abuse, a vicious cycle that's often hard to break.. But---it can be done when you learn what you'll tolerate and learn what you absolutely will not accept, even it if means being alone~~~Gotta love us, huh>?
 ordog
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 20
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 2/10/2006 10:54:35 PM
I kind of object to all the advice that nice guys should just be themselves and women will flock to them. One guy said nice guys should be "dynamic". I'm sorry this just doesn't work. Show me a nice guy who's turned it around and I'll beleive this is about anything other than looks. As for things like "nice guys are spineless" this all appears from some store of common wisdom everyone subscribes to. Why not give an actual practical example? in what possible conversation with a women are you expected to have a spine, and how on earth can you "be yourself" or "dynamic" while artaficially setting standards of bravery for yourself? What is a women going to say " hey want to go base jumping?" and then she dates someone else because you said no? Where do you think the afformentioned spinelessness come from anyway? no one seems to talk about the deep rooted feeling of unworthyness and depression resulting for years of rejection. If you beat a person down repeatly- eventually that person will find it easier to stay in that position. I've known many "nice guy" types who are extremeley confident individuals, even when it comes to women- and it doesn't seem to make a whole lot of difference.
I think women date players because players fit into the hollywood fantasy of what men are. some women desperatley want to beleive men are strong savior figures with a witty report and a take no shit atitude. They hate to see men as what they are- humans just the same as them, just as vulnerable, just as pathetic. More often than not women see what they want. It's much easier to project your dreams about somone charismatic than someone who is less successful, less confident. I think most everyone has a picture in their head of what their perspective mate is supposed to look like and women, being essentially those who choose wether the relationship will exist or not are in the position to guide themselves by those feelings.
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 21
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 2/11/2006 1:00:10 AM
Look at what you are all doing here. These people are not "players", they are hunters, preditors, thiefs. By even the fact that we under value their labeling, we are in fact excusing them of their actions.....pfft.

Now why would we do that I ask you all? Some would contend because men are still in control of how images are propogated, how labels are assigned in our society. Others might argue that women inherently seek out the bad boys of misfortune, enjoy flirting with danger until they become yet another victim.

I don't know the right answer, but please...lets stop calling them something so polite and gentle as players. Call them what they really are...maybe it might sink in just a little better.

Just my two cents,

Bana-dito
 bobslink2u
Joined: 4/16/2005
Msg: 22
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 2/12/2006 7:33:42 PM
You are hitting it right on the head....but I felt the pain there.
We chose and we lose.

Last year I got out of a 29 year mistake and got blasted back to the seventies,
It was a spiritual trip down memory Lane.

Found out the Righteous girls had mostly lost it and now the one they snubbed was the one that they wanted in the long run.

So they are back to reading Harlequin romances and dreaming of White Knights.

Best wishes to all. I have found an eternal partner in the West.

Love you all
BOB B.
 livewirehere
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 23
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 2/13/2006 11:45:14 AM
Hey, they're pros at what they do.. They know just what questions to ask or how to "watch" someone, and then they know exactly what to say to "snag" you...

I never take anybody seriously when I first meet them; or even the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time... Although I can usually tell during the first meeting if someone is "full of it"~
 MDNinja
Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 24
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 2/13/2006 1:23:19 PM
For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. Players know how to cause emotional/biological reactions in a woman. Now you can all just go home and cry about it, or you can develope the nesiscary skills to actually attract a woman.
 juanchito26
Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 25
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 2/13/2006 2:53:16 PM
[Posted By: JustAndy on 2/13/2006 4:05:19 PM
Subject: Why do women fall for players?
Message: It's very simple; women fall for players because of their own ego.

They think "he's treated women badly before, but I'm so special that he'll change for me".

And of course, he doesn't. And then the woman in question swears that all men are evil, decides never to date again - and the rest of us are stuck on our own in an ever-decreasing dating pool]

Andy, you are right. Women think they can change men with their charm and beauty, but that is not the way it is.
The looks department matter to them more than we think we know. (think why they spend so much time telling their boyfriends how to dress so they can look good with them when they are out on the street) so when the players has played them on, they become heartbroken and lump all men into the "they are dogs" category....
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why do women fall for players?