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 SexyWantsItAll
Joined: 9/10/2012
Msg: 1
In a Relationship and still being on POFPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
So if your dating someone for over 10 months, do you think it is time to delete your POF profile? What is the need for it? Why would you keep it? Are the guy and girl still playing games? I don't get it. What's your take?
 number_one
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 2
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 3:29:26 PM
Yes, they should delete their profiles if they have dated 10 months. either that or break up. If they feel a need to cling onto POF then that relationship will suffer. Best to part ways and get on with you life. Find someone more compatible. Try numerology next time. Numerology is a tool which tells you if you are compatible or not. Save a heart break on down the road.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 3
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 3:29:38 PM
I use the forums here so no, I wouldn't necessarily delete my account. After 10 months though, I would certainly change my profile to reflect that I wasn't looking and that I was here for the forums only.

I guess my view is that if someone was the type to play games and fool around, then they are going to do that regardless of whether they have an account on a dating site.

It's about being up front and honest vs sneaky and deceptive.

 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 4
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In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 3:34:07 PM
I'm going to ask the obvious (although heaven knows why I should care)
If you are in a 10 month relationship, why did you create an account 2 months ago?

If you are not asking about yourself, why do YOU care about someone elses relationship?
 GenJayne
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 5
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 3:35:15 PM
Why? I wouldn't care. If I didn't trust him I wouldn't see him anymore. If I was worried about others it would not just be women on a dating site. I would worry wherever he was and I don't think a relationship is worth that kind of investment. There is nothing to invest if you can not trust.
 Bella_RF
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 6
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 3:53:17 PM
While some say they are on for the "forums" if you have a gf/bf or are living with them, if they can't have the respect for you to say on their profile "In a relationship, on here to comment in the forums" it's time to move on!

Some talk about trust, you would trust your partner who has a profile that says they are still single and looking for a relationship while with you? Reality check!
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 7
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In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 3:53:19 PM
This question has been asked and answered before, and it turns out that some people think profiles should be deleted by the second date, some people don't care if it never gets deleted. It's all very individualistic.
 Inflated_ego
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 8
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 3:56:48 PM
I do out of respect. Who wants to be on here all the time, lol. Seriously, I'm out of here as soon as I can be.
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 9
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 3:58:47 PM
I wouldnt delete my account because I enjoy using the forums, like Import said.

I was with a man for nearly two years (didnt meet him here) and I was still on here to speak to my friends both on and off the forums. He didnt mind at all.

Having said that, I DID, however change my status to not looking and said such in my profile.
 toightpants
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 10
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:01:39 PM

So if your dating someone for over 10 months, do you think it is time to delete your POF profile?

If the relationship was healthy then after 10 months I'd probably have forgotten if either one of us still had a POF profile.


What is the need for it?

Who says there is a need for it?
Are they even using it or did they just ignore it and it's in the annals of POF "hasn't signed on in over a month" history.

Or are you coming on and checking their sign on history?
That would indicate issues more worth pursuing on a face to face basis than a POF account.
Then the POF account is simply a catalyst for you to actually communicate with the person you've been dating for 10 months.


Why would you keep it?

Same reason I'd "keep" 10 disposable yahoo email accounts.
Maybe after 10 months I forgot the password and simply don't care enough to try and retrieve it.


Are the guy and girl still playing games?

Maybe.
Maybe games are inherent to the relationship.
Maybe coming onto the forums and asking about it rather than talking to your hearts content with them about it constitutes a game.
 aussieblues
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 11
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In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:20:58 PM
Congrats on being together 10 months. I hope you continue to be happy.
This place offers the forums and an instant chat feature...kinda social networking...or anti-social networking sometimes.
You're asking the same old...If you're in a relationship, why be on POF at all any more.
 Inflated_ego
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 12
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:22:15 PM
To be deeper about it, see I have this thing where I am compelled to keep my word. If I am having sex with a woman, and she says I love you, and I say I love her then as far as I'm concerned that is the definition of marriage. People always say, you don't need a contract to be legally married. If you were the last male and female on earth and there was no preacher around or government to recognize your marriage it would be between the two you and God, if you believe in him. I can see the aftermath of people having sex and saying they love each other and not following through all over POF, myself included. I don't think I have ever told a woman I loved her and broke up with her. Once I say I love you, pretty much I hang in there until the police drag me away. If someone gives you their word, and then just breaks it off, whether it be a month, 3 months, 10 months, 10 years, that is pretty messed up. So, if I say I love a woman and she says she loves me, and we're having sex, then there's no reason for either of us to be on here again. If I want to use forums, there's forums everywhere on every topic under the sun.
 SexyWantsItAll
Joined: 9/10/2012
Msg: 13
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:30:55 PM
It's not me it's a friend of mine and I think it is weird for her to have a boyfriend and still be on here! Her profile still looks like she is looking for a man. And she is on here all the time! I just don't get it. Hopefully when I meet somone that I am really interested in and want to date exclusively I am out of here! She says they communicate through this website? I say why not just use other email or text or call? I find it very strange, but hey what do I know?
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 14
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 5:28:14 PM
^^Not enough to understand you view doesn't count. Maybe try keeping you nose out of other people's relationships would be the better thing.

Whatever reasons they have their accounts here, they don't have an issue with it, only you do. Guess what? You don't get a vote in their relationship. So what if it seems odd to you. You do what you need to in your relationship and leave others to determine what is right for them.
 GenJayne
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 15
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 6:23:00 PM


Tell him to change the status on his profile and see what he says. You may as well check up on his facebook too.
 msemeraldeyes73
Joined: 9/11/2012
Msg: 16
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 7:40:52 PM
OP - just say for the forums and to chat with friends i have met on here that I don't /haven't provided my info to for them to add me to FB. But I do indicate on my profile I am seeing someone and I hide my profile from coming up in meet me features. (well if the feature actually works the way it is suppose to) Either way it is an individual choice and a conversation best had between the 2 people.




Once I say I love you, pretty much I hang in there until the police drag me away.


SMH! wow..... sad, I seriously hope that was a joke. :(
 AJ2517
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 17
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 7:42:05 PM
There are lots of women on here that say they are only here for the forums but their profile reads differently......When I started a relationship earlier, I stayed on for a while with the forums only and I was sincere about that...But then I thought about it and got off of here...To each his/her own, that is how I felt...There are many other avenues that are not dating sites that you can discuss things...I do feel there are some that are genuine as far as their "motives" on here and only care about forums....Like I say, you know who you are!...And for the cheaters in here, you also know who you are.......But ya, 10 months?????...Come on now.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 18
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/26/2012 8:12:24 PM
I'm here for the forums.. it hasn't been that long yet.. but i want no one else.. and he knows and I offered to give him my sign on info.

Is there a problem with it??
 Inflated_ego
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 19
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/27/2012 8:13:57 AM
Yvune, He was setting up the exit strategy. Did you find out why he decided to quietly start working his way out of the relationship? Like did you confront him? Did he state his reasons?

Even though they say misery loves company, and I am about as single as it gets, with not even one prospect, besides the occasional woman living 2000 miles away who for some reason wants to try to have a relationship with me, I still get upset at seeing other relationship failures. I just wish people could stay together these days :(
 LipStickTommBoy
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 20
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/27/2012 8:18:35 AM
I am seeing someone, and I enjoy the Forums. He knows I am here - so what? If someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat. If you are that insecure, then no matter what you will always wonder.

Some people obviously still play games, it is what it is.
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 21
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In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/27/2012 12:50:43 PM
After passing the 3-date rule, both must delete profiles and remove computer from homes - that's where trust comes in to play.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 22
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In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/27/2012 1:12:04 PM
I don't delete my account, I also do not cheat, so if it's important to a man that I don't post on forums on a dating site, if he thinks of women as cheaters out to get him, if he doesn't trust me, then we are not going to be a match. Simple as that, you trust a person or you don't, you don't make commitments unless you know the person well and you trust them, anyone who has respect for you knows you well enough to know what kind of person you are. If you feel someone is being dishonest with you, then do not continue to date them.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 23
In a Relationship and still being on POF
Posted: 11/28/2012 6:26:12 AM
My take is to keep my profile here for the forums, and not going to delete it because of any relationship, but the profile should reflect that fact.
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