Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lhorns
Joined: 8/10/2010
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Not only is it NOT wrong, it would be appreciated. That way if it is a deal breaker for the guy, he doesn't waste his time. Yes, you are looking for a very small percentage of the population. A guy deserves to know that.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 4
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/6/2012 6:38:08 AM
Honestly, if at 27 years old you no longer have an interest in sex, I'd be going to a doctor. It is not usual for a 27 year old to have zero sex drive, and I'd be concerned (if it were me) that there could be an underlying physical or mental issue and not age, which is causing this decrease.

While companionship is most certainly an important part of relationships, so is a willingness to show affection for your partner. This includes sex. There are few people who would be willing to enter into a relationship with someone who has no interest in having sex with them. Save for those people who are asexual (as perhaps you are if you have no interest in sex, though you speak as if you used to have an interest), most people are going to want to have sex with their SO. As such, if one's advances are constantly rebuffed, it takes a toll on one's self-esteem.

If you have no intention of going to a doctor to investigate why, at the young age of 27, you no longer have a sex drive, I think you OWE it to any potential partner to let him know that you have no interest so that he can determine for himself if he's willing to forgo sex for perhaps the rest of his life.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 9
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/6/2012 7:17:53 AM
27 and you are experiencing a low sex drive.
Hmmmm....
I would go to the doctor to see what's up.
This is not considered normal.

Most couples, and I say MOST enjoy a healthy happy sex drive.
Now there are individuals who don't, so find out exactly what the issue is.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/6/2012 1:48:20 PM
No, it's not wrong. But note as well, that is not wrong for them not to get in a relationship with you.

I wouldn't.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/6/2012 3:00:47 PM
Darlin',

While I concur with the others that at your age you ought to get a full endocrine workup to determine if your hormones are a bit off the curve, it is also possible that you are chemically normal and just a representative of the asexual extreme in human sexuality. It doesn't make you wrong or broke or ??? but it does mean your needs and desires are a bit out of the norm.
There are men out there that are as asexual or non-sexual as you. I don't envy them, less competition, but you will have to work to find them. Asexuals don't fit into the normal dating paradigm very well. Perhaps you could try searching online for groups who reach out to folk like yourself.
I wish you well, but I gotta tell ya, companionship is a poor substitute for sexually egalitarian relationship.

TK
[Glad OP had her age and photo up - thought it might have been a post by my son's mom. Companionship sucks!]
 TalkingPie
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/6/2012 4:52:16 PM
Wow, that is one depressing profile.

Until OP fixes her other issues - being excessively demanding, openly racist, uninteresting, unmotivated, lazy and overweight - the lack of sex drive is probably a good thing. No one will be coming around looking for any, anyway. Why would anyone with an income and/or any sort of prospects settle for this little? Bonus points for combining the demand for "keep[ing] an open mind" with the statement, "im stuck in my ways and im never going to change so dont try to change me."

Work on getting a lust for life, and maybe the lust for sex will come. Otherwise, maybe this is nature's way to try to clean up the gene pool a little.
 AlphonseO
Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/6/2012 5:58:59 PM
OP is it possible you recently over indulged in Wedding Cake??!! That has been know to kill a womens sex drive in my experiance.
 1osubuckeye
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/7/2012 7:15:44 AM

hi Im getting older and as I get older I have less and less interest in sex. Is it wrong to tell a guy you want to keep around right off the bat that you have no inerest in sex whats so ever? I Guess he wouldn't stick around right? I would still like a meaningfull relationship but for me relationships have just become less and less about sex and more and more about conpanionship.


Sounds fine. That's not really any different from what 100% of other women say when males interact with females at first.

The world would be a lot easier if females just had the sex drive of males. XD
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/7/2012 4:00:36 PM

Is it wrong to tell a guy you want to keep around right off the bat that you have no inerest in sex whats so ever?


Not only is it not wrong, it's probably a good idea so if it's important to him, you won't waste each other's time.
 seafoodandeatit
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/7/2012 6:10:08 PM
If i was to find a great woaman and there was to be no sex i would have to think about that, but if she was great i would hang around.
 milomason
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/8/2012 8:36:58 AM
Its it wrong to be honest,no its right,I'm older and 99 out of 100 times I'll take a good book before sex,or a nice conversation.Sex is built up in the media,so some old guy like me, should think,he's the same horny animal I was at 19,well I'm not and who cares!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/8/2012 9:35:33 AM

I take it you have not read the many, long, forums about "sex drive". Almost every woman who posted say they have an equal desire and drive. Of course I don't believe their BS, as being a male and experience has shown otherwise.


I'd say the "honesty" in that thread is equivalent to the "honesty" in the "Do Men Care About Women's Orgasms" and the "I Could Give Oral For Hours" threads!!
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/9/2012 9:24:31 PM
Now days, I just assume women are not interested in sex, at least not interested in sex with me. LOL
 benjameson68
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 40
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/10/2012 6:04:14 AM
it would be beneficial to the guy for you to tell him that you are no longer interested in sex that way he can move on to someone who does have interest
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 42
Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?
Posted: 12/10/2012 12:09:38 PM
Of course it is only fair to let the guy know what he is in for (or not in this case). But guess it will not be easy to find a guy in your age range who is interested in a sexless “relationship”.

On another note though, as many previous posters have mentioned, you should consider seeing a doctor, as zero interest in sex at your age may point to some underlying (health)issues
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Is it wrong to tell a guy right off the bat that you have no interest in sex?