Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 1
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?Page 1 of 1    
I work in a very male dominated business and I have no problem doing business with men but meeting a man to be in a relationship with seems to be impossible.

I always thought my success would be attractive to a man but my last boyfriend told me my work made me too masculine to him.

I was wondering??? I Do men prefer women to have certain occupations? In other words, do men like tough career women or girly homemaker women?
 Kohmelo
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/6/2012 8:57:05 PM
Personally I much prefer a woman with a job. I often see in profiles "full time mommy" followed by a description of their school age child... Note that I understand if they are preschool children, but once the kids are out of the house 6 or 7 hours a day, get a fukn job.
As for "tough career women", society has a funny way of making you think you need to prove something that you don't. Learn to turn the toughness on and off as needed.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 3
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/6/2012 9:20:46 PM
I don't care what a woman does for work. The only problem that I've had is that some women that I have met feel superior because they got that dream job, and feel that yours sucks eventhough you are working hard and making a living.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 4
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/6/2012 9:24:51 PM
I always thought my success would be attractive to a man but my last boyfriend told me my work made me too masculine to him.

When ending a relationship most people will find fault/reasons to shift most of the blame on the other. Some are clearly contrived and so obvious, that the partner was too { blank } for them all along...


I was wondering??? I Do men prefer women to have certain occupations? In other words, do men like tough career women or girly homemaker women?

Men can be very different, but many a man would like to feel that he is in control most of the time, and that the woman cares for him long-term in a nurturing sort of sweet feminine way.

If a woman has a strong dominant personality that may help her in a more masculine workplace role, then it may be harder for her to always switch to the sweet feminine/nurturing role at home.
 ForumsCreeper
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/6/2012 9:43:30 PM
Not at all. Unless they (man or woman actually) cop a holier than thou attitude because of the work/job.
Have a good job, enjoy it and do the best you can at it. But it doesnt make you who you really are.
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/6/2012 10:00:02 PM
Many men are defined by their job/career. In that case, yes, they would feel emasculated. Conversely, many men couldn't give two sh!ts, and consider their work nothing more than a means to an end to pay bills. In which case, they would have the same attitude towards your career and success level. Of course, there's a wide gray area in between those two poles.

The bigger question (that only you know the answer to) is, how is your attitude towards your career manifesting itself in your relationships? Are you trying to dominate every aspect? Does everything become a "my way or the highway" type of situation? That's not attractive whether you're male or female. That's usually not conducive to business negotiations as well. Where I work, we call people like that "fist pounders". They develop a reputation for making a lot of noise while producing few results based on coercion and intimidation tactics. I would hope this is not how you approach any relationship, business or personal.

Your last question implies that being a "girly homemaker" is somehow less respectable and requires less talent/skill than being a "tough career woman". Ever tried dealing with unruly children? I can tell you from experience that it's very similar to dealing with disgruntled contractors in claim disputes. =)

Both situations require a certain level of confidence, leadership, and unbiased/impartial level-headedness. In both cases, it is important to know the difference between being tough when it is called for, or being a "fist pounder" in an attempt to manipulate the other party's reaction.

Being a "tough career woman" doesn't have to affect your relationships, if you choose not to let it. My personal policy (though at times easier said than done), is to leave work at work. That includes not only the work itself, but related attitudes, mindsets, grievances, etc. Once I clock out, I try my best to do a memory dump of the last 8 hours, and go about that thing called living, which is what a career was originally intended to facilitate.

Good luck. =)
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 7
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/6/2012 10:30:37 PM
Thank you all for your input and opinion. Yes – I am and need to be tough in business. Very often, the “guys” see a small, middle age woman and think they can run all over me and steal my deals. I think I have a right to feel proud of my success and how well I take care of my clients. But true – my job doesn’t define who I am.

Sorry - I didn’t mean to demean “stay-home-moms”. I was a stay “stay-home-mom” myself for three years and nursed babies for four years, so I know a little bit about how really difficult and actually, in my opinion, much harder than going to work every day.

However, there seems to be a general consensus that I and other business women have a holier than thou, superior and unfeminine attitude. No matter how important a job a woman may have she must always still “know her place”, or men won’t like her.
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/6/2012 11:43:10 PM

Very often, the “guys” see a small, middle age woman and think they can run all over me and steal my deals.

I will admit, this still happens, and it is sad to see men act in such petty ways. In such cases, I would fully support a tough stance as a means of defense of your work. However, I still believe that adopting this methodology for your own personal relationships, as if the other person is the competition that you're trying to "one-up", will only lead to the same kind of stress and combative environment you have at work. I wouldn't want to come home to that, do you?


No matter how important a job a woman may have she must always still “know her place”, or men won’t like her.

I don't know where you got that from. "Your place" is defined by you. No one has attempted to tell you what you place should or shouldn't be (unless this is what ALL your previous partners or dates are doing????).

Also, I didn't state that you have a "holier than thou, superior and unfeminine attitude". I apologize if my questions implied that, but my goal was to get you to think carefully about your tone,gestures, and behaviors, and whether they are confrontational and negative. Again, no one here can know what you actually do, but you.

Whether or not you're liked is determined by your willingness to work WITH others and be able to put yourself in their shoes. This is not a male or female trait, this is just how to get work done IMO. It doesn't matter if you're male or female having a "holier than thou, superior attitude" is a sign of lacking respect for others, and being unwilling to compromise. That has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity. If you learned this attitude from like minded "alpha males" at your job, well, then ask yourself if that's the kind of person you would like to date or be in a relationship with. Someone who's self centered, always looking out for number one, treats everything as a tough guy competition, trying to "wheel and deal" everything to his advantage, etc? If you wouldn't like to deal with that, why would anyone else accept those traits from you? Do unto others, is all I'm saying.

It seems you're taking Theory X style management practices (which have been proven to be counter productive), and are trying to apply them to your personal life. That usually doesn't end well.

Good luck =)
 m1592
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 9
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/7/2012 1:55:42 AM
As long as you have a job, preferably something respectable. I think we're looking for someone that acts their age
 country331
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 10
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/7/2012 2:53:03 AM
Several things. I agree that it's not a problem if a woman holds a more traditionally male job, as long as she doesn't lose that feminine side (personal preference). I could care less if a woman holds a job such as that, but I like to know I'm involved with a woman at the end of the day. When we walk through the door, the careers stay in the office and we're on equal footing.

I also agree that it's personal preference. At the same time, there's that "hunter/gatherer" aspect where some men have a stronger need to be the bread winner and feel like they're in charge. Others are quite happy reversing roles, or letting each reach their earning potential whatever that may be.

Everyone is different. There are an equal number of women who want to feel provided for. There are those who are career oriented. It's compatibility. If your career bothers someone, they aren't for you.
 RonMcDon73
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 11
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/7/2012 3:43:27 AM
Start dating real men, not the ones that have allowed themselves to be programmed by society to become emasculated. Which has been a pet project of rabid American feminists for decades now and backed up by the sheeple mind controlling media.

Boils down to a man's self worth, if he doesn't have much or his employment defines him as a male, then he's a weakling who doesn't understand what being a male is about. How a man earning his pay being what defines him seems as silly to me as a guy thinking he's a good man by how well he keeps his trees in the yard pruned.

Also, leave the ball breaker attitude at work (if you already haven't, and you may think you have-but self perception isn't always accurate) There's no room for it in the relationship where a couple is supposed to be equal. This is a problem for a lot of couples where one of them has to be driven to compete at work. If you are keeping the 2 areas of your life separate as you should be, then it's all about the guy's insecurities. Be glad you're done with them because that would be a constant hassle anyways.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 12
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/7/2012 5:00:51 AM
Some ladies who have 'competitive' jobs seem to take that skill along with them into social occasions. I've noticed ladies who are in sales/advertising and are trained to look for nonverbal clues -- end up reading a bit 'too far' into what a guy may be thinking on a date, and even start putting 'words' in their mouth based on what they perceive. Guys are not as perceptive to those nonverbals, and it drives us crazy when women 'read into' what we are and assume things. Guys need to be given the opportunity to answer questions verbally, not just 'observed' to get the answer.

I met a lady at a holiday party last year who started off the conversation explaining everything she thought about my body language - that I was frustrated and didn't want to be there, that I didn't like the host very much, etc... as it turns out, my eyes were 'squinty' because my contact lenses were getting dry and I needed some eye drops - it had NOTHING to do with my attitude. Ladies, you NEED to ask questions to get answers. 'Assuming' makes an 'a$$' out of 'U' and 'Me'.
 jsyl87
Joined: 8/31/2012
Msg: 13
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/7/2012 7:30:42 AM
I definitely care what the person I am currently with does for work. Obviously I'd rather it be something they enjoy and not hear the negative side of work all the time. The money side of it means nothing at all; have it be I am making more $ than them or if they happen to do doing better off than I am.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 14
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/7/2012 8:27:22 AM
I've seen more than one of these threads started by women who are in sales of some type.
Sales= aggressive. If the man is not of the same mindset, it's not necessarily "masculinity" he is observing, but this aggressiveness. Someone more laid back may not click with you.
I disagree though that these women don't "define" themselves by these careers. They seem to relish it. Personally, its great you like your job, but I could care less "how well you treat your clients."
It basically boils down to type A vs. type B personalities. Type A's love sales. Type B's don't necessarily like Type A's.
 dartmouthjames
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 15
Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?
Posted: 12/7/2012 8:45:23 AM

Do men prefer women to have certain occupations?

I'd prefer she be doing something she truly loves, but I don't care much.

In other words, do men like tough career women or girly homemaker women?

Either or, assuming it doesn't negatively impact anything in the relationship.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Do Men Care What Women Do for a Living?