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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Can anyone give me some advice?      Home login  
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 Dezperado
Joined: 10/8/2012
Msg: 1
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Can anyone give me some advice?Page 1 of 1    
I am just wondering for girls around age 18 give care about what a guy like me has to offer, I am bigger, but intellgent, funny, kind, just a nice guy. My problem arises in tryin to spark conversation with girls I find attractive in person cause I am very shy. It seems to me when I look at what attracts almost every girl its guys who are thin, or well built, and are ussually**** in their approach, I on the other hand am 300 some lbs, 6' 2", shy, and find myself to not be very attractive despite some girls saying otherwise. I've always been "The great friend but not dateing matierial". I have no clue whats wrong with me, why girls see me like this, how to overcome my anxiety and shyness, or if girls in my age group (18ish) even care about the personality of the guy they date, or if their lookin for some built body to **** with. I am confused and tired of the heartache of beein alone all the time, please help me?
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 3
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Can anyone give me some advice?
Posted: 12/21/2012 8:05:06 PM

I know that you want to be a rapper - but, take the photo of you doing "gang sign language" off your profile
(or at least have the sense to crop your hand out).


I thought that he was trying to do that Vulcan (live long and prosper) greeting.
 Army_Guy_
Joined: 12/1/2012
Msg: 4
Can anyone give me some advice?
Posted: 12/21/2012 8:38:26 PM
Reminds me of my old Plt. Sgt and what he would have said. Wahh Wahh stop crying. Sorry couldnt resist. Ok I have a vision... A 6'2 man who has a few extra pounds but know's how to have a great time, doesn't give a hoot, and is trying out for football in the fall. I would say women love chunky tall guys more than short guys, but guess what? I'm short but I can attract a woman quite easily (real world dating) and I'm not great looking either! It's all about how you act, and if you act like you own the world women will respond! Women don't respond sexually to nice guys because attraction is natural and nature dominates all. It breaks down to nature and women instinctively are attracted to guys who can defend them aka the alpha male who doesn't give a crap. You won't get nowhere by being the nice guy. Create a profile that show's your positive qualities without any self pity nice guy bs and upload some good pics. Gangsta went out of style in 96 when tupac was shot.
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 5
Can anyone give me some advice?
Posted: 12/21/2012 10:39:41 PM
Gals 18 ish usually are just looking for fun and laughter, not really all the heavy emotional problems you are oozing. being a rapper who lives in the country, I don't even know what to make of that. maybe redo the profile thingy when you have it together more.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 7
Can anyone give me some advice?
Posted: 12/22/2012 4:07:54 AM
OP.. At your age do things to work on you.. Get fit for you. not anyone else.. Concentrate on what is going to set you up for the best future while enjoying your youth.

A guy in this up coming generation wanting to be a rapper is like a girl growing up wanting to be a princess.. I am guessing they see your profile and think here is just another one like the others, all cliche and no stand out.



At 18 typically all girls care about is a guy being big in the pants and wallet.


That's not limited to just At 18 around LA. At 28 or even 38 or more..little has changed.

There has been only about 1% exception to what follows and it is that 1% I like.

When I am serving in the National Guard it's... "thank you for what you do"... Think just PC politeness. Like "Hi how are you?" said in passing they really don't give a F how you are or about what you do. In regard to dating they are not interested. It is a giant contrast with my civilian life of a great career, clothes and Italian sports car.
 matt051177
Joined: 6/13/2010
Msg: 8
Can anyone give me some advice?
Posted: 12/22/2012 9:42:01 AM
Ditch the faggy hand signs, get LASIK, learn about proper diet, and hit a treadmill. Do all this and the confidence (and ladies) will follow.

It really is this simple, but it takes EFFORT. I hope you're not looking for some lazy silver bullet solution for your woes, because you're going to be disappointed.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 9
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Can anyone give me some advice?
Posted: 12/22/2012 9:59:11 AM
There are tons of girls on this site that fit your body category who are awesome people lamenting the same things you are. The hot girls on this site get so many contacts that you wouldn't even register. Dig deeper and find the ones who don't get as many messages.

Or take the advice of the above posters.
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 10
Can anyone give me some advice?
Posted: 12/25/2012 4:08:57 PM


I've always been "The great friend but not dateing matierial". I have no clue whats wrong with me, why girls see me like this, how to overcome my anxiety and shyness, or if girls in my age group (18ish) even care about the personality of the guy they date, or if their lookin for some built body to **** with....


Confidence is everything in dating.. I used to be in your position many moons ago... and then I discovered when I was at my biggest (before dropping 120lbs) that I was getting more attention from females. My job and increase in education was a big help in boosting SELF-CONFIDENCE so I cared less about what they thought...


My Point: While size WILL affect your prospects in dating, it also doesn't have to stop it...Most women are turned on by confidence...if you're a nice guy who's a softy then of course they are going to say you are only dating material... That's the difference maker.

Softy/Friend zone behavior: Calling her all the time - trying to please her and obey her every command - always hanging out and being her tag along buddy - passivity.

The fact that these girls are TALKING to you shows some symbol of INTEREST.. It's your job to raise it by being confident, having self-control, and taking the lead by asking her out..
 Asarat11
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 12
Can anyone give me some advice?
Posted: 12/26/2012 12:25:33 PM
Do you date bigger girls or are you only attracted to thin ones?

Why are you so large at such a young age, good lord man, get some exercise and eat better. It makes me horribly sad to see young people obese, I worry about your future. I think you would be amazed at your age how easy it is to drop pounds. Plus, getting out there and joining a gym or running group will get you exposed socially, which could lead to your meeting women.
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