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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Lame question but how do you flirt well?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 2
Lame question but how do you flirt well? Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Flirting is easy gentlemen.

Especially for handsome, intelligent men of the world like you.

Surely.

She says batting eyelids and dipping into a deep curstey with head bowed.

Head tilts up slightly with a sly smile and WINK.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 3
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 2:13:07 AM
In person and/or Online:
Eye contact and certain eye expressions...
Humour, but probably best to try and read what type of humour you can get away with...
Mysterious, complimentary, observant and consistent...
Bad spelling and grammar can be a crutch...
Do not use the flirt button here,lol...
Keep references to sexual acts away...
Be a great listener...
Uhmmm, all I can think of... :) <--Smiles work sometimes...
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 5:07:55 AM

Because it usually feels like I'm giving an interview.


Then stop doing that! If you are looking for a woman to date you treat her as a friend and as a romantic interest. Treating a woman like an interviewee subject always causes women to lose interest. First meets or the few email exchanges is where you should find out most of such information.

Beyond that start talking about topics and that is a way to discover different points of views without coming off like a list of questions.
 SunDevil29072
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 5
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 9:37:32 AM
OP, you might want to check out this article. Some of the stuff may be corny, but for the most part the jist is correct.

http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt
 NOCLOWNING
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 6
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 11:14:14 AM
Dont talk too much, get out and meet!! Dont talk about sex.
nhra1966, you are handsome!!! :)
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 8
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 2:25:29 PM
I didn't read any posts but what worked for me this last time - next time you are at a bar/nightclub, buy a drink for a woman. I was at a nightclub a few months ago and was at the bar ordering. The bartender brought my drink and told me that the man at the end of the bar paid for it. I went to thank him and invited him to come sit with me. We are still dating. It can be that simple.
If you are asking about online flirting, just be sincere and positive, without complimenting. Women know that if you compliment their looks, you are doing that with other women as well. Obviously you think she is attractive if you are messaging her. You are young and in a college town, so I would highly recommend you only use POF as a back-up - meet girls IRL.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 9
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 2:52:27 PM
flirting is when you give a particular someone extra attention you wouldn't give to other people in the room, b/c that person got YOUR attention. you might mention what it is that got your attention, but not in a way that demeans them/makes them less human, more a collection of body parts. a woman interested in you, isn't so impressed with the statement, "nice rack", but may love to hear that you are distracted by what she has. it makes her feel special compared to other people who get less of your interest.

its better to focus on her characteristics that make you want to date her, before you begin commenting on what makes you want to sleep with her. but as other people posted, you can't make someone feel or think what they don't want to feel or think. one word answers are typically a sign of lack of interest, therefore commitment, or a sign that someone just ain't got much to offer and want you to do all the heavy lifting for them.

double entrendres is where you can find the fun. its a sign you can think of a joke with two meanings, and that you expect the other person to get it. part of flirting is the intimacy of knowing the other person well enough to know what works, and what is a line to not cross.

carefree comes from knowing you are preaching to the proverbial choir. if you know you are being received well, then flirting is free of care--you know you aren't upsetting the other person when the two of you are in public and can't act out what you both feel, but you can let your words express the energy you feel.
 rhonda333
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 10
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 3:12:55 PM
Intelligent good humor! Almost all women appreciate wit- and when its coupled with humor it really charming. How unusual it is to find this combination in the usual bar scene. Not impossible, but unusual.
 SunDevil29072
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 11
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 5:39:53 PM

The article does clear up the online/messaging aspect of it, but I was always told not to compliment too early or too much as it makes you seem clingy.


OP, I do not think that the article is saying that you turn into Eddie Haskel. (Knowing your age and just in case that you don't know, Eddie Haskel was a character in a show that compliments Beaver's mother AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY ... to the point of the running gag was that it was creepy.)

The point is that if you not an interest of hers that you really think is excellent, then bring it up. She's not a mind reader, and it shows that you really are interested and that you care. If it seems like you are disinterested in everything she brings up, let me give you one piece of advice ... move on to the next woman. So ok ... she looks hot and seems to be your dreamgirl ... but do you really want to be in a relationship where every time you're doing one of her interest you feel like you're some recipient of some sort of Turkish torture technique? Like is too short for that ... but that is just my opinion.

Profess the things that you really like about her, and be sincere in what you mean. Just my experience over the last 30 years of dating (off and on) ... women can detect insincerity, and once she knows, it's lights out for your chances.

Does that help any?
 moonchildMN
Joined: 9/28/2012
Msg: 13
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 6:46:01 PM
Flirting can be a little over-rated, especially if a guy comes on too thick.
Personally, look me in the eyes and smile and I'm all yours.
 Tek_Savvy
Joined: 10/13/2012
Msg: 14
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 7:41:04 PM

Not going to waste my money on something that probably doesn't work. I would much rather spend the 5 bucks for a beer on myself instead of a chick that sees it as an opportunity to use me.


It rarely works anyways because it shows the guy has no balls. It's what nice guys try to do to talk to a woman. Besides trying to pick up a woman at a night club is pathetic unless all you want is to get laid.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 7:43:01 PM
There are plenty of personality types and many types of conversation styles. It may help to read up online about them, maybe just look for tips on dating. Mostly its not a lot of trouble to encourage women to lead the conversation simply by providing a few inroads towards current topics as they run out of steam. For most I suppose. Its vapid but can lead to good places.

Have something in your profile to give them something to lift from. Captions that lead. Things that you're doing that are bad,. good, boring or easy--- photos from your worst job.

Have opinions that aren't set in concrete. Enjoy chatting about something without expressing your knowledge, unless its deep, sure and succinct.

As for simply flirting- its probably best to become conversational first. Allow others to work with you in a conversation. That can become flirting as they like. Its not easy to force it.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 16
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/23/2012 10:13:21 PM
As an old guy,
I don't think anything I say to ladies
would be useful to you.

however, if I flirt with a woman....
I do so.
Indifferent to how she reacts.
some may giggle.
some may not.

That is not important.
What is...
is that I be he same whatever.
That allows a woman to be honest in my presence.
as I am in hers.
It breaks the ice.... and if compatible...we'll giggle together.
If not compatible...we may still giggle.
but not together.
no awkwardness either way.
Kindof fun...either way.
for both of us(either way)

The goal of flirting is not to woo a girl..not attracted to you...
That is impossible.
But to create a space for you to interact with one that is.
We each have our own style.
I joke and cut up some.
Others may smolder and be all serious about it.

Just be honest in how you are.
Present yourself as such...relaxed.
Be indifferent to the results.
and you'll do fine.
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 18
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/24/2012 7:55:08 AM
Not going to waste my money on something that probably doesn't work. I would much rather spend the 5 bucks for a beer on myself instead of a chick that sees it as an opportunity to use me.

There's that positive spirit! Geez OP, no wonder you are not doing well with meeting women. If you are so worried about your money that you can't buy a woman a drink, you have NO business dating anyway.
And for whoever above said something negative about meeting someone in a nightclub, do you think you'll do much better meeting someone in church? On POF? at work?
The man I met at the nightclub is the most stable man I have dated....but then again with my history, that isn't saying much.
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 20
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/24/2012 2:27:36 PM
Again, if buying a girl a drink, even if it - God-forbid be $8 - is too much for you, you should hold off on dating. I wouldn't suggest doing this for a girl who is with a group of girls, as that is sure rejection. Almost every night club that I go to, there are women that are there, sitting, willing, wanting to dance, wanting a guy to approach her. If you are more comfortable with the strip club/STD route, that is your choice. Just trying to give you suggestions based on what I observe and experience here in Sac.
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 22
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/24/2012 9:14:17 PM
NHRA -
I also think you are handsome.
And in the world of flirting.
Calling someone beautiful or handsome bears absolutely no corellation to reality.

There is a wonderful movie "Shallow Hal" Where he addresses a little girl from the burns unit "Hello Beautiful" And continues to do so after he realises her face is badly scarred. She is still beautiful.

I just spent Christmas Day at a free street party at the Wayside Chapel in Sydney.
I was flirting with men who are homeless, alone, destitute and gave one man a big hug after having a dance and told him he give good hugs.
His reply - sadly - I am out of practice.

I also gave loads of people shoulder and scalp massages and the flirting with men, women, gay, straight and most from the wrong side of the railway tracks.

The harmless flirting made the day so much more fun.

Flirting and reality do not have to match.
This is the beauty of flirting.
It is fun.
And never let the truth get in the way.

Merry Christmas.
 Tek_Savvy
Joined: 10/13/2012
Msg: 23
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/24/2012 11:16:14 PM
If you are more comfortable with the strip club/STD route, that is your choice. Just trying to give you suggestions based on what I observe and experience here in Sac.


Considering a night club is a meat market, there will be STD. I never seen 50 year old woman at a night club when I was a kid.

Considering FairOaksChick is still married I wouldn't take any relationship advice from her. :P
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 24
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/25/2012 12:27:07 AM
You really want to tangle with me Tek_Savvy??? You don't go out, you don't have a car, you don't socialize, you sound like you have little to no interest in women, and you think you are one to go to for relationship advice? Get a clue, get a life. I live in CA and yes, duh, there are many baby boomers in nightclubs. There are folks from age 21 to 80+. But You wouldn't know that because you don't leave your home to go out and meet people. You don't have to worry about STDs because you don't have interest in sex. Considering you are a loner who has no clue as to how to attract a woman, if that is even what you want, I don't think ANYONE should take relationship advice from you.
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 25
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/25/2012 1:45:25 AM
Wow.
Please people this is Christmas.
Peace and goodwill to all

and all that stuff.

Can we please be nice to each other.

Pretty please????
Pretty please????
Pretty please????
Pretty please????
Pretty please????
Pretty please????

 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 26
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/25/2012 6:19:30 AM
Yes, let's all have the spirit of baby Jesus today...

whose heart, no thought
whose tongue, no word
whose hand, no deed defiled
-Robert Southwell
 SunDevil29072
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 27
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/25/2012 5:38:19 PM
OP, I left that link, and provided some additional insight ... and after doing it, I felt like some sort of "operator" - but in a bad way, not a good way.

The thing is this ... flirting is like fishing. There is no real "universal" bait that will catch every fish in the ocean. Likewise, there is no universal flirting techniques that will work on every woman.

Honestly, I really can see how buying a drink would show interest to a woman. I've also have heard of stories where some women go with only a few dollars in their purse since they know for the entire night a sizeable population of the guys in the bar will buy them a drink. I'm thinking for such a woman the act of buying a drink is not so impressive. Does it mean that it is a bad strategy? Heck no ... it just means that it didn't work in that scenario.

The same thing would be to convey intelligence. I can see how it would work on some women, but there are those that would just like a "good ole country boy," and may be for them the intelligence angle doesn't work.

For some women, making eye contact would be flattering ... for others, depending on how it is done, it would just be down right creepy.

The only thing that really resonates to me across the board is to convey a positive outlook, and that goes for direct conversation and e-mail chat. To be able to convey a positive outlook, you've got to act positive, and that starts by having a positive outlook - you can do anything you put you mind to. The only one that comes to mind where the negative angle worked for them is Robert Smith from "The Cure."
 Asarat11
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 28
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/26/2012 2:49:45 PM
Sometimes the simplest of messages with the slightest innuendo are all it takes. You say you can be sarcastic, you can use that in flirting, not in a passive aggressive way, but in a teasing way. I liken flirting to the tease - it's meant to feel and be fun, and shouldn't be overly pushy or strong. Maybe pick one physical aspect of a woman's face that you really like and compliment her on that. You make think that's cliche, but a lot of women love to hear that they have something special or unique about them. Base it on what does sexually attract you to the person - just don't blurt out that she has hot lips and you want a bj. LOL!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 29
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/26/2012 3:01:39 PM

Keep conversation light
use eye contact
use any excuse to touch them when appropriate
smile in a non-creepy way
be playful
once you get the hang of it, you're on a roll...



Really?

Actually the above statement is right in the money. Really? Actually asking really also helps. It makes women talk more, but doing in a fun way, and with that non-creepy smile. Hehehe.

Think of the humor you have with your guy friends, now apply it to a girl. Just don't put them on a pedestal and and have fun. Really?
 jdchic
Joined: 9/12/2012
Msg: 30
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/26/2012 3:04:20 PM
I'm going to see if I can articulate something my friends and I have discussed a lot. It's something we call being "appropriately inappropriate". We've all agreed that without this, we lose interest in a guy no matter how hot/nice/whatever he is.

Being "appropriately inappropriate" involves saying or doing things that could otherwise be labeled as inappropriate. Usually its sexual in nature. The key to it though is not just to be inappropriate -- anyone can do that. Those people are called creepers and jackasses. The trick is to find the line and to be APPROPRIATELY inappropriate. If you do it appropriately, she doesn't feel her boundaries have been crossed, that you're a threat, or that she's been violated.

This means that when you're still building rapport with a girl, the comments are going to be very very small and non-threatening. The comments probably won't even be about her. They can be about something or someone entirely different.

Wow, I'm sucking at explaining this.

Nevermind. Google "cocky funny". Do that instead.
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 31
Lame question but how do you flirt well?
Posted: 12/26/2012 3:28:36 PM
Flirting should - in my opinion- be done with no alterior motive.
The same as a smile should be given.

I will also say that many people say on here they are sarcastic as if that is a good thing.
Not in my book.
I prerfer wit and cheekiness. Sarcasm can often be hurtful and said with malice.

To you men who have so much difficulty.. try without trying too hard.
Start with people you have no sexual interest in.

The old lady on the bus. To start just say good morning with a cheeky grin.
Move across the seat and offer her your spot.
Or just open your arm (like the models on a TV game show showing a prize) and offer her the seat and you choose another one.
And don't just do it to one person.
Try lots.

Try different things.

Open a door for a woman carrying parcels with a big cheeky smile, bow and say something like Merry Christmas M'lady.

Allow someone with only a few items in the supermarket to go ahead of you to the checkout.
And do it with a cheeky smile and either a bow or eye contact.

If you get a smile and eye contact back you have done it right.

Yes some people in a bad mood will grump.
Their loss.
But if you see that same grumpy person again. Do it again.
Amazing how being nice infuriates grumpy people. Great fun and to me turning a grumpy person into a smile is a challenge.

I talk to people in lifts and even get them to smile at me and converse.

Confidence is what is required.
So practice with all sorts of people.

So that you can learn how to judge that line of appropriateness.
If you step over the line.
Apologise and step back. Give the person more personal space.

Different people have a different area of personal space.
Some 6 feet some 6 inches is appropriate at different times.
If you go too far, step back about 4-6 feet. Watch the person and when you are far enough away they will relax.

If someone has a dog with them that can be a great way as well.
Always ask if you can pat the dog.
Again eye contact and a cheeky grin.

As previously said.
You want to build rapport.
And if you can get the other person to smile, excellent
Laugh even better.

We women love men who can make us laugh.

Good luck.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Lame question but how do you flirt well?