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 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 5
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Virgin seeking virginPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
You should really work on getting over your fear of what others will think. A good first place to start is to quit judging others. Why do this? Does it get you what you want? Would you rather be "right" than happy? It's weird to be human and so disconnected to what is real compared to what you allow your inner society to decide. This kind of living by rules, passing or failing, seeking kudos instead of real experiences just fills your brain with "empty calories". Get a life, not a role.
 joshsw
Joined: 12/14/2012
Msg: 8
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Virgin seeking virgin
Posted: 12/30/2012 3:02:50 PM
From my experience, you are probably better off not having your first time with a virgin. If you want to work things out together, at the same time its a nice sentiment, but in reality does it matter that much?

How many people are virgins? I wouldn't reject anybody purely because they aren't a virgin. You have closed your net massively, and very few people will qualify.

If you ask me, broaden your cast, and rather than ensuring they are a virgin, ensure they are special.
x
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 10
Virgin seeking virgin
Posted: 12/30/2012 3:40:00 PM
OP, nothing wrong with being a virgin if that is what you want, but to insist on a virgin at your age is dreaming.

If that is the case you should have gotten married 10 years ago, even then virgins would possibly be in the minority.

Anything is possible, but realisticly your chances of finding a virgin are slim to nill.

OFMM
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 12
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Virgin seeking virgin
Posted: 12/30/2012 8:42:34 PM
I think I’m not judgmental and/or I try not to be. I was brought up in a culture that virginity was very important for girls (at least) until the day they get married. But in this day and age, I’m not sure that is important any more in any countries in this world. Now you can hardly find any virgin girls even at the age of 16, 18. So just accept the reality. You would be lucky enough to find a nice girl and learn to build a relationship on the positive points. You state that you are shy, inexperienced, and if you were afraid of an experienced girl would laugh at you, I suggest that you read books, learn from them, practice and fake it until you make it. When you pass one time, two times, you will be okay.
Virgin seeking virgin
Posted: 12/31/2012 5:22:47 AM
I was a virgin until 30...

...the thing that I miss the most about being a virgin at any age above legal drinking age...is how much I could learn so fast about people according to what they would say, think, or assume when hearing of my virginous status. During my virgin era, I learned a LOT about people - I found out that I could figure out a lot about them amazingly fast, according to whatever they'll say about being a virgin past a certain age. I'd gotten the most ditsy and shallow reactions from people about what they thought my reasons for being a virgin were, and about their attitudes about the genders, sex, and relationships. Even today, I don't quite believe that people are as idiotic as was revealed to me during this time. I think it even means something that many people just couldn't believe me...not because of the age, but because of who they knew me to be - because of my looks and personality, and because there was just no way that someone with no actual experience could be so "wise" about women, sex, and relationships, and be able to talk with women so well, etc. Even the first few times I had sex...the woman in question called me a liar. ( I never even understood why one needs experience to know how to be good at sex. )

And what's the most humorous to me...is that there is still not one single person, male or female, who has been able to even concieve of the real reason, a profoundly simple one, as a possibility. In my case, I actually think sometimes that I should be thankful for my virgin era.

And these people who try and degrade being a virgin (except when they're addressing the ways in which a virgin is sometimes a bit ditsy about it themselves) need to be ignored.
 InActingLive
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 16
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Virgin seeking virgin
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:52:57 PM
I grew up being taught that abstinence until marriage was absolutely necessary so I'm not going to chastise you for being a virgin even though I haven't personally stayed on the virgin until marriage bandwagon. However, I am going to warn you that as you get older the women who are still virgins are likely either going to be very socially awkward, very unattractive, extremely religious, or recently immigrated from a country where staying a virgin until marriage is an absolute necessity. Also, if you find a woman who loves you enough to respect that you want to wait until marriage to have sex even though she has previously had sex, you've probably found an amazing woman. It would be a shame to let her go just because she had previously been with someone else. Finally, having sex for the first time with someone who has no idea what they are doing is miserable. I speak from experience on that one. You'll enjoy your first time a LOT more if it is with someone who knows a little bit about what they are doing. Yes, I know that fairly tails and catholic schools teach you that sex between two virgins is the most amazing sex ever but in reality it is painful and awkward. Sex with someone who has some experience is much much more pleasurable and more likely to result in an orgasm. Just get the experienced party an STD test first and you'll be fine :-)
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 17
Virgin seeking virgin
Posted: 1/12/2013 3:54:35 PM
Carolann gave you great advice. I suggest you take it. You need to vastly improve your profile and upload current photos. Click on "Profile Writing Tips" in the Profile Review forum.

You sound like you are stuck in the 1800's with your insistence on marrying a virgin. I suggest you see a counselor. This behavior is self-defeating.
Virgin seeking virgin
Posted: 1/16/2013 1:27:10 AM
I've said it before in other virginity-oriented threads...and I'm going to have to say it again -

- I was a 30 yr old virgin.

- It never bothered me. At all. Wasn't embarrassed about it. At all. I didn't broadcast it nor volunteer the fact so much, but I didn't try real hard to hide it. Eventually I did volunteer the fact more readily (see next item).

- What I miss the most about it is that I could learn so much so fast about people according to their reactions to the fact that I was a virgin at any age above legal drinking age. Even today, I'm surprised at the shallowness and ditsiness of people that I discovered during my "virgin-era" as revealed by their assumptions for why I was a virgin or their attempts to explain or account for it: idiotic things about respect, waiting, strength and self-discipline, confidence, fear, orientation, and not being a proper man because I wasn't a dog or pig like I was supposed to be...and this one coming from those who first "commend me for my most admirable ways". I truly got so sick and tired of all this stupidity, after first being entertained by it for a while.

- I think that the biggest problem for virgins...the biggest area of concern...is misunderstanding: I do NOT mean others understanding them, but what I DO mean is a virgin understanding or misunderstanding THEMSELVES. Many virgins themselves aren't quite in touch with their reasons for being a virgin and their own attitudes about it all. For the most part, with exceptions, the absolute WORST thing a virgin could do is to seek advice about this from others. I've seen them get so manipulated and put off-balance and confused about themselves, without them realizing it, by listening to the attitudes and opinions of other people on the subject. And I even mean the opinions of those who approve, because they probably still don't have the slightest clue why a virgin is like he/she is, but will cause them to begin thinking about it wrong, unknowingly for both parties...

...any random handful of people can't or don't even agree about other sex or relationship oriented subjects, how could you expect just any joe-schmoe to not have a detrimental influence on a virgin who might happen to be too young to not be swayed the wrong way about themselves?
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 21
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Virgin seeking virgin
Posted: 1/16/2013 1:30:52 AM
You need to get over this virgin fetish you have. It isn't going to end well. Sex is a big part of any relationship. Sex is easy to learn and difficult to master. You have alot of catching up to do.
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 22
Virgin seeking virgin
Posted: 1/27/2013 8:11:50 AM
change your name from agedashi to virgin seeking virgin. good luck.
 RussArtLover
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 24
Virgin seeking virgin
Posted: 1/27/2013 11:38:24 AM
Some ok advice here but it's hard to put yourself in other peoples shoes sometimes. We need to develop a Special Relativity for relationships. For some virgins, they're first experience will never be casual.

Say you've had 3 partners, one was a one night stand, the other two long term, giving you a total of 5 years of having sex at least once a week. That's a little over 1000 times you've had sex.

For someone who has never done it, you might try imagine having sex with someone who has had sex with 3 people a day for thirty years, a pro. NOW what advice would you want, to get yourself in a positive mindset to "get her done?"
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