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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..      Home login  
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 Lucky...13
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 1
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
So I will be turning 45 next month so I decided to post here. A women who is 51 responded back to my message and said that I might be too young for her? I am curious what age group I should be messaging? Currently my email settings are set to 32 and older. Is this ok?
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 2
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How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 11:56:42 AM
Honestly that all depends on you. What you think of as the right age for you might be too old or too young for someone else.I usually don't go for someone who is old enough to be my father or young enough to be my son. Just do what feels right for you, keeping in mind that the women you write to aren't going to always see eye to eye with your tastes, but don't let that stop you. Im 45 and I don't think a man 6 years younger than me is too young for me, but the woman you wrote to had other opinions. It happens, don't worry about it. The next woman you write to might think you're just perfect for her.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 3
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 12:08:08 PM
Age difference is nothing. Look at Hugh Heffner with a wife 60 years younger.
 anita_lay
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 4
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How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 12:36:58 PM
^^A love match, if ever there was one.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5
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How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 1:07:19 PM
Is it "okay?"

All you should have to do to answer this yourself, OP, is to look at how lots of women have THEIR profiles set up, and ask yourself, if they are each "okay" with you.

The answer, of course, is that there is no one person, nor is there an organized group, who establishes what is and isn't "okay" about things like this.

Very likely, some people will see those settings of your, and conclude that you are a cradle-robbing nut job of some sort. Others will blame all male kind, using you as an example of "another older guy who wants a young chippy girlfriend." Others still, will decide you restricted yourself too much, and are a hyper-conservative fuddy-duddy. Lots will not bother to formulate an opinion (my kind of people!) and will either decide to give you a try or not, based upon what they think they see there.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 6
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 1:16:19 PM

Age difference is nothing. Look at Hugh Heffner with a wife 60 years younger.


Ewwwwwww ....
Now that is GROSS!

I saw a photo of them the other day and nearly hurled.
WTF!
Can he even get it up anymore?
Or does he have a permanent implant.

Man ... the things women will marry for money.
 anita_lay
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 7
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How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 1:21:03 PM
^^I thought the opposite - the things men who have money will marry..lol..
I mean, HH is as old as dirt, but he would be a damn sight more interesting that the Barbie he's married. Who would you rather have dinner with?
 CURVYandCUDDLY
Joined: 1/20/2011
Msg: 8
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 1:55:45 PM
Do what works for you. No one else's opinion really matters ... accept of course, the person you are going out with. Do not give your power away to others to let them define who you are or what you want as long as you are comfortable with it and it does not hurt anyone or break your own moral boundaries.
 subtlebombshell
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 9
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 2:22:40 PM
I've replied to lots of guys that they are too young for me. But they are all at least 20 years younger.

Women get so many emails they can afford to jettison large numbers of people based on superficial criteria.
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 10
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 2:26:42 PM
Age is a number to a large extent.

I have met people who seem much older or younger than their chronological age.
For example have a mental age of 13. So my so called friends tell me. lol

It is all attitude.

Personally I am not a fan of people who say they are 50 something chronologically but look or act younger.
That in my humble opinion is delusional.

Contact people whom you find interesting.
Some will like you, some will not.

Now if you were he in Oz and contacted me I would reply.

You are handsome, fit, can form sentences and show intelligence, charm and like The Big Bang Theory.
A heady mix. lol

Good luck.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 11
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 4:23:20 PM
For me....
10 years either way is the extreme range limit.
5 years either way is the sweet spot.

So to me you were not out of line.
However some women...of any age....just prefer older guys.
 Sunfire1959
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 12
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 4:32:44 PM
The age difference you are writing about isn't too extreme for most people- but apparently was for that one person.

My last husband is 22 years younger than me. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that after a while there are more differences than there are things in common and no matter how good looking the other person is, how much fun you have most of the time, or whatever it was that attracted the two of you in the beginning-- it will wear out after 10 years of marriage if there are generation gaps that just can't be bridged.
 J_bird61
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 13
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 5:46:02 PM
I think your age range sounds fine....
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 14
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 9:02:59 PM
OP do whatever you think is right for you. Looking for 13 yrs younger ( 32 ) will bring in women who are still wanting to start or add to a thier family if it is your desire to be a part of that picture. Would I date 13 yrs younger in some cases yes... 13 yrs older not unless she was a very young 68!

Personally I've come to the conclusion that I am best to not limit women who contact me based on age - it's not like I was getting hords or women I think are too young or old for me messaging me out of the blue and why put something else on your profile you might be judged badly for.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 15
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How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 9:47:22 PM
Message whatever age group trips your trigger, trust me, there are all kinds out there! Some women dont feel comfortable with a man even a year younger, they want the older man father figure thing! I prefer younger for the most part, the men my age or older are just usually to old in a lot of ways. But, I dont like to much younger because I dont need the drama or to have to teach them anything. My kingdom for a man in my age range who hasn't given up and retired to the rocking chair!
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 16
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 10:00:09 PM
You messaged her first. I think she’s asking if you genuinely find her attractive. That’s not something we can tell you.

45m – 32f is a big spread for most people. You're not at the same stage in life. It's not usually a peer relationship. But maybe that's not everything. You have to feel it out.
 checkinguoutnow
Joined: 12/31/2012
Msg: 17
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 10:19:04 PM
Hi Lucky...13,

It all depends on the woman and what age range she is used to dating. As you know, maturity has little to do with age, however, maybe she has had bad experiences with younger men and decided she wanted to meet someone her age or older. There is no way to know unless you ask her, right?

Sherri
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 18
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/3/2013 10:39:32 PM
I am happy to date any woman with standards low enough to date me.
 FishOwl
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 19
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/4/2013 12:20:13 AM
Acknowledge that you might be and ask if she wants to find out? Then get on with life.
 jslo2004
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 20
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/4/2013 12:54:25 AM
Six years difference is no big deal-----I always say "age is mind over matter----if you don't mind it just doesn't matter" I was against dating younger guys at first but guys my age are looking for younger women if they are active and if they aren't active they are looking for someone to take care of them (that is my experence) So when the younger guys started emailing me I figured what the heck. I'm not looking to get married and if we are both happy then who cares. Just keep looking and go after what you like---you will find someone out there.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 21
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How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/4/2013 9:01:13 AM
If, when you are standing face to face, both of you want to close the gap between you, age is not relevant. Otherwise, its as good as any excuse.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 22
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/4/2013 5:01:44 PM
Your age settings are whatever you feel comfortable with.
Mine are from 26 to 60, because I have made several friends on here, from all age levels, & we correspond frequently.
IMO, after age 30, an age difference of a decade really doesn't make a difference. I don't think a 51 year old woman is too old for you, if you are comfortable with that.
I think she is telling you her age, to see if you're ok with it. If she thought you really were too young for her, she wouldn't have sent you the message. She wants to make sure you're ok with her age.
Your settings should be wide ranging, see who contacts you & then decide if you want to respond to the message.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 23
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/4/2013 5:20:37 PM
It depends what you're looking for.

If it's good sex then any age will be fine.

If it's a life partner then age is a consideration if you want children or she wants children or if one is marrying the other because their pension savings are insufficient.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 24
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How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/4/2013 5:42:58 PM

Women get so many emails they can afford to jettison large numbers of people based on superficial criteria.


women who look like YOU get so many emails they can afford to do that.

the other 80% of us are out of luck.

and another major internet dating site has posted the statistics that prove this...
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 25
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/4/2013 5:55:38 PM
^^^Funny how that subtle line sounded like grade nine, a thesaurus and an adams apple.
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