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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 1
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Ive been looking off and on for the past 18 months for someone. Evidently, I'm doing something wrong. What is it that family/marriage minded men.. in their 30's to early 40's, want from a woman?
What am I doing wrong? Where else should I look?
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 2
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/4/2013 10:35:38 PM
They want a woman who is not trying to fit herself to them--because that feels unnatural.

When you truly accept that you can be happily single, and you treasure yourself as much as you would anyone else--so you are protective of your own needs and boundaries and not willing to give them up to be what someone else wants--then you will have an aura of confidence that others will notice. It is really true, and you can't fake it.

The bonus is, once you are mentally in that place, "finding someone" is nice but not essential to your happiness--so no matter what happens, you will be o.k. with it.

Good luck.
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 3
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 1:46:34 AM
Being myself had problem not to be good enough. I will fund my happiness in a faithful relationship where I feel loved and wanted
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 4
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 7:00:27 AM

They want a woman who is not trying to fit herself to them--because that feels unnatural.

When you truly accept that you can be happily single, and you treasure yourself as much as you would anyone else--so you are protective of your own needs and boundaries and not willing to give them up to be what someone else wants--then you will have an aura of confidence that others will notice. It is really true, and you can't fake it.

The bonus is, once you are mentally in that place, "finding someone" is nice but not essential to your happiness--so no matter what happens, you will be o.k. with it.


Excellent answer!

Reread this OP.
Really try to understand what is being said here.
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 5
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 7:35:47 AM
What I mean is like
what kind of traits do they desire? Someone who can cook? What kind of activities? Is there a certain body type or hair color these type of men prefer?
 Keeper_of_Secrets
Joined: 5/16/2012
Msg: 6
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:08:53 AM
It does not matter what men are looking for. What matters is what you are looking for. If a man does not match what you want then what he is presenting and offering does not matter.

What are your boundaries.
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 7
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:12:38 AM
im looking for someone marriage and family minded, in his 30s to early 40s who lives near me

so where do I fall in place to attract and find that?
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 8
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:16:01 AM
Being yourself just means you met a lot of men who were not a good match for you--it does *not* mean there is anything wrong with you. Ask trusted loved ones, or a therapist, if you think you have some type of personality disorder that threatens your ability to build relationships, but other than that, you really should not change what YOU like about yourself or what comes naturally to you (your interests, taste in clothes/hair/food/activities), etc. It is a huge and doomed waste of effort to "win" someone by trying to be what they want--sooner or later, you will be unable to uphold that pretense, and they may well not love who you really are, and it will be your fault for having lured someone in with falseness. Finding your happiness in a relationship is not a long-term strategy for a life of joy. Finding it in yourself is. Please work on that and take the new "you," someone who loves herself--flaws and warts and all--into the world. That's how to find the person who loves the true you, and that is a foundation for real happiness in a relationship--plus the fact that, if the relationship fails, you still have yourself to love and feel good about.
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 9
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:22:50 AM
my interests and tastes in music and clothing is so BROAD... so really I can easily focus on a few things because I already like them..

just need to know what type of things marriage minded men in that age group look for?
 Keeper_of_Secrets
Joined: 5/16/2012
Msg: 10
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:23:16 AM
Since you are Christian, how about at church and church social events.
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 11
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:27:54 AM
there's not really any events in my area. I live in a small backwards town that consists mostly of bars and a walmart. Thats part of the problem is trying to weed thru the non-dateable material to find the few who are.
 Keeper_of_Secrets
Joined: 5/16/2012
Msg: 12
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:40:14 AM
So there is your opportunity.
Create some social events with your church.
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 13
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:44:41 AM
Im not active enough in a church to do that right now. My job has me work most weekends, which means I rarely attend church, and being a single mom with a very young child doesnt make it any easier to oganize events.
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 14
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 9:04:43 AM
Im not too busy for relationship

I dont have a set schedule.. I work in retail, which means I do work a lot of weekends, its hard to make set, solid plans, but I do know my schedule 3 weeks in advance, so its still open enough to make plans for dating. I work a lot of 5am-2pm so do have free afternoons/evenings to0, I can easily plan around my work schedule.

I also have a baby sitter.

Im as flexible as I can be.
 Keeper_of_Secrets
Joined: 5/16/2012
Msg: 15
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 9:18:17 AM
So in other words you are not to busy to complain, but just busy enough to not do anything about it... Gotcha :-)
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 16
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 9:21:47 AM
no, my schedule just doesnt allow for me to commit to something that takes months of planning. Its not like I will know for sure that I will have a saturday off to do X even 3 months from now. I just dont feel Im in a position to plan and organize events.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 17
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:26:01 AM
I spent most of my 20's having fun, working, school, etc. Now, I will invest more time for the dating scene, and you must do the same if that is what you want.

Something has to give at some point, but if you want to continue to focus on other endeavors you may. But there is an opportunity cost for choosing to do so.
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 18
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:31:27 AM
I dont think putting my time into church functions will leave the time for dating.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:36:03 AM

When you truly accept that you can be happily single, and you treasure yourself as much as you would anyone else--so you are protective of your own needs and boundaries and not willing to give them up to be what someone else wants--then you will have an aura of confidence that others will notice. It is really true, and you can't fake it.

The bonus is, once you are mentally in that place, "finding someone" is nice but not essential to your happiness--so no matter what happens, you will be o.k. with it.

This is really something everyone here should tape to their fridge and read daily. You are at your most healthy and open for a relationship right around the time when you're fine with not being in one.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 20
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:38:04 AM
"I dont think putting my time into church functions will leave the time for dating."

Well either you interact more with the single men at church functions (hint, hint, this why they have such functions) or cut back a bit for dating.

You have to make a choice at some point if it is bothering you. But if you are happy being single that is fine too.
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 21
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:42:38 AM
here's the thing.. any church Ive gone to, is lacking in single men in my age group. Just doesnt seem like a good venue to meet such people, when they are not there. There's plenty of bars around, but marriage minded men are not hanging out there on a regular basis either, nor will they be looking for women there.

There's a walmart here, but that doesnt attract quality men.

there's also 2 dunkin donuts and at least 3 subways (WHY??? this town just isnt big enough for that many DD's and Subways!)
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 22
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:44:58 AM
I get told I just need to get out more, but Im just not sure where to go. Tried hanging out at the tractor supply store and home depot, just browsing.. i have plenty of home improovement ideas that I brainstorm anyways.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 23
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 3:37:55 PM
There seem a few types. Some guys are actually looking for someone to have children with. Most are looking for an absolutely killer bomb who makes them crazy - then after a couple of years of that it just seems like, "hey-- this is working.."
 peakbagger7
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 24
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 4:31:45 PM
Decent guys in their 30s who are marriage minded generally are smart enough to avoid single moms, unless they are single dads themselves.
 Garvey14
Joined: 10/4/2012
Msg: 25
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 5:09:09 PM
Perfect response to your question. When you adapt to someone else there is a very good chance that at some point you are going to come to the conclusion that is not what ultimately makes you happy and your relationship/ marriage will leave you unfulfilled.
Learn to be good on your own and when you do meet someone they will love you for you, not the person you are pretending to be.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?