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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Should I keep seeing this guy?      Home login  
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 bluemoonlantern
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 1
Should I keep seeing this guy?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Help me out Please.

I have been seeing this guy off and on for a few months now. We always hang out at his place which is not a problem but I would like to go on a date once and a while. We both have jobs and I have no problem paying at all and have offered. He says he is the type of person that just likes to stay home. He never wants to hang out at my house and has met my kids a few times. When we make plans to see each other it is great and it is none stop conversation and laughing and the sexual drive is there for both of us. Although I am having a problem when he says I just want to be alone tonight and I have to cancel sorry. Then I will get messages saying how he misses me and can't wait to see me. So I am starting to have doubts about where the relationship is going and what to do about it. I really like him and I am falling for him.

So I guess my questions are.
What is a woman to do and how to handle this situation?
Should I keep seeing him?
 Indira46
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 2
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Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:24:09 PM
You should not keep seeing him if you are not happy staying in his house all the time. That sounds boring. He is unwilling to take you out. He doesn't care that you're not happy. Dump him.
 Abbeygirl58
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 3
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:36:05 PM
Listen to your gut....its the same old story...everything on his terms...been there done that...it will never change..after a while getting a call just when the guy is lonley or hor**** really wears away your self esteem...I know how difficult it is when there is no one else on the horizon...good luck with that.
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 4
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:38:54 PM
I don't think u should continue to see this guy.

If in the first few months this is his behavior that he doesn't want to go out and do anything, it sounds to me that he's not a very open and outdoorsy guy.

There's nothing wrong with being a home body but u can't be a home body everyday. When I'm dating someone, I want to do things together as a couple with that person. Not stay at home. The relationship will never progress anywhere trust me.

My ex and I spent alot of times at his place as his lived alone and I live at home.

We stayed home and always had sex. In the 5 months we were together, we maybe had gone out 5 times! That's it! Kinda sad if u ask me as I wanted to go out all the time.


I think u should dump him and move on.
 SILLYGIRL111
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 5
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Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:47:22 PM
He sounds selfish and only into his own needs and everything has to be on on his terms he is very much into control. You do not sound happy. I would end it with him. I been there it will not change.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 6
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:50:24 PM
If this has been going on for a few months, why did you stick out that long if you like going out? When you met him the first time, was at a public place like a coffee shop or restaurant? Have you talked to him about it and expressed your desire to go out occasionally, and what's his reason for being such a homebody? We need to know his reasoning or excuses before commenting.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 7
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 8:51:33 PM
OP

I think it is very clear that the two of you are not well suited. You like to go out; he is a homebody. It will not work despite the fact the two of you may connect on many other areas. It's probably best for you to move on.
 bluemoonlantern
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 8
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 9:01:21 PM
I have stuck around because we do connect on all other levels. We met in a public place down by the river and walked and talked there too. I have talked to him about it and his reason is just that is who he is.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 9
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Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 9:02:22 PM
You like him, he seems to like you... If you'd like to continue seeing him maybe you could express to him the concerns you voiced in this thread. Maybe, you could even have him read this thread and see what he says/thinks.

Finding someone who you like, and who may like you just as much is a good thing. I'd try talking before dumping and would only pull the flush handle if incompatibility were determined.
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 10
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 9:15:35 PM
he is hiding and if you were a bit more agressive in paying attention.. you will find that he is likely a player who hasn't been caught yet.. he is clearly not wanting to be with you in public.. big big red flag.. it's all on his terms so he has his playing well orchestrated.. you need to run or play detective when he is supposedly busy.. my guess is you'll find out more than you bargained for .. this scenario is not new.. he is pof'ing more than you know..
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 11
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 9:31:23 PM
It is still early in the relationship. The only one who can answer that is you. There could be many reasons why he is not motivated to go out on the town. Health, stress from work or just feels comfort in his home. It could be that he is finding comfort being with you and he may not have the need for anything else. Try talking to him and find out what he is feeling before you make a decision.
 ImReadyForUnow
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 12
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 9:50:33 PM
The answer is in the question.
"Should I keep seeing this guy?" If you are asking the question you already know the question is no.

There are tons of guys on this site who would be happy to date you, have great conversations, share amazing sex and take you on dates.

But while you are wasting your time with this 'shut in' they do not have a chance to treat you like a very special lady.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 13
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:07:57 PM
Do you think it maybe possible it is because your still married? He may not feel comfortable out in public with another mans wife. Just a thought.
 Abbeygirl58
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 14
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:15:52 PM
OP go to BaggageReclaim. com and it will explain everything...
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 15
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Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:29:09 PM
You don't like his lifestyle, you want something different than he does and yet you keep seeing him because it's better than having to find some one else. That's the deal, isn't it. He's made it plain to you, he's not going to change, you are most certainly not going to get treated the way you want, so yes you should stop seeing him unless you just want to see him for the sex when he's in the mood. As for a relationship, you have none with him, you are someone he sees when he's in the mood and he only sees you on his terms.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 16
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:59:03 PM
^^^^ Vinny's right. For example, I'm bored with my cable service, so I do online shopping in the hopes of getting a cute delivery man at my house with whom I can have meaningless sex.
 Snufalupogous
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 17
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Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/5/2013 11:05:28 PM
Maybe after drinking he has trouble getting it up??
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 18
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 12:03:15 AM
Well... if I were in your shoes...
I would just keep presenting good date ideas until the person that I liked realized that the ONLY way to see me was to actually go out on a date with me. I would consistently say "No" to the offers to hang out at his place. And, I would counter-offer with something fun to do like going out to listen to live music. And... if he were to cancel on me... then of course I would go out and do something fun with my friends.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 19
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 12:38:09 AM

For god's sake come to your own conclusion about your relationship follow your instinct and ask yourself truthfully is this relationship going to benefit you as a person in the future and continue to do so down the road and be happy as a result of it. And I beg you don't take relationship advice from an open forum many of the users in an open forum have a hard time balancing their cheque book let alone trying to maintain a healthy relationship jumping from one to the next leaving a trail of damaged emotions in their wake running from their problems rather than facing them.

LMAO,Good advice and secondary advice former :p ...


"I have been seeing this guy off and on for a few months now"

Why off and on...and then wonder where the "relationship" is going?

Does he have children, though assumption says no...
Maybe, his motive/s... How often you have sex, to actual meetings ratio, as he may view you as more a friend with sexual benefits, and could be partially the reason why he just wants to stay at home and not spend money, though certain men just like to stay home...
 tsooybkk
Joined: 7/6/2010
Msg: 20
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 3:27:19 AM
Nobody can't answer this question better than yourself.. but just can share some idea or advise..

If he is right for you and is someone you looking for long time.. then you both can find out the way to fix it.. but if not and making you unhappy.. just fade out :)

Good luck anyways..
 StageCat1
Joined: 6/23/2012
Msg: 21
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:04:14 AM
Get the book, "He's Just Not That Into You" and cut your losses. Seriously. We've all stayed too long at one time or another, and it never comes to anything good. Go find someone who'll be crazy about you.
 TAWT
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 22
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:30:51 AM
Blue, I've tried to have a "relationship" with a guy like this once. What??? Well, he was fun and funny. He could be generous and helpful. Sure, he had lots of other nice qualities too. Kind to animals and whatever. (So what! Who stays with a monster???) But behind the facade was the sort of smoldering narcissism that always said, "Hey I'm more comfortable at my place; why don't you come over here? I want to be alone now, but tomorrow I'll practically beg you to spend the night. (You will always say yes.) And last but not least, every single conversation will revolve around me and what I'm thinking, what I want, what I did last week, what I'm doing right now, and what I'm planning to do next month (big, BIG plans. Look at them, looooook). Don't you just admire the f#ck out of me? I'm awesome, but you'll never hear me say it, because I'm also modest. And even when I ask about you and what you're thinking, which will be rare, it will really be just a pretense for whatever it has to do with me. This is just who I am."

Oh yes, there were other clues, that I brushed off at the time. The histrionics when I ordered something HE would never eat in a restaurant. The time he was cutting down trees on my property and came in to ask if I had been watching him. I wasn't. Disappointment. Shall I go on.

OMG I'm still kicking myself over that one.

What is that giant sucking sound???? Every minute that you stay is just another minute of your life that you'll never get back. LOL!!!!
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 23
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:42:50 AM
If you want to be merely a booty call.. stay. If you want to live a life of waiting for him to decide he feels like seeing you on his terms.. stay. If you have any self esteem left.. move on. Maybe jumping into bed with someone one who doesnt share any of your interests is not going to produce the results you want. Remember this, you are allowing him to dictate if when and how you spend time. Its your choice.
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 24
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Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:49:50 AM
OP

Sounds like the gent is being very honest with you - he prefers to be alone, nothing wrong with that. May I ask how old he is?

I am going out on a limb - you certainly sound reasonable and your gent friend sounds reasonable, just don't think you are compatible
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 25
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:51:39 AM

Remember this, you are allowing him to dictate if when and how you spend time

True...If you are not happy and he doesn't want to be with you "all" the time.....sorry...You need to listen to your instincts.
I would try talking to him first. Speak your mind...on what you expect,want to experience and enjoy from a relationship....being social and going out is part of that.
If he can't compromise and it's still all on his terms....he's not the one for you.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Should I keep seeing this guy?