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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 2
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Why be so ridged?
Or is this a vent?

Be happy with who you are.
Enjoy your life, and if someone is meant to be in it then it will happen.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 3
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 8:50:22 AM
good one..but i personally would want to be single as opposed to trying to find someone and not being successful etc..
I have a son who is 9 and plan to give him all my time for the forseeable future and I am not ready to accomodate someone else's needs..nor mine be accomodated by others. Relationships are not everything. Friendships are more important in the long run. Looks like the OP has what she needs..but that human need/lean to find love /companionship to feel complete is a strong pull..though not vital. Happy single does exist..you just have to fill it up with meaningful things... like..in my opinion only, the negative of relationships is that people find relationships so they can be lazy, neglect taking care of themselves and blame others for their bad decisions, eat badly, drink..even whiles having fun etc. In the long run unless folks are truly going to remain themselves in relationships..or get better, BETTER POSITIVELY, then it's all the blinders that eventually makes people unhappy anyway.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 5
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 8:57:23 AM

Because you haven't clicked with the right guy, doesn't mean that you won't some day.

I agree.
Course in my case clicked with a right woman.
But you can't, and shouldn't rush things.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 6
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 9:06:14 AM
There are people who are married to their job and have no time for relationships. Their job/paycheck is their whole life. These people seem to be contempt being single because being in a relationship might interfere with their job and being available 24/7 to their employer. So being single works for them.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 9
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 10:16:26 AM
I have been single since '96. I don't see myself ever marrying again or even being in a relationship. I absolutely believe some of us are just meant to be single. I made peace with it a very long time ago.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 12
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 10:54:06 AM

To expand, I don't believe anyone's "meant" to be single. Proof being this very thread, composed as it is of some of the "being single is right for me" types.


That is YOUR belief. I don't understand the second "sentence".


Even though you may feel ok being single, you still yearn for social interaction because that's part of human nature. We're social animals pure and simple.


Not so much. Everyone is not the same. Not everyone is social. You are speaking about yourself.


("Cast Away" and the basketball named "Spalding" come readily to mind.) :)


Do you mean the volleyball named Wilson?


So what we should be saying is, we're simply making due being semi-isolated, but if the conditions we once knew occured again we'd be ok not being single again.


Once again you speak for yourself. This is not true for me. If my "conditions" presented themselves again I would not have married in the first place. Single is what I would have always been and what I would continue to be today.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 13
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 11:31:08 AM

If you're really ok being alone, why even be on this site? Are other forums out there not on social dating type websites.


I enjoy the interactions that I have with some of the people here without having to "actually" interact. I am on lots of other sites and forums. This is the only one that has this sort of slant.

I won't quote the entire second paragraph other than to say that I am single and do truly prefer it and I am not the only one. There is no such thing as absolutes.


Think about what you do when feeling lonely. Turn on the tv or radio to "hear other people?"


I don't have a T.V. and only listen to the radio when in the car.


Go out to people-watch? Go shopping? Talk to yourself? I'm betting yuo don't sit in your home all day and all night reading.


No. No. No. You would lose that bet. I have no desire to go out unless it is for work and yes, I do spend the majority of my free time reading.


You probably do something to maintain contact with other people.


Wrong. If I don't have to go to work I go days without contact and would gladly go longer if I could get away with it. Not all of us are social animals and need others around. We are all individuals. What one needs another does not necessarily need. Thank goodness we aren't all the same.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 14
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 12:36:42 PM

I actually agree with you that some people just seem to be happier and more content as single. I dont agree that many that are single and want a partner are just "doomed" or "cursed" to always be single.

Agreed.

Be happy with who you are.
Enjoy your life, and if someone is meant to be in it then it will happen.

It's really that simple.

To expand, I don't believe anyone's "meant" to be single. Proof being this very thread, composed as it is of some of the "being single is right for me" types. Even though you may feel ok being single, you still yearn for social interaction because that's part of human nature.

You can be single and still have plenty of social interaction - as it's not limited to who you're dating, unless of course you expect the person you're dating to be the only source of your social interaction.

We're social animals pure and simple. No one's going to happy and well-adjusted living alone on a desert island with no one and nothing to be social with ("Cast Away" and the basketball named "Spalding" come readily to mind.) :)

Single people are FAR from deserted on an island with no human interaction whatsoever. A relationship is a part of your overall social life, ideally. Friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances, community, etc are what makes up the rest of your social activity.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 15
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 12:37:59 PM
Some people are happier single but I don't believe in any sort of destiny where some power chooses who will be single, etc. I know I'm not marriage material, I know I'm not most guys pick, I'm quite happy being single, but if I happened to meet the right person at the right time, then all bets are off. I'm not looking but I'm not blocking either.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 21
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 3:36:14 PM
^^^^^LCDizme12 thats why you find a FWB to take care of other needs..
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 23
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 4:09:56 PM
My profile says exactly that. I've had numerous relationships since my divorce 20 years ago but in all that time obviously I haven't met "the one".
I find it harder and harder to "click" with anyone and have realized maybe some of us are meant to be single.
I've been married twice and know there's worse things.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 24
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 4:12:44 PM
Perhaps. Personally, I don't worry about it one way or the other. There are worse things in life than being single . There are worse things than being alone. I think most people would like to have someone to do things with: travel, cuddle, etc...especially when the person gets to be my age. I get out and about, going out of my comfort zone, meeting people, etc. If I meet someone and it clicks, cool. If not, hey it happens.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 26
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:46:51 PM
I've seen on other posts that an ideal condition for some is to meet that special someone-the ONE, but maintain separate residences so that each person has their "me " or "alone" time and space, and just have occasional sleepovers and get-togethers. Pretty much like going on perpetual dates. It sounds good to some people in theory, but I don't know of any cases where this worked out in the long run. At some point, one of them (usually the woman) feels living apart isn't a true relationship and start pushing for what feels like a more "real" relationship, which translates to marriage and moving in together under one roof. This is usually the make or break point in the relationship.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 27
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 7:02:07 PM
There's a big difference between only wanting Mr. Wonderful and settling. I haven't met a person I'd want to move in with, and I disagree with above, many people are perfectly happy with relationships that aren't the norm. I'm not lonely, so I don't need to ever settle, and I like my own company, I like being alone for long periods, so being single is maybe more suitable for me than for some others. Some people would rather live with someone they'd trade in if they could find better, but that's not a life I'd want. I'm not waiting or looking for Mr. Right, there's some people who work out for you, many who don't, I'm happy if the men I've been with already are all there is going to be. LOL But saying you are looking for Mr. Perfect or you are settling is insulting, some times you are happily browsing.
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 28
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/6/2013 9:25:38 PM
aw.. I love .. love .. I am an incurable romantic with an insatiable curiosity for life and the art of living .. and treasure hunting is my business so.. I just live to seek and covet love and it is naturally part of who I am . I believe that we seek what we desire and we allow into our lives what we choose. I come from two people who loved each other very deeply.. it is in me like a map and I know what love feels like for I am truly loved by those I love. We may be single but no one is meant to be single .. there is far more benefits to being partnered in a healthy connection. We live longer and have more enriching lives both on an intimate level and the energy we feed to other people..I know this as walking into a room with my parents in any social setting it was not difficult to know that what they had was unique.. they were both strong independent and very respectful of each other's minds.. rare rare bond..

I don't think people are meant to be single but there is alot of dysfunctional behavior in people that make them single ..I find that all the men I have met so far .. are emotionally connected to ex's which makes them unavailable... most people on this site need therapy not a relationship. .. firstly they need to have done the work to be relationship material.. most are in limbo which might be ok for them .. but I am not into investing in their agony of a squeaky rat wheel.. insane activity produces like.

I am looking for someone who actually is single .. which means when we create .. we create to make a unit .. single is really hard to find..you can't make anything of value when you value nothing.. and even though I am sometimes painfully alone ........ it is much better than investing in someone who cannot invest back..

MY DAD .. he gave me some great advice growing up.. he told me to never invest in a man that cannot invest back or you give until you are empty and end up with nothing..

No we are not meant to be single.. but you must be single and capable of forming a bond in order to create a great relationship .. and single is where it starts.. single people have done the work and are relationship material.. very very few of em on this site .. for sure .. dysfunction creates more dysfunction.. so single is great until a great single comes along..
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 29
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/7/2013 8:01:14 AM

And on that -- if we all thought that way, no one would ever be in our lives 'cause both sides would be sitting on their azz waiting for the other to "make it happen". Bravo to the "Initiators" ;)

How do you connect "enjoying life" as sitting on your duff and never leaving the house? It simply means that if you are social, happy and out and about you will meet people of all walks naturally instead of trying to come up with a plan to try and meet people that you specifically wish to date. One is a watched pot, the other isn't.

It also stands to reason that someone who's actually happy staying home is by default going to be fairly happy with the solitude. Someone who never wants to go anywhere but demands in person company from strangers is not going to be emotionally stable.

You are at your healthiest, most attractive to others and most open when you are at a point where you're content single (and no, content single doesn't mean to avoid dating, it just means not focusing on it).
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 30
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/7/2013 8:16:25 AM

You are at your healthiest, most attractive to others and most open when you are at a point where you're content single (and no, content single doesn't mean to avoid dating, it just means not focusing on it).

Well, I am as content as I can be, but don't know about being attractive to others...LOL..
I actually think me being so content working against me, if I would be interested in a serious leading to marriage type of relationship.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 31
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/7/2013 8:25:11 AM

Well, I am as content as I can be, but don't know about being attractive to others...LOL..
I actually think me being so content working against me, if I would be interested in a serious leading to marriage type of relationship.

That all depends. If you were honestly content you wouldn't think it was working against you - you wouldn't ordinarily notice or care outside someone else bringing it up.

And yes, being OK with a serious relationship if it goes that way is way more attractive in a person than someone who feels empty without one and is constantly seeking to land it. Two totally different vibes.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 32
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/7/2013 8:38:13 AM
^^Well, I guess I only run into woman who is on a husband hunt.
That's why I think it working against me, as I seriously don't think I will ever get married again, and make no secret about it when asked.
Got a few "compliment" on my profile, was told I am honest, but that was a sort of back handed compliment.
Was told that it seems like I am fine the way things are, just miss a female companionship every once in awhile.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 33
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/7/2013 8:39:00 AM
People who put on their profiles and keep telling people "My children are my whole life. They will always come first." are candidates for being forever single. Being a loving parent is fine and dandy, but to put up a barrier to exclude other people is going to keep you in your little bubble world by yourself.
 CyclistWill77
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 34
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/11/2013 8:09:18 AM
I often get the feeling that I'm meant to be single. I am one of those rare truly single people. I've never been lucky enough to find someone who wanted to take a chance with me. Hung up on an ex? No, in my case there is no such thing. Its not for a lack of trying on my part. I've shown interest in at least 1000 people (an educated guess) in the past 20+ years, not a one of them has been interested in what I have to offer. I have a job that I take pride in, a car (a couple in fact), no criminal record, ambition, all the things women say they want in a guy, but I still fail to be good enough for anyone. Heck, I've been on a total of 9 dates in my life, and those have all taken place in the last 5 years. All but 3 of those were meet and greets and that was it.

It seems like I have better odds winning the lottery with a ticket I found on the street. That said, I have learned to be self sufficient, independent and very thick skinned. At the same time I'm a bit envious of each and every one of my friends who are married or at least in a relationship of some sort. It always makes me wonder what they have that I don't.
 fetish4u
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 37
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/14/2013 10:03:39 AM
I think so.I have only truly fell in love once and in the end she left.I have loss any type of interest in a relationship. I get lonely I'll get myself a dog.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 38
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/14/2013 4:10:38 PM
I believe we all have a purpose in life. Some of us are meant to find someone special and some of are meant to be alone. Just live your life and be happy and eventually someone will come along. Your heart needs to be open or you will never find anyone. I used to feel be addicted to being with someone. I could not be alone and it made me so unhappy. I want to find someone, but i am also happy being single.

When you actively search for something you never find it. When you aren't looking for something it tends to land in your lap. Live your live and be happy.
 VegasDanO
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 39
Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/14/2013 7:05:55 PM
personally I'm getting tired of getting crap for my Height when I respond to most of these profiles, seems being 5'5" isn't good enough
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 40
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Maybe some of us are just meant to be single?
Posted: 1/14/2013 7:08:29 PM
Vegas welcome to the club. LOL. It sucks, but thats life. Do i wish i was a little taller, sure. I love who i am and i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. My height isn't the problem how people react is. Keep fishing and you will eventually find someone who isn't shallow. It takes time and effort.
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