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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why do men make dates and then cancel them?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 2
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Flaking-out is not a situation unique to men. Women pull that same stunt, too.
It is unfortunately prevalent in the world of internet dating, so be ready for cancellations.

First meetings should ALWAYS be quick and easy meet n' greets.
If you can have a friend or family member watch your child for an hour...that is perfect.

** edit: DanBLan87 was sharing the very same feedback above. **
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 4
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/8/2013 3:46:42 PM
JanLou_1975...that guy getting back with his ex-girlfriend was likely being truthful.
If accessing POF.com from a handheld device, it can sign-on if the person is in a location with Wi-Fi.
His personal phone could literally be in his briefcase at the office and it shows "online" to others.
Hopefully that technical reason provides you a bit of peace. It is a common topic here.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 5
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/8/2013 4:23:38 PM
Because they changed their mind?
 DevotedExplorer
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 7
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/8/2013 4:38:24 PM
I would say this issue is more prevalent to men seeing as women have the ability to start more conversations with men due to the number messaging they can chat to us blokes and say yes to a date to only go back on their word when another man messages them who they would rather see.
 ScientificExperiment
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 12
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/8/2013 6:08:20 PM
Changing their mind or something better coming up is not a valid excuse. OMG has our world become so rude? Do manners no longer exist? A no show would be worse but still, if someone has agreed to meet you, you show up unless a true emergency or illness happens.

I am sure the OP is not saying only men do this either but I am guessing she only dates men, and therefore is writing from her experience and perspective.

I really hope the online dating world is not a true reflection of society as a whole. If so, we are in more trouble than I thought.

Hang in there OP. I would just stick to quick meet and greets for now, where you don't require a babysitter if that is possible.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 15
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/8/2013 7:27:59 PM
Posted by Happy_gal2013:
"...But keep in mind this pond is not that large..."

Well, there are about 3.5 billion women and approximately the same number of guys.
If a potential date flakes-out on me, I don't sweat it too much.
There are at least another 3.4999999 billion left! LOL. ;-)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/8/2013 8:09:02 PM
1. Cancelling is better than standing someone up. Waiting for someone who doesn't show is much worse.
2. Chances are you might be happier with the cancellation in most cases. Some of the guys that showed up on meets for me made me wish they cancelled.
3. Make plans doing something that doesn't hinge on the person you're meeting, so that if/when they cancel, it won't interrupt your plans, or make sure you have a good plan B.
 Glasslipper42
Joined: 12/3/2012
Msg: 19
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/8/2013 8:34:27 PM
Like my good friend says "rejection is Gods protection". For men and women and trust me she is all over these internet dating sites....NEXT!
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 21
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/8/2013 9:20:54 PM
Posted by AintNoDeal:
"...Maybe I just felt like doing yard work instead of driving across town to hear stories about your cat that you have in 5 profile photos..."

That made my day! I am howling with laughter over here.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 25
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/9/2013 6:28:06 AM

I can relate to this. I am perfectly fine, no nerves at all, until I am waiting at the meeting point for our first date (I am always early, and the girl tends to be a little late), so many doubts run through my head and it always crosses my mind that it may be easier to just cancel it.


I actually love that feeling you get. You have not met yet. You run through your head the conversations you've had. Sometimes I have had to look at my phone for her name. Was she Jane or Janet or Jan? Then she comes walking down the street. I am most of the time at my favorite restaurant siting outside. She more than likely texted me that she just found a parking spot. And you look and see her for the first time life.


That is an awesome moment.

Sometimes that first response is "she looks great," others is "Ouch, doesn't match the photos," to "Oh my god, pinch me."
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 26
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/9/2013 6:49:12 AM
The same reason(s) why women do. They are married or in a relationship. They decided that they weren't ready or available for a relationship. They were dishonrest about something in their profile. They met someone that they liked better. They were never interested to begin with. Some people will use internet dating as an ego boost or a way to pass time when they are bored.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 34
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/10/2013 6:21:07 AM
I say treat others as you would want to be treated. I have personally only canceled one date. I emailed and explained that I felt uncomfortable with his emails that followed our agreement to meet and I did not want him to drive 30 minutes to meet someone who just did not show up. I have personally had several men ask me out, then disappear. I do not show up without the man confirming the date. I tell him that up front. I would think it would be very rude to have someone sitting in a coffee shop or bar waiting and waiting. That is just plain nasty.
As for thinking someone is out of your league? If she agreed to meet you, she didn't think so. Meet her, what do you really have to lose? Its just a meeting, not an agreement to marry.
I think its rude when either males or females flake. Man up or Woman up!!
 ritawright
Joined: 12/2/2012
Msg: 40
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/11/2013 2:10:00 AM
If you are a busy mom he shouldn't have a problem with a drive by "Meet and Greet", at a park, cup of coffee, or department store parking lot, just to get the feel of one another before making plans for a first date. Don't waste your time with a man that won't accommodate you.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 41
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/11/2013 6:57:42 AM
This should not be an excuse to be rude Josh, Text and cancel rather than stand someone up and why not try a little honesty.. it really goes a long way
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 45
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:40:35 AM
Can't speak for all dudes, but I do it quite often. Well...not exactly make dates; more along the lines of "we should hang out this weekend," but don't ever make it official. Or there will be times where I'll cancel just because I found something better to do like play Madden online or attend a club. I've had women cancel out on me at the last minute as well. Doesn't bother me one bit because I always have a plan B & C activity ready (club, bar, party, etc)...which is why when I do plan dates I plan accordingly. Thus I always plan a date early enough so I can dip out somewhere in case afterwards if need be. That way my night isn't ruined.
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 46
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/12/2013 1:19:28 AM
Some guys are have had bad experiences with their first crush or first girlfriends and become players. They develop a heart of stone. It is not an excuse to be rude, I agree. But for these people, they have bitterness inside and don't care for other people's feelings until they find someone who will finally turn their world upside down and get hurt. Only then they will realize the pain they've caused others. But in the mean time, they don't care.


True,

But then there are others like me who observed and listened to what older guys told me about the laides. I personally never been done wrong or whatnot by any woman. Personally I'm not bitter about anything as far as women are concerned. However, I've seen other guys have bad experiences. Experiences that me, myself & I, would never want experience. A smart man learns from his mistakes, but a wise man learns from other people's mistakes. I'm not a "A hole," but I'm not a "nice guy" either. With women I have a don't care mentality. If they like me koo, if not oh well.

Based off my observations dudes who are the biggest A holes keep women around. *shrugs* Don't know why, it just happens that way. Men see this and they follow the trend. No man want to have his pride and manhood hurt over a woman. Sad part is many women obviously, regardless whether they want to admit it or not, are or were attracted to that kind of behavior...until they get a certain age and by then we all know where it goes from there. Case in point...look at the average age of the women on these forums looking for a "nice/good guy" Actions speak louder than words.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 49
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/15/2013 4:04:31 PM
I dont even bother after one cancellation. I realize there are true emergencies, but lets face it, there are way too many of them on this site. I too think it is a shame that a few pathetic people with nothing better to do than waste others peoples time ruin it for those who are truly interested in meeting someone.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 50
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/15/2013 4:20:53 PM
I went through a long patch a few years ago, shortly after I started internet dating ... in which I decided I must be a jinx!

Why?

Because EVERY man who made a date with me had a disaster happen to him which prevented him from meeting me ... one's brother had a motorcycle crash; another's mother had a stroke; yet another caught the flu; another's dog was run over; another's child got burned; another's father had a heart attack.

Funny thing was, not one of these men contacted me after the crisis was over!
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 52
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/15/2013 5:52:59 PM
They imagine sweeping you off your feet but as the time draws near they loose their nerve or start feeling ashamed of the things they imagined doing to you. Human imagination is a mixed blessing. It's worse on a dating site which is so removed from reality. Some people go online and just loose touch. You have to weed through them and find the people who can remain real online. It helps if you remain real online and don't let your imagination run away with you. That doesn't sound like a problem in your case. Some people logon and step into an imaginary world of romance and adventure. They get confused. Some are easy to detect. Others more difficult. It would be nice if there were some test you could run on people.
 mjphoto58
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 53
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/19/2013 5:33:42 AM
Women do the same thing. Internet dating is a way to meet people but not the end all. Ive had ladies flake out for simple thinsg. Ive flaked out too. Most women shouldnt need internet dating. A woman can walk into a grocery store and get a date. For men it is a little harder. I quit being consumed about dating. I own two businesses and a full time day job. Not dating saves me money. I plan on traveling in the next two years. I would love to have someone join me but I dont get upset if I dont find someone. Women want security when they get in their 40's. I am very happy with myself and dont need someone elses opinion of me.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 54
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/19/2013 6:20:18 AM
Many men who talk the talk cannot meet in person because they have told too many lies about themselves and their capabilities. For example, the minute a guy talks about his nine inches and how he's gonna give me a hundred orgasms a night I block him. Not because I'm anti sex, but because I know he cannot deliver, so he'll probably stand me up.
 2hotcougar
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 57
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/19/2013 3:36:42 PM
for most men they are married in real life or they just want the chase
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 59
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Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/20/2013 5:53:27 PM

Women do the same thing. Internet dating is a way to meet people but not the end all. Ive had ladies flake out for simple thinsg. Ive flaked out too. Most women shouldnt need internet dating. A woman can walk into a grocery store and get a date. For men it is a little harder. I quit being consumed about dating. I own two businesses and a full time day job. Not dating saves me money. I plan on traveling in the next two years. I would love to have someone join me but I dont get upset if I dont find someone. Women want security when they get in their 40's. I am very happy with myself and dont need someone elses opinion of me.


Preach!!
 pulagroasa
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 61
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/20/2013 7:01:56 PM
Because he's just not that into you
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 65
Why do men make dates and then cancel them?
Posted: 1/21/2013 3:41:53 PM
Now, there's a million dollar question. I met a guy on a different dating site. He not only broke one date, but three. The first time he said it was way too foggy to leave the house (he had less than a 10 minute drive and it was mid aftenoon), the second time we were supposed to go to dinner, one hour before he was to pick me up he called and said he had gotten called into work at the last minute on a Saturday night. The third time he said his mother fell and he had to take her to the ER. Hmmmmm. The next time he called me and asked me out.............I was busy. I'll be busy from now on if he calls again. Enough.


The first time someone cancels a date, I might give them the benefit of the doubt. If that person cancels a date a second time, I would move on. Unless there are extenuating circumstances. Which would be rare. But still possible.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why do men make dates and then cancel them?