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 Pecan3Tan
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 1
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Younger MenPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Now that I would like to date again I find it interesting that most of the men that approach me are all younger than I am. By that I mean between 25 to 28 and while it is nice to have younger men attracted to me, I don't make a habit of dating them. I mostly say a thank you but know thank you because I am at a stage where I would like a mature male.

The issue is that I seem to encounter men that do not have themselves together at our age or older. I'm talking about the basics like a car/truck or a place of their own. I understand going through a hard time so why try to date a women if she has to pick you up all the time and drop you off. So, the funny news is I tried dating a younger guy by a few years but he was just coming out of a relationship and it was a mess. Then I did the much older man dating and they were so overbearing.

I'm kind of stuck in the middle of not know who to date because I had my oldest son tell me that a 25 year old male could be my son. I was floored. No way. Maybe someone has some insight into this. Also, the divorce thing raises some eyebrows. If I say yes to a date, I've had a few guys want to get serious right away. If I say lets take it slow they get all put off so I can't win for losing.
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 2
Younger Men
Posted: 1/9/2013 9:33:26 PM
OP, there's only a few years difference (if you're early-mid 30's) and it means nothing!! I always tend to date men mid-late 20's (including current guy) and it works very well. I only date the ones who have their own place,
good jobs and direction in life. Late 20's guys SHOULD have it together anyway.

If you're both looking for the same thing it can be an amazing connection. It depends on the guy!
I wouldn't think twice about a woman in their 30's dating a guy late 20's (even younger). Especially if you
are fit& look younger. I see it all the time!

I had the same thing happen with a 26 year old guy, he was way too clingy and wanted a serious relationship right away...
Like I said, it depends on the guy.

Btw: Yes, I'd also get tons of mail from younger to much younger guys, you just have to pick out the good ones.
Enjoy it!! I highly recommend dating younger men ;)

Good luck :)
 Pecan3Tan
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 3
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Younger Men
Posted: 1/9/2013 10:39:53 PM
Thank you for the reply I will keep it in mind. The 25 year old does have his own place and job which is where we met. Only minus is his in the process of getting a car. LOL, I told him we could be friends(men hate that) but i would really like him to have his own car to take me out...been there and done the driving men around due to care issues tha never seemed to get resolved then other issues followed.

I think it was nice that after giving me his number which i didn't call a week later he talked to me and slipped in my truck. So I called because most guy just look but don't say a word to me. It's annoying but he put himself out there which was kool. We'll see.
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 4
Younger Men
Posted: 1/9/2013 10:45:02 PM
You're welcome! I'll add that I also only date the ones with cars. Most guys that age do have one, so yeah if they don't it does raise a red flag, lol.

Cheers!
 MundusViator
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 5
Younger Men
Posted: 1/10/2013 3:51:13 AM
Being male, most younger guys that date older than themselves do it for the reasons of an Oedipus complex (where they need a mother's nurturing that they can sleep with-kind of gross to me), they believe that an older female will entail less drama (no such thing, just different types of drama meshing with what a person is willing to put up with), and they're looking for an established paycheck where a woman with a job is thrilled a young guy is actually attracted to her so she reciprocates with sex and prizes-the young guy is "almost" mature (the emotional part of a male's brain doesn't fully develop until he's around 25-so even if his brain has reached that emotional level you date a guy around that age he's at the emotional level of a 1-4 yr old and it takes awhile to adapt through experiences to actually be ready for a true relationship-and yuck...a 1-4 yr old), or you have the rarest of all, the kid is mature, intelligent and knows what he wants in life 100%. Those are rare like unicorns, it takes living to know those things usually and regardless of mode of transportation, job or money-you can't buy real experience, just the facade of experience (fake it until you make it).

So I figure if an older woman wants to be a tricycle of learning for a man-child, cool-have at it. Personally at 39, I couldn't see myself dating someone in their 20's unless they were the unicorn type because I haven't had a child mentality for a really long time. I also don't need the ego boost of a kid wanting in my pants.

It's the same sort of scenario I experienced when I got out of the Army and went to college. I was like wow, these kids know so much about nothing. I couldn't relate to the child-like mentality, and I wasn't much older than most of the other students at the time. Another analogy would be like you're at a dinner party and you see one of the adults go play with a child's toys, and actually do it for their own enjoyment. I understand that mentality about as much as i do a company that goes into business of surgically placing boobs on male boars.
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 6
Younger Men
Posted: 1/10/2013 3:04:05 PM
I do not think there's a "mommy syndrome", lol, unless there's a good 15+ yrs difference. A few years older makes little to no difference. I find many men in their 20's, especially late 20's (just slightly younger than I am) know what they want and have their life together even more so than some men in their 30's! Many men like a woman a bit older because all they're finding in 20-something girls are those who like to party, tons of drama and a lack of confidence. Women a bit older give them the best of both worlds when they're mature AND fit& look younger =)

My current guy is just 5 years younger and you would never guess there was an age difference whatsoever. The connection is not just physical but emotional and it is damn amazing! We want the same things in life and we're definitely a good match for a long term relationship =)

Not to mention the stamina....;))
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 7
Younger Men
Posted: 1/10/2013 5:00:01 PM
I used to date older men when I was in my early 20s and now tend to date younger. It's not that I'm attracted to them because of how old they are but I have interests that are still considered odd or childish for a woman so I have that in common with them. I look younger than I am as well, and while that's not why I date them, I find men my age or older (who aren't creepy pervy) don't approach.

Date who you want. I think that if you get to live the consequences, you have all the say.
 rgvmale
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 8
Younger Men
Posted: 1/10/2013 8:15:44 PM
I don't think 5-7 makes much diff. , especially when they are above 25 or so.
 Dinno76
Joined: 10/28/2015
Msg: 9
Younger Men
Posted: 11/2/2015 5:58:15 PM
I believe that all women in their 30s and 40s maybe even older should only date or be friends with men in their 20's. I hope that happens.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 10
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Younger Men
Posted: 11/3/2015 9:57:11 PM
Is that so you can have all the ladies to yourself dinno? Or are you genuinely looking after the best interest of your dating age bracket? Lol

The question is rhetorical.
 Dinno76
Joined: 10/28/2015
Msg: 11
Younger Men
Posted: 11/5/2015 1:58:16 PM
All the women in their 20s yes. That is why I want all the men in their 20s to all go for the older ladies. Leave the women in their 20s for me.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 12
Younger Men
Posted: 11/7/2015 8:55:38 AM
Younger men are fun for the most part - I love going out with them. One of the nicest ones I met on Tinder last November. He was 23, and had better manners and treated me like gold more than anybody else. Planned dates, paid for everything, talked for hours, just nothing but respect. He was upfront that he wasn't looking for anything serious right from the start, which was fine by me. We didn't even have sex for months, we just enjoyed our friendship. He is gone now, joined the military, but I have nothing but fond memories. Hope he's doing well.

I could have had a "serious relationship" with several men my age, but that would mean giving up dating the younger ones - not quite ready for that yet, so I'll stay single for now.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 13
Younger Men
Posted: 11/11/2015 1:11:30 AM
I am 56.
Spent the weekend sailing with a handsome 33 year old man.
6 foot 2. Charming, fit and strong.
He is solvent, employed with a car, motor bike and a drivers licence.
He contacted me via a paid dating site. Lives near me and wants to learn how to sail.
Charming and gracious.
After a first meet where we enjoyed conversation over a drink or two, I invited him to come for a sail.
He brought wine and did the heavy lifting.
It was so good that I invited him to stay over night with me.
Gave him the choice of being brought back to dry land or stay till tomorrow.
He chose to stay.

No sex. We slept in separate bunks on my boat.
After breakfast I washed the dishes he wiped.

Compare that to the men my age who turn up to a first meet: unwashed, unemployed, expecting to be FB before we finish coffee.
Easy choice.
 MentalGiant58
Joined: 11/6/2015
Msg: 14
Younger Men
Posted: 11/11/2015 4:18:37 AM
Damn, I've only got 1 cal king here and the couch is worn out.

Guess we'll do this at your place...
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 15
Younger Men
Posted: 11/11/2015 5:28:55 AM
....guess I don't qualify for any of these ladies "maturity" requirements: I own a truck. A rusty, old, beat up dodge. Maybe I should go buy this "car" they keep talking about...


Thing is: if I get rejected because I drive this truck, then I don't really care...it's lasted longer than any relationship I've ever been in, so, bye Felicia.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 16
Younger Men
Posted: 11/11/2015 7:07:09 AM

....guess I don't qualify for any of these ladies "maturity" requirements: I own a truck. A rusty, old, beat up dodge. Maybe I should go buy this "car" they keep talking about...


Does it have a Hemmy?

Women love Hemmys.
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 17
Younger Men
Posted: 11/11/2015 3:05:05 PM

Does it have a Hemmy?


Only way this truck will ever have a hemi in it is if I am ever in a terrible traffic accident.

...and it would have to be a pretty terrible accident, too, because I hit a tree at 45 mph and only caused superficial damage. The frame and most of the motor was fine.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 18
Younger Men
Posted: 11/11/2015 4:59:30 PM
mike11092- I'm thinking she just meant you have a vehicle.
People that have cars have a tendency to say car.
I have a beat up FordF150. It has no a/c and it's looks awful, but it gets me from point A to point B, it's paid for and I LOVE it. (the best kind, IMO, paid for and getting from point A to point B, I mean, no a/c isn't much fun, I'm saving up to fix it)
If something upside down, costing me 500 a month in payments, AND 200 in insurance means I'm mature, well......I'm keeping my truck until it stops running.
Paid for is pretty awesome. :)
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 19
Younger Men
Posted: 11/11/2015 6:36:37 PM

Compare that to the men my age who turn up to a first meet: unwashed, unemployed, expecting to be FB before we finish coffee.
Easy choice.


Welcome to the club!
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 20
Younger Men
Posted: 11/11/2015 11:13:41 PM
I could see some unemployed men over 45 show up to a meet. But unwashed and what ever else its a far fetch. If it happened once it don't mean all men are. I do hope that you can put the same thing to older women. does it mean that all old women are??

If I would have just joined the thread I would come away with the opinion that all old men are slobs. So you get them young while they stay nice and clean and drop them as the older they get the worse they get.

That young guy who is going places would be that old guy that been to places. The loser young guy is the same loser old guy. With the reasoning that some old women use on here about old men does this apply to old women as well??
I know plenty of old women that got nothing going for them and nothing ever did. It never crossed my mind to think that all women are like that. Now most of the good ones are paired up and there are less of them out there. But that goes same for the women. Are going to tell me that all the old women on here are just old Hags .
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 21
Younger Men
Posted: 11/12/2015 2:10:31 AM
LAgoodguy.
I wish it was only once.
Sadly not.
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 22
Younger Men
Posted: 11/12/2015 4:42:01 AM

With the reasoning that some old women use on here about old men does this apply to old women as well??


Ah...you know...now that I think about it...I don't feel so bad about my truck.

Know plenty of women my age, single or otherwise, that do not possess a vehicle of their own. Perhaps THAT is the reason they look for men with a car...
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 23
Younger Men
Posted: 11/12/2015 8:02:13 AM

If I would have just joined the thread I would come away with the opinion that all old men are slobs. So you get them young while they stay nice and clean and drop them as the older they get the worse they get.


I often times get accused of "bashing" older men, so I'll jump in here. I have gone on dates with (slightly) older men, and I have nothing bad to say about them. They showed up clean, dressed nicely, were friendly, but I just didn't click with them. Many of them seemed too uptight and formal, or were expecting to be in a insta-relationship right away. I don't like to be pinned down like that after just one date. A lot of men my age or older also want to talk on the phone instead of texting - I HATE talking on the phone, especially with someone I hardly know. I prefer texting, messaging or best, talking in person. In that respect, I can relate much better to younger men.

There are very handsome older men, especially black gentlemen. They age really well, have great skin, style, and are just fun. Sadly, in general, they are flakier than their younger counter parts and just seem to want to talk, but can't get themselves to meet up in person. Very frustrating, and after two weeks of messaging and no sign of a date set up, I'm moving on.

I'm really excited to see my 44 year old male friend again soon. I'm hoping it will turn into more, and he is definitely NOT my usual type. He used to be an extremely handsome guy when he was young, and he still is, but the stress of his job has taken its toll. He needs to lose a little weight and take care of himself better (already had a heart attack last year). Maybe I like a project, because I can totally see myself getting him back into shape and clue him into eating healthier - that's my passion in life. So despite him not being a physical knock-out like many younger men I know, he is a pleasure to be around, he is fun and confident, and has a commanding presence. He also used to live in Germany, so we have lots to talk about and reminisce. Just thought I'd throw that in, since I get accused of "chasing" young men all the time.
 MentalGiant58
Joined: 11/6/2015
Msg: 24
Younger Men
Posted: 11/12/2015 8:32:34 AM
Ya know, you gals might meet unemployed and filthy men and I'm meeting the uninsured and not living alone.

It's a wash.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 25
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Younger Men
Posted: 12/13/2015 8:12:54 AM
This thread is way old. Op is probably long gone by now. But... For what it's worth, in my experience, younger men can be way more mature than older men. Most older men I know have been in long term marriages (no where near ready to to get hitched again) and have young children. Their younger counter parts don't share in that experience.

Personally I won't date men older than me. It hasn't worked out well for me in the past. I've found that older men tend to be more over bearing (like op mentioned), controlling and are trying to play the field like their 22 making up for lost time they spent in their marriages and having toddlers with much younger women!

Ive had more older men contact me wanting to do the FWB thing (while they themselves are out of shape and unattractive) then younger men, who everyone one on here likes to claim younger guys are in it for sex!

Yes, being with a younger man probably won't get you paid vacations to The Bahamas or a new Benz every year for Christmas but you will get someone who is eager to share in your life and experiences, someone to have fun with and who might more closer match your activity level/attractiveness.
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