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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?      Home login  
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 Indira46
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 2
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What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I like your profile.

As for your messages...how long are they?
They should be 3-4 sentences. Comment on their profile and ask a question about one of their interests.
Do not say message me back or anything like that. Always end in a question. I do this, and I have never once not received a reply.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 3
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What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?
Posted: 1/10/2013 10:36:36 AM
Hi Jen,

As you probably know men are very visual, mush more than women. So the photos are one of the most important things when trying to attract a man to you profile. You profile pic is ok, but the rest have you with other people. We want to see you, not all your friends and family. Try and have more photos with just you in, and where the focus is just one you.

You're text is ok, but maybe needs to be spiced up a bit. I kind of read it and thought 'ya she's nice' rather than 'wow I must message her to date her'. Try and add more that shows your off to be fun and exciting and why any guy reading it should message you rather than the thousands of others on this site.

I would remove some of the messaging restrictions, too many can be off putting even to guys who meet your criteria. I actually would have messaged you to say hi, but I don't live within 75 miles of you.


Basically make yourself sound fun, flirty and sexy, and yes you can be sexy without offering sex


Hope that's helpful
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 11
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What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?
Posted: 1/10/2013 4:56:13 PM
The written part is really good. I didn't see it before you made changes. I think the only issue is you need to get just one close up head and shoulders (well to the bottom of your beautiful hair) shot that isn't blurry or with any people. It's okay to also keep the photos you have.

Firefly
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 13
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What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?
Posted: 1/12/2013 1:38:01 AM
It's your looks, there's no other polite way to put it. Most attractive women on here could write diddly-daddly-doo in their profile and they would still get a never-ending stream of incoming messages. What this means is that your better option is to be more social in an outside setting where you're not defined by a still photograph. Everybody has beauty but first we have to find the eye of the beholder.

I don't know what else to tell you, but you could try getting a makeover. New hairstyle, maybe some contacts or a different style of glasses.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 15
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What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:39:30 AM
ignore daylseeper being a troll, you look fine :)
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 16
What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:54:50 AM
That is a valid point, though. For most people, a visual attraction is the first hurdle. If they - for whatever reason - are not visually interested, they won't proceed. Just as not all the guys on this site are your idea of a Greek God, it works both ways. So what? That's the whole point of having a variety of profiles to view.

I personally don't find you other than 'average' but I'm obviously not your target audience. The photos were all a bit dark and I wonder if photos in daylight would be more flattering. Look at me - I'm almost double your age and way chunkier, yet my profile photo when I was looking was a clear shoulders up head shot and I had no problem getting messages or responses. (It may also be that the men in my age range aren't as spazzy as most of the guys in your range)

The Interests were varied and specific, which is good. The profile body was OK.

Keep in mind also that as you've been here now a little while the 'new fish' smell has worn off. You may want to 'reinvent' yourself with a new username and a fresh main photo to appear 'new' again. Someone who overlooked you previously may see you in a new light.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 18
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What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?
Posted: 1/12/2013 9:19:41 AM
Umh.. the profile is fine as is. The outdoor photos with people are alright. There's no reason to head towards something you're not. It's a good sign you have a bunch of comments.

The way I'd look at this is what are your strengths and how to emphasize them. okay-- stable, great location with wonderful outdoors, funky attractive look, gets outdoors a bunch. You could make a longer list -- and an accurate one.

Better profile shots are no glasses, relaxed, great light, not a busy background, not the same look several times. No other people in most photos. You've done that mostly. Maybe stick on that for a while and just find new photos, update every couple of weeks or days. See what brings in responses. Add captions. I'd probably remove mom and friends from most photos. Its just a bit too much like someone might break down and bake pie. That may happen- and be wonderful- but get that photo instead.

Bare arms, plunging neckline, bare shoulder and clavicle, hair cascading onto a long back. long leg, rounded buttock, some curves.--- these are good in small doses. Don't stint on being a girl, this is a 'girl for sale' zone. ( That sounds so gay - I'm not- trust me )

Now for the part that may be ignored... Dressing seductive or trollopsome may work, but its iggy.. Anne Hatheway did not mean to be skanky getting out of her car for the red carpet. It was a happy (for me at least) accident. There's no reason to shoot for that photo but heading directly the opposite direction isn't good. Men's clothing styles, like bagging shorts, or pants.. they're meant for men's physiques. A dating site is a good place to be definitely unambiguously female from even a fragment of a photo. Do not hide curves. Maybe look for something layered that has a great fitting blouse or something like that underneath. A few glimpses of other aspects help. NOt those weird bathroom photos with a butt in our face, but maybe something less than elegant as a simple casual photo- lacing shoes in a great pair of well fitting shorts and a light top.. simple pics.

I'd also consider reducing restrictions and adding more shareable interests. Maybe look for the top 100 interests online,. if that exists- or hunt with a passion. Build a place in the community and make what you are clearer so compatibles can find you with ease.
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 19
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What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:39:36 PM
I'm not a troll and I'm not mean. I gave you what no one else had the guts to give you, which was an unfiltered and unambiguous answer to your question. Why weren't guys writing back to you? Well, I told you the truth. Anyone who thinks for a minute that it had anything to do with the written content of your profile doesn't understand men at all.

You know what? You look much better now with the new 'do. It brings out your eyes, shows off your lips and gives you a cute appearance. Pic #5 looks like a totally different woman from what I saw in your previous pics. I see a pretty face that guys are going to notice now. There's a reason why makeovers are such a popular feature on daytime talk shows.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 20
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What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?
Posted: 1/12/2013 1:09:56 PM
daysleeper you are a complete idiot. No you're not a troll. Those people are saying spastic things as a ruse to encourage controversy. Its trolling because its fake, as in a lure for fish is fake food. Did you need that explained? Trolls know they are spouting nonsense - they are baiting.

You are absolutely unaware of the 10th level nonsense you're vomiting onto threads. Yes -- thank you very much for observing that you're not a troll. Still -wake up, try to grasp relationships 010 before you provide guidance.
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 25
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What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?
Posted: 1/12/2013 1:49:02 PM
Hey privat33r, I read your post and you were communicating the same message as me but unlike you, I get right to the point. What's done is done and in the end, she got the makeover and she'll reap the rewards. Not just on here, but I think she'll see the difference on the sidewalk.

It gets to a point in this section where nobody wants to acknowledge the obvious because they're afraid of saying the wrong thing. Well, to me, the wrong thing is to keep people in the dark. When a guy who's 5-foot-4 keeps wondering aloud why women won't respond to him and everybody says this and that about his interests or messages without saying the magic word, "short," then I feel bad for him because nobody wants to say it. So, I'll say it so at least he's know what's up. Not because I'm mean and certainly not because I'm an idiot. I know all too well what the deal is with these dating sites and if you're not realistic, then you're setting yourself up for constant rejection. The best gift we can give people who want to be honest with themselves on here, is the truth. Anything less is the real insult.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 28
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What would stop you from messaging me or responding to a message?
Posted: 1/12/2013 2:38:44 PM
To me this area is about hope that others can catch that hint of disbelief that pre-stages chaotic involvement with someone else. I don't think its nice to encourage folk that way, but its why I'm here.

The OP has a bunch of the charactheristics of the redhead in the Wendy's commercials. I don't mean that as a compliment at all. Wendy's-girl had videos on the net. Likely gone now. Crazy junk in clown costumes with big glasses and huge props, just funking around with her buds. Someone saw something in that. That person was a soul of vision. What would you think about them pre-famous? if you saw the chick who played the sis in Ferris Bueuller, the girl who went on to play Baby cross from whate-everhis-name is.. This place is full of raw people. Its not so easy to see how they might be awesome, but its wonderous to imagine.

So I dangle suggestions, "the lava is hot,.. but just hover about it, loosen a few buttons, then the salamanders will be able to reach up but not quite touch". Is it any surprise they don't like these? They're not-- "okay- yeah-- sure-- where was my propane torch, crepe gown and vaseline??"
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