Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 gentleheartguy
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 1
view profile
History
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues TextingPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Great wonderful woman finds my profile and writes and we have a lot in common being single parents and our work background and interest in other cultures from having traveled a lot. She's the first to call me on New Year's Day and we talked for a long time (about an hour and a half, way longer than I probably should have for a first time phone call but we seemed to talk easily). Then we began a few texts back and forth over the past week and I've tried calling her and each time getting her voice mail and telling her she can call me back. She apologizes in a text that her phone was in her purse and another time asleep and so that's why she didn't get my call. Am I being too unreasonable to expect her to call back after a few days, after I've left a few voice mails?

MAIN POINT: Do women really want/expect men to hound them with phone calls, texts, and emails to show they're interested? In this case, I believe she knows it already, I've texted nice good morning messages and wrote a few short emails as well during the week.

QUESTION:

So how much before you (to men) do before you give up on someone who seems promising but doesn't call back but continues responding to texts?

(To women) Do guys have to prove their interest by calling over and over like love-starved puppies?

We aren't kids anymore as she and I are both in our late forties and I, for one, want to see she has interest too by returning my phone calls, not just texts. No, we haven't met up yet but basically, in my book, if I've called a woman two or three times and left voice mail and she doesn't bother to call back, then I'm done and moving on. Texting is not getting to know each other.

It is hard, I will admit, as a single FULLTIME father to find someone and she was a single FULLTIME mother with a daughter about the same age as mine and she would be the type of woman I would like to find but I'm running into the fact that many women my age have been through being a mother as their kid(s) is/are grown as there aren't many out there (in my area) that have kids at or around my daughter's age or younger.
 SouthernMoonstone
Joined: 9/14/2012
Msg: 2
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/10/2013 7:19:22 PM
She knows you are interested. I would back off a little and let her initiate some of those texts or calls. If she is really interested in pursuing something with you, she should make some of the effort also.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 3
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/10/2013 7:22:44 PM
You are in the text zone.

Which means.....for whatever reason.....
you are being kept at arms length.

Reply to her texts...if any.
But keep looking for another girl.
Maybe if whoever she is focusing on now...
doesn't pan out...
she will actually speak on the phone.
Don't wait or hope for that though.

good luck.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 4
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/10/2013 7:23:41 PM
You have sufficiently illustrated that you are interested.
Now it is time to restrain yourself so you don't appear overbearing.
Too much of a good thing isn't good...
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 5
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/10/2013 7:23:49 PM
Text her/call her back and ask if you can set up an in-person meeting so you can see if you hit it off human to human. If she agrees to meet, she is interested...if hems and haws, thank her for her time and move on. It is possible she is a) not really interested or b) not really available.
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 6
view profile
History
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/10/2013 7:29:53 PM

She apologizes in a text


That doesn't look good - she texts you excuses and never calls. Either she's waaay more into texting than calling or she's really isn't as interested in you as you are in her. (but then again, I have no idea what her character is like)

You're going to have to ask her to find out.
 sN0Flakes
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 7
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/10/2013 7:41:26 PM

MAIN POINT: Do women really want/expect men to hound them with phone calls, texts, and emails to show they're interested? In this case, I believe she knows it already, I've texted nice good morning messages and wrote a few short emails as well during the week.


It takes very little lack of reciprocation for me to lose interest. If you are "hounding" them....you are "that guy"....the one that can't take a hint.
 onecoolM8
Joined: 12/1/2012
Msg: 8
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/10/2013 7:49:50 PM
Time to move on dude , I see a couple of reasons why, if she was interested she would be communicating with you more, the fact she doesn't call you back only texting, either means she doesn't like chatting on the phone, or shes with someone and cannot call, maybe she is living with the ex in separate rooms or worse they share the same bed but they haven't been intimate since Micheal Jackson when he was alive and black.

I suggest putting her on the back burner and continue meeting other women, dont focus all of your attention with this one woman.
 nilewaters
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 9
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 1:00:27 AM
Quite simply, she's dating someone else right now but want to keep you around or interested till shes ready.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 10
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 2:48:10 AM
It sounds like you're being played. She has you hooked and she's working on somebody else. Quit calling her and move on. Lifes too short for head games.
 RWAble032
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 11
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 11:25:48 AM
Sounds familiar.
Some people just do not like prolonged texting or email sand prefer to move it to phone calls. Sounds like you have a situation the other way around.
When someone gets around to giving me their phone number and actually suggesting a time to call, that's good.

I put more weight on the context of phone calls and messages. Are they engaging me in a conversation leading somewhere or just killing a few spare minutes on the smartphone? Someone who is not responding in a way that says they actually read or listened and are inquisitive, is showing me they are not interested in me personally but like to chat and be pen pals.

Even if I get a reply but it totally passes over saying yes or no to a direct offer to talk on the phone within a specific time frame, then I have to think they are not interested enough no matter how well things seemed to go prior to this, even if we did manage at least one prior phone conversation.
 beachluvr78
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 12
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 2:02:19 PM
OK I'll just add my 2 cents... you stated that the first phone call was an hour and a half. That's a looooong call, and I know it takes two to tango, as I'm sure she was just as blabby as you were during that hour and a half, but when you subsequently called her, it's possible she thought to herself, "OMG I do NOT have an hour and a half right now to talk to this guy." And so she texted you because that might have fit into her time schedule better.

Who knows if she is really interested or not? An earlier poster said to back off a little and let her text with you or let her call you, and I agree with that.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 13
view profile
History
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 2:40:50 PM
Lmao......My son would be telling you that those that are on the phone calling all the time are the strange ones and should consider texting more!!

I am one that texts a minimum amount and if there is more than two text messages, I just rather pick up the phone and call. Now saying that, I am also one that does not believe that the phone should be attached to my ear, and if there are longer conversations happening, it better be because you are family, friend, or relationship that lives a long distance from me. I prefer face to face time, and only use texting and phoning as a tool to do things that face to face can not do at that time.

I much prefer to get an email, over a texts or calls that go on and on, and stops me from doing what I am doing or planned to do. I can always check an email at my convenience and respond accordingly.

cd
 beachluvr78
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 14
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 2:44:32 PM
c_deacon, I hear ya and I understand you are saying you are not comfortable with texting as a way to communicate. So... how do you handle things if the woman you are interested in PREFERS to text as a way to communicate?
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 15
view profile
History
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 3:25:56 PM
Good question Beach....

Open and frank communications with that person, hopefully face to face about what is preferred and what is not, what is acceptable and what is not, and where are the areas of compromise!

If someone prefers to text me, that is their way and I would not change that, just explain that if they text me, do not expect a text back immediately, and maybe one text many hours later that combines all of their texts into one reply. The same would go for calling......call if you want, but understand that I may not answer and it will go to voice mail, and that would be listened to and a response some time reasonable and agreed to, by the both of us.

Email could be looked at in the same way, and when you put all three forms of communication together, I bet there is enough room to find what is workable, and what is not.......and if not, then you were not meant to even try.

cd
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 16
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 3:56:18 PM
Texting as far as communication is very poor communication. Texting has its good points but not as far as typing and not talking on phone
 Lone_Lion
Joined: 11/29/2012
Msg: 17
view profile
History
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 4:58:11 PM
Brilliant!!!!! That? what I wanted to say.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 18
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 6:08:07 PM
Try just straight up asking her out...That will answer your question
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 19
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 6:17:39 PM
I agree with messages 9 & 10

She's just keeping you warm on the back burner in case her current flame burns out!
She's not allowing you to call her because she doesn't want a telephone trail to appear on her phone that she might have to explain if her present suitor finds out!

Just move on man, she is jerking you around!
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 20
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/11/2013 10:40:07 PM
She gave you a reason she didn't answer the call.
Perhaps in her mind recalling "anytime" wasn't an option, but specific to that phone call.
Perhaps she doesn't want to talk with her child around.
Perhaps she dislikes talking on the phone with someone she hasn't met, or talking on the phone in general.
Perhaps you are impatient and controlling.
Perhaps she has someone else.
Perhaps she's not as interested as you are.
Perhaps talking on the phone is more intimate than she wants to be right now.
 TeachingPro06
Joined: 7/18/2010
Msg: 21
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/12/2013 1:15:16 AM
Sounds like you've been 'friend zoned'. I had a similar situation with a female I was interested in and there were mutual feelings at first. We talked several time on the phone, then when I would call, she would not answer or call back, but she would send a text like "I'm just getting home", or "sitting down to dinner" and she would always say she'd call back. She never did. After a while, I simply backed off and stopped calling because I knew where it was headed...
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 22
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/12/2013 1:51:50 PM
From what I have been hearing about the ratio of men to women . The woman is probably chatting with 10+ guys at once.
If all she want to do is chat on and on , red flag?
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 23
view profile
History
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/12/2013 5:03:11 PM
does a woman like to be "hounded" with repeated text messages and emails?
NO!...

i'm with others on this one...
if the lady in question is really interested in you as a prospective date you would certainly know by now.

back off with the contact then call her in a week or so.
if you don't excite her interest by then?
don't waste any more of your time and MOVE ON.
her loss huh?...
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 24
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/12/2013 5:09:08 PM
This is why I figure every texter as being a game player.

Dammit, where were you to tell me this when I met my ex?
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 25
When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting
Posted: 1/12/2013 6:42:48 PM
Urgh. Sorry to hear that, joetm. I guess that makes us fellow club members!

Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > When a Woman Doesn't Return Calls But Continues Texting