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 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 1
More of a Not Dating Experience Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
OK- I was contacted by this man a little over a week ago here on POF. We traded emails back and forth a few times and then we talked on the phone. We seemed to have much in common and we had a nice conversation. He asked me out for tonight. We were going to meet at a restaurant that is local to where he lives.

Well last night I noticed all his emails to me had disappeared. Then I couldn’t find his profile. It seems he either hid it or deleted it.

I sent him a text to confirm our date but he didn’t respond. This morning I left him a voice mail, which he also didn’t respond to. I didn’t go to the restaurant but I’m pretty such he didn’t show up.

I understand if he changed his mind (for whatever reason) – but, please send an email or text to say you can’t make it.
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 2
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:22:28 PM
yes, sending an e mail or text would be what a respectful secure person would do.
but this is the on line dating world.
you never know who that person is until you meet,....and then you still dont know for a while.
 SweetHeartedLady
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 3
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:28:14 PM
Something odd about him.

I'm happy you did catch on and did not go to the restaurant to be stood up.

You did nothing wrong.. something was OFF with him.

I hope the next one is 'normal' and 'sweet'..

Blessings..
 Mikare
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 4
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:31:21 PM
I have come to believe over reaction is normal for a lot on online daters...just role with it.. . I'm trying to find spots to meet that I -if needed- could enjoy alone...
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 5
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:36:35 PM
Ummm…Starting to think there are no normal, sweet single men. Sorry guys, don’t mean to “man-bash” but based on personal experience after experience; I’m finding more and more men just don’t have any integrity. I don’t think I’m asking for a lot; just be decent.
 HappyTexasgal77
Joined: 11/8/2012
Msg: 6
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:49:12 PM
Something similar happened to me. I had a connection with a guy, we chatted and hit off. We planned to meet and he texts me saying he had to fly out of town for worn. Later in the day he said after we talked the night before he had a very very close friend (female) that he was on the phone with for over 6 hours, three hours she was crying and the next day his profile on POF was gone and I never heard from him again. He said he was a workaholic and single...complete BS!!! At least I found out before we met in person.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 7
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:54:01 PM
Something similar happened to me. I had a connection with a guy, we chatted and hit off. We planned to meet and he texts me saying he had to fly out of town for worn. Later in the day he said after we talked the night before he had a very very close friend (female) that he was on the phone with for over 6 hours, three hours she was crying and the next day his profile on POF was gone and I never heard from him again. He said he was a workaholic and single...complete BS!!! At least I found out before we met in person.
________________________________________________________________________________
At least he contacted you with a lame excuse. :)
 HappyTexasgal77
Joined: 11/8/2012
Msg: 8
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 8:05:41 PM
Lol, true. I never found out if he made his flight back or not though. The last message he said was heading to the airport and hoping to catch the last flight.

I have no idea, but I suspect he has and got caught.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 9
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 8:15:13 PM
A young coworker of mine had a first meet last week in which she went to his apartment building and he didn't come out. She texted him that she was there and then emailed him on POF, but he just wouldn't come out. She waited 20 minutes and left. Hate to hear those kinda things, and terrible considering she just went through one rejection (breakup) from a longer relationship right before Christmas. People are just horrible sometimes. I told her that (from reading these forums) it happens all of the time on meets from dating sites. I hope it helped.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 10
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 8:40:50 PM
There can be many reason why he did what he did. Who cares why he did what he did. Pick a reason that would make you feel the best and with it. Part of online dating, Pick the next one...
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 11
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 10:43:00 PM
It has absolutely ZERO to do with being online, the Internet, texting, or POF.

People who do that do it everywhere and under every circumstance. If you had met the same guy at a bar, a club, an office party - traded phone numbers and texted each other to set up an actual date - he'd do the very same thing. You texts and calls would be blocked, voice mail deleted unanswered.

This type of non date happens frequently in "the real world" - the only difference is there's no documentation. No list of "facts" about this ghost of a date. In years past, maybe you'd have a photograph a friend gave you of this "guy", or a phone number, or the address where he is supposed to work.

A no-show is a no-show. People are reliable or they aren't, it's that simple. A liar will lie to your face, your friends, your family, you boss, the police, the judge, his doctor, his priest - in letters or voice mail....it's all the same.

I once made a date via email with a woman who was on vacation overseas. In fact, she was in Australia - on the other side of the world. She planned to be back home in a few weeks and we set the date for that time. Wonder of wonders - she showed up for the date.

People are reliable or they are not. The Internet has nothing to do with it.
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 12
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 10:52:36 PM
Welcome to the world of internet dating :)
 benita50
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 13
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/11/2013 10:57:46 PM
I Swear by web cam's,,Skype, Yahoo Messenger, etc,,,saves soooo much BS
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 14
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 3:22:24 AM

Starting to think there are no normal, sweet single men


Well, first thing is that you are shooting a little high with your expectations of us guys. Sweet AND normal????? Yeah, you probably are best to hope for one or the other,not both.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 15
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More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 6:59:27 AM

I Swear by web cam's,,Skype, Yahoo Messenger, etc,,,saves soooo much BS


Wow....you've promoted your desire to web cam in so many threads in here now, it's almost like you were advertising a business, just sayin'.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 16
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More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:03:49 AM
I disagree with Aintnodeal.

I think that without meeting in person, men often don't seem to realise that we are real human beings not just words on a screen.

I have had exactly the same thing happen to me many many times on internet dating and as others have said, it does seem to be part and parcel. The trick is, don't get TOO excited about or attached to a man especially before you meet.

I wonder if a man would be LESS likely to do this to us if we insisted on having their home address before agreeing to a date?
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 17
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:14:39 AM
I wonder if a man would be LESS likely to do this to us if we insisted on having their home address before agreeing to a date?


For safety reasons, this is not advisable for men or women. I certainly wouldn't agree to meet a stranger who insisted on knowing where I lived. I didn't even give out my last name until I'd met a man in person and determined that I wanted to continue seeing him.
 LongtermOnly1977
Joined: 11/28/2012
Msg: 18
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:43:58 AM
Same happened to me last week. Great e-mails. Great phone convos. Asking me for a date. And then disappearing from the face of the earth without any explanation.

Were we communicating with the same guy by any chance? lol. Seems unlikely but you never know. ha ha ha
 Soshogun
Joined: 1/4/2012
Msg: 19
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:53:54 AM
You've had a bad experience with a man who is most probably not who he claimed to be. It is rather unfortunate but be thankful that you did not get involved with him only to find out that he was married or, more likely, not the guy you saw in the photos! Move on and keep looking. There are a lot of liars, cheaters and hucksters out there, but do not despair, there are decent men out there also.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 20
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More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:37:56 AM

Ummm…Starting to think there are no normal, sweet single men. Sorry guys, don’t mean to “man-bash” but based on personal experience after experience; I’m finding more and more men just don’t have any integrity. I don’t think I’m asking for a lot; just be decent.

There was a similar thread a while back, and one poster said that she had a same experience, than she found out that the guy died.
Soooooo...
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 21
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:44:52 AM
If they start off with deception you can't seriously believe they possess an ounce of politeness. You were played by a married or attached dude seeking nothing more than the ego boost of being able to attract a woman. A simple fix which will make the gamesters irrelevant is to keep your options open. No harm morally or otherwise to chat with talk to & even set up 1st meets with others.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 22
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 11:57:44 AM
After reading so many similar stories here by women, I 'd have to say they are married and are only in it for a limited chase!
_______________________________________________________________________________
My Bad – I’m usually pretty good at spotting the married/attached ones - but I guess this was just a rank amateur move on my part. :)
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 23
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 11:59:55 AM

After reading so many similar stories here by women, I 'd have to say they are married and are only in it for a limited chase!
_______________________________________________________________________________
My Bad – I’m usually pretty good at spotting the married/attached ones - but I guess this was just a rank amateur move on my part. :)


Just curious: Did he have a picture on his profile?
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 24
More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:03:47 PM
Just curious: Did he have a picture on his profile?

________________________________________________________________________________
Yes – He had a picture and well written profile. Also, he had had his profile up for sometime.
 lobo65
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 25
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More of a Not Dating Experience
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:15:04 PM
It's not just men who do this kind of thing. I was talking to a woman for awhile, and trying to set up a meeting. Out of the blue she messaged me to tell me that she was going back to her ex, who was a former meth addict. The kicker was that he was the father of her 6 y/o daughter, and she wanted to give the girl the best chance for a "normal" family life. I told her not to come crying to me when that comes back to bite her in the butt. Guess I dodged a bullet there, luckily.
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