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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..      Home login  
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 GabbyLeigh
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 1
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
The man I have been dating has no doubt how I feel about him but he show's no interest in me what so ever..The only time he makes for me is the short time we have together in bed..When he's done that's is..I try to be playful and flirt with him and he just pushes me away..I'm so tired of being rejected by him..He says he loves me and I half way want to believe him..I know I am just wasting my time with him..I just want to know why he acts the may he does.. I am the very last thing on his list.Just fed up!!!!
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 2
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:02:12 PM
youre just another girl for this guy. anytime a guy doesnt have time for anything besides sex, thats all he wants from you. hes probably just saying he loves you to placate you. here are threads on these forums where people talk about men who say pretty much anything to get a girl into bed. hes just not into you aside from an occasional sex partner.

if you were actually fed up, you wouldnt be here posting about this stuff, youd just quit talking to the guy.
 Hotmerlot
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 3
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:02:59 PM
I've met these guys as well. I'm assuming that he is around your age (and mine) and still doesn't want to commit.

If he is not going to be the man in your life then toss him back in the ocean. Time is short is he is wasting space in your life.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 4
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:03:50 PM
was he this way when you started dating?

does he have lots of distractions?

maybe he is old fashioned? thinks he can't show affection?


was he hurt by someone?
 GabbyLeigh
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 5
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:04:50 PM
I'm to that point now. Really.
 GabbyLeigh
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 6
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:07:29 PM
Yes he has been hurt by someone.He is 6 years older than me.. In the beginning he laid it on thick making me think he really wanted to be with me and do lots of things together..Now it's hard to even get a phone call from him.
 Cheskat37
Joined: 12/25/2012
Msg: 7
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:20:41 PM
RUN with a capital R.... This guy sounds alot like a vaccum cleaner.. Sucks in the energy gives little back.. Some times are good with plenty of lows between.. Sounds like he isn't capable of having a healthy relationship. Be it ''The love avoidant" or he is simply not mature enough to know what he is looking for. Remember you can not fix him but you can try talking to him. If he really values you he may come around and be more considerate to your feelings but be prepared to walk or this can become a visous cycle...Gotta love yourself better then him... hope this helps
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 8
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:20:43 PM
Let's put it this way. If he DID love you, he wouldn't be treating you that way.

A more helpful question for you would be, why do you think you deserve to be treated this way, and why are you settling for scraps?
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 9
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:23:04 PM
u r pretty, lucky enuf to be able to be picky- dump him & get with someone who is really good to you...
also profile review, use the more conservative pics & take out the photoshopped ones...
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 10
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:26:09 PM
As they say - Never make another person a priority when you are only an option to them. This man sounds like he is being very unkind to you. Do you think you deserve that???
 GabbyLeigh
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 11
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:27:23 PM
It's just that we have been together for two years not.I do care about him..He tells me he cares about me.I know what we have is not right.When I try to walk away he always talks me into staying .He will do better for about a week or so and then it's right back to the same ole crap..It's a long distance relationship. He can not see me for weeks and then when we finally do get to see one another he will sit all the way across the room from me..Turn his back to me at night until he wants to have something to do with me.
I've talked to him about my feelings but I'm just tired of beating a dead horse now.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 12
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:28:15 PM
The famous line....

"He's not that into you".

Time to move on.
 ForumsGee
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 13
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:30:19 PM
I like cheskats answer... I agree with what she thinks - Moooove on... because he is the rat and you are the mouse, he is playing with you...

(I've been there, done that) won't happen to me again! get rid of him and save your self esteem
 imanew1
Joined: 9/19/2012
Msg: 14
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:33:50 PM
you are just a toy to him sorry to say but your are pretty so find a better man by the sounds of it you got a nut you pick men like i pick women lol you can always find a man to treat you bad so you not losing anything if you kick him out . any person that treats the other person like that is already looking for something better and is keeping you around till he find's it
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 15
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:34:23 PM
It's apparent to me that all he wants from you are those short times you spend together in bed. So what if he says he loves you? It's what they DO that really counts.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 16
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:35:30 PM
Gabby,why are you putting up with the disrespect? There are dozens of men in your area that would probably walk on broken glass to have a beautiful gal like you at their side. Never allow a person to keep you at arms length this way. Your love, attention and company are a gift that he does not deserve. His actions are telling you the truth, his words are lies.
Walk away now and the right man will will come into your life.
 Cheskat37
Joined: 12/25/2012
Msg: 17
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:37:04 PM
Oh sweetheart, this is so sad. I speak from experence here. This man will never give you the intimacy your looking for based on what you said just right there.. Don't let two years turn into eight only to discover one day he's been living a double life and not the man you thought he was.
 GabbyLeigh
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 18
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:37:31 PM
Good advise.. Thank you
 Hotmerlot
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 19
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:42:49 PM
It's okay to have expectations from the man in your life. You are knock out gorgeous, well spoken and loyal. I can tell that from here.

He needs to be dumped. It will teach him some humility.

That two years together will soon turn into three, four, five and on and on and you will be stuck with a self absorbed fool
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 20
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:45:28 PM
It's not the long distance. It's that he doesn't care.

I'm in a long-distance relationship, and the two long weekends a month (roughly) that we do see each other, I couldn't pry him away from me if I tried.

Don't clutter your life up with a man who doesn't love you, if you want to make room for one who does.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 21
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:47:30 PM
If it were him being treated the way you are, he would be out in a New York minute. Have some self respect and kick his bottom to the curb. Love should not hurt...remember that. Trust me if it's going this way now, it doesn't get better. Dont settle when you can have it all.. Best wishes
 freshstartbraveheart
Joined: 11/9/2012
Msg: 22
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:48:30 PM

It's just that we have been together for two years not.I do care about him..He tells me he cares about me.I know what we have is not right.


Don’t get stuck with someone just because you’ve invested years. Two years of this can easily turn to three, four, five etc. He has shown you who he is and wants to be in the relationship. If you stay because you believe he has the possibility to be better because of they way he treated you in the beginning, you will be wasting your time.

I’ve been with someone like this. He will never be that attentive, affectionate man that he was in the beginning. It isn’t you, something is broken in him. If you don’t believe me, leave him. If he comes back, he’ll pile it on thick but it won’t last. I give it a week, a month tops and then it’s back to complacency and ignoring you until he wants sex.

Shoot. I just realized I wrote the bolded part, not having finished reading this part.
When I try to walk away he always talks me into staying .He will do better for about a week or so and then it's right back to the same ole crap..It's a long distance relationship. He can not see me for weeks and then when we finally do get to see one another he will sit all the way across the room from me..Turn his back to me at night until he wants to have something to do with me.
I've talked to him about my feelings but I'm just tired of beating a dead horse now.


I could see this coming a mile away. Get out now, he is not going to change.
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 23
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:55:18 PM
Hmmm???? You have a delimma.
The first is obviously that you seem to be more interested in someone than they are you. It happens. Not much you can do about it but either accept it and continue dating while hoping his feelings for you will develop, or end it and go your own way. Given that you're sleeping with him though...it's a little late to making that decision.

The biggest question you'll have to answer for yourself is are you interested in him because of his way of rejecting you, and would you be into him as much if he was totally into you and didn't seem to reject you.

Now...why is he acting that way? Either he's actually NOT really into you, or he knows that you'd lose interest in him if he really acted interested in you.

It's the perfect "push/pull" and he's purposefully, or accidently playing you like a fiddle.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 24
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:58:34 PM
Situations that halfway function are rare; they become less common. Its tempting to say- toss that turkey out on the turnpike,. ., its the consensus. While I've no particular sympathy for dudes that aren't trying- it can be particularly trying to deal with manipulation and ,..moderate extortion, inquisition, prodding, probing - the probes are the worst.
 GabbyLeigh
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 25
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What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 7:41:36 PM
It's really sad to read all of this...It's a real eye opener..I know what I need to do..It has to be done.I was alone for ten years before I trusted another man in my life.Sure as I do I get done this way.I'm not scared to be alone for sure.I think I have been more lonely being with him than I was actually being along..Does that make any sense.. Thank you all for your response...He's rang my phone twice while I have been reading these replies.I don't really care what he is thinking right now.. I must do this and let him go for myself. I know I deserve to be loved the way I love him. I told him this just last week.
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