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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Do some men need a little push to get things going?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 3
Do some men need a little push to get things going?Page 1 of 1    
You can take the bull by the horns and be assertive yourself in terms of establishing a first meeting / first date.
If you alternatively wish to give him the easy layup, simply say, "An assertive guy who makes plans is attractive."
Either path should make a first meeting / first date happen in short order!
 BountyHunterMichael
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 6
Do some men need a little push to get things going?
Posted: 1/13/2013 9:58:23 PM
you can never beat all the BS with dating....do what i did.....I put my wants and needs on my profile so when they read my profile there is not misunderstanding .........i am very direct to what I want and what I need! It does help but i still what I don't need.....its still just a shoot game
Do some men need a little push to get things going?
Posted: 1/13/2013 11:24:33 PM

More often than not I get a 'yes' to meeting.
But it is getting them to make that happen that is the issue.

transition from the abstract to the concrete. don't say 'would you like to meet?' because any socially conditioned person will say yes. be specific. say 'would you like to meet at the starbucks at first and main street at 1 p.m. saturday?' if he says yes, you're golden. if he says no without an immediate counteroffer, he's not interested. if he says yes, then calls you the day of the meet and makes an excuse without an immediate counteroffer, he was never interested.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 11
Do some men need a little push to get things going?
Posted: 1/14/2013 7:24:18 AM

Do some men need a little push to get things going?


I do. How about if we make out first?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 12
Do some men need a little push to get things going?
Posted: 1/14/2013 10:35:41 AM
I don't want to come off as pushy but I'd like to be able to get my point across...


I think your profile DOES come across as a little TOO opinionated. Your profile is loaded with lots of declarative statements to the point you sound like a football coach trying to negotiate a legal trade agreement and not just go out and have fun. It's OK to be opinionated, but you HAVE to give the guy at least a slim chance to GET your attention, not just pretty much declare they have no choice in the matter. No wonder all you get is 'Hey, how are you?'

You also state you DON'T want to date long distance, but you 'slam' the local guys at the end of the date suggestion text, calling them a "Special Blend" - that's biting the hand that's trying to date you. When you talk about having a 3 ft stick shoved up your bum - it doesn't sound humorous - it sounds like a threat and that you've done it before. Putting ANYTHING in your profile that sounds like a threat is the kiss of death.

Sure, you might get an assertive guy who's not afraid of you, but for the most part they're going to be ignorant of half of what you wrote as well. Your alphabet soup has a little too much Alpha in it, and not enough room for betting.
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 14
Do some men need a little push to get things going?
Posted: 1/14/2013 11:22:15 AM

Any insight into the very complicated male mind would be appreciated.


I am of the opinion that a woman should not have to initiate the first meet nor the first date. If a guy is interested, the very least he can do is state that he is interested in meeting you. After all, that's not a marriage proposal nor a building project such as the Hoover dam. It's just an opportunity for two people to look at each other's face and take it from there. It's hard to imagine a woman would be interested in a guy who can't even get that done.

If you really like the guy, you might want to drop a hint. Something subtle ... like... how many messages do you send a person before you ask to meet them ? ;-)

If he misses the "subtlety", that's probably not someone you want to invest a whole lot of your time in.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 15
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Do some men need a little push to get things going?
Posted: 1/14/2013 11:39:51 AM
It is getting over that first mental challenge of meeting and thinking, "please...not a dud yet again".......that so many have from poor meet and greets, dates, set-ups, on and on!!

What I have found that works best......is to invite that person to a happy hour at some local establishment to share in some food and drinks. There usually will be many others around, so you two will blend in, and the atmosphere is one of enjoying the happy hour, and not feeling like the both of you are on stage interviewing each other while everyone else looks on.

If it does not work out, the happy hours will not last that long, and as others leave, so do you with a thank you and good luck, and if you two hit it off, you stay and plan the next meeting. Two drinks, some free food, and a group of people around you, all doing about the same thing, makes the transition much more comfortable, and the possible let down much less. Most of us like a couple of drinks, some food, and mixing with good conversation.......try it!

cd
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 17
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Do some men need a little push to get things going?
Posted: 1/14/2013 1:16:21 PM
^^^^^^^^ his name is 'sexguy'. And wonders why women get offended that he's going to fast lol
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 18
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Do some men need a little push to get things going?
Posted: 1/14/2013 1:20:19 PM
The ones who need a push are not for me. I need a man who knows how to lead.
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