Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel th      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 takemetoasgard
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 1
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I did look up tags in the forum search and I couldn't find anything that encompasses both of these topics and my questions.

I'm almost 23, have never been married, and have never had a child/been pregnant, so it would be nice to hear from some of the females in my generation how they feel about marriage and child bearing in the 21st century. Of course, all comments from any age male and female are welcome.

I'm one of those women, who from a very young age, knew that she never wanted kids or to get married. I don't want to say that I "hate" kids, but I extremely dislike them, and the idea of pregnancy is just disgusting to me. As far as marriage goes, divorce exists and it's very easy to obtain, so there's no argument that "marriage is a commitment". In the 'disposable' world we live in, marriage is purely a financial contract, and in my opinion, over time, that cheapens an otherwise wonderful bond between two loving people, creates tension, and eventually potentially leads to failure at a catastrophic level (major loss of assets, possible loss of child custody,children feeling confused and unloved, bitterness and hatred). I'm certainly not a commitment-phobe, by any means. Bring on the commitment! I'm not scared. I even believe in a commitment ceremony if two people feel like they HAVE to prove their love to each other to their family and friends. I just don't believe that a silly piece of paper means anything, because it doesn't (look at the divorce rates). And yes, I'm aware of the tax, car and health insurance, credit score, and loan benefits of marriage. Which are again, financial perks that can sometimes be downfalls if your spouse gets in trouble with taxes/credit/loans/etc. If a loving cohabitating couple are both working hard and have good careers, it shoots the financial benefits of marriage right in the face, and can be a joyous lifelong bond.

My question is, why do some of you men who want to get married and have kids try to ask out and invest time in a woman who does not feel the same? I'm having this happen to me constantly on here. It's clearly stated on my profile that I don't want to get married or have kids, and when I inquire about what it says on their profile about them wanting to get married/have kids, these men try to convince me that getting married is beneficial. They have no good reason as to why marriage is beneficial other than the stupid financial aspect of it. Do you men think that you'll change our minds once we're in a relationship with you and we love you? Do you think that we'll eventually love you enough to feel guilty for not marrying you and bearing your children? Do you think that we'll just miraculously change our minds as we get older? Is this happening to some of you other women on POF who don't want to get married or have kids?

I really don't understand why men are trying to change my mind on this view that I feel so strongly about nearly every day.

Anyways, long winded. Have at it, fishies.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:26:50 PM
Very simple. They are not reading what you have posted in your profile..or they hope you will change your mind which is not uncommon for humans to do
 takemetoasgard
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 3
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:43:37 PM
I suppose. But I would think they would at least skim it. No matter how attractive or unattractive (in my opinion) the guy is, I read his full profile. I've had to pass on some lovely looking men because we didn't hold the same values. Me not wanting marriage or kids is literally the first thing I say on my profile. You think they'd catch that lol
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 4
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:44:33 PM
As you grow older your feelings may change. The pressure to have children was unrelenting. "You are so intelligent it would be a SHAME not to have your genes in the gene pool!" people wailed, as if that would change my mind. I was staunchly convinced I didn't want children....until age 33 when my biological clock began ticking.

My husband and I had debated for seven years whether or not to have a child. During the 10 minutes we agreed we conceived. Claire was born when I was 36 and her father was 40. "One is a nice round number," I said when parents pressured us to have another child.We did not want teenagers in our 60's. Claire is an only child.

I was amazed at how becoming a mother dramatically changed my life. Claire brought enormous joy and love into my life that continues to this day. Having a child taught me patience, to drop on my knees and focus on her needs. I learned to really listen and to let go of my perfectionist tendencies. Most of all, I learned unconditional love and forgiveness.

Now Claire is 22. I miss the sweet melting closeness of her tiny head on my shoulder, as she relaxed and fell asleep with her warm little body snuggled against mine.

Raising Claire was like being nose-to-nose and toe-to-toe with myself. It was challenging raising a girl who is as spirited, strong, funny, fast, passionate, athletic and intense as me. "This is temporary" was my mantra when she was a teenager. As a freshman Claire became a #1 high school varsity doubles tennis player for four years, just like her father. Claire and her dad have tennis plaques hung in the Wenatchee High School gym, 40 years apart.

Now Claire and I laugh about how much we are alike.

I'm not trying to change your mind. I respect your right to choose what is right for you. My point is as you get older your feelings may change.
 takemetoasgard
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 5
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:56:03 PM

As you grow older your feelings may change. The pressure to have children was unrelenting. "You are so intelligent it would be a SHAME not to have your genes in the gene pool!" people wailed, as if that would change my mind. I was staunchly convinced I didn't want children....until age 33 when my biological clock began ticking.

My husband and I had debated for seven years whether or not to have a child. During the 10 minutes we agreed we conceived. Claire was born when I was 36 and her father was 40. "One is a nice round number," I said when parents pressured us to have another child.We did not want teenagers in our 60's. Claire is an only child.

I was amazed at how becoming a mother dramatically changed my life. Claire brought enormous joy and love into my life that continues to this day. Having a child taught me patience, to drop on my knees and focus on her needs. I learned to really listen and to let go of my perfectionist tendencies. Most of all, I learned unconditional love and forgiveness.

Now Claire is 22. I miss the sweet melting closeness of her tiny head on my shoulder, as she relaxed and fell asleep with her warm little body snuggled against mine.

Raising Claire was like being nose-to-nose and toe-to-toe with myself. It was challenging raising a girl who is as spirited, strong, funny, fast, passionate, athletic and intense as me. "This is temporary" was my mantra when she was a teenager. As a freshman Claire became a #1 high school varsity doubles tennis player for four years, just like her father. Claire and her dad have tennis plaques hung in the Wenatchee High School gym, 40 years apart.

Now Claire and I laugh about how much we are alike.


That's such a sweet story. Holy crap lol. It sounds just like my mom having me, actually. My mom started at the same age and everything. I just can't even imagine having a child, and I've seriously thought about it so much. Pregnancy is just, blehhh to me. I would kind of feel bad having a child with so many poor children in foster homes, anyway. If I did feel the need to have a child, I would be open to adopting, but I really can't even see myself going that far. I love to move around and travel. That's impossible with a child.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:09:05 PM
I had about 15 minutes in my 30s when I wondered if I would regret not having children... and then knew I wouldn't... I never wanted them... I love kids... but I am not a mother... and the idea of child birth freaks me out.... dating when I was your age was harder because most men wanted them... and I have always just been upfront about not wanting any.... I have felt the same about marriage too... I have had several long term relationships and even lived with someone for 7 years... just never felt the need to get married....

bottom line... you have to do you... you have to be true to you regardless of what others think or expect....
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:26:15 PM
You are 22. You will go back and forth on this at 25, 27, 29, 34, etc.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:29:47 PM
i suspect based on the above that good looking women on POF just get bombarded with requests...irrespective of what they list.
Also at 22, unless you are attracting, old men, it is likely folks in your age group aren't thinking straight lol. they are thinking hormonally.
Any reason you do not want to have kids at 22 other than disliking them?
You have till 40 to decide...maybe 35 to be safe. You have plenty of time to change your mind...or not..
part of love also is to compromise...they are hoping you would
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:47:33 PM
Tell them you would never marry a man who would want you for a wife. It works for me. lol.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:40:02 PM
OP, There are island cultures that needed help putting together the sex and children conundrum. I hear its something like, "well - not every women has children, but everyone is up to the wildness,.. seeing as there's little else to do on this tropical beach when the monsoons arrive, or don't, or finiish, or whatever". No one is planning to have kids there. They don't know why it happened, or rather - their cultures were dead certain why children were born,. but it had nothing to do with the mumbo-jambo, and folk that insisted otherwise were roasted on spits for a few hundred years. Idylic location.

Although its appalling rude for us twerps to insist, just because you're not interested in having children in no way makes you unsuitable as a mother or unlikely to do excellent at it. There's no "want to be mom- will be better mom" thing. Most kinda get used to the idea that they share some similarities with their spawn, their gaping mouths seem to have a plan and they figgger, may as well go with the flow and nurse the tykes, dress them,. maybe see about skooling when its appropriate. I mean - I married a women who'd had her tubes tied- never dated longer than 3 weeks (and was ill then). Without encouragement from me she had the operation reversed (expensive) and we had a couple of urchins. They've turned out fine (though one is out flooping about downtown tonight).

Sure you don't want kids. Sure you're certain. Why are guys being such****laterhingpongfunks about it-- well its worth it- ,.. and a bit--- they're trying to trap you in a relationship by sharing a child, or some are.

Its not about growing older or changing your mind. There are situations that make it all work, or enough of it that it seems- okay,. why not.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:54:41 PM
Also they do not respect your choices, probably because they don't think you are capable of making rational choices. Misogynist? Self centered? Are they objectifying? Do they think they are smarter? Do they live in a fantasy and want to keep it that way? Whatever, who cares.

This not taking no for an answer is a form of disrespect. Tell them to hit the road or mind their own business.
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 12
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 10:34:16 PM
Marriage is not a 50/50 .. it is more a 62/38.. almost 3/4 divorce rate.. way way more people who are not relationship material.. maybe mom and dad sucked at being the proper role models.. hmm

omg .. I can't believe all the nasty on this thread about having kids ..
I've accomplished a lot of weird and wonderful things in my life .. and consider myself a go-getter and ambitious to a fault.. but the single most valuable achievement I have and cherish is life is my children and the icing on the cake is my grand kids..


spoiled little spawn
totally depends on how they are raised.. my people in my tribe are amazing people.. no spoiled spawn.. they are caring, joyful, funny and smart..

the real difficulty is that the op must be 100 percent transparent with the men she meets .. if you don't want children it is necessary to walk away from a potential love interest because it will end eventually. It is unfair to become bonded or mated to someone who wants to achieve very different goals in life than you do .. the pain of compromise in the desire for kids is not worth the agony of prolonging the inevitable ..

Ironically I've had friends that married and then divorced because of the issue of one not wanting children.. then the one remarries and has a family and the other .. sees the other happy and fulfilled and then marries and has a family.. that was a wtf moment.. like maybe they both really wanted kids but not with each other.. bizarre..

I have bigger issues with people on the verge of dropping the last egg and then decide that their self centered existences aren't interesting anymore and it is time to reproduce and then go thru the gambit of using fertility clinics and work into complete focus on their aging need to reproduce .. from a biological standpoint this is not the most optimum chance to produce a healthy human. ... ( they even rent wombs in asia .. so they can have their stroller toys.. scary scary behavior..)

Nothing more valuable in my existence than raising my offspring ..it is the deepest of emotional experiences anyone can ever have here ...when I die, I leave my people here and truthfully I have great people to leave behind .. I made great people and am proud of who they are and how decent and caring they are as people.. I've given me and the planet a great gift and I always looked at my offspring as contributory beings.. You OP have a plan to remain childless .. I had a plan to give the world a great gift... and my people make me the luckiest person in the world.. yepp.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 13
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 11:00:13 PM
I love to move around and travel. That's impossible with a child.

Who on earth told you it's impossible to move around and travel if you have a child or children?? Whoever told you that is either a liar or terribly closed-minded because I had a child 27 years ago and not only did we move around, we also did a great deal of traveling throughout his life-time. Have you ever encountered professional military people? The vast majority have children and the vast majority are required to travel/move around. There are innumerable famous people who are world-travelers and have children in tow. Only someone with no imagination, no sense of adventure, no sense of thinking outside-the-box would think having a child/children should or will take the adventure out of living. I found it quite the opposite. My son gave me a sense of wander-lust that was insatiable. I wanted him to see things, people, places well outside of our own backyard and in turn? I got to see/experience those things through my own eyes AND through the eyes of a child. And that??? That was priceless! (If you truly think marriage is a financial arrangement? You may wish to do a little research. Loans, insurances, etc., are just as assessable to those of us living together as those who are married. My SO and I live the same as every couple we know who are legally married. We share assets/debts, income/expenses, insurances, etc., etc., etc. For those who are marriage minded, their reasons very likely go well beyond something as simplistic as finances. If one's decision to be with a man is based on finances??? A roommate is a much better option than a husband. I get that you're young and likely will change your views in time, but I can assure you ~ marriage for the vast majority of people has very little to do with finances, until they begin fighting about money. That comes some time after the vows for most.)

~OT~ If men are wasting their time trying to get to know you after you make it more than clear how you feel about marriage and children, my only guess is that they're desperate. Given the reality that you are far more the exception than the rule (re: marriage/children), I can't think of any logical reason a man would pursue you knowing you hate the concept of marriage/children if he didn't feel the same. JMO
 ForumFiona
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 14
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 11:52:11 PM
If you do not want children, then you don't. No explaination needed!

I am somewhat older than you and still manage to meet guys my age that still want kids.
I think that's insane.

I hated hearing how I will "change my mind" blah blah blah. Those people can't fully understand what is in your heart and soul. Ignore them.

It is a big responsibility to decide to have children. And a big responsibility to decide not to have children.

My reasons were my own, it was none of anyones business and still isn't today.

And although I do like children, I would tell people that I didn't like just so they would change the subject real fast...lol.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 15
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:38:16 AM
OP, just stick to your guns on what you want right now. Yeah, you MAY change your mind later, but we cant live like that. Deal with that IF/WHEN it happens. For now, just dont date men who want marriage/kids.

As for why men are ignoring your goals in thia area, this is normal. Many men think every female on the planet has a desire to breed. They think every woman dreams of getting married...so crossing paths with you doesnt seem real to them is all. They likely think you 'are just saying that', much like some girls who claim to love sports when dating a sport nut, but really doesnt.

All you can do is make yourself clear and as soon as a man tries to lead you in that direction, call him on it, re state your goals and let the cookie crumble where it may There are men out there wanting the same thing as you, you will find them eventually.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:42:20 AM
It is nice that the ladies are offering the original poster support. But if she wants to hear the blunt truth here is from the guys point of view:

You are only 22 years old, and your brain hasn't fully developed yet. Your career and future are yet to be fully shaped out like the other ladies have done so in this thread. From their point of view they have an idea what they want their future to be because they are more mature. If a woman told me she didn't want kids (ex. 32 years old) I wouldn't doubt her decision. If a 22 year old told me she didn't want children I would be skeptical as to why they feel so strongly about this. I don't buy the junk that some women knew as early as a minor they didn't want kids. It is one thing when a grown, fully matured adult makes that decision compared to a child. Unlike men, where we can father children almost at any time, women have a smaller window of time. So, the decision isn't that "simple".

Now, moving onto the next point you don't want marriage either. The biggest reason for a guy to marry (and taking on financial risk) is for kids. So, on this point a lot of men will agree with the original poster and I don't forsee any problem on this issue. But there are legal ramifications if you are not married, in that it makes a lot of finanical decisions harder. So yes marriage is often risky for a man given how the divorce rates are as well for women. But there are advantages to marriage you seemingly are easily overlooking from a legal point of view.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 17
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:09:33 AM
OP, you're quite fortunate to have the option of not experiencing marriage or motherhood, whereas this was not possible, before. Both are hard work and no matter how much you put into them, you hope the results will still be favorable. It's a gamble, but it's also a huge responsibility. You're also fortunate enough that in your generation, the expectation of becoming a wife and mother is less stressing in today's society.

Still, across communities beyond borders, women's worth is still judged by their marital status and whether or not they had sired enough children. In India, you can be a spinster until you're 23 and by 27, you're considered an "old hag," if marriage hadn't occurred by then. Women's virginity is still considered a gift to MEN presented by the FATHER and so ownership changes from man to another. (In some cultures, even this one, the man could be 60 and still hunt a 28 year old who hasn't yet produced, to reproduce, as many see women already with children, to "hagged out," to receive any respect or love.) Personally, I would not want to be in this position and this position doesn't guarantee safety for the concerned women, what-so-ever.

I'm afraid to say that much of the populace are under the impression that breeding is for legacy, and they are dead wrong; thus they should never sire any progeny, with this attitude. They have children for the hell of it without considering what the children actually need, which is education, love, respect, accountability, creativity, sacrifice, apart from the parents' own needs.

I never dreamt of not having children. I knew from childhood that I would become a mother. I felt this way and I had two children, a decade apart, and both had the opportunity to travel with me and learn a lot. They, in the process, taught me. This was my choice, my life, and I respect your right not to have this life. You're also quite young, and it's true that you may change your mind, but not a single person has the right to tell you that you should. You need to live your life as you deem fit, and you know it's quite right.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:14:02 AM
takemetoasgard .... aka the OP ....

When I was 22 I felt exactly the same way as you do about marriage and children... plus a heavy dose of feminism put me off being pushed into the role of "little wifey" and lifetime unpaid domestic servant. People said I would regret it and that I would change my mind.

Here I am at 54 and I will tell you what I have seen: I have observed as my five sisters and many friends and co-workers have done the marriage and kids thing. I have seen them have miscarriages, stillbirths and cot deaths, I have seen them deal with the horrors of pregnancy and of infertility treatment. I have seen them raise children who turned out to break their hearts and put them through hell as they indulged in teenage drinking, underage sex and pregnancy, drugs, you name it.

And now that we are all in our 50s and 60s and grandparent, I see them being used as unpaid childminders and agony aunts and banks. Many have lost their children to death or because they moved to another country and they rarely see them. Even women who marry and have kids end up all alone by age 65 and they are devastated. At least those of us who never had that learned to live without it.

No, I certainly do NOT regret not marrying or not having children.

As another lady said upthread, if you put all the time, commitment, money and effort that you would have put into serving your hubby and offspring into your career and savings, you will be far better off when you are in your later years.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:52:58 AM
I think a lot of people are so programmed to think women either want kids or will suddenly want them when they meet the right guy (whatever that means - my favorite I guess I can't make that decision on my own, it has to be based on the guy I meet), that when someone really doesn't all they know how to do is just argue the topic.

I knew at like 12 years old if not younger I didn't want marriage or kids, and I've heard it all from friends, men I dated, doctors, you name it. I wanted to be spayed at 18, and naturally I was told I was too young to make that decision and I might want kids later. Guess what? I didn't, and I knew I wouldn't - which kind of always bothered me.

I have friends who want kids who dated men who didn't and figured they'd come around as well and they didn't - I guess this is what some people do. If you know for sure you don't want kids, OP - then tell the guy in question that you gave him information and he can do what he wants with it - it's his choice to accept or walk away, so long as he doesn't keep bugging you about it.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 20
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/23/2013 8:45:19 AM
Then after the children the man usually gets neutered in a divorce .Then his former spouse gets the kids, house, and a very large piece of his paycheck for the next 20 years.With the no fault divorce laws , marriage is becoming less and less of a viable option for a man.Not much reason to get legally bound to some one that can destroy you financially .
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/26/2013 3:31:24 AM
Our society has its standards; it’s been like this for thousands of years. Even the emperor in Rome forced men into marriage, because the population had no child. The men had their lovers in all types back in those days and just didn’t sleep with women. It wasn’t working because the population was NOT growing, the emperor didn’t want a society of all men, and we all know that if men didn’t want to procreate they would of hunted the women down a long time ago and the female race would be eliminated. Lol…. That’s what a male friend of mine told me once. He’s dead now and died a lonely fat and sick old man. ????????????

Anyhow, “the paper” shows a commitment to the world, that marriage is saying that we can stay together and not live in “sin”. That’s where the biblical teachings come in. USA was built on biblical teachings due to our ancestors that came over from Europe. Even today, we do not put single men or especially single women in public office. Our president has to be married and still be a man.

In other words, if you are fornicating without that piece of marriage paper you are sinning, with that piece of paper you can have all the sex you want and you won’t go to hell for sinning, plus your off spring will not be referred to as **stards.

Now with that said in a nut shell version. That paper shows final commitment not only to each other but to the world and your community.

You said it yourself here, “I really don't understand why men are trying to change my mind on this view”

Basically, people always think they can change other peoples mind set, it’s an ego thing.

I'm just giving the history lesson, doesn't mean I believe this stuff, so don’t shoot the messenger…
Hope you find your way,
Jan
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 22
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/26/2013 5:54:17 AM
to msg 34

It's not the men that changed the rules .With the legislative power the feminist movement we now have no fault divorce laws in effect.Divorce rate has gone through the roof and over 70% of the divorces are initiated by women.A majority of those divorce initiated by women are not because the hubby was unfaithful , or abusive , or a bad father , or not a good provider .Most of the divorces initiated in this no fault divorce system is because they merely are not 100% satisfied with their husband .
Why then , is there a reason for any man to be legally bound to a person that can gut them financially .If children are involved , the wife gets the children , house , and a good sized part of the mans income for up to 20 years. I don't know many men willing to put all that on the line any more just to loose it because of the whim of a woman who's main reason to initiate a divorce seems to be simply that she wants a new man.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/26/2013 6:43:39 AM
It's not the men that changed the rules .With the legislative power the feminist movement we now have no fault divorce laws in effect.Divorce rate has gone through the roof and over 70% of the divorces are initiated by women.A majority of those divorce initiated by women are not because the hubby was unfaithful , or abusive , or a bad father , or not a good provider .Most of the divorces initiated in this no fault divorce system is because they merely are not 100% satisfied with their husband .
Why then , is there a reason for any man to be legally bound to a person that can gut them financially .If children are involved , the wife gets the children , house , and a good sized part of the mans income for up to 20 years. I don't know many men willing to put all that on the line any more just to loose it because of the whim of a woman who's main reason to initiate a divorce seems to be simply that she wants a new man.

Are you aware that men always got custody of their children up until the 1900’s, yes it’s true, just as pot was legal then… anyhow, men did change the rules, it’s called statues/law. If you want to change what men get after a divorce then you should tally the men up (the good ole boys) and go picket the front steps of your local courts, or better yet, put a suit on an run for office.

I don’t doubt your statistics, and it doesn’t surprise me.

Look, the feminist movement took control away from men entirely so women had more rights. I just hate it when men throw the feminist movement into their arguments. Women just wanted to work, period. They got tired of laying around for “the man” who controlled the finances, and everything in the marriage/ household. Women were tired of going to their husbands and asking for a dime. Some got the dime and others got locked in their bedrooms and even some got beaten for even asking.

You see men had it made back then, they had their wives (cake), and their mistresses (and eat it too), and the wives had no idea this was going on, because women where baby makers and mamas to their husbands. Hell half of the women population didn’t even know how to drive a car!

You sound pissed off number 35. I can tell who your daddy was…. Sorry the book and cover are right there.

Your forefathers, our forefathers, ancestors should of treated their wives better, maybe none of this whole mess would have started. All they had to do is give those equal rights to live as a human being, not a baby machine, and a stay at home controlled housewife.

Times are different women don’t need men anymore, financially that is… and yet there’s always the “bears den” to provide the toys…. It’s a sad existence for people.

There are more single people ever in history. Even senior citizens don’t marry, because they lose their pensions, their social security if they do. So even the older generation who lived before the NOW movement are even shacking up.

It’s up to the men in this generation to make the changes in these divorce laws. Women are still holding their hands up to get picked for their opinions.
Take Care,
Thanks for the heads-up.
Jan
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/26/2013 11:09:57 AM
It gets me when idiots say to childfree young adults who don't want kids or marriage: "You are still young. You will change your mind." What they fail to mention is there are a lot of mindless people who breed (with or without marriage) because they were programmed by society to do that, who regret having kids. They would never admit it because society looks down on people who regret having kids. It's pretty hard to change your mind to not want kids after kids are born.

So what's a better situation: a woman who regrets having kids, which can often lead to child abuse, or a childfree person who didn't make the mistake of having kids they never wanted? As for the people who say young people who don't want kids or marriage are too young to decide to be single or childfree, what is the official age of decision making? If a youngster says they want to have marriage and kids when they grow up, are they told they are too young to want that and they should also consider never having kids or marriage?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 25
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/26/2013 11:13:00 AM

i wouldnt have a live in Girlfriend whats the point you know they can leave at any time no commint or anytthing

Marrying her won't make her stay. It also means she can take stuff with her when she leaves.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.