Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How would you react?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 2
view profile
History
How would you react?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I'd say...
"Please don't share your past sexual relationships with me. I don't care about them. Now, what do you want to do besides chit chat?"

Your guy probably is feeling weird or guilty, (or else why tell you?), don't twist the knife if it's there.

If he's bragging...I'd question my choice.

If he's just yakking, change the subject.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 3
view profile
History
How would you react?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:27:59 PM
It was a long time ago. They're old buds now.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 4
How would you react?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:32:12 PM
I would be shocked that he would share this information with me.
That would defiantly remove him from the list of possibilities.
Next.
 toronto_gal2012
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 5
How would you react?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:39:13 PM
Maybe it's his way of saying he has done the same thing to you.
 a_lonewolf
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 6
How would you react?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:44:59 PM

they are friends on FB, her husband doesn't know about the tryst 4 years ago and her husband is also a FB friend. What would be your reaction to your dates announcement to you?

Creepy. The guy you are dating is keeping tabs on his 'past' FWB's life. Probably waiting for them to have an argument, one of them to post it on FB, and he'd be there at her door waiting.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 8
How would you react?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:49:37 PM
I'd ask him why the hell he would tell me that.

Jeepers, talk about things you don't need to know!
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 10
How would you react?
Posted: 1/21/2013 10:26:51 PM
I would question his motives in telling you about this. Is he gloating and trying to make you jealous or an ego boost of some sort?
 12thour
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 11
How would you react?
Posted: 1/21/2013 11:34:30 PM
I am sorry what? I just heard a loud boom and I am trying to figure out where it came from.

Since you are not dating this guy anymore (I make this assumption based on everything you told me) so I would start enjoying a life that doesn't include thinking about him.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 12
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:03:05 AM
12thour, I must be missing something....LOL
And the boom was?
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 13
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:18:11 AM
why does it make the slightest difference who he was sleeping wth 4 years ago? byob.....
 takemetoasgard
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 14
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 2:12:12 AM
Does it honestly matter? It was years ago. It was a FWB. Sex in a FWB means absolutely nothing. She's married now to probably someone substantially younger. It's not like they ran off to Vegas and got married for a weekend. Big whoop.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 15
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 3:40:35 AM

....i think that is very true! He said he doesn't think that her husband treats her right;.....sometimes they hike together and lunch together with other friends, BUT not the husband.

That's very different from him just being a little insensitive, as it first appeared!

With this added information that they see each other and her husband is not invited, I question whether or not it ever ended. Sometimes people will tell a partial truth as a means of easing into the whole truth.

Basically I think the best-case scenario here is that he wants you to feel a little unsure of him. And that isn't very good either.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 16
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 3:49:32 AM
You've been dating a man your age (56) for 3 months, one night he decides to tell you he had a FWB/~co~worker, that was 28 years old, (he was 52 at the time). Fast forward, she is happily married now, they are friends on FB, her husband doesn't know about the tryst 4 years ago and her husband is also a FB friend. What would be your reaction to your dates announcement to you?


I'd probably say....and I need to know this because?

How did you react?

What offends your sensibilities most?

The fact that he was alot older and you aren't into "creepy old men who flirt with(let alone have sex with) 20+?

That he's friends with her on facebook and her husband?

Or that he doesn't know about something that happened between them BEFORE they were married?



He said he doesn't think that her husband treats her right;( and he is waiting in the wings).....sometimes they hike together and lunch together with other friends, BUT not the husband.


So you are worried about him hooking up with her again while he is with you?

That's valid,but not necessarily the case.At least he gave you fair warning if it is the case though.
 The_Whole_of_the_Moon
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 17
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 4:14:13 AM
It's your decision and I'm guessing your morals are not compatible with his so it's time to move on.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 18
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 4:27:05 AM
He said he doesn't think that her husband treats her right;( and he is waiting in the wings).....sometimes they hike together and lunch together with other friends, BUT not the husband.


Why is he so involved/interested in this girl's marriage?
And he's actually still meeting her for lunch,etc.....................?

Op,he's trying to make you feel insecure.
*I* wouldn't put up with him and his sh1t.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 19
view profile
History
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 4:29:21 AM
1. From the statement in the opening post, the salient fact is that this man has zero respect for marriage, for honesty, and has no sense of personal honor whatsoever. Otherwise he could not have become involved with a married coworker.

2. From the opening statement, I also can deduce that he is a reckless fool, because this WAS a coworker, which is about the dumbest thing anyone can do, especially when the economy is so bad that us over-fifty crowd have the least chances of all of finding new work if we get fired for being idiots.

3. From the later additional post, the fact that he explained that he is continuing this relationship and maintaining the lies, while hoping the gal will dump her husband, means that he has zero interest in anything honorable or serious involving you, OP.

Frankly, I begin to wonder if this whole thing isn't really a soap opera that you are writing in your spare time, and testing on us, it's so obviously "out there."

But my serious answer to "How would [I] react?" , if this were a woman that I was seeing: I would nod my head calmly at the information, say "well, good luck with that," and take the rest of my own life elsewhere. But that's because I am alone, and wish not to be. Anyone who stayed with someone like that, would have to WANT to continue to be alone.
 angellight2091
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 20
view profile
History
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 5:32:19 AM
At first I simply thought he was being honest.. not wanting to keep things from you..I wasnt concerned... I am friends with a lot of my exes on facebook... It means nothing more than thou we were not compatible in the long run, they are nice people and I honestly value their friendship..We chat and say hello on occasion and see how things are going with one another... NOTHING MORE... Fast forward.....


@paper or plastic....i think that is very true! He said he doesn't think that her husband treats her right;( and he is waiting in the wings).....sometimes they hike together and lunch together with other friends, BUT not the husband.


This disturbs me...why is he meeting her without her husbands knowledge??


( and he is waiting in the wings).....


Did he Actually say this?????? How does he know the husband does not treat her right and why would it concern him anyway??
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 21
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:23:22 AM

sometimes they hike together and lunch together with other friends, BUT not the husband.


I don't see any problem with him confessing to having a fvck buddy four years before. I don't see any problem with the age difference. I don't see any problem with becoming friends in Facebook.

However I do have a big problem with this one. That means that they are still hanging around.

Ask him who dumb whom when it ended. I bet you it was her that dumbed him. And it's him the one that is not over. But simply ask.

The other thing is this. This is a rule I have. Unless this is an ex of long long time ago and the the mother of your children. When in a relationship, I do not keep in touch with people I fvcked. I also ask the person that I am in a relationship with to honor that. If they feel that they cannot honor that, I end the relationship. It's that simple to me.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 22
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:25:15 AM
Tell him that he's a shameless pig and then let him go. Why? He boasted about the fact that he shagged a young lady young enough to be his daughter and now she's flaunting her happy new marriage with her ex FWB old codger in hot pursuit. They're all FB friends (which no such thing actually occurs - real friendship, that is) -- cozy and comfy - with unsuspecting hubby in the dark. What drama they all have created for themselves. Regardless of how long ago the tryst occurred and all of the nonsense still fixed in the present, it's still repugnant. Why the hell would you embroil yourself, in this mess?

As far as the abrupt announcement is concerned, somehow, this declaration had to be in reaction to something you both discussed, otherwise, it would not have been unearthed from his seedy past; there's no way this could have been brought up, out of the blue, though men tend to boast about this, to show how still virile they are at that age.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 23
view profile
History
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:35:16 AM
It tells me that he will bang any 28 year old who wiggles her finger at him, and that he has no respect for the concept of marriage. Even if it was four years ago, it's not like it was simply someone he "dated". He had a co-worker Fk-buddy who was half his age and married to boot. It sounds like he takes what he wants with no regard for the consequences, and that's not the kind of guy I would want to be involved with.
 BigJerseyJon
Joined: 12/20/2012
Msg: 24
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:38:43 AM
Is there something wrong with a man dating a woman much younger?
I dont understand because thats what these aging cougars do.
I mean I know for a fact these women on this site are looking for much younger men.

Have you ever heard a women say " I can get sex anytime I want" Yes thats because they are letting much younger males screw the crap out of them .
They just blow a load and they are gone. but the women love this.lol
Oh he had six pack abs,he was so sexy --and he left you lying there like used condom pathetic
This is what women mean when they say they can get sex anytime
 AvailableinIndy
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 25
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:07:16 AM
If this was 4 yrs ago, and done with I would say...none of your business. It is his past . (although he shouldn't be bragging about it to you..)

But the fact he still sees her w/out her husband? GOOD-BYE!
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 26
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 9:55:03 AM
Have you ever heard a women say " I can get sex anytime I want" Yes thats because they are letting much younger males screw the crap out of them .
They just blow a load and they are gone. but the women love this.lol
Oh he had six pack abs,he was so sexy --and he left you lying there like used condom pathetic
This is what women mean when they say they can get sex anytime

What a crock of bitter bullsh*t.

I don't need to fish in the kiddie pond and WON'T. I don't even bother with guys under the age of 48 - and I can still get sex anytime I want.

I just don't want.

Big difference.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 27
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 10:42:20 AM

What would be your reaction to your dates announcement to you?


Nothing.

His sexual past is none of my business.

So, i'd react accordling.

I'd say nothing and continue to shag his brains out. Until his finishes with me of course, and finds another young sucker...(pun intended)
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 28
How would you react?
Posted: 1/22/2013 11:41:30 AM

I would be shocked that he would share this information with me.
That would defiantly remove him from the list of possibilities.
Next.


Probably why your still flying solo.

Hypocritical to ask for honesty & then judge for it. It's why most guys don't open up to women.

It's in his past & should be left there.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How would you react?