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 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 2
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how times have changed!Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Rob
There are so many women out there that have set their bar way high. They want someone with money, looks like George Clooney and a masters degree. Funny thing is that while they want all that when you look at their pic and profile they dont exactly look quite as good as they think they do.

Also there are so so many sites out in internet land that have emerged over the last 7 years that people can be registered on several sites. POF is getting more and more like a site for furum posters rather than people looking to really meet someone and get into a relationship.

The young guns and pretty young things seem to do well on POF as do those with plenty of money, As for the rest of us well, the older we get, the more lines that appear the less responses we get.

A lot depends of course where you live and the number of people who lie within travelling or dating distance but your right in some ways when you say that internet dating has become so saturated that it may have peaked and perhaps people are looking more and more to more conventional ways of meeting a prospective partner once again such as shared interest clubs, social clubs, bars, etc

Just my opinion of course - George Clooney or katey Price might think different
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 3
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:43:09 PM

I was on here a long time ago, probably 2005 ish for about 6 months and found it pretty easy to start chatting with women



However, this time it has been excruciating so far and my net result is pretty much zilch!


That is pretty much the same experience for most who were active around 2005 and are active now.


So what's changed in 7 years (apart from getting older!) - well i'm really not sure,


We can only speculate since it is difficult to get straight answers on the subject, but so far I have chalked it up to disillusionment after so many false starts with flakes, marrieds, perverts, and run of the mill losers.


Anyway, I'm thinking that maybe this whole scene has had it heyday


That is a distinct possibility, unless some serious antidote to the inertia can be found.
 daneil912
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 5
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:19:43 PM
i am seeing the same thing op

i was on here several years a go and met many nice men-- now i get lots of creepers

my expectations/wants are pretty simple

smart
employed
able to drive to and from dates on his own
not married
not mean/ wont treat me like im his kid

in the last 2-3 yrs havent been able to find 1 guy who also likes me that fits those wants
 AquaLinda
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 6
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:54:59 PM
I've only been back on the dating scene for less than a year and I think my expectations are pretty realistic - I want someone who is pretty much my equal, as in he has to be in shape, have a career, have his own place, have a car, be educated, wants an actual relationship not just a booty call. I have not found someone like this, or I should say the ones I have found turned out to be liars and/or players. But that's OK, I'm fine being on my own, and if I really have the "urge" for some male company, it's super easy to find a hot guy for a fling. That helps me to hold out for someone I really want without settling out of desperation or something like that. Actually, a young guy I hooked up with off POF for a fling (after a string of frustrating dates with men my age) turned out to be all I've ever looked for. The only issue is the age difference, but I'm willing to give it a shot with him anyways. Yup, funny how times have changed.
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 8
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 5:18:53 AM
^^^ It's likely not just more people online as it is having online experience. Many people have had some bad experiences- even just with the messages they receive--as well as having the positive experience of dating more and knowing who they will likely mesh with.

Your profile looks good, although you don't say what you are looking for in regard to dating.

What stood out to me immediately is that your photos don't match. It looks like 3 different people and I would say that's something's wrong with that and pass your profile by.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 10
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how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 9:59:27 AM

and if I really have the "urge" for some male company, it's super easy to find a hot guy for a fling. That helps me to hold out for someone I really want without settling out of desperation



LOL........ah, yea - thats a real turn on to know your getting banged on the side by your choice of hot guys while you hold out for a "nice" guy........sloppy seconds, anyone??

Nice.

I actually tried to filter for this kind of behavior by avoiding women who had profiles with age ranges that accepted guys much younger than them, but only a few years older than they were.........(i.e. women was 40 and accepted guys from 29 to 41).

I only wish it was as super easy for guys to find a hot chick for a fling while they hold out for that really sweet lady......

No wonder times have changed. So easy to get what you want without much effort or compromise...........there is no doubt women have the upper hand and are super selective these days.

Think about it. In the example above, it makes sense that if women can get hot guys for a quick fling anytime they chose, then the real keeper she's holding out for would not only have to be as hot as the guys she's banging for that quick fling, but all the other criteria COMBINED. Hot looks, plus money, plus education, car, house.......miss one, and you're out!!

Guys have to bring a way better game to play in this league.......unfortunately only the top 10-15% of guys will be able to do this, leaving the other 85% quite frustrated.

My advice - work super hard to be in that 10-15%. If you think you don't have what it takes to get you there, then this kind of place may not be the best avenue to find a suitable match.......the days of "average" guys finding success on this site is quite limited in my opinion..........I am most grateful for finding someone here a few years ago. I think I would have a hell of a time finding someone on here now..........
 AquaLinda
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 11
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 11:37:12 AM
Silverhawk - guys have been doing the same thing I'm doing for eons - time to for us girls to catch up. Guys are bitter because for most of them it's way harder to get laid at a moments notice by a hot chick. I've tried to meet "nice guys" and was super faithful, did not look for hookups in between failed relationships, but guess who "taught" me this little trick - all the "nice guys" who did the same to me. Even my ex husband of 20 years had a little fun on the side and I was supposed to be the "nice little wife" and not do anything. To heck with that. I'm doing the same now and if a guy has a problem with that, he's a huge hypocrite. Because every guy does or would do the same thing if they had the chance.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 12
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:04:50 PM

(AquaLinda) Silverhawk - guys have been doing the same thing I'm doing for eons - time to for us girls to catch up.


How is aping poor male behaviour in any way "catching up"? The Suffragettes would be spinning in their graves...


Because every guy does or would do the same thing if they had the chance.


Hang out with a better class of guy, and you'll find out how wrong you are...
 AquaLinda
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 13
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:07:45 PM
Arlo Troutman - haha, looking for "intimate encounter" with no pic but telling me I'm hanging out with the "wrong class" of men.....yeah right. You are just another hypocritical dude who wants to get laid but judges women who do the same.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 14
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how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:10:50 PM

Silverhawk - guys have been doing the same thing I'm doing for eons - time to for us girls to catch up.


No.....they've caught up, passed, and vanished over the horizon........


Guys are bitter because for most of them it's way harder to get laid at a moments notice by a hot chick.


Absolutely!! Only the top 10% of guys have the power and looks to get laid on a moments notice, and as our society gets even more enamoured by shallow glamour and beauty that figure gets smaller and smaller. It leaves a huge portion of males exceptionally frustrated as more and more "average" females set higher and higher standards while casually getting serviced on the side when it suits them.


I've tried to meet "nice guys" and was super faithful, did not look for hookups in between failed relationships, but guess who "taught" me this little trick - all the "nice guys" who did the same to me.


....then you do realize that you didn't meet a "nice guy" in reality, but a player - right?

Its the same old scenario - women dig douchebags and players.....right up until they get burned. Its the real nice guys that are simply too boring or ordinary for most women and they get overlooked......



To heck with that. I'm doing the same now and if a guy has a problem with that, he's a huge hypocrite. Because every guy does or would do the same thing if they had the chance


Really? Every guy?

So if you can't beat 'em, join 'em? How do you propose to land that great looking nice guy if your intention is to be a player/douche right up until that time?
 AquaLinda
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 15
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:17:50 PM
Silverhawk - every douche/player I know eventually ends up with somebody they really want. I guess it's because they are not sexually frustrated and settle just to get laid on a regular basis, but hold out for the real "prize" or whatever. When i was young and naive, I only slept with guys who I thought were serious about me. Needless to say, that didn't work out, so I "settled" and married a "nice guy". That didn't work out for me, and he also wasn't all that "nice" in the end". Time I changed my strategy, and so far, being a "player" has helped me tremendously in guarding my heart. Knowing that I can get at least my sexual needs taken care of very, very easily makes me feel much better. If I don't find relationship material, that's OK, I have friends and family to keep me company. I'm actually "seeing" someone who started out as a fling, but he is out of the country for a while. I intend to wait for him,(yes, I can totally do that IF the guy treats me right) but if he pulls a dealbreaker on me, instead of desperately clinging to him, I'll move on fast this time.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 16
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:23:52 PM

(AquaLinda) Arlo Troutman - haha, looking for "intimate encounter" with no pic but telling me I'm hanging out with the "wrong class" of men.....yeah right.


It's nice to know that someone is checkin' me out... you should see my wet T-shirt pictures!


You are just another hypocritical dude who wants to get laid but judges women who do the same.


There's nothing hypocritical about wanting to get laid. Hypocrisy occurs when one professes to hold a certain belief, but then acts in direct opposition to that stated belief. Words actually MEAN something; you can't just toss out whatever big nasty-sounding word you (mistakenly) think will bolster your position...

Anyway, don't change the subject, just answer the fookin' question: how is aping behaviour by men which you deem "hypocritical", in any way a laudable act personally, and how does it make wimmin look better globally?
 AquaLinda
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 17
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:32:16 PM
I don't care how it makes "wimmin" look better globally, I do it because it make ME feel better. Men feel threatened by women who go after what they want sexually. Puts a lot more pressure on the fellas. I love being able to decide if I want to date, have a relationship, or just a fling. Like I said, men have been and are doing it ALL THE TIME. And now I know why - it's awesome and very liberating.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 18
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how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:38:10 PM


Silverhawk - every douche/player I know eventually ends up with somebody they really want.


.....actually, what I see is quite different. Most players/douches just keep on being douches and players and never seem to quit. They often end up settling for something far less than what they could have had (or did have)...........karma can often be a righteous beyotch!!


so I "settled" and married a "nice guy". That didn't work out for me, and he also wasn't all that "nice" in the end". Time I changed my strategy, and so far, being a "player" has helped me tremendously in guarding my heart.


......respectfully, you didn't marry a "nice" guy. You settled for a douche, and you got burned. So now you want to do the burning........I hope your "someone" that you are waiting for doesn't know how you really feel........that heart that your guarding still needs to do a bit of healing, I think.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 19
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:38:55 PM
(AquaLinda) Men feel threatened by women who go after what they want sexually.


Really? Which men might those be? A guy getting all butt-hurt because the hot girl didn't put out for HIM, is rather different than ALL men being threatened. If a single woman happens to want to get laid, and chooses NOT to get laid with me, I'd question her eyesight and/or her sanity, but I wouldn't condemn her for her choice...


I love being able to decide if I want to date, have a relationship, or just a fling.


And, I am actually happy for you. I just don't get why people feel the need to TALK about something, when they should be actually DOING it.


Like I said, men have been and are doing it ALL THE TIME.


Repeating something, even in CAPS, doesn't make it true, ya know...
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 21
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how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:45:48 PM

Men feel threatened by women who go after what they want sexually.


...Absolutely not!! I love it when women know exactly what they want sexually!! That way there is no beating around the bush....lol......like the Nike commercials, I "Just do It"........:)



Puts a lot more pressure on the fellas.

....pressure in the right places is always a good thing..........lol......

Sorry - I couldn't resist the little play on those words............
 AquaLinda
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 22
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:46:53 PM
Pocket Eights, see you get it. And you are right - rather than moaning about not having any luck dating women, a lot of guys should get of their butts and get into shape, better themselves, whatever. I lost a lot of weight twice after each pregnancy. I have no respect for guys who are overweight or out of shape. To me it signals laziness and lack of discipline . It is biologically much easier for guys to lose weight and get ripped. Guys expect women to like them for their "character" or "personality", while women are expected to have that PLUS look good. Doesn't work that way for me. If I'm not physically attracted, I won't date you. Period. Just being brutally honest here.
 Traumerin
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 24
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 2:48:57 PM
detroittiger, I was an ugly duckling in my teenage years and guys didn't give me the time of day because I wasn't "hot". Times have changed, I look pretty good these days, and I'm doing the same thing every guy does - dating the hottest person he can attract. Welcome to the real world of dating - it's not a charity.
 Traumerin
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 25
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 3:07:00 PM
LOL, so I'm an "entitlement princess". I can live with that. And sure, guys date women they are not attracted to all the time. And they never trade in their aging wives for younger models. No, that never happens, guys are totally willing to settle even if they could do "better". What fantasy world do you live in? If it's OK for guys to go after the models, it's Ok for women to go after the hotties as well.
 daneil912
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 27
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/23/2013 4:58:46 PM
detroittiger007

your not ugly-- in fact you are my type-- but i bet im not yours lol
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 29
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/24/2013 3:58:02 PM

….usually see maybe 5 women a day that I want to introduce myself to. So lets say I have sent out just over 100 messages.


Um. You joined two and a half weeks ago. You’ve found over 100 viable dating prospects in that short time, really? Yet no one in real life?

I wasn’t on here before to make comparisons, but why wouldn’t you and everything else change in seven years? You might have to do things a bit differently, like, being a bit more choosy about your dating selection, and realizing that maybe you appear differently to women, as well.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 30
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how times have changed!
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:51:49 PM
Young lady you sound like a teenager. ......Says the guy with the " Arnt I a cool person taking a pic of myself with my phone in a mirror" As many teens do on facebook :-)

Dettroiter
Your just a bit bruised mate cos your not getting shed loads of messages. If she sets her bar high and only wants to date the best looking blokes she can find then why not? Dont tell me that when you dont go in a bar /club and see a very attractive girl you think "mmmm I bet she has a lovely personality" - Yea right! its her cute face/bum/boobs/legs that initially attract you.

Behave ...IF you thought you had the looks and persona to attract really hot looking women then 1. You prob wouldnt be on POF and 2. You would be of the same mindset as her
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 31
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:52:56 PM
online dating has changed drastically in the past few years. even more so for us men. the ladies will probably argue, but its really not their fault since they dont run into the same issues men do on here.

for most men, the only way to be "successful" on here is to date down. you really cant expect to meet a woman on your level on here. now, this wont be true for everyone, but thats how it is for most of us. the type of woman we would normally have no problems dating in the real world will probably not respond to our messages on POF. this does create a situation where POF can become a great place for a fling. however, youre probably going to have to hook up with women who are older, fatter, or just all around uglier than you are.

what i suggest to all the men i know is this: dont put much effort into online dating. the rewards arent worth the effort. dont send long messages out to 100's of women. its a waste. occasionally, when you see a girl you find interesting, drop her a short message. if she likes your pics she will respond. in the meantime, start talking to more women out in the real world. most of us will have better luck there.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 32
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:45:31 AM

If I'm not physically attracted, I won't date you.


For a woman to say that points out that she's an entitlement princess


Wait? So a woman is a princess unless she dates men she finds unattractive?
What a silly concept.
Entitlement?
Yep, you bet.
Everyone is entitled to date people based on their own attraction gauge.
If that makes them a princess, then I know some men that need a new gown and tiara.

What utter nonsense young man...
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 34
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how times have changed!
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:10:51 AM

im below average looking anyway. Whatever. It's been discussed in "Ask a girl" thread and everyone is to an agreement that women on here are very,very picky looks wise on a guy. And that's why many decent guys are left single. Notice, i didn't say "Nice guy" Yes nice guys suck i agree. I know my looks is why i'm single, nothing i can do to change that


Dude.....put some effort into changing things you can.

Its amazing what happens if you put some effort into yourself. None of us are perfect. There is always room for improvement. If you take the time (and attitude) to make a few changes its cool to see how people react.

I played a pretty big victim when I got divorced and blamed everybody but myself. It was only after I realized some of my shortcomings and worked on changing myself that I was able to be (way more) successful at landing great dates..........

Just pick one or two things and focus. It'll better your chances........just sayin'.
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