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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?      Home login  
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 minervyx
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 1
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
this is just a theory, i wanna know what you all think

but if a straight guy would go into a gay bar, there would still be an equal ratio of women.

sure many women there are gay, but there are also bisexual women.

and i'd have little to no competition from the other men.

gay men are often friends with straight hot women. many gay guys bring their straight female friends as wing-girls just for fun.

so it's like having a gay guyfriend introduce u to all his girlfriends, but indirectly.

your thoughts?
 oh_SoCurious
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 2
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/22/2013 10:16:08 PM
Just don't. One of the reasons I go to a gay bar is that sometimes I just want a fun night out without someone hitting on me. Don't ruin those poor women's evenings.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 3
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/22/2013 10:21:39 PM
The straight guy who goes alone, looking to pick up, in the gay bar is a pathetic object of ridicule and contempt, viewed as a pervert. In many places it will get you thrown out, and at some, you risk a beating as well.

The straight guy who goes there with gay friends and is not trying to pick up at all, just having a good time with his buddies, is admired for his security in his masculinity and often gets picked up by a cute bisexual girl or fag hag.

You cannot, of course, simply choose to be the second guy. And if you already had a lot of gay friends, you would already know all this, so you're definitely not that guy.

Not recommended.
 RJHistoryGirl
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 4
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straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/22/2013 10:43:18 PM
Urg. I wouldn't do that if I were you. Years ago, I used to hang out sometimes with my gay friends at this wonderful little place in DuPont Circle...

Scenario: Gay guy brings his straight girl friend to the gay bar. Chances are VERY high he brought her there for: fun, dancing, drinks, to get away from all the straight jerks she deals with regularly. He'll watch her back. Hard. Straight guy messes with her in a way she doesn't like (or sometimes in a way she doesn't really mind or notice) and he (and his friends) will usually put a stop to it. Quickly. In my case, often before I noticed. In the case of my lesbian friends, it was even faster, no one who wasn't on their "approved" list could even get near me- male or female, especially when I was pregnant. Same basic thing STILL happens with my attached female straight friend who goes to the gay bar with her gay male best friend to dance and destress. Let's just say that our gay friends are somewhat protective.

IME, the bisexual girls usually take care of themselves, but they always had backup if you couldn't or wouldn't take no for an answer. In the case of the places I used to go, management would toss out a straight no questions asked if there was a complaint by a regular. From talking to my friends, not a whole lot has changed.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 5
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/22/2013 10:51:15 PM
I think you have to cultivate the relationship first – shopping together and watching Stars on Ice, maybe trade tips on bj’s and bad-hair days and go from there.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 6
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/22/2013 11:15:06 PM
Sounds like a hassle-filled method for a straight guy to meet a straight woman.
A woman getting her drink on in a gay bar is likely NOT seeking the attention of straight guys at that time.
Let her have her drinks and hang with her gay friends in peace.
 NVcollegeguy
Joined: 9/3/2012
Msg: 7
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 12:05:14 AM
I do know a few women that frequent gay bars and the main reason they go there is not to be hit on so I doubt it would work.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 8
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 3:35:58 AM
you're 22 and thinking things through pretty much like most guys your age think things through.... clutching your balls in one hand and a drink in the other. this is normal.

now head on out to those gay bars, son, and have a blast. this is how guys your age figure things out... by being oblivious to consequences, impervious to criticism, and throwing shit against the wall just to see what sticks. if you can't be good, be safe.

many adventures await such men in the middle east. you'll never get any kudos for cruising a gay bar, but you could be a bleeping hero bro for blowing up a few villages in somebody else's war. have you considered talking to your local army recruiter??
 The_Whole_of_the_Moon
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 9
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 3:50:34 AM
In your little scenario you missed one thing.

How will you react when the gay guys start hitting on you ? If you're a good looking guy it's going to happen all night.
 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 10
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 4:20:30 AM

but there are also bisexual women and i'd have little to no competition from the other men.

You missed one step in your logic - men can be bisexual as well.


gay men are often friends with straight hot women.

You've been watching too much softcore porn. Besides, if those "straight hot women" go to a gay bar, are they really looking to meet a straight man?

Better to stick to straight clubs, where straight women are looking. It's less complicated than trying to tell the bisexual women from the lesbians.
 YourFutureHusband2013
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 11
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 8:19:22 AM
Any straight man who hangs out with gay/bi men is possibly a down low f_ggot...Anyone who can't entertain that possibility is simply stupid. Two birds of feather flock together.

Men who are truly secure with their sexuality wouldn't even want to hang out with gay/bi men just to prove a point.
 YourFutureHusband2013
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 12
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 8:22:18 AM
Any straight man who can even tolerate that environment is possibly gay/bi or on the down low...
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 13
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 8:50:20 AM
Mystery profile man;

I think it's a great idea. Girls I've dated have been adventurous and open to new experience.
Young girls you date have likely never been in a gay bar and would appreciate you escorting them to one.

Assuming you are not a frequenter of gay bars you would also enjoy the novel experience.
I've been in a gay bar and found the techniques used to signal interest fascinating.
It's a whole different system from what women use to signal interest.
Don't be surprised to feel something brush lightly against your crotch or overhear a comment
about your lovely ass. You'll get lots of lingering eye contact. Watch your date doesn't get jealous.
 Lucky...13
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 14
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 9:12:17 AM
Seriously???
 Fatuglybaldcreeper84
Joined: 1/5/2013
Msg: 15
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 9:22:20 AM
Lowest common denominator theory
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 16
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History
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 9:55:59 AM
Cruising Gay Bars to pick up women? Interesting approach. I hope you and than nice transvestite find true love together.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 17
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 10:30:50 AM
LOL, that's very creative. The problem is that the gay guys will hit on you. Is that really what you want?!
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 18
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straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 11:06:03 AM
Uh ya. Studies have proven the men most arroused by gay porn are those with declared homophobic views. So, the ones saying how a guy must be gay to be in such an enviroment are more likely merely projecting their own fantasies. Ones without an issue are the ones secure in their orientation and thus not threatened by what'd amount to flattery from men with unusually high standards. If a gay man flirts with you, a straight man, take it as praise from Caesar. :)

100% Jeff!
When living in Adelaide we wanted a night out which included caberate and dancing and my girlfriend suggested the Mars Bar club which was a well known gay night club.

I have to say it was one of my best nights out ever clubbing. It wasnt full of guys getting rat faced and leering a girls. There were no aggressive nutters looking for any excuse to cause a fight. The floor wasnt full of testerone and alcohol fuled guys crowding around attractive girls. At one point she went to the loo and after a few mins this guy started talking to me - To be honest I didnt realise he was hitting on me until the girlfriend returned and he apologised saying he didnt know we were together. We laughed about it and talked with this guy along witha couple of his male and female friends. A totally relaxed chilled night out - Even saw a hen party and the women seemed to be having a great time.

If by going to a gay bar people want to assume that I must be gay then as Jeff said, it just shows how stupid and arrogant as well as immature some people are. While I am straight I have friends of varying sexual orientation who frequent both straight and gay clubs. Where you choose to eat or seek out entertainment is not a statement of your sexuality.

As for the poster who thinks going to a gay bar increases his chances of attracting a woman - Jeesh he needs to address his insecurities and grow up a bit more before throwing himself on some poor girl who would prob have to delete every male number from her phone and social networks to curb his paranoia that she might find someone better than him
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 19
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 11:20:15 AM

this is just a theory, i wanna know what you all think

but if a straight guy would go into a gay bar, there would still be an equal ratio of women.


I'm comfortable with my own heterosexuality to admit that I've been to a gay bar before with a friend from my group of close friends who happens to be gay. The drinks were super cheap and we went made a pit stop before we all went to our final destination.

I thought the women there were all lesbians. But, in fact I would say 90% of the women in there that night were heterosexual. Long story short, I made out with one that night
and the other was messing around with a bisexual girl, but when she looked at me while were dancing, she knew I was not gay (and whispered to me, that she was heterosexual).

Bottom line: Have a friend who identifies as LGBT that you can go with so you don't look like you're "on the prowl." If your game and presentation is decent, the women who are heterosexual will have no problem with you. In fact, they may even be relieved that can have a little fun. Most men are uncomfortable with their sexuality to even go in the first place leaving more for you. Also, when everyone is hooking up around them, they'll be even more open to it since most women HATE being alone/left out.

Can't harm you, only help. You'll be surprised to discover that there a LOT of hetereosexual women that go these places -- the reason why they go is to escape the usual b/s that goes in heterosexual bars. Therefore, at a gay bar her DEFENSES are DOWN.

GO FOR IT!
Confidence is the KEY
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 20
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 11:47:13 AM
H0wAboutIt, very good post, I agree with most of it. It's nice to see a young man who actually has game here.

I still say with the gay bar thing... do you really want a gay guy too close to you, leaning over and drooling all over you?! It's going to happen if you go, trust me, LOL! Unless perhaps you are ugly? One thing is for sure... you will quickly discover why beautiful women sometimes get sick of getting hit on by guys they are not attracted to. Might not be a bad idea just for that experience. But I'm not saying I recommend it... don't cry to me about it later, I don't want to hear it.

Actually, "regular" Unisex or straight bars, can be one of the easiest places to meet women... but only if you know the secret. But there is a dark side to it, and it's not for everybody.
 Lucky...13
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 21
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 1:09:12 PM
"Funky Cold Medina" you know what I'm sayin?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 22
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 2:14:06 PM
My guess of the girls (and I'm sure I'm wrong on it but probably it's better for a straight guy):
60% Lesbian or Bi-but-basically-lesbian
30% Bi
10% Straight

So, IMO, you'd have 40% of the girls there as potentials -- assuming they're single. 40% of 50% of the crowd being girls, is 20% of everyone in there.

I think it's a good idea, though -- I've been to a couple a few times over the past 12-15 years. Women tend to have their "guard" down, and yes, you have less straight-male competition.... although there are bi guys there who can compete with you for the ladies. But all in all, better than a standard sausage-fest bar, no doubt.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 23
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 2:15:07 PM
Out of all the gin joints in all the world why would you pick that one?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 24
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 2:50:26 PM
This is ridiculous. There are two types of gay bars, the ones that cater mainly to male gay guys, and the ones that cater to mainly gay women. That does not mean that they do not attract one or the other. Many gay men, have as friends gay women, so they may be present in that environment, same thing the other way around. As a straight guy, looking for straight women there, you more than likely are not going to have a lot of luck because even the straight women there, were interested in not getting hit on. So they are hanging with their gay friends.

There are some gay bars that have become so popular and or famous that they attract the late night crowd of straight people. Atlanta for instance had a few of those. They attract a lot of people that work in the restaurant business, so after serving people all night, they want to chill out, or go nuts. I still, do not see this as a good place to pick up because people tend to go there, not by their selves but with their group of friends.
 wonderland013
Joined: 12/3/2012
Msg: 25
straight men meeting women at gay bars? good/bad idea?
Posted: 1/23/2013 2:55:53 PM
well if these methods of approaching women catch on too much then the guy clubs with end up having more straight men in their then gay one's. it will become the standard bar.

start to feel sorry for the gay guy's haha. best to stick with the usual spots.
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