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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?      Home login  
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 ripcurl7772
Joined: 9/14/2012
Msg: 1
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER? I love going to shows but the girl im dating 7 months wont ever go. Even if I pay, even if its a band she listens to, playing 2 blocks from her house. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? We have dozens of other issues leading to breaking up every month for a few days but at the end of the day she doesn't want to date anyone besides me other wise she would be. SHe is 37 years old. Yesterday I went to a concert alone cause she didn't feel like going, and it wasn't like it was the loudest heavy metal. It was 35% woman in the concert and it was for just two and a half hours. Still no go. 5th time she turned down a concert, and she knew she would likely have to wait 5 days to see me a different day, so she would rather not see me then hang out at a concert for a few hours cause I was going either way. Ive just never heard of a thing, on long island girls go to concerts all the time with the boyfriends, or husband, or with friends.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 2
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:12:16 PM

on long island girls go to concerts all the time with the boyfriends, or husband, or with friends.

Yeah? Maybe she doesn't want any of the above-mentioned people seeing her out at a concert with her "other" boyfriend? Could be? Otherwise, no, never heard of such a thing. Too weird. Little suspect.
 Lucky...13
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 3
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:13:56 PM
How convenient of her to be in a relationship with you but refuses to be seen in public with you
 RussArtLover
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 4
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Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:16:20 PM
High Anxiety. Been there. I love outdoor concerts but for the 2 years I was seeing one girl I couldn't do it. Indoor sure, clubs no problem. But anything outdoor I'd freeze up and squiggle out of it.
 Fatuglybaldcreeper84
Joined: 1/5/2013
Msg: 5
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:20:22 PM
I really don't like concerts man. I absolutely hate big crowds of people.
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 6
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:27:25 PM

I really don't like concerts man. I absolutely hate big crowds of people.



^^^ yeah what he said
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 7
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:28:13 PM
can you get her to be specific in her reason?
is it dislike of crowds?
maybe its the smell of pot that is usually smoked at concerts.
i bet she has a valid reason .
 daneil912
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 8
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:31:33 PM
i hate concerts
crowds- pot smoking-- lewd behavior- too loud--


im a huge fan of phil collins but ive NEVER been to a concert
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 9
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 8:05:04 PM
Do you and she have the same musical tastes? I wouldn't be interested in going to a concert if it wasn't the type of music I like. You mentioned she's 37 and the concert you planned on going to wasn't the loudest heavy metal. Chances are, at heavy metal or rap and hip-hop concerts are going to be filled with teenagers who act stupid at concerts, which could be her concern. I used to love heavy metal and constantly went to concerts, but after a while, I outgrew the need to always go to a concert and would feel out of place at a concert now, since they are geared to kids-teenagers and 20-something crowd.

There's a bigger issue than her lack of interest in concerts. It's your statement:
"We have dozens of other issues leading to breaking up every month for a few days".
Fixing those dozens of other issues should take priority over her lack of wanting to go to concerts with you. Maybe when you fix those issues (if it's possible), she might be more receptive to going to concerts with you.
 SmilingRai
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 10
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 8:15:50 PM
I honestly don't understand what's wrong with that, OP. I hate crowded places and hate listening to my most favored bands in concerts because it's not the same perfect sound that I fell in love with. It's harder to hear each word being sang or even enjoy your time when people are crammed in one place and all you think about is how loud of the bass is. To me, it's a waste of money.
 Aww-Ree
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 11
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 8:29:42 PM
lucky...13


"How convenient of her to be in a relationship with you but refuses to be seen in public with you"

The OP said nothing about her refusing to be seen in public with him. I don't seen your negative spin adds much of anything other than to rewrite what he actually said.

There could be many reasons this woman doesn't wish to attend a concert many of which have already been stated. I find it curious OP having dated this woman for a number of months you have no clue as to why she refuses to go. I would think by the 5th time asking and she refused, your curiosity as to why she won't go might have initiated the question...Why not? Maybe part of your "other issues" have to deal with lack of communication and understanding of one another's likes and dislikes. Plenty of couples have things they enjoy doing as individuals that the other person isn't interested in doing...that is why those same couples find things of mutual interest that they can do together. So...you like to go to concerts and she doesn't, instead of trying to push her into doing something she does not care to do...why don't you just find someone else to go with. Seems a simple fix to me. :)
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 12
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 8:35:33 PM
I agree with what some others have stated. She might not like big crowds, loud noise, or the behavior of some people at these events. I know some people who are big sports fans. But don't go to any major sporting events because of some of the same reasons.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 13
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 8:35:44 PM
Maybe she is agoraphobic and afraid of crowds. You said there were dozens of issues leading to breaking up every month for a few days. It sounds like she is not the woman for you.
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 14
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:03:08 PM
You've been dating her 7 months but you've been on POF for the last 4 months looking for a LTR.
You don't stay in a relationship because you feel you are doing her a favor on account that she doesn't want to see anybody else; that is her problem and not yours.

If you don't like the fact that she doesn't want to attend concerts with you then just STOP seeing her; its that simple!
 ripcurl7772
Joined: 9/14/2012
Msg: 15
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:09:30 PM
Well she said tonight by text when I asked "Dont you think two hours of music I don't listen to is a bit excessive?". I didnt even argue because im realizing two things. SOme people just arent into music. I listen to music two hours a day easily just driving and at home. Also realizing by reading this forum, how many people dont "like" concerts. I had no idea. I had never heard someone say they hate concerts. I go to concerts every week or two. Everyone I had ever dated liked going. I just asumed everyone likes music and concerts.
 dcinsc13
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 16
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:43:04 PM
I think she is crazy especially if she like the band!!!
I LOVE music and I LOVE it LIVE and LOUD!!!
I have been going to concerts for years and I don't plan on stopping!!!
 Lucky...13
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 17
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:46:47 PM
In a relationship there needs to be compromise and sometimes sacrifices made. Maybe she's just not into you
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 18
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:50:19 PM
She’s turned down five concerts and you still haven’t figured out why? You have ‘have dozens of other issues leading to breaking up every month’. Have you figured out any of that stuff yet?

When you’re finished venting here, you need to go communicate with her. Your part in that will be mostly paying attention.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 19
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:59:46 PM
Op,you and she sound incompatible to me with Music not being the only issue.
I think id be driven mad with someone too focused on something i was only mildly interested in,too....

Find someone whose passion for music equals yours and you'll be happy,happy,happy!
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 20
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History
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 10:19:49 PM
Is it about concerts, music, crowds, anxiety....? It does matter, doesn't it?
 apafely
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 21
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 10:57:12 PM
I am in a giddy mood, I had my first cup of coffee in three days.

So I apologize, but I loved this line: "Even if I pay". Wow. What a telling story in four words.

I think you should think about dragging her to the National Ballet or to the MET. See a good funky Beethoven recital on piano, or a Bernardo Comprende Nonplusultra Double Bass Solo concert.

There was one featured in a movie once. A guy's wife got into money, they were low-life, but she wanted to become educated in the arts to the same level as her wealth. So she went on a tour of Europe, and one station of her classifying education, or education to beautify her class, she was at a Double-Bass solo recital. I have only twice laughed harder at musical performances, and it's something, because music does not make me laugh.

The room with the recital was a larger hall, at least larger than the number of seats sold would require. Easily three times larger. The hall had been built in the Rococot style of the seventeen hundreds. Gilded stuff everywhere. The floor was hardwood, and there was the Soloist, facing about 50 antique chairs, on which sat 50 high society ladies and gentlemen, all dressed to the hilt. The chairs were visibly uncomfortable, despite being upholstered. They were small, narrow, and put way too close to each other, despite the room being big. The people sat there quietly, very erect, (staright back), without moving a muscle. They were spirited as they were transcended by the fine chords of the music, of the amost imperceptible genius behind the melody. The melody, as played by the world famous double-bassist, consisted of two or three random notes, depending on whether he was pulling or pushing the bow over the chords.

This was hilarious. Now that I see it in my description, it is not so much; you had to be there. You have to know the kind of people. These dudies could easily afford to go to any World Wrestling Federation Wrestling Triple-Header Bill, to a tractor-pull demolition derby of their choice, or to take as many rides on a Death-Mountain roller coaster as they wished, and yet they chose this concert over some enjoyable and humanly tolerable fun, as the ultimate in entertainment value for their bucks.

So maybe your unbelievable girlfriend would love that. A Bach chamber music evening, in tuxedos that won't let you breathe the whole night. Or a Mozar opera, till you keel over. Or a Wagner Himmelgotterwetterdammerung, opera, from the Der Ring.

Then you would know exactly how she feels when you invite her to the concerts. It would be music-sensitivity training for you, and I wish all young guns would need to go to one, before they have their first date with a really attractive woman ten years or more their senior.
 apafely
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 22
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/24/2013 11:16:20 PM
"Op,you and she sound incompatible to me with Music not being the only issue.
I think id be driven mad with someone too focused on something i was only mildly interested in,too....

Find someone whose passion for music equals yours and you'll be happy,happy,happy!"

-------------------

As much as most of us respondents flashed a well-meaning red flag to the young OP dudie, like the one above I completely see his point.

I went through the same thing. Not so much about music and concerts, although that too. My girl and I had daily fights. I was passive aggressive, she was viciously jealous. She was gorgeous, and I was a young viking then. She was 23 years older than I. We had our share of daily fights, and daily reagreements.

You see, sex was fantastic, and there was a meeting of minds. Intellectually. I despised her character, though, and she did not consider me to be a "man". i was a "boy".

So we went on like this... for nine years. On and off, off and on.

The best nine years in my life.

-------------------

What I mean to say is that it is much too rash to decide "she is not the woman for you". She may be, she may not be. Future only can and will decide.

The concert thing is nothing. And the daily fights are not making things comfortable, but maybe you and her need no comfort as long as you got each other. I don't know, I am just shooting these "maybe" ideas out there. Only you, OP, and your dickie, and your friend and her chickie know for sure, and maybe not even any of the four of you.

 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 23
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:54:38 AM
I used to enjoy concerts before I injured my back seriously many moons ago. Part of my recovery involved having ribs removed from my left side to be used in a bone transplant to rebuild a part of my spine.

Now my left side is vulnerable, if someone pokes me it feels like Im being poked in the lung as the ribs are not there on that side to protect that lung.

In crowds where alcohol is served and mary jane is being smoked, I dont feel safe anynore. I am small framed and when someone bumps into me I have a higher than normal potential for being injured. Added to that, todays society is just plain rude and people will trample you to get what they want.

I dont go to concerts anymore for this reason. It just is not worth the pain of being injured and the stress of constantly watching my back all evening because someone behind me is drunk/stoned and cannot walk properly. To pay to have this experience doesnt equate in my mind so I stay clear. I have also turned down free tickets to amazing concerts. I just dont want to go anymore.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 24
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Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:59:06 AM
So, you're saying you went to a heavy metal concert instead of spending time with your girlfriend, even though that meant you wouldn't see her for five days?
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 25
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 7:39:16 AM
That would be a deal breaker for me...
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