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Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 1
Time wasters.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I really am unsure of why I'm back on POF. Is it perhaps due to boredom, hope, or accessibility? Nonetheless, I have become so frustrated with the "selection" of guys on here. I've been on a total of four dates with guys off of POF and they all share similar negative qualities. I mean, their profiles sound great, but in person, they are far from anything posted in their profile. What aggravates me the most is the fact that these four guys did too good of a job wasting my time. Initially, it starts with the constant (and immediate) POF messaging, then moves on to exchanging cell phone numbers, in which the texting is endless. In most of my aforementioned cases, I would text a guy for at least a solid week (everyday, multiple times a day) if not more. The text exchanges didn't just consist of "hey, hows it going?", "what's up" either. I would put so much time and effort into texting someone as if I were communicating with them in person. After the texting stage, I would meet up with the "potential candidate", if you will, and the date would seemingly go well. Usually, I send out a follow-up text describing how I enjoyed the night and leave it at that. It seems as soon as I stop texting a guy for what seems like 24/7, they get pissy and stop talking to me altogether. They don't even have the decency to respond to me even when I'm the one who's going out of my way to make conversation. So, because I can't talk to a guy 24/7 (I have a life too, you know?), they think it's best if they ignore me and talk to me less...? That makes no sense to me whatsoever. I'm just so angry that I spend and WASTE all my time on someone who seems so eager to talk to me, but in actuality, is so quick to get rid of me? Ugh...
Joined: 11/4/2012
Msg: 2
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:39:52 PM
someone who is fun, yet motivated!
-someone who will make me laugh.
-" " who cares
-although I rarely ask for anything from others, I'd love to be occasionally treated and reciprocally respected.
-someone who I can be myself around
-someone I can learn from
-" " who is educated
from your profile.....................
This describes 99.9% of the guys on here.You would love to be occasionally treated with respecT???? Girl, you want to be treated with respect 100% of the time. Scrap the profile, and give it more thought. You are a cute chic, and i see lots of emotion in your face. Dont be afraid to tell them exactly what you are like, and what you are looking for.Make em work for ya, and the cruiser will leave you alone.

Now Git R Done !!!
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 3
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:07:03 PM
Haha, thank you. That reply was reassuring! It just makes me wonder why this keeps occurring to me on POF. I guess I'm just needing to look in the right place.
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 4
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:13:03 PM
You achieved your goal. Just "wasted " 2 minutes of my life reading this post. Thanks OP!
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 5
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:13:26 PM

I would put so much time and effort into texting someone as if I were communicating with them in person.

Op,that should be your first clue - STOP with all the texting crap with someone you haven't even met and pick up the damned phone and call him or ask him to CALL you!
Ascertain that he's somewhat coherent and can string 2 sentences together and that he sounds ok......geddit?
All this texting can get either tiresome and/or boring to the extent that any interest just vanishes!
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 6
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:16:15 PM
I'm with Pinky.

I would put so much time and effort into texting someone as if I were communicating with them in person.

Stop doing that!
Joined: 1/15/2013
Msg: 7
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/26/2013 9:15:29 PM
You already said why you waste time on it, due to boredom, hope, or accessibility, the basic reasons for wasting time are the same and it's not total insanity, because only some qualities seem to be repeating the same process, you might be meeting people and getting the same results but at least you are meeting different people, this part makes you totally sane and an excellent time waster.
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 8
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/26/2013 11:47:33 PM
I knew I was guaranteed to receive a snarky, immature comment, but oh well. After all, I'm not forcing anyone to read this.
Joined: 1/20/2013
Msg: 9
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/27/2013 12:11:00 PM
I share your pain :) Dating is tough these days and POF seems more like the dead sea .... I have never met a man of quality through this site and usually just end up reading the forums to break the monotony.
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 10
view profile
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/27/2013 12:17:35 PM
Don't text.

In my experience, time wasters text. Men who are interested in getting something real going call.
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 11
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/27/2013 12:52:33 PM
The next one could be your prince charming. It won't be a waiste of time if you meet your goal.

If you don't quit, you can't loose...
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 12
view profile
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/5/2017 11:32:47 PM do the "time wasters" compare to the men you date in real life? The men you hook up with through friends & family? The men you meet in public at coffee shops, on the streets, in clubs and bars? The men your Mom begs you to date because they are educated and have a good job?

Did any of those REAL LIFE dates waste your time? Are you married? Do you have a ring on your finger and a house that's paid for?

Are you dating ANYONE in real life....or.....are all those men "time wasters" ???
Joined: 9/2/2016
Msg: 13
Time wasters.
Posted: 2/11/2017 11:28:29 PM
Well, you made it farther than I have. I get to the texting/calling phase, but when it comes to dating, they just pretty much disappear. I would recommend to stop assuming that everybody else is the problem, a lot of the times it could be you. Maybe you weren't interesting enough, they just weren't into you. I still haven't figured out how to ask women out without turning them off, so I need to work on that part.
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 14
Time wasters.
Posted: 2/12/2017 9:09:45 AM
I would suggest you stop investing so much of your time and effort into the phone calls and texting

do a quick meet and greet over coffee

and then move on if it is a no-go
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 15
Time wasters.
Posted: 2/13/2017 2:32:07 PM
I guess the OP didn't want to waste time in here any longer and has gone kapoof.
Joined: 12/16/2016
Msg: 16
Time wasters.
Posted: 2/19/2017 5:55:29 PM
The dating scene is heavily populated with codependents because people perfectly capable of entertaining themselves at all times don't really feel as deep a need to date. As an introvert- ALL my relationships inevitably end because I get drained from having to be the constant source of entertainment for emotional man children
Joined: 12/15/2016
Msg: 17
Time wasters.
Posted: 2/19/2017 7:41:31 PM
OP I agree with you. In fact I miss the days when you got one long phone call in the evening and discussed your day. The incessant texting doesn't go far with me, either with dates or with friends. I also think it's because a lot of people use the POF app on their phone, they are typing with one finger and it's pretty hard to make good conversation in this fashion.

If there is any connection or at least the impression that we can communicate, I voice the above (in a gentle way). Punching my phone with a finger is not my idea of getting to know a man.
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 18
Time wasters.
Posted: 2/19/2017 8:26:55 PM
actually I have no patience for texting
I want to hear your voice when you speak to me
texting lingo drives me out of my mind
especially from a middle-aged man
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 19
view profile
Time wasters.
Posted: 2/25/2017 3:20:45 AM
Joined: 5/1/2016
Msg: 20
view profile
Time wasters.
Posted: 6/7/2017 9:28:12 AM
That's bull shit and not true
Joined: 3/7/2017
Msg: 21
Time wasters.
Posted: 6/8/2017 7:47:31 PM

actually I have no patience for texting
I want to hear your voice when you speak to me
texting lingo drives me out of my mind
especially from a middle-aged man

I hear ya, for example I came across these today:

Emolument – Think you had better not wait
Emotion – Think you had better wait until
Emotional – Think you had better wait and sail
Empaled – Think well of party mentioned
Empanel – This is a matter of great importance
Nalezing – Do only what is absolutely necessary
Nalime – Will only do what is absolutely necessary
Nallary – It is not absolutely necessary, but it would be an advantage
Naloopen – It is not absolutely necessary, but well worth the outlay

edit opss sorry, those where from 1840's.

Text speak has been around as long was we started to write sh8t down, it shows that language is fluid and not static and using it is not always a sign of immaturity.

If you have worked for any of the Fortune 50 companies you soon learn there is a language that exists within the walls that only co-workers and industry people understand, at these places internally many of the times you speak in acronyms because it is quicker and more efficient.

What you have to say and how you say will always play a role in the words used.

Since we started marking up cave walls we have been finding ways to be more efficient, that is what it is to be human.

Joined: 12/24/2017
Msg: 22
Time wasters.
Posted: 12/27/2017 11:28:08 PM
From on now I'm telling the men, "No" I do not text and I can only receive calls after work hours after 530pm. (Teach people how to treat you). Their own shit and paranoid tendencies with shake them to the core. Chances are they will be gone before you turn your head.
Joined: 2/25/2018
Msg: 23
Time wasters.
Posted: 3/4/2018 9:47:39 AM

I agree some ladies seem to be insecure; who wouldnt be after miserable affairs and a rough divorce. I cant sympathize cause my wife of 25 years died of cancer 2 years ago; we never had that crap.

Well the love of my life girlfriend for over a year tried later on in our relationship to curb herself from looking at her d^$# phone; it was going along pretty good; we had 2 or 3 bad breakups due to lack of communication. The least 2 weeks of our relationship she was married to her cell phone and couldnt let go of it; I felt she was very insecure and I even felt for her; afterall I was madly in love with her.

Then it hit me; we werent communicating; very sad and I even started to feel like I was being used. Feelings and mixed emotions cannot be expressed over these phones, and Facebook is a Relationship Breaker I dont care what anyone says. I learned the hard way and I am suffering for it, trying to start over again.

Talk on a date site; KNOW who you are talking to; NO EMAILS WHATSOEVER; and finally OBVIOUSLY NO TEXTING until after a relationship starts. I have no friends to text to and it is kind of sad but I want to be in a relationship. My phone voice recognition even made mistakes and my girlfriend took it offensively; TEXTING IS BAD I HATE IT !
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 24
view profile
Time wasters.
Posted: 5/24/2018 4:16:14 AM

From on now I'm telling the men, "No" I do not text and I can only receive calls after work hours after 530pm.

It won't stop a prospective date from filling in the loneliness with random internet people and meeting people for 15-minute auditions over coffee. However, it'll certainly save you some frustration when you bring up the dreaded phone call -- cleans things out rather quickly!
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 25
view profile
Time wasters.
Posted: 1/10/2019 1:35:36 PM
Meet them ASAP. No texting except to exchange numbers for confirmation, and if for some reason one will be delayed or can't make it. You are the only one wasting time.
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