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 tallbrowneyedlady
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 1
please review my profile.Page 1 of 1    
Hi, I'd like to get more messages. I know I need better pix, which I'm working on. I wonder why we need to key 200 characters for the profile review request to be accepted? In 4 months I have met 4 men, 2 guys didn't like me, one guy put me into the friend category, and one guy liked me too much and was geographically undesirable. Actually I have a date tonight, hope it works out.Thank you
 ImReadyForUnow
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 2
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 12:45:03 PM
One think that is glaring when reading your profile is that you over sure the word "I", 28 times was my count!
You also write in lots of short sentences and it feels very sharp and list like. You also repeat yourself (*) in different places on your profile. Move some of your interests up to the interest section.

I like to work out,
go to movies,
museums,
concerts,
I like ethnic restaurants,
I appreciate nature *
I enjoy visiting state parks*
I enjoy family events,
like birthday parties.
I like conversation,
cuddling*
romantic evenings*
I enjoy affection*
romance*
dance lessons,
I enjoy being out doors*
I like to walk,
travel,
swim,
go boating,
go to water parks.

Group like things together in a sentence "Nature has always been an appreciation of mine and I combine my love of the great outdoors and walking while visiting our state parks."

"A romantic evening to me is one shared in each others arms on the dance floor or enjoying the affection that cuddling brings."

Remove the following.
"You must be able to read, write, and spell English." it says I have a problem with immigrants, those who whose education is not equal or higher than mine. It's the female version of saying you must have a high paying job, nice car and a phd. In other words Princess.
Then you say "I am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, and you aren't either, and that's OK." sorry too late we don't buy it. Remove this.

Finally.
You have a bad username. If you have to explain it then it's a bad idea and if someone sees tall liberal lady and they are not liberal then they are not reading your whole profile to see the clarification!
Go to your profile and change your name. New profile new name! Take the libra out.
 tallbrowneyedlady
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 3
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 1:08:40 PM
Thank You, I don't think I can change my user name, I looked and I don't see a way to do it.
 tallbrowneyedlady
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 4
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 1:15:07 PM
I know I have too many "I"s. I just don't know how to get rid of them.
 tallbrowneyedlady
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 5
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 1:24:01 PM
I made lots of changes, HappyBrit. Does my profile make sense now?
 ImReadyForUnow
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 6
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 1:24:31 PM
Go to "edit profile" on the first page that comes up scroll down to the bottom of the page.
On the left you will see a box with talllibralady in it. Take out your old profile name, type in a new one and hit save/update below!

As far as the "I's" I showed you how to change the sentence structure in my examples.
You are going to need to work on that :)
 ImReadyForUnow
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 7
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 1:51:25 PM
You're getting there. Here are some more notes....


I am an outgoing, emotionally stable,intelligent,honest, positive, person with a fun sense of humor.(you address the affectionate part of this list in a sentence below.)

My weekends are balanced with activities like working out, going to movies, museums, concerts, or relaxing at home. (Talk about a recent museum or concert you attended)
Recently I attended an exhibition at (fill in the blanks) where I enjoyed the wonderful art of (fill in the blanks) and I am looking forward to sharing the experience next time with someone special. Care to join me?
I like ethnic restaurants, especially Mexican. Chicken enchiladas covered with sour cream and queso blanco, washed down with a cold beer.(or diet Pepsi) is my favorite.
I enjoy good health, and I'd like to keep it that way, so I try to eat well, and stay active.
Nature has always been an appreciation of mine and I combine my love of the great outdoors and walking while visiting our state parks.
In the summer months swimming, water parks, and boating are pleasant ways to enjoy the sunshine and lots of fun!


The man that I am seeking is tall, healthy, intelligent, church going man who also has a sense of humor.
A man who appreciates simple things, like a walk on the Monon, or an ice cream cone, or watching fireworks on a hot July evening.
Someone who would enjoy an evening in each others arms on the dance floor or enjoying the affection that cuddling brings.
He like me would want a relationship that is based on trust, honesty, respect, communication,and mutual admiration.

If you are he...let's start the conversation.
 tallbrowneyedlady
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 8
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 2:17:52 PM
You must be a professional writer, or you should be.
 ImReadyForUnow
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 9
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 2:55:51 PM
No.
Far, far from it. I am actually dyslexic so I really have to work on the spelling side of things.
I don't see profiles as written words I hear them in my head and my brain sort of takes the words and puts them back together in a new way like a person speaking the profile.
I hear words as music, or see it as dance and foreplay. Weird I know!

I enjoy helping people and profiles are small enough to read not overwhelm me.

But thank you for the compliment.
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 10
view profile
History
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 3:29:37 PM
The use or overuse of 'I' in a profile will never matter much to a man. Brit was giving you her own personal prejudice towards it in regards to how *she* likes to read profiles. Which is fine, but just to let you from a male perspective, it's not a deal-breaker. Far...from...it.

The problem I see now is that you've tried to overcompensate for the 'I' by using 'we' which makes it sound worse in my opinion. When you use 'we' like that, it sounds like you're a controlling woman who has everything already mapped out for the man. 'We' becomes an presumption which is not the tone you want in your profile. A guy will start to think, "Wait a minute, why is she talking like that?" What you'd be better off phrasing it as, is to say that you are looking for a guy who will join you in all of those activities, without making it seem like it's an absolute requisite to date you.


I am not a Klingon. I don't need to be joined at the hip in a relationship. We don't need to be together 24/7.


I don't understand your point here. Why are you comparing yourself to a Klingon, of all things? Also, this isn't something you need to say out loud about not always being together. Even talking about a 'relationship' is getting ahead of yourself. First it's about going on a date to see if there's a connection or chemistry. One step at a time.
 ImReadyForUnow
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 11
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 3:37:46 PM
Daysleeper has some good points as a man reading your updated profile.

I usually help more men with their profiles than woman so my suggestions are coming from a female prospective :)
 tallbrowneyedlady
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 12
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/27/2013 5:04:10 PM
Thank you, daysleeper
 NatureGirlMaggie
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 13
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/28/2013 5:24:49 PM
In just now looking at your profile, I see you must have made a lot of changes; I think you should keep working on expanding those ideas Brit gave you, it is kind of a dull profile as is, and I don't think you really are dull at all.

One other thing, and I mean no offense -- lose that picture of you with the beat up weathered fence in the background; it is not very flattering. Good pics are hard to get -- I know because I can't seem to get any myself! Good luck, and never ever ever give up -- remember you have to put in the time and if it takes a lot of dates, and kissing a lot of frogs -- so be it!
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 14
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/28/2013 6:35:12 PM
Hi OP, maybe it is just me, but I don't care for a space between every line. Yes, there needs to be a space between the different sections, but it made it very hard for me to read the way it is.

I am an outgoing, emotionally stable, affectionate, intelligent, honest, positive, person.

You have some good adjectives here, along with some worthless ones. Outgoing, affectionate, and positive are good ones. Can you use one or more in a sentences to help us see WHY they are true? Intelligence is a very subjective word, what one considers intelligent another will not. I am going to make an assumption here in an attempt to make my point. You are refering to "book intelligence"? Maybe I am wrong but hopfully it will help make my point anyway. I know some very intelligent people that never graduated high school. They can see you have a degree at the top of your profile, therfore most will assume you are intelligent. I would delete that one. Honest is an assumed given, and something EVERYONE wants. Have you ever known anyone to admit they are dishonest? I don't either. Delete that one as well. Emotionally stable is likely to be interpreted quite differently by different men.
Some are like to roll their eyes and think YEAH RIGHT, yea doth protest too much. While other may appreciatethe confidence it shows. Your call.

I have a sense of humor.

Unless we can SEE it it doesn't exist. SHOW us don't TELL us. delete

I like to have fun

Yes, we ALL like to have fun, goes without saying. delete

I can appreciate simple things, like a walk on the Monon, or an ice cream cone, or watching fireworks on a hot July evening.

I can appreciate simple things, like a walk on the Monon, ice cream cones, or watching fireworks on a hot July evening.

On the weekends I like to work out, go to movies,or museums ,or concerts, or stay home.

I didn't look, are movies, museums, and concerts in your interest section? If not add them and delete this. The text of the profile is not for restating your interests. Unless you have something you are passionate about and can write at least one solid sentence on the subject. delete



I like ethnic restaurants, especially Mexican. I love a plate of chicken enchiladas, washed down with a cold beer.

I like ethnic restaurants, my favorite dish is a plate of chicken enchiladas, washed down with a cold beer.

I enjoy being out doors in the summer.

You said this before with your walks in state parks. delete

I like to walk,

Same as above

travel, swim, go boating, and go to water parks.

Add to interests if not already there. delete

You are a tall, healthy, intelligent, man who also has a sense of humor.

This is a minimal description of the man you seek, personality is what sells around here.


OFMM
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 15
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/28/2013 7:11:02 PM
I would change he first meeting. a Meal is far too long to spend
Still a lot of I's
and besides being tall I don;t know what you are looking for in a man
 tallbrowneyedlady
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 16
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/29/2013 6:27:48 PM
Thanks, I made more changes.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 17
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/29/2013 6:46:39 PM
looking good, still a lot of I's
You should lower the dating age, you look far younger than the stated age
I think you'll have to be aggressive and msg them men who interest you "_
Nicely done, you took all the hints to heart
Good luck
 T8kalook
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 18
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/29/2013 6:57:17 PM
First of all, I was blown away when I saw you are 61. Girl, you look GREAT!!! :)
I like you pics. I think it would be good for you to put more of your personality into the written part. What you say if fine...but it is so hard to get a feel for a person through words. Maybe expand like one of the other posts suggests:
For example: I am outgoing, affectionate, positive person.
You could expand a little and say,
I am a really outgoing person. I enjoy getting out and meeting new people. I tend to be very affectionate. I love to hold hands as we are walking on the beach. I strive to be positive. there is just too much negative in this world already.
Kind of give some indication what you mean when you say you are outgoing, affectionate, positive. Hope this helps some. Wish you the best!
 T8kalook
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 19
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/29/2013 7:00:12 PM

You should lower the dating age, you look far younger than the stated age

I completely agree!!!
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 20
view profile
History
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/29/2013 9:08:38 PM
Your profile is fine now, I don't think you should tinker any more with it. More than enough in there to attract a man and give them a conversation starter. This doesn't mean though that you sit on the sidelines. You can also say hello. ;)
 T8kalook
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 21
please review my profile.
Posted: 1/31/2013 5:25:08 PM
You got it PERFECT! :D
Keep it just like it is!
 NightNurseTom
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 22
please review my profile.
Posted: 2/1/2013 3:30:51 AM
That's a pretty swell profile. I'd probably write to you, at least. The lead picture with the dog makes you very approachable. And pretty. Not so sure about the shots against the blank wall, but what the heck - it ain't a photography contest.

How's it going with the reaching out to men who interest you? Personally, I'm pretty aggressive that way. I don't count on a woman contacting me. A lot of guys would be tickled to death if a woman who seems as sweet as you do noticed them.
 tallbrowneyedlady
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 23
please review my profile.
Posted: 2/1/2013 5:41:01 PM
Thnaks for compliments, everyone. Yes I do message men pretty often, but then I don't hear back and I get annoyed. I'm doing ok. I'm texting 2 guys now, and I have a date every weekend, so that works for me. Thanks for all the help.
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