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 Nofoldgold75
Joined: 12/1/2012
Msg: 1
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37 single and no clue how to date anymorePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I used to be good, great in fact at meeting people throughout my 20’s till I was about 31. I was in common law relationship for over 6 years. Now I'm single , (for about 6 months) and decided to go meet people(or try). I wrote on my profile “i’m not looking for anything serious right now, however you never know” I think that sends the wrong message?? I sent a few messages with little or no reply. Truth is I am fairly new to the city, I’m not looking for a booty call( don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t turn it down) LOL; Seriously though I’m just looking to meet new people and if it goes somewhere-Awesome, if not I met new friends right!?! Problem is I have no clue how to date anymore!
Maybe it is my profile? What do ya think?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/27/2013 1:23:48 PM
You really need to go to profile review for these sorts of questions.

Also, especially if you draw attention to yourself by posting in the forums, you need to use a LEGAL primary picture, which means your face has to be prominently visible.
 Nofoldgold75
Joined: 12/1/2012
Msg: 3
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/27/2013 1:31:07 PM
My bad, Changed the picture!
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 4
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/27/2013 6:55:08 PM
Well you can take some comfort knowing that i have no idea how to date and take note(not anymore-not ever).Only been on roughly 10 in my whole life .
Failed with everyone of them reasons e.g No Chemistry,A little under the financally stable mark, Lacking in the appearance department ....take your pick.

But i always tried my best to impress.

And whats more its very annoying when people say "Dating is so simple".
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 5
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/28/2013 3:05:36 AM
I feel you pain brother. I was married for 20 years to my high school love. I don't have a CLUE on how to date either. Dated maybe 10 girls before I meet her and no one since the divorce. I have had plenty of offers, just none that makes me want to get back on that horse. Hopefully one will come along one day, but until then gonna have some fun being by myself. Don't be so quick to jump back into the pool. LOL
 tanyahere71
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 6
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/28/2013 1:42:50 PM
seems all the good ones are in the UK, Wales, anywhere but here LOL ;)
 tanyahere71
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 7
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/28/2013 1:43:37 PM
come to Toronto and I will have a drink with you ;)
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 8
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:09:26 PM
"seems all the good ones are in the UK"

Isn't that the dang truth, seems like every woman that I would consider talking to is in the UK just about. LOL What in the crap is in that water there?
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 9
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/31/2013 3:38:56 AM
No worries!
Things are different now. It is a whole different process to falling in love...

Here's what you do:
1. Hire a creative writer for your profile so you can enhance, not lie about yourself
2. Professional photographer for amazing pics highlighting your best angles
3. Ask manager at local Starbucks if you can call ahead and reserve a table or better yet, a comfy couch!
4. Message as many women as you can. This can be done by having your creative writer come up with a copy and paste message that allows you to fill in pertinent details taken from the woman's profile with minimal effort.
5. Respond to messages in a fun and charming manner and suggest meeting at Starbucks.
6. Schedule yes responses. Don't forget to call ahead to reserve your couch. Oh, become a gold card member, each coffee purchase earns points for free drinks. That way you can be the gallant gentleman and buy her drink without breaking your wallet!
7. Most important.....if you cannot memorize your your interview questions....put them on your phone so you can run to the bathroom and refresh your memory. Also, put in your phone random, interesting tidbits of information. These can be used for awkward moments of silence or conversation direction changers!
8. You're on your own from here! Good Luck!

Seriously, I am clueless also! But it's probably, I'm not sure, like riding a bike! Disregard all of my aforementioned advice, except the Starbucks! Some women just love their coffee!!
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 10
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/31/2013 7:44:01 AM
I'm going to be a****and say: Its really not that tough.

When you're messaging back and forth talk about their comfort levels. Give them options. "You want to meet up for coffee or drinks? How about a meal? I could cook you up some fantastic mashed potatoes, but maybe we should save that for a second or third date."

If you want to get inventive, try wine tasting, bowling, museums, or a zoo. If you're worried that you're going to suggest the wrong thing and it'll be a hit or miss, don't. Women are people too and understand (usually) that you can't read their mind.

On the date try to be a gentleman. I'm not all that good at this, but I've had some luck with getting to open the door ahead of time. I usually date pretty liberal/feminist women too, and I have yet to offend anyone by doing this (and I'd like to think that any women that would be offended is going to be outspoken enough to tell me the first time I do it).

Don't expect sex on the first date. Be prepared, but don't expect it. My theory is that when you're not expecting it is when you're probably most likely to get it. Its just a theory though! There's been a time or two when being I've noticed some reluctance to get intimate with a woman and said something along the lines of "hey, we don't have to do anything" and believed it, only to be having sex shortly after.

Try to have fun. I think women are more attractive when they're having fun than when they're trying to be sexy and I'd like to think the opposite is true. Be positive.

That's all I got right now, although, not sure I should be the one giving advice. After all, I'm single!
 Ricke1100
Joined: 12/7/2012
Msg: 11
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/31/2013 8:59:22 AM

Seriously, I am clueless also! But it's probably, I'm not sure, like riding a bike! Disregard all of my aforementioned advice, except the Starbucks! Some women just love their coffee!!


I love it, this is the best advice ever KJ...

The only part you left out was hiring character actors or stand-ins to play the parts where we are weak. Poor sense of humor, no problem, for 5G you can have Louis CK step in for a 5 minute cameo. Problems in the bedroom, no problem, $750 will get you Dr. Ruth for a 15 minute consultation.....

If you you want to compete in this insane environment you better bring your A game and/or your checkbook....

But in the end I think we are all clueless, or at least we should be. If you happen to run into someone that has really figured this out and they are still here...you need to WATCH OUT!!!!
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 12
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/31/2013 9:11:44 AM
Ricke1100:

That was hilarious....didn't think of the actors!!

I think your advice was the best!
 jjoenyc73
Joined: 11/9/2012
Msg: 13
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/31/2013 11:40:10 AM

Schedule yes responses. Don't forget to call ahead to reserve your couch. Oh, become a gold card member, each coffee purchase earns points for free drinks. That way you can be the gallant gentleman and buy her drink without breaking your wallet!


I prefer a happy hour.Less platonic vibes. Also many other candidates to practice on ;).
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 14
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/31/2013 12:09:01 PM
jjoenyc73:
"I prefer a happy hour.Less platonic vibes"
I'm sure this works, also! And you what they say: desperate times call for desperate measures!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/31/2013 12:17:51 PM

i’m not looking for anything serious right now,


Whether you are or are not looking for anything serious, when you say that you are not looking for something serious, women in these sites simply assume that you just want to hook up and have sex.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 16
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 1/31/2013 6:38:43 PM
I'm not going to write while story that I'm in sme shoes. Number one if u out nothing serious I wouldn't even read or look at ur pics pass that point. Two Unfortunally ppl on here go after top five precent. So that group gets to pick and choose. So no unless u look like ripped supermodel or barie doll forget It
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 17
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/1/2013 6:09:48 PM
Forget it and take up motorcycling ,way more fun and way less hassles:D
 tonya_2012
Joined: 8/4/2012
Msg: 18
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 10:39:20 AM
Hey i read your profile and i didn't see anything wrong with your profile. I am having the same issue though i am 37 and don't know how to date either cause i have been in a relationship for 13 years and right now i just want to find a good friend and see what happens. I hope this helped ya and if you need anything please feel free to contact me on here
thanks
 zxcvbnmm
Joined: 9/25/2010
Msg: 19
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 10:57:59 AM
DRINK TEQUILA, FOOL!
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 20
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 11:30:08 AM
I''m 38 and in the same boat,I suppose if its ment to be it will be.I would suggest to volunteer ,have abunch of hobbies and just have fun to keep yourself busy.I dont hold too much breath or faith in POF or any of these online dating sites anymore.
 Be_enchanted
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 21
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 11:32:37 AM
Online you simply messages women and when one returns them, you give her your phone number and arrange a meet/greet or do so in the message. Easy-peasy. You simply find out what your mutually like to do and do them together. Do a meet/greet first and if that goes well, ask her out to supper and pick a quiet restaurant she or you favors.

Go on a few dates and see if they're chemistry sparking between the two of you; if so, be yourself, be calm, cool and collected; letting your great personality shine through.

Don't text or call too often; I personally can't stand that. Just speak on the phone to arrange another date seems to work well; at least it does for me.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 22
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 3:44:55 PM
I applaud your being honest about what you are looking for and not saying what will give you responses that you change after interaction starts.

When I first started dating after my marriage ended; I was looking for friends only and would literally only talk to people who were cool with that; it got me into the dating pool, comfortable being around guys where I didn't feel like I was cheating after almost 22 years with one person; and they knew I was not up for romantic; I was literally only looking for platonic friends. Some said that was cool but tried to change my mind; but both respected it; and it made it much easier to ease into the being avaiable to date for real.

If you say you are looking for friends and easing back into dating; there are women who are in the same boat I know; they will find you and they will be in exactly the same place and will be glad of your honesty.

It is refreshing to see; just say what you like to do; have good pics and reach out to others for their own sake; you will have no problem finding someone on the same page as you. I know a ton of them.

Best of luck to you :)
 Braediiliez
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 23
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/3/2013 8:37:52 PM
I agree motorcycles are a hell of alot of fun, and bonus is you meet alot of interesting people.
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 24
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37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/10/2013 4:50:44 PM
I think the only problem w that is most women dont ride or give two squats over a motorcycle
 Pisces22469
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 25
37 single and no clue how to date anymore
Posted: 2/16/2013 1:31:28 PM
Unfortunately, on POF there women outnumber the men 5:1. If you aren't in the top 10 in looks on your pictures you aren't going to get many replies.
I feel its important not to send out canned messages to the women. If they are getting several messages each day, it makes it easy for them to discard yours unless you are one of those in the top 10% in looks.
I probably send out 1 initial message a month. I keep busy with my hobbies & spending time with friends. If i get a reply, that's great. Maybe there will be enough there to carry it forward to speaking on the phone & meeting. If not, I'm still enjoying life outside of POF.
Best of luck to all.
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