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 Bostonbrat78
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 1
Putting out too soon????Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Ok, I guess I am looking for feedback from the fellas on this one. I would like to know if you can ever really respect a woman that puts out right away? Will you think she is easy and lose interest or can she still be"girlfriend material"?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/27/2013 6:03:12 PM
It depends very much on my sense of why she did so.

When it's my impression that she is really tuned in to me, and we are going with the flow of a fairly rational developing friendship, I would tend to think well of her (note that this has not happened to me very often!) .

However, if my sense is, that she is drunk, or desperate, or has her thoughts focused on someone or something not actually about me, then I am very put off, and have always immediately lost interest.

The simple equation of "if she says yes to sex too early, she's not girlfriend material" never surfaces. It's my opinion, that even the males who claim that they do think that, are just stumblingly trying to say something more along the lines of what I described. That, or they are themselves essentially horn-dog whores, and wouldn't accept any gal as a real GF, no matter what, as they are in "nail as many ho's as possible" mode.
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 3
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/27/2013 6:42:02 PM
Bostonbrat78,

I think it's better for a chick to spread like peanut butter as opposed to being some up tight worrisome woman who cares to much of what others think and puts sex on the back burner. I've known at least one woman who seemed rather into me, but was like this. It was a turn off! I want a woman who's sexually charged, strong, sponteaneous and independent enough to want sex and go after it. And at my age, I don't have the patience to wait around for women who are well into their adult years to realize their only getting older and should make the best of the opportunities they have.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 4
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/27/2013 6:57:01 PM
OP, it's really up to you. I had a female friend who had a 6 month policy...as far as i know she is still single. I hooked her up with a friend of mine. He tried for a month and broke it off lol..at least, he tried lol.. Men here, will pretend to be goody goody two shoes to sound moralistic lol. You have to analyze your potential date based on how much you like them and whether sex early is important for them to feel like you are committed...or not...and above all, you feel willing to put up ...
 Bostonbrat78
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 5
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/27/2013 6:58:56 PM
6 month policy?!?!?!? That's a little extreme lol.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 6
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/27/2013 7:03:38 PM

6 month policy?!?!?!? That's a little extreme lol.


No, that is a lot extreme!!
 raxarsr
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 7
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/27/2013 7:43:41 PM
know what op?....when the time is right......the time is right

parsonally...i'd as soon wait a bit.......sure its tempting.....but i'd rather make love than just get laid
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 8
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/27/2013 8:00:16 PM
It depends on what your relationship goals are!

If you wish to get into a stable LTR, then it would not be wise to "put out" too soon; until you get to know his intentions. Whether its 6 months or sooner is up to you to know when the right time is; depending on how well you've been able to figure him out, and if you have any feelings for him. If you only date somebody once a week then it may take longer than 6 months; but if you are dating him nearly every day then you may not need to take that long to decide when the time is right.

In your profile you say you are separated; which means you are still legaly married; in which case do not expect to find too many decent men who are willing to invest an indefinite amount of time in a serious relationship with you before you are officialy divorced.
 Bostonbrat78
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 9
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/27/2013 9:15:18 PM
The best answer by far. Thanks yule_liquor.
 aussieblues
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 10
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/27/2013 11:45:19 PM
Putting out too soon is criminal in a game of golf.
 *Dr_Hugnkiss*
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 11
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:46:19 AM
I personally am a "go with the flow" kinda guy. If I'm enjoying myself it's all good and I'll keep going...if I'm not I'll stop.

I'm most compatible with women who are similar I suppose. One whose is willing to listen to her own body and do what she feels is right/good. Letting yourself go and living in the moment is hugely attractive in my book.

My longest one night stand lasted 4 and a half years...maybe I'm just not "normal"...;o)
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 12
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:47:55 AM
I think it's better for a chick to spread like peanut butter as opposed to being some up tight worrisome woman who cares to much of what others think and puts sex on the back burner. I've known at least one woman who seemed rather into me, but was like this. It was a turn off! I want a woman who's sexually charged, strong, sponteaneous and independent enough to want sex and go after it. And at my age, I don't have the patience to wait around for women who are well into their adult years to realize their only getting older and should make the best of the opportunities they have.


+ 1! Yay for men with common sense.

And I find it just plain stupid that men aren't judged by the same sexual 'morality' and standards as women are in terms of relationship respectability,not to mention the fact that anyone still worries about the terms of being "too easy,loose,slutty,"ho's" etc or worse people who still judge a woman based on those terms.

I left High School in 1982 and with it,all the stigma's and childish mentalities that come with being a sexually liberated,assertive and empowered woman with my own desires and sexual goals!

If a man has the right to judge me on how "soon I put out" he's also got the right to keep his d*ck in his pants!
 Dolphinelover
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 13
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 5:57:53 AM
When I first met my now ex she put out on our first date,we was together for 11 years and I never disrespected her,in fact all though we are divorced now and have been a while we are still good friends. All cases are not the same though,I would haft to say it just depends.
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 14
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 12:22:20 PM
I personally am a "go with the flow" kinda guy.

That's my least favorite tag line of all. I view it as a slacker 101 tagline. People I've known who use that catch phrase "go with the flow" have often been lazy minded individuals who had a tendency to follow the crowd and waited for things to happen rather than try and make things happen. However, I'm not saying that it doesn't pay to sometimes be patient and give certain others the benefit of the doubt.

Hearton64

Your so cool! If only many more were as knowledgable and open minded as you. Kudo's to you!!!
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 15
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 12:35:05 PM
I have my moments of "closed-mindedness" and would rather not add to my number for casual sex's sake,but I know my sexual rights and 'putting out too soon' just seems like a judgement call no one can make for someone else.

Who has any right to look down on anyone for thier sexual choices?

To each thier own.But for the very men who have sex with women "too soon" where do they get off judging them for any reason,let alone feel that they have "lost respect" for them and throw them into the non-relationship material pile for something they just engaged in with said woman....is pure lunacy.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 16
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 1:04:56 PM
Umm... Fastest ever for me was 1st meet to bed in ten minutes and I stayed with her for many years.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 17
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 1:04:59 PM

I would like to know if you can ever really respect a woman that puts out right away?

To answer your question directly.. of course.

I don't know what is meant by "right away" but quite frankly, if we aren't doing the horizontal mambo by the third or fourth date, I can pretty much guarantee I would lose interest. Life's too short for women who believe sex is some sort of relationship gauge or tool and I want to know early on if there is some huge sexual compatibility issues. There hasn't been a single woman in my life who professed she "was worth the wait" who actually was.
 *Dr_Hugnkiss*
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 18
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 1:34:29 PM
I would suggest too early is on the bus on the way to the "date"

@salty would your tagline be "tantum scio quod vidi" then? I'd trans;ate it for you ...but frankly can't be bothered ;o)
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 19
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:00:10 PM
putting out too soon involves 2 willing people, not just 1. I wouldn't judge anyone for putting out too soon. Events don't define you, what you do afterwards, does.
 434handyman
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 20
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:01:31 PM
I do not get the respect thing. never have. If two people meet and hit it off and want to have sex why not? When you are together you are having a good time satisfying each other's primal instincts. Respect is when I call the next day and thank her for a great evening. Respect is walking her to her car and kissing her goodnite afterwards. But as far as putting out too soon I say screw that! Do what you feel like doing and screw what anyone else thinks.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 21
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:07:08 PM
Sex isn't (or shouldn't be) something you allow or give away. It should be something you both choose to do because in both of your judgment it's the right thing for the two of you to do right then.

Do what feels right to you. If a man will think less of you for being true to yourself he's not the man you were looking for anyway.
 munko69
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 22
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:18:45 PM
depends if you want another date. i won't lose any respect for you, i am just a busy man. i don't want to waste a second date/ money if i might not get some love. i don't mean to be harsh, but that is how it is. usually. not always though. if there is an instant connection it may signal to me that she is worth a second date.
 NOCLOWNING
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 23
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 3:07:18 PM
If a man disrespects you for putting out "Too soon", wouldnt he have to disrespect himself?
It takes two.
See some men wont wait, and some say, if you put out too soon, your a whore. WTF, What does that make the man?
 bofast
Joined: 1/12/2013
Msg: 24
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 3:17:03 PM

Ok, I guess I am looking for feedback from the fellas on this one. I would like to know if you can ever really respect a woman that puts out right away? Will you think she is easy and lose interest or can she still be"girlfriend material"?


I would not lose respect for a woman putting out too soon. Never.

I might lose respect for her if she puts a mouse up her nose.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 25
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 3:19:13 PM
I dont care whether they respect me...Its about respecting myself.
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