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 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 1
How do you get a womans attention in the real worldPage 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I have not had much luck on the Dating online thing.
So i am starting to think i might try my luck in the real world , It's not like i have got anything to loose right??

Any suggestions were to start??
Take in consideration you are dealing with someone who is unsure of himself at the best of times...
So its better to learn how to walk then hopefully to run..
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 3:52:55 AM
I think, when people head out with the intention of finding a mate, that they are so focused on that task rather than just enjoying themselves, that their real personality doesn't come through. It's like heading into the Mall begin focused on that perfect gift for a friends, and not seeing all the other things along the way.

As you consider yourself unsure, why not place yourself in situations which you have more confidence or interests rather than jumping into the deep end of social events.

The age old suggestion of joining groups or taking a course which interests you, is viewed as successful for a reason. It exposes you to a group of new people, where the focus isn't on finding a mate, where the subject matter engages you which increases your enjoyment of the activity and where your interest in it, gives you some common ground with the participants. All of this provides a reason to begin a conversation with those around you.

As a side bonus, this type of interaction does hone the social skills and provides you with a larger social circle.

I would say, stop actively looking for someone. The chances of you interacting with your potential mate are just that, sheer chance. Rather than focus on finding a mate, focus on enjoying your life, expanding on your interests, and just remain open to the right person should they happen along. I imagine it's a whack of pressure on yourself to be on a constant Quest. Why do that to yourself when there is the possibility of constant failure as this isn't something which is fully in your control.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 3
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How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 3:55:18 AM
Be yourself, so you attract the RIGHT woman for you. That is the real secret as its not about
getting attention its about getting the attention of the right person.

If your unsure of yourself yu should maybe not date and find yourself, there is nothing more
unattractive than someone who is lost/ has no confidenece, does not know who they are or what they seek...
all you will do is waste your time and everyone elses. Two halves do not make a whole, it makes a disaster.
so yes you have lots to lose if you are dating for the wrong reasons... your time, your energy, your sanity, your money and maybe even your health and safety.
 TAWT
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 4
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 3:55:55 AM
Any suggestions were to start??

Try going back and reading one of the 38 threads you've already started on exactly the same topic.
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 5
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 4:02:09 AM
Yes thanks for your Answer
I am in 2 thoughts sometimes at first its like well if i don't get off my arse and start looking nothing will happen but at the same time maybe its just added pressure.
I might have to find sme social group or something but i am not really a sporty type of person.

The people i play with in my band are all married, Really they have there own problems i don't think there to concerened about finding someone for me ,,although i did bring it up just before Christmas hehe.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 6
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 4:02:34 AM
^^ Totally agree with Tawt!

Op,your entire Posting History is nothing but these woe-is-me, Attention Seeking Threads all worded differently but saying the same 'ole.

For the love of God,STOP posting this pitiful crap
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 7
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 5:03:54 AM
Cheers buddy its hard to know what to do at times..

Money sure would help hehe!!!!
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 8
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 6:11:23 AM
Be a man
Improve your conversational skills, get used to striking up conversation that isnt attached, improve skills

Women work on chance and luck.. they hope the right one meets THEM.

You are searching for a particular person, but you have to be sure about what you want, and that takes learning some more about yourself dude.
 auntyemm
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 9
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 6:27:11 AM
Run after them with a chain saw
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 10
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History
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 6:36:26 AM
Need extra cheese for all the whine here.
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 11
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 6:43:16 AM
It's literally as simple as the word "hi".

Once you see how willing women are offline to talk some random person that says hi to them, then you'll understand why so many of us say never to rely on these sites as a place to get dates.
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 12
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 6:47:58 AM


It's not like i have got anything to loose right??

That's just it. There's nothing to lose. Offline dating is actually easier in some regards because when you first meet person things start all over again from scratch and that's when you figure out her true interest. The only disadvantage is that you don't have a profile on her BEFORE you start a conversation.




Take in consideration you are dealing with someone who is unsure of himself at the best of times...


People can smell fear and insecurity from a mile away. Confidence will help you out a lot.
When approaching these women there is nothing to be afraid of. All men face rejection. Just move onto the next one. People around you will applaud you for having the guts to do what they did not.

To build up confidence try practicing in public places:

1) ask for the time from 5 different women everyday for a week. You'll be surprised by the conversations you'd have
It'll build your icebreaking skills.

2) The following week step it up and start conversations around small talk and stuff around you (5 women, everyday, one week). It could be the weather, how slow the bus is moving or something (these are the best ice breakers for a pick-up..not that angel that fell out of heaven stuff..)..1-2 minutes tops..

3) Start up small talk again... only this time make it five minutes per convo ..and finish with..."what's your number?'
All that stuff about complimenting looks, telling her you like her and want to date her, and stuff DOES..NOT..WORK..

The best way to show interest is to ask for her number..and simply ask her out via telephone.. you don't even have to put yourself through the pressure of thinking of creative compliments and crap....when you're on the date..you'll know if she likes you or not through her ACTIONS (not words)..guys depend on too much verbiage when most women do not..

Good luck
 auntyemm
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 13
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 6:48:22 AM
@ coolddog65.Is there enough cheese out there for him
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 14
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 7:13:57 AM

3) Start up small talk again... only this time make it five minutes per convo ..and finish with..."what's your number?'
All that stuff about complimenting looks, telling her you like her and want to date her, and stuff DOES..NOT..WORK..


No.... You're clearly new at this too.

Ending on"What's your number?" is a great way to get numbers of her exes and stuff like that. You have to lead into it with a reason to need her phone nuber. Ask her if you two can talk more later or something like that. Otherwise, you come off as really creepy.

It might come as a surprise to you, but there's a certain finesse involved in dating.

Actions are only half of the story. If she's smiling the whole time, laughing at what you say, but contributing nothing to the conversation, she's not exactly interested. A woman who is interested in you is going to communicate. A lot of times, they'll come right out and say that they want to do it again. Don't just focus on the actions, you have to listen to her too, because she IS going to be saying things that matter.

And in today's world, asking for a number isn't always seen as a guaranteed sign of interest. The best way to show interest isn't asking for a phone number, it's asking about her, not talking about how crappy her boss is.

You gotta slow down, don't rush to asking for a phone number, because more times than not, it's going to look either desperate or creepy. Ask for the phone number when there's a reason to have her phone number.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 15
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 7:31:23 AM
Try the singles events sponsored on here. You'll be in a room full of like minded people to start & that in itself is a conversation starter.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 16
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How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 8:04:34 AM
It bores down to having enough courage to start a conversation with her. In much of the PUA community, it is suggested that you find conversation starters that don't give off a vibe of "I'm looking for a girlfriend, and that's why I'm talking to you right now." Being a regular guy, you have to do things that set you apart from the other regular guys. Just saying things like, "hi, my name is...I'd like to get to know you better" will get you shut down more than it will be successful. Women have heard that tired song and dance entirely too many times. Some examples that I've seen include:

"I like salad, but I don't like croutons. Does that seem odd to you?"
"Do you floss before or after you brush?"
"I need a female's opinion. My friend has some old pictures of his ex. They're nothing dirty, but he has them as keepsakes. What do you think about his girlfriend wanting him to throw them away?"

You have to have be prepared to take conversations in some kind of a direction though. You can only talk about salad or dental hygiene so long before the conversation fizzles out and you lose her interest. Sometimes it flows naturally, but if it doesn't you need to have some kind of a game plan. Either that, or you just drop it and move on to the next girl.

There's your crash course on "openers." Heh
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 17
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 11:40:46 AM
What is your question here, OP?

Are you asking how to approach women? or are you wanting to know where to go and what to do in order to encounter women to approach? Two different questions.

Joining special interest groups may or may not be helpful, depending on the demographics of your community.
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 18
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 12:14:57 PM
set yourself on fire, that tends to get you noticed.
 theodoness
Joined: 1/31/2012
Msg: 19
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History
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 1:12:47 PM
And the bottom line I think is the best is, to just be yourself. It is so much better than being someone your not. Then is there is a spark, it will be your spark that comes out of your heart and not the person you wish you were. Then you would not be hiding anything, and the spark would be a real spark you both can share.
 Wastrel
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 20
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 4:07:12 PM
I never did get the bad kind of nervous over dates, but when I had to sing for an audience, my knees were knockin'!
so
I'm curious about how a shy, insecure person manages to perform publicly in a band.

Do you get stage fright but plunge in and do it anyway?
Did you get stage fright in the beginning but gradually get used to it with repeated performances?

There might be some things in common between dating and performing, as far as getting both good at it (practice) and comfortable with it (practice).
 CheeseBreath
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 21
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 5:40:21 PM
What REALLY works is being a hot stud like myself.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 22
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 5:45:36 PM
A) Workout (for looks/attraction)

B) Get a job. get a sales job, part-time, full-time, whatever, in a retail store that caters to women... something you don't like but women do like... such as cloths or shoes, whatever... you have to talk to women and get paid for it. Terrific practice and on the job training. Do you smell what I'm cooking?!

C) Get a prop - get a cute little dog, or a T-shirt with a funny saying on it (ask some girls to help you pick one out - you might get a date right there!) and hang out where the women are, such as a mall or the beach. When you get good at it, you'll find them hitting on you! The prop is a terrific ice breaker, it begs them to come to you and ask questions. Asking questions is a great way to start conversations. But the best way of all is to get THEM TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS. Go get 'em cowboy!

Edit: Also, classes, clubs, churches, any social event that meets regularly with the same people is a great way to meet. Again best results might be with something you might not like, but women love, so there is a high ratio of women. So, good luck in your cooking class, Martha Stewart! Remember how many crushes you had in school? Do you smell the coffee date?!
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 23
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 5:56:26 PM
I work in a warehouse driving forklifts picking ,packing orders all day. Some of the girls in the main office are nice and not bad looking but they are all taken married or boyfriends.

I have a Car, a Full time job, Property Investment which is doing very well ect...
But not a millionaire by any stretch of the imagination.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 24
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 6:05:04 PM
I looked in your profile... you play in bands? Do you know how often girls fall for band members?! If you can play some gigs part time at night, or on your days off... and keep your eye out for groupies, or women that might gravitate to you between breaks or after your show? - You might be in a terrific position to meet some ladies. You just may not have thought about it that way before? Listen... these women get to stare at you for long periods of time, and because you can't talk to them, you can't say the wrong thing! Funny but true! Think about it... you may have an untapped goldmine at your feet! Women love musicians! Work it young man!
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 25
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 1/28/2013 6:14:14 PM
Walk up to random woman and say Aren't you glad the world didn't end last year?
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