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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 2
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Why would you want to date someone in the first place, who hasn't taken the time to fill out their profile? If you're not more selective about the process of vetting your dates, you really have no room to complain.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 4
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/3/2013 7:04:11 PM
poor taste in men is a common issue! haha
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 9
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/3/2013 7:31:39 PM
sometime it is difficult to describe oneself .and some people can write page after page about themselves . we just cant judge someone from what we see in their profile.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 10
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/3/2013 7:31:48 PM

That was a question not a complaint.

A complaint looks more like this: Why do the flaky guys who have no intention of calling when they say they'll call or tell me they want to see me again then do nothing or go out on a second date only to disappear write very little in their profile?

See the difference. I think your internal filters need to be re-tuned. Negative posters need not reply.


My filters are working just fine, thank you. I am not the one on here starting threads about the men I'm dating turning out to be flakes---and then asking others if they have the same issue. In my case, by using simple common sense, I met a great guy.
 aussieblues
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 11
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Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/3/2013 7:34:45 PM
Try the cereal isle of the supermarket..Frosty Flakes..Corn Flakes, Wheat Flakes...
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 12
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/3/2013 7:55:48 PM
OP youre not fishing with the wrong bait. but sounds like you keep reeling in guppys and instead of throwing them back you try to make a whole meal out of em! and you said most of the guys not ALL of them. You say they have very little on profiles but you give them a chance anyway when they not even showing much effort
They must be so good looking Fish i guess. I'm sure you attract more than just flakes yet thats who you give the time of day to.
Good luck to you Miss
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 16
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/3/2013 8:14:37 PM
OP, when you say you have "chatted", do you mean on the phone?? If so, did you ask important questions and also listen?? The length of a profile shouldn't have anything to do with a person a lot of times. I change profiles a lot and sometimes I can write a novel but I don't do it thinking I need to, I just do. But also, I can get more infor from a person by phone conversation. If you go out on a meet and don't talk on phone, I would look at that as your biggest problem, not the length of a profile.
 Aww-Ree
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 18
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/3/2013 8:46:00 PM
I disagree with your stance Helen. You say a profile is a measurement of how articulate a person is...to the degree to which they fill it out, yes-then you can certainly form an opinion on what is written, I don't believe that holds true for what isn't there.

I have a minimalist profile. My textual articulation gets my point across here in the forums just fine. Additionally, I'm no flake unless I've caught a fair bit of sun and I begin to peel. You know that old saying, "Don't just a book by it's cover." Well, I would offer up a profile is nothing more than a cover. Some a little more flashy than others. As with a book, if you want to get to know a person you spend time reading them. If the OP's dates turn out to be flakes perhaps she didn't spend quality as well as quantity time at the onset getting to know them before agreeing to meet them. Additionally, as Pinky states, the phone is another fine tool to use in the interviewing process. Chances are if a guys a bit of a flake some well thought out fact finding questions will bring that out or a hint of it anyway prior to sitting across from them face to face and planning your escape.
 Rima619
Joined: 4/4/2010
Msg: 21
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Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/3/2013 10:39:13 PM
I think it takes time and energy to create a meaningful relationship. Maybe keep in touch with people as a friend. You never know what may evolve towards the future. Wish you luck. I think I have a better chance to love someone that I can trust. So, to look hard for something right off the bat may be something really hard to find.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 26
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/4/2013 7:16:15 AM
In regards to your question, it's not that I'm attracted to them so much as I chat with everyone. The ones I give my number to or end up going on a date with are the ones that usually end up 'telling me what I want to hear' as the other posters have said.

I suppose I should encourage those who don't ask for my number as easily to come out of their shell. I know there are 'good men' out there they just don't have the shark mentality that the flaky types do I suppose.


OP, I hate to be the one to point out the obvious, since you already think I was picking on you, but the "good men" out there have other options. The reality is that you have some things in your profile that are working against you in attracting these men.

One major issue is that you are not yet divorced. Because your dating pool will be smaller, there will be more "flakes" in it---the leftovers that other women don't want.

This means that you will need to be more aggressive about initiating contact with the men that interest you---and you will need to become more discerning about the men you chat with.

It stands to reason that men who don't put much effort into their profiles are probably not going to put much effort into finding a long term relationship, either. Those men that do take it seriously will put forth more effort into having an appealing profile, in order to attract the quality women they want. Those are the men you should focus on.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 27
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/4/2013 8:27:25 AM

I've noticed that most of the guys I've chatted with and a few I've been on dates with who have written very little in their profiles turn out to be flakes.


I agree. The same applies to women. I even mention that in my own profile. This is the case as well with a lot of very attractive women. These type of women are usually the ones that want the man to make them laugh, cator to their every whim and prove themselves to her like the little princess she thinks she is.

They are also extremely boring.
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 30
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/4/2013 2:51:29 PM
OP, here's the scoop. Anyone whose profile is short and lacking of depth or insight or humor or creativity shows a person not willing to make an investment to create a quality profile. This is your first impression of them. It seems you don't know value or lack thereof when you see it. Perhaps, you're young and naive, not sure, I haven't read your profile. Check mine out. Some people read mine and are clueless. Anyone with half a brain will realize that it took lots of work to create my profile and it's bait for someone that can match my wit and intelligence. Most women find it funny but can't reciprocate when it comes to email exchanges. So my profile sets the bar. They either rise to the level I seek or they don't so why would I even bother to meet those that don't. I DON'T meet those. It seems you do, that's your problem. Sounds like you like the attention or you're using these poor guys for freebies. That's sad. Hopefully, you will learn how to date and find the guy you want and stop wasting people's time or worse shouting to the world, including those you've met here on POF, that they were losers (real classy of you, NOT). Good luck and happy fishin'...!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 33
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/4/2013 4:26:24 PM
A couple things. One, is your "joined" date. Have you only been here since the 27th of last month????? And if you have, how many freaking dates have ya been on to make you start this thread??????

I think YOU have to figure out WHY YOU find those guys interesting in the first place. Those guys that have little to nothing written in their profiles. Was it the pics???? Is it because you lonely???? Or what????? Only you can answer that question.

I skim right by profiles with little or nothing in them. Why???? Cause there is nothing there. Even if the woman has a couple of pics of her nice little bum, or other bits and pieces. Pics are pics, and looks are looks, but I need to know there is at least a little bit of substance, and the usually the only way to see that "quickly" is by what they have or haven't written in their profile. Bambis are for eating,not dating.

So,no. This scenario isn't a "common" issue for me.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 34
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Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/4/2013 4:30:57 PM
I skipped them, because there was nothing there to make me interested in them. Plus, if they are too lazy to fill out their profiles, I already know they're not my type.
 stephen bazarian
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 39
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Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/4/2013 6:09:59 PM
most of the women I have talked to , can not spell, or write a decent sentence.
 Mulan73
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 41
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/4/2013 7:43:54 PM

One major issue is that you are not yet divorced. Because your dating pool will be smaller, there will be more "flakes" in it---the leftovers that other women don't want.


Did you get divorced within the past 3 days? As in today since it was the weekend? Or did you just change that because someone brought it to your attention?

Anyhow- I personally, if they don't have much on their profile or it goes on and on and on... just pass on it. Like someone else said.. if they can't take the time to write a couple paragraphs about themself.. or at least one decent one.. then naw..
And someone else made a valid point, to do some phone conversations first.
Can you not kinda feel if the person is a flake off the bat?
 Acehonestlady
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 45
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Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:13:28 AM
Not sure so much about those types being flakes but they do tend to show less intelligence and or confidence on meeting.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 46
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:21:28 AM
It's not me it's the them syndrome. Your theory of them all being flakes doesn't sound too Kosher if their commonality was you.
 DevotedExplorer
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 52
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Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/5/2013 4:05:50 PM
I must admit not many women have well written and profiles of substance in my age group. I understand the arrangement of online dating so I have a detailed profile of a good length as I know that's the selling point along with the pictures. Since making alterations my current length and profile details now attracts many first contacts from women and many women from various countries also contact me. Stay clear of profiles short in length with no substance as do I when I look at a womans profile i Just think they are not serious or simple relying on their looks to get them dates. I also avoid profile with negativity such as no cheats or profiles with laundry lists.
 Rutlandlover77
Joined: 5/13/2012
Msg: 53
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/5/2013 4:31:57 PM
Any idea how many girls are the same way, "oh yeah that would be fun,"sounds like an idea! Oh six or so messaged later they vanish....don't make an effort if you can't make an effort.
 Rutlandlover77
Joined: 5/13/2012
Msg: 63
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/6/2013 4:58:06 PM
No shit! Had a few good connections and interest, like I said if a chick isn't feelin a guy online don't waste everyones time by pretending! If I get messaged and Im not interested its a quick polite see ya later.
 AvailableinIndy
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 73
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/22/2013 2:38:51 PM
Or put on there.....just ask me...love those too.
 LucidTheory
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 74
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/22/2013 2:53:46 PM
A neutral medium is that those with next to nothing on their profiles shouldn't contact those who write novels on their profiles. Why would someone who gave a mountain of information want to correspond with someone who gave nearly nothing to go on.

If you aren't sure what to write, then you correspond with people who are more of a mystery just like you. Like someone said, it's a measure to judge how articulate you are among other things and to find out if you got something in common.
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 75
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Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/22/2013 3:49:02 PM
Well, here on pof a mainly free dating site, you have thress types of users:

1) The ones that don't take it serious, there just here! No picture, or lame ones at that. No write up or a short one at best, that could have spelling errors galore and grade school grammar.
2) The ones that take it too serious, and go overboard talking about themselves practically writing an auto biography. Often having a long list of conditions they expect to be met by all the hopefuls, at the bottoms of their profiles.
3) Then you have the ones more like me and the op, who just take it serious enough and keep it realistic. We make an effort are creative in our profiles. We try and keep it somewhat brief and have respectable pictures and little or no spelling errors with good grammar.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 77
Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?
Posted: 2/22/2013 8:38:47 PM
Maybe they're vetted for safety sake via email, IM & phone & went the old fashioned route of getting to know while dating, instead of relying on an online resume that most fudge to begin with.

Sounds really silly that if things don't work out, which they don't 99.99% of the time whether they be on or off line, they somehow brought it on themselves by talking with those who have an incomplete profiles & shouldn't gripe.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Anyone else found this to be a common issue...?