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 endsdawn
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 1
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Explaining High Sex Drive?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Alright folks, I've got a question for you all. I don't have a huge amount of experience with dating and relationships and am hoping you can help.

I'll get right to the point: I have an very high sex drive 90% of the time. Given the chance, I'd have sex two or three times a day. For a variety of reasons, sex is important to me in a relationship...

Now, if you were in my shoes, how would you try to explain this to your significant other? How long would you wait? I don't want women to think I'm creepy, bringing the topic up too early in dating or in a relationship. But I also want to avoid what happened last time though, where it turned out that my girlfriend didn't have nearly as high a sex drive as I do and eventually came to believe I was just using her for sex, which wasn't the case at all!

I'm actually pretty frustrated about this as I've gone from no dates, to having more than a couple lined up this last week. I don't know what to do and, having dates for the first time in years, I don't want to mess it up!

Thanks folks.
 CaptainTeebs
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 2
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/6/2013 4:58:00 PM
Put in your profile that you are "high energy". Let 'em find out why...
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 3
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/6/2013 5:07:23 PM
Op,if you dont have a huge amount of experience in dating,as you've stated and
I don't want women to think I'm creepy, bringing the topic up too early in dating or in a relationship
there's your *clue* to NOT talk about it too soon - major turnoff to most girls!

Im not saying you have to wait months and months but try and enjoy getting to know someone til you're comfortable enough to bring up the subject at an appropriate time.
Good luck.
 hotmerlot
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 4
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/6/2013 6:33:28 PM
If your horny 90% of the time, then you are not much use to most women.
 endsdawn
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 5
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/6/2013 6:36:55 PM
Wow, I don't know who just flagged my topic as a troll post, but you need to chill out. I'm just asking for advice here. If you can't be mature about replying, then just skip over my topic.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 6
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/6/2013 7:21:10 PM
I know what you are saying man,lol...

Look, the best way is to just to come across, and bring it up...

Say in convo. she says something to the effect, why are you single or something...You blah , blah, blah, and I have not been able to find a partner that is equal to my sex drive, blah blah blah, in the past I have notice when our drives are not close to the same, the relationship tends to fail...

Now, of course every women you say this to, is going to relate to this and say they have equally as high sex drives,lol...
In my experiences , there are woman like 15% with sex drives like men, 42.5% , with average ones, and 42.5% with next to non...You need to find those 15% ...
To spot them, you will be able to talk about sex drive, without feeling creepy, or she will not think you are creepy, the ones that think it is creepyare the ones you will not want anyways,lol..
They will openly talk about sex, like the weather, and it is not a big deal or taboo...
The 15% will be like you but female, so you will notice them, lol...
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 7
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/6/2013 7:39:03 PM
You want something so bad. You ain't going to get it. Why? Because they can see it a mile away. And while you think you are not using them for sex. YOU ARE.

So chill. Pull back. Learn technique. Make them want you. There are things that you can do... But that is men's conversation. The women here would have a field day. Wolf, wolf.

Men are dogs. Pigs too. It's true.

Be proud when you bark.
 endsdawn
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 8
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/6/2013 8:25:22 PM
Thanks folks. You all have shown me some different view points and at given me some to think about.

I've edited this post since someone said it made me appear like a douche, though I don't know how. What I was trying to say is that it's not as if I'm trying to bring up sex on the first date or anything. I do tend to wait awhile, to when I *think* it's appropriate, though I'm not too sure on that.
I'd be the first to admit I don't have much experience in dating or relationships.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 9
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/6/2013 8:44:20 PM
I was going to be serious here, but that ^^^ post made you look like a total douche.
 endsdawn
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 10
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/6/2013 9:00:29 PM

I was going to be serious here, but that ^^^ post made you look like a total douche.


Sorry about that. I don't think I accurately conveyed what I was trying to say. I've reworded it and hope that helps and doesn't make me look like so much of a douche.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 11
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/6/2013 9:14:38 PM
Don't explain. You'll find people who are on the same wavelength. Its not something that's easy to look for.

Its not uncommon for women to be, umhh.. how to put this,. horndog monsters. Some can't get by 4 hours at work without getting up to something. Rabbits are lame. Women can be five thousand watt crazzed. They don't adverstise this.
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 12
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/7/2013 2:30:45 PM
2-3 times a day is not high at all. That's amateur hour. When you get to 9-10+ per day, then post the question. Then those of us with high sex drive experience can help.
 rob4320
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 13
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/7/2013 5:08:07 PM
Dude, My sex drive is the same as yours and im 54.
No girlfriend has ever complained as long as your pleasing them too.
But if you want to lower your sex drive their are ways but I would need to ask you some personal questions.
 2hotcougar
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 14
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/8/2013 11:20:03 AM
you have a normal sex drive for your age so no worrys mate the only thing that wood worry me is can you control your urges and not hump every leg that came your way
 spilling_fire
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 15
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/8/2013 11:34:03 AM

Sorry about that. I don't think I accurately conveyed what I was trying to say. I've reworded it and hope that helps and doesn't make me look like so much of a douche.



I think you accurately conveyed your point to a T. The last two men I've dated seemed to have a drastically lower sex drive than me. And while most everything else about our relationships worked, I wanted more intimacy...more kissing, groping, nibbling, stolen kisses, sex, making out when the mood hit us (even if we did have to duck into a closet during a wedding).

You can't force someone to be more passionate and what you were asking, from what I gathered, was how do you avoid finding yourself involved with someone that isn't sexually compatible with you. It's tricky. For a while, I had "enjoys a very healthy sex life when in a relationship" on my profile and that pulled in all the wrong types. I deleted that, of course. So now I try to bring it up after we've emailed a bit or during the first phone call. It's probably tougher for a man to bring it up than a woman (because women assume you're being pervy), but maybe preface your statement with "if this topic makes you uncomfortable, we can drop it instantly" and then follow it up with something like "but I am a passionate man and if I'm in a relationship with a woman, I want to make love to her all the time. I want to pleasure her in all the ways she deserves. And I want us to have a crazy level of passion for one another because I think that is an important part of a happy relationship. How do you feel about it?"
 SSBaker13
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 16
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/9/2013 6:16:10 AM
There's a funny saying that always cracks me up, even though I don't find it true...it's still kinda funny:

"A nyphomaniac is just a woman with the same sex drive as a man."

That being said, I think in a relationship situation you need to also learn to "communicate." When you're on the same page as your other half, understand each other, are totally honest with each other : both partners will enjoy every aspect of the relationship...especially the sex.

Granted, what you see as a "high sex drive" is really rather normal for a guy your age. Women tend to sexually peak a bit later than men so women your age haven't really built up a drive that equals yours, yet.
 milehiguy12
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 17
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/13/2013 3:16:04 PM
I think it is a huge compatibility issue. Early in a relationship when things are hot and heavy neither person can get enough of the other. Flash forward 6 months and one of you is topped out and the other one is horny all the time. I've encountered this issue several times and it was at the root for every failed relationship. I kept feeling rejected and she thought I was addicted to sex. My advice is to be honest from the beginning so there are no surprises later on.
 dartmouthjames
Joined: 12/15/2012
Msg: 18
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/13/2013 4:42:15 PM
Zamboni_Operator, msg 5:
OP, you might want to consider surgery or medication to lower your sex drive, so that you're compatible with the women out there. Otherwise you're going to face a life of frustration & lonliness. Sex isn't everything. And everyone has to make compromises in relationship. Your compromise will have to be sex. Maybe in return for that, your partner will overlook your premature balding & peach fuzz "beard".

This is the worst advice I've ever seen on these forums, and quite possibly on the internet. Shame on you Zamboni_Operator.
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 19
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 1/11/2019 3:30:51 AM
IF it's an issue then talk to your date about your expectations....it's the only way to be...honest
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 20
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 1/14/2019 9:35:31 AM
No need to bring it up right away. If you hit it off with someone and the topic comes up, then go ahead and mention it.
It might also help to take up something like boxing to let out that extra energy.

If the woman you are with never seems to be on the same page as you in that aspect, then you arent compatible. Dont try to force it. Move on and find someone compatible.
 gavs321
Joined: 1/15/2019
Msg: 21
Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 1/22/2019 10:29:38 AM
it sucks being a man sometimes, men have testosterone and that comes with an increased libido.

I wish my sex drive was lower if anything, it makes you make bad decisions or sleep with women out to satisfy your sexual urges.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 22
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 1/23/2019 4:23:08 AM
Maybe in profile share something to the affect "if long term/real(whatever here-casual doesn't really work though JSYK) relationship is established i like three mutually satisfying meals a day? " no ?
if they don't get it no worries, if they do score
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 23
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 1/27/2019 1:19:32 PM
I don't know what it is. My libido increased as I got older. Now in my mid 30s I have a much higher sex drive than I did in my 20s. It is annoying considering I have no hope of ever being with anyone again. Seriously, what is the use of a sex drive if you can't use it? It is like nature is flipping me off every day.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 24
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/5/2019 9:23:06 AM
^^ at least A capable partner isn't in your bed ignoring you(and your sexuality) while "sexting" others for "emotional" (too funny) support! that is a **** you from a human lol- I tend to expect **** yous from nature lol...
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 25
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Explaining High Sex Drive?
Posted: 2/5/2019 4:21:01 PM
I wonder about the following:

1) How do you know your sex drive is any higher than any other 33 year old man? Have you compared notes in some way?

2) Have you ever had sex 2-3 times a day for 2-4 weeks, with the same woman? If you haven't done it, then it's all imagination on your part.

Unless you are living together, most people don't have time to see each other night after night for months.

I go with the flow and don't sweat details in advance, women who have a high sex drive can out sex men. Less effort on their part and they don't have to have an erection to perform., just a desire.

Once you have been in her bed a couple of times, it all becomes pretty obvious how well you two will mesh together. Why try to "prequalify" someone, it's not like you are signing a contract to be an indentured servant when you have sex.
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