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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > "No reply not interested?"      Home login  
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 OPeningdoors87
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 1
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"No reply not interested?"Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
You are having a good conversation then, it end's bedtime/whatever reason.
Then when you try to start the convo up again, they don't response even though they have read. This means they are not interested ?

Have you ever had someone suddenly start talking to you again, and not just because she had not been around for a while.

Your thoughts are appreciated
 OzzGirl22
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 2
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/7/2013 3:13:15 PM
I would think that if they are not replying to your inquiries then they are not interested.

The only time I have had guys message me after awhile was to basically see if I had changed my mind about sleeping with them (shrug).
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 3
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/7/2013 3:13:23 PM
things happen
innocent until proven guilty
online dating is crazy
hope that anwsers your questions
 minervyx
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 4
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/7/2013 3:14:25 PM
Never double message a woman. It's not necessary. If she wants to reply to you, she would have already.

Also, theres tons of guys online. If you don't sell your case quick, another guy will.
 OPeningdoors87
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 5
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No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/7/2013 3:31:25 PM
I get the feeling that may have been the case, I was 25mins slow to respond and no reply.
Shame we seemed to have a lot in common.
 jjoenyc73
Joined: 11/9/2012
Msg: 6
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/7/2013 3:41:46 PM
It always happens. COnversatins take days ,thats why get number fast. If i don'tget number I BLOCK them so I wouldn't know what comes out of their mouths next TBO.
 tooborednow
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 7
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/7/2013 5:03:12 PM

This means they are not interested ?

What are you talking about?
Email?
IM?
Text?


Then when you try to start the convo up again, they don't response even though they have read.

If it's email, some people need some time to respond.
Haven't you ever been in the situation where the emails just progressively get longer and longer and longer?
One person sends you a question, you answer it and add your own question, then they talk about your response, then answer your question, then add their own, then you talk about her response to your response, and then her answer to her question, then add another question, and it just adds up to a lot of different things.
Sometimes it takes time to draw it all together and type what you want to say.

Some people feel that it's okay to give it time, that they don't need to respond immediately.

If it's IM or text sometimes the window doesn't open or they just don't get it.
Or they get an IM/text from you, and some one else, or a 3rd, 4th, 25th person and you just get lost in the shuffle.

Sometimes people just don't feel like talking.
Like if they have diarrhea. They are stuck at home sitting in their chair messing around online waiting for that cramp to indicate if they have to get up and go to the bathroom.
Or cramps.
Or just mood.
The thing about the internet is it's not an intimate place, it's not really a social place where they have to put on a social facade even though their internal mood is different.

Maybe they don't want to interact with anyone, they just want to sit there, read their stuff, and be left alone.
If they get an email or IM then they know if they respond "sorry, can't/don't want to talk right now" they might look "rude" and start getting even more messages "what'd I do wrong? Are you okay? Is it something I said? Are you still interested?" Meanwhile they were trying to be left alone and they just don't want to deal with it.

If they say "sorry, can't talk right now, I have diarrhea," then they have to deal with more messages like "you okay? You need anything? You need anything, let me know. Hope you feel better. Let me know when you feel better. Sure you don't need anything? I can't wait to tell you about this thing that happened. Oh, sorry you feel that way, here is a remedy. Okay, I'll leave you alone :(...are you absolutely sure I can't get you anything? How long have you been feeling like that? You go see a doctor?"
Ignoring someone is easier than telling them no and hoping they accept the no.
Forgiveness is easier than permission. They don't want to ask permission to be left alone. They just want to be left alone and hope you'll forgive them.

Or maybe their text/IM conversation with their best friend takes more immediate importance than me, whom they've never met at that point.

Or it could simply mean they aren't interested.


Have you ever had someone suddenly start talking to you again, and not just because she had not been around for a while.

I don't really know what time frame you are looking at.
Have I had someone wait an hour, a few hours, a day, or two before they could respond? Yes.
And they took up right where they left off? Yes.
Did I respond in kind? Yes.

Have they disappeared for a month and then tried to get back into contact? Yes.
As though no time has passed? Yes.
Did I accept it? No.
Have they disappeared and then 5 years later tried to get into contact? I don't know. I move a lot.
 DemonInside88
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 8
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/7/2013 11:24:35 PM
I have that same problem, I am sorry to say that most of the ladies seem shallow and really dont give a shit :/ my personal experiences have been kinda crappy lol.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 9
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 5:20:24 AM

I can now convince myself that they are sleeping, in the hospital, took a sudden vacation, etc.


I always assume they are out taking their nightly flight on their brooms visiting the people the people they need to. Gotta let the girls do their jobs.
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 10
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 7:18:42 AM
A lot of time the person you are messaging with is messaging with several other people too and you just don't know it. She may have found someone else that they she liked better. It happens.
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 11
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 7:53:30 AM

See...That is why I don't upgrade!
I have NO IDEA if and when they read my messages.
I can now convince myself that they are sleeping, in the hospital, took a sudden vacation, etc.
I can happily live in denial until the next person messages me.


I remember back when that was free, and if you ever decided to check, you'd just see an entire page of "unread deleted". Really did a great job of explaining why they never answered you, cuz they never even opened the email.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 12
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 1:12:18 PM
I remember back when that was free, and if you ever decided to check, you'd just see an entire page of "unread deleted". Really did a great job of explaining why they never answered you, cuz they never even opened the email.

I don't believe you have to do an "Upgrade" for it... in fact, a year or so ago when I noticed I couldn't see the status on sent messages, I only paid literally very little as a one-time thing and I can see them but I'm not upgraded.

I get the feeling that may have been the case, I was 25mins slow to respond and no reply.

Yeah, I think if the other's in the zone for rapid message banter, and you hit them up later, it ends that groove of talking and things come back to reality where you're just a virtual person... so you shouldn't expect them to reply too soon after that. But to not get a response? That means her interest in you was just in the moment and at the core of things, she wasn't interested. But yes, you could have still kept it going and upped your chances if you kept the flow going...

That's not to say it wouldn't have wilted away somewhat if you responded 5 minutes later instead of 25 minutes later. If she never wrote back due to a (gasp) 25 minute delay on an email -- she wasn't that interested. Don't sweat it. If you live & die by those little things when it comes to meeting a girl, then you're fighting an uphill battle -- which should be few and far between. You shouldn't have to battle for every little thing to make her strands of interest hold on JUST enough to "yeah-i-guess-so" meet you. It's like being upset that you took over a game where your team was down by 15pts in the 4th quarter and you didn't pull off the win, ya know?
 OPeningdoors87
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 13
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No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 2:21:42 PM
Email's every 10mins approximately, so 25mins was late but something came up.

Guess I was to slow, ironically was going to ask her on the very next reply to meet up, just one message short.
Sent a couple more messages days later no response, guess she found someone better. Guess I better cast my net out again a haul in a crab and some seaweed after 100 nets haha....
 OPeningdoors87
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 14
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No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 3:53:41 PM
robertr399

Trust me mate I know about rejection, I'm well aware that none of the ladies are " that into me".
Have to roll all the eggs in when I get 1 message a month. Need to make them count.
 MiaIris
Joined: 4/30/2010
Msg: 15
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 3:56:49 PM
I think communication does correlate with the strength and foundation of a relationship. Having said that though people do have lives and greater priorities like work or friends so I would allow some lee way.

If they don't respond to you within 25 minutes that's chump change compared to a week where they must have at least some time to breath, rest and respond if they care enough to

Does interest correlate with amount of responses? Personally-speaking, I'm not rude so I reply to people I'm not interested either. If someone initiates conversation with compliments or signals that might show some sort of interest.
 OPeningdoors87
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 16
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No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 4:05:12 PM
The last question she sent was actually enquiring into my life asking about work and so on. Alas my life seems to be eat, sleep, hospital, work. Very exciting stuff, been single so long now surely would have gotten somewhere by now.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 17
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 4:06:55 PM
Let me put it to you this way. Actions don't speak louder than words. Actions scream.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 18
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 4:13:41 PM
Maybe she's playing hard to get.
Keep messaging her - all upper case, of course.
 OPeningdoors87
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 19
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No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 4:15:05 PM
Good idea Deadliest, I will also mention that I know where she lives. While sending pics of me brandishing a knife, this must work!
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 20
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 4:17:33 PM
OMG! You know where she lives???

Just hide in the bushes outside her place and when she comes home, demand to know why she failed to answer your message.
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 21
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 6:27:36 PM


You are having a good conversation then, it end's bedtime/whatever reason.
Then when you try to start the convo up again, they don't response even though they have read. This means they are not interested ?


Things just became worn out. Think of the feeling of when someone runs up a steep hill for 45 minutes - you're tired.
So, yes, it means their interest declined. However, this could have been avoided if (after 4-5 messages) you would have just asked for her number to do your talking on your first meet.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 22
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/8/2013 6:35:58 PM
^^^ This.
So true....not sure why, but it happens for sure.
Make plans to meet in the flesh, cyber stuff can trickle down the stream like rain water.

No reply means no interest, yep.
Actually can't believe anyone really has to ask this...think it's more of 'hoping' it isn't so, rather than a real question.
 OPeningdoors87
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 23
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No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/9/2013 6:57:29 AM
In the past people have had people reply just very late, I was planning on asking her to meet after the next response it was about 4-5 messages.
Alas I fail at sealing the deal.
 rob4320
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 24
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/10/2013 8:51:50 AM
When they are not getting attention from someone else then they work their way back to you.
Which means they are not really into you.
 koshka7
Joined: 2/4/2013
Msg: 25
No reply not interested?
Posted: 2/10/2013 5:33:05 PM
Guys are not sending messages either. It is discouraging. And when I am trying to chat with them, they are suddenly not online anymore. What is that?
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