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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > feeling lost and empty      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 outdoorsguy2099
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 1
feeling lost and empty Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
so i met a girl on here didnt think anything was gonna come of it,but we fell in love.we dated 5 months doesnt seem long but i loved her and her kid to death.she told me she loved me to,everything was goin ok until we got into a fight after that,we kinda went silent,she dumped me 3 weeks ago.She told me she need her space but i messed up and kept texting her how much i loved her,she just told me other day to leave her alone,all i do is cry everyday at wrk and everynight,i cant stop thinking about her.Im 30 and she was my first true love of my life,i feel so lost and empty ,not sure what i can do....anyone know how i feel???
 MeggieMugster
Joined: 1/28/2013
Msg: 2
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/8/2013 3:11:44 PM
I know how you feel. we all do, but when someone wants space, and to be left alone, then give them that.
 forumitejunkie
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 3
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/8/2013 3:47:10 PM
As said above, we have ALL "been there" OP. Since you've already let her know you love her, and you want her back, and her response was to leave her alone....there is NOTHING else you can do.

From repeated experience with this type of situation, here is some advice: delete her number, and email info (I know, you can probably figure out a way to find it again if you really wanted to, but making it hard to find will prevent impulse messages.) Make sure you and she are no longer FB friends, or Twitter followers, or whatever other "social media" you might share, and do your very best to not "look her up" on or off line.

As you say she was the first "true love" of your life, it means you're new to this and might mot believe me when I tell you this, but it is TRUE: time's passage does make the pain go away, and the more you keep her "out of sight" the sooner she will be "out of mind."

Best Luck and take care....
 outdoorsguy2099
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 4
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/8/2013 3:59:02 PM
ya i deleted her off of everything, i know her number off by heart though and some days i just get a urge to text her but i know i cant,just so hard though,id do anything for her and her lil girl,but i do see what your saying,right now i just think about her non stop at work,as soon as i hear a love song she pops into my head,seems like theres so many triggers.I have never cried so much for so long since i lost her.
 forumitejunkie
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 5
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/8/2013 4:10:53 PM
Don't fight the sadness, OP....it's a NORMAL and NATURAL response to grief. I've learned that when I don't allow myself to go through the grieving process....it actually takes me longer to heal. On the other hand, don't deliberately wallow in the misery either....when the thoughts come, TRY to find a way to distract yourself, when a song pops up, change the channel....Yes, there will be many triggers, but as I said....in time, it WILL lessen.

I think once I went through this a couple of times, and learned that (that yes indeed the misery does eventually go away) it gave me great comfort, and made it easier to stay strong the next time.
 outdoorsguy2099
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 6
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/8/2013 4:55:59 PM
i just feel like im 30 now and it took me this long to find my first love,i may be lonely forever,im beyond devastated
 outdoorsguy2099
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 7
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/8/2013 8:36:44 PM
and one of the worst feelings is when i think about my ex being with another guy,messes me up and stomach goes into knots
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 8
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/8/2013 10:54:26 PM
yes I know how you feel.
its normal.
you have to go through it.

please resist texting her.

better to email her if you must tell her things.
 outdoorsguy2099
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 9
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/9/2013 10:53:01 AM
Ya I do have her on a pedestal.I think she's greatest girl I ever met.I love her Lil girl.Lil girl said she loved me to.I lost 2 ppl I love to death.
 toooldtoplay
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 10
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/9/2013 3:01:53 PM
Only in the movies do guys break up, feel like it's their fault, try to make up and succeed. I know it hurts but time heals everything. The next time you get serious about someone try not to get into a fight, it's just not worth losing someone you care about. Figure out what the fight was about and work on those principals in your next encounter.
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 11
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/9/2013 6:40:22 PM
Consider this a learning lesson.
Next time just give the person a simple
"Sorry I hurt you."
If this person OVERREACTS and isn't willing to work on relationship issues
and they break up with you as a result of the fight
by saying that they want space... then...
NO CONTACT.
No emails. No phone calls. No text messages.
No stopping at her work place. No reaching out to her friends.
No gifts. No begging.
Keep busy. Go to the movies. Play some video games.
Hang out with your friends. Go to a great hockey game! :)
Take a two-week vacation... somewhere fun like Las Vegas.
Live your life. Start dating again.

Keep this in mind... if you play it cool some people will come back to you.
If not... you'll probably find someone else equally as wonderful out there
and eventually you won't feel lost or lonely at all.
 outdoorsguy2099
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 12
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 10:04:16 AM
ya im trying my best,just some days are way harder then others,one day ill be ok then next ill be a wreck,just wish it wasnt so hard
 OzzGirl22
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 13
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 3:48:01 PM
As time goes on you will have more good days and less bad until one day they all will be good.
 outdoorsguy2099
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 14
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 3:50:43 PM
i hope it happens sooner then later,cause ive never been so hurt in my life,i know i prolly sound like a lil baby but its ripping me up inside.i dont usually get emotional either.
 Moscatored
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 15
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 6:01:10 PM
i know what you mean.... my ex did that to me, worst feeling in the world, thinking you aren't good enough, but then i think ya know if they can't see how awesome i am and how much i have to offer then they aren't good enough for me! and if they went to someone else then they through away a diamond for a rock!

if your ex can't get over it this issue think of what some other things she wouldn't be able to get over. i mean relationships aren't perfect and if that is what she is looking for then happy hunting for the rest of your life!

chin up dude! it will get better! give time time to heal you.... keep busy keep putting one foot in front of the other.
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 16
view profile
History
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 7:28:41 PM
If you feel that it took you this long to find the love of your life and now you're worried about the fact you may be alone for the rest of your life, etc... then you have to wonder is the loneliness and sadness really about her? Are those emotions laden in what she really brought to the table or is it what you just stated. Don't be afraid. I've been in love three times in my life. One turned into marriage, one almost turned into marriage after six years of dating and the other one is "the one that got away". Don't fret mon frer - there are plenty of fish in the sea. In the mean time, hang with your family, homeboys, etc.... and get your mind off her. The more time you have to think and obsess about her you will. When a girl asks you never to call her again - don't. It never works. If they miss you they'll text you after you go MIA and then tell you you're an ***hole for not even trying to contact her lol. #cantwin
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 17
view profile
History
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 7:29:24 PM
and btw - 30 is still young.....
 rainbows
Joined: 11/17/2012
Msg: 18
view profile
History
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 9:08:15 PM
I am so sorry for your loss and that you are hurting so badly. However, we can't make someone feel something they don't. It is best for you to move on. No need for you to settle for someone who doesn't see your worth. One day you will find someone who truly "gets" you! Most likely she is the one who truly lost. She probably had a great thing right in front of her and didn't realize it. You accepted her kid and loved her too... she most likely passed up a good thing.
 outdoorsguy2099
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 19
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 9:37:56 PM
ya i know i need to move,im also still hopeing she will eventually realize i a ma great guy who would do anything for her and her kid, prolly wishfull thinking,most of me thinks its over forever and i need ot move but theres still a lil piece of me that has hope that she will text saying she misses me and shes sry,
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 20
view profile
History
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 10:09:23 PM
Don't hold your breath. Hope for the best expect the worst (in most cases reality).
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 21
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/11/2013 6:50:15 AM
she will eventually realize i a ma great guy who would do anything for her and her kid


That's not really a healthy way to think.
The truth is that you ARE a great guy who would do anything for her. She probably already realizes this. HOWEVER... just because you are a great guy doesn't mean that she will want to be with you or you will be the ONE for her. And... the reason why she doesn't want to be with you probably isn't because you are a great guy.

Honestly... it is possible that she just used the fight as an excuse to end things.
And... it might not even be the real reason why she ended things especially if the fight was over nothing.
Sometimes two people don't click because of chemistry. It may be as simple as the way that you kiss or the way that you hold her. She might not like the way you talk or the way you laugh. WHO KNOWS?
She may have stayed with you as long as she did because you are a great guy and you treated her well. With a lot of people if the connection isn't right... doesn't feel right... they won't even go on a second date.
ALSO... there are a HUNDRED other very superficial reasons why a man or a woman won't continue a relationship. Some of these reasons will be because of you. Some of these reasons will be because of her.

Couples who truly love each other usually try to work things out... even if the fight was over something quite serious.
 Seraphial1
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 22
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/11/2013 7:09:46 AM
I so get this, makes so much sense to me now. I really feel this guy, I have been 3 months and counting since my ex fiance did the same thing to me. We tried to reconcile, but the magic was gone, the sex was terrible. I treated her like a princess, racked up a substantial credit card debt and spent the money I had saved from a practice I once owned. Really, at the end of the day she was right, it was not about having the lifestyle anymore or the lack of regular work, but the chemistry. Once it gets hard, well, it is hard to bring back ... Saying that I had sex with an ex once 3 months after we broke up, it was great, but our trust issues we had with each other still remained ...
I have been making the same mistakes, following her on social media, but it has been causing me heartache, especially the thought of her being engaged now to another guy. Let her go, my friends and family say, I do not know if they are right but they mean well ... it is just tearing me apart and giving me constant tears. I would give anything to have her back, but like the man says, once they have gone, well, they are gone ... mostly.
I often wonder how married couples cope? I know lots where the passion has died, but they stay together for kids and finances. Must be hell ....
 outdoorsguy2099
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 23
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:19:04 AM
ya i hear what u are all saying,im trying my best to do things and not think about her or her kid,ive started to run lots now and i got hockey starting up soon so that will help,like i said before some days im not to bad but others its as if it happened the other day,i wouldnt wish this kinda feeling on my worse enemy,its horrible.
 outdoorsguy2099
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 24
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:22:53 PM
well i found out today i have no chance wat so ever with her ever again,she doesnt care about me at all,and shes more then likely seeing another guy now,fukin hurts alot again,yet im geting more angry about it then sad i cried at first then was angry,im all over the place right now.
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 25
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:49:14 PM
your emotions will go up and down and all around.
there are different stages to go through.
anger is one of them that is going towards healing.
but falling back to saddness again is normal.
just hold on to your self....
know that this is normal and that many of us have went through this and survived and came
out knowing more about ourselves
it does really hurt. just know that it WILL get better.
stick to your friends,.socialize and do as much as you can.dont isolate and dwell on the missing of the relationship.
sometimes we can get to where it is the closeness that a relationship brings us that we can end up missing more than the person.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > feeling lost and empty