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 FoolsDayBaby
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 1
Use of lubricantPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I've been seeing someone the past few weeks and last night we became intimate for the first time. He is very thick down there, and I am small. He could barely get in and it was not real enjoyable for me. Today I am quite sore. I am thinking we need to use lubricant, which I've never needed before. How do men feel about this? And what lubricants are best? How do you go about bringing it out and applying it without it being awkward? Thank you for any help!
 Single_Dad_Dave
Joined: 4/21/2012
Msg: 2
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 9:37:50 AM
I'm a fan of K-Y liquid, but there are many out there and you can experiment.

No guy is going to be offended when you tell him that you were sore because he's too big. Different story, if you had a problem with his lack of size. How do you keep it from being awkward? Talk to him about it beforehand, let him know how much he turns you on, but that he was larger than you're used to and you think lube would help. A good handjob with the lube takes the awkwardness out.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 3
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Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 9:39:03 AM
Im not affected by a woman needing lubricant. Use it!
I use astroglide which is pretty commonly available. But there are many more options out there. Some flavored ;)
Have fun with mr thick!
 _Meta_Man_
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 4
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 9:48:44 AM
are you sore from friction or stretching? Friction lube will help ... if you are already wet but need to stretch he should work with you to go slower but it won't be long all will be fine. As far as the wetness goes a lot of women seem to have a dry spell before they climax that can be where the friction burns happen...
 moonchildMN
Joined: 9/28/2012
Msg: 5
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 10:12:14 AM
There are a lot of options these days.....expand your horizons or go with the old stand by KY, but it's a little runny and messy.

You can order online or go hit a adult toy store, the possibilites are endless and it will help you enjoy his *thickness* more. I'm sure you're guy will be fine with it,,,,it seems to be the standard in every woman's nightstand....or it should be.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 6
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Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 10:44:23 AM
Check out a non-water based lube called Gun Oil. It doesn't dry out or get sticky, and is tasteless, odorless, and toy safe. I'm not sure if it's safe for condoms, and you didn't say if you use them. It's expensive, but really lasts as you need very little.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 7
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 11:21:48 AM
Thick or not,if he doesn't get your wet with foreplay,why let him in unless
your body doesn't easily make natural lube?
 jt guy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 8
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 12:08:55 PM
OP: The women I have been with and they thought lube might be needed went ahead and and lubed me up. It never bothered me or offended me, so use whatever you like and I'm sure your BF will be fine with it.

The last lady I was with used coconut oil. Never heard of that, but she said it worked and tasted good too. Heck, I wanted to do the deed and would have been happy if she poured 40 weight motor oil on me. So now, OP, you see us guys just don't care, as long as we get to do the deed.

Just for the record....it is suggested to use lube if a guy does himself or you do it for him. He should know that and he will think you know your way around in the bedroom, if you lube him up and give him a handjob. While doing the handjob, look at his eyes. They will roll back in his head and listen to him moan. You need not say anything, just do it. He will never guess you need it, he will just think you are doing a smart job for him. I must stop typing now...going to look for the lube ! This might not be the information you wanted, but it sure worked wonders for me.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 9
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Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 1:00:46 PM
hmm, i don't think you two are compatible lol
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 10
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 1:38:00 PM
I love coconut oil as lube. Be sensual about it and use it as part of foreplay. Make sure he uses fingers and toys to stretch you as part of foreplay too. LOTS of foreplay.
 HowRJ
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 11
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 2:03:30 PM
Pjur Eros........a little pricey but IMO the best lubricant out there.......lube, no lube, or 50 weight gear oil......I'm never offended when I'm about to have sex......
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 12
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Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 2:11:36 PM

I love coconut oil as lube. Be sensual about it and use it as part of foreplay. Make sure he uses fingers and toys to stretch you as part of foreplay too. LOTS of foreplay.


also make sure he marries you after all that stretching, or future POF members will come back and post an opposite problem.
 laxjc
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 13
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 2:14:24 PM
I go back to the Romans and Greeks and from massage classes...try olive oil....completely natural....it can be fun as part of a massage for both of you....use some on him,,, then put some on his hand....not much more vbisually sensual than a woman rubbing herself.....you can go to incense store and add different scents....
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 14
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 2:29:25 PM
OP, remember that lubricant only helps with lubrication! If the problem was that you were a bit too tense/small, it won't help with the soreness.

But anyways, lubricants are always lots of fun to play around with in many ways, even if you don't use them for penetration. I've never encountered a guy who was opposed to fooling around with it.

Once you get all hot and heavy, just get that lubricant out and ask him: "How about having some fun with this one here?" e.g. and start applying it wherever he likes to be massaged...........nothing awkward about it at all.

Remember though to wipe it off his member before putting on the condom, and if you do use it for penetration, don't overdo it and kill all friction entirely!

Most importantly, have fun with it girl!

KY is not my fave though for playing around with, as if you use it on the body, it dries too quickly and gets unpleasantly sticky.

@ those of you who have mentioned the coconut oil: As I have used it so far only for cooking, smile, is that safe to use with regular latex condoms?
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 15
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Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 3:52:55 PM

Thick or not,if he doesn't get your wet with foreplay,why let him in unless
your body doesn't easily make natural lube?


What are you talking about? She didn't say anything about not being wet.
 FoolsDayBaby
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 16
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 4:22:40 PM
Thank you, many of you posted thoughtful and helpful advice. To clarify, we had plenty of foreplay and I was wet and ready. I'm just small and he's huge. I did not have vaginal baby deliveries so I've never been stretched out. It was especially nice to hear from the men that the use of lubricant does not turn them off. I've never needed it before.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 17
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Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 6:39:08 PM

How do men feel about this?

How do you feel about microtears? They suck. Don't use lube for the man's pleasure, use it for your protection and comfort. If he doesn't want you to use lube if it's necessary, don't have sex with him.


And what lubricants are best?

Depends on what kind of sex you're having.

Avoid any flavoured lubes if you're prone to vaginal yeast infections.

I'm a fan of water-based like Swiss Navy. Easy clean up, no chance of damaging condoms or silicone toys. Will evaporate and need reapplication over time.

I've used silicone with my glass toys and for anal (little goes a long way). Can "stain" your sheets or clothing, but I've never had this problem myself. Lasts longer, doesn't evaporate.. does require soap and water clean up.

If you're talking about anal, I'm a huge fan of the cream lubes like Elbow Grease (I've heard Boy Butter is better, but my local shops can't keep up with demand and never have any instock!). Used in combination with a silicone lube.. works great. Does require more of a clean up. I can't remember if it's safe to use with condoms or not... but I'm thinking it's not.

Go to your local adult store and pick up some sample sizes of different lubes and test them out! I can't think of anything more fun than that.


How do you go about bringing it out and applying it without it being awkward?

It's only awkward if you MAKE it awkward. Get the bottle out, keep it handy, make it a part of foreplay for him..

Put some in your hand and allow it to warm up, then start slathering it all over his penis and give him a slow steady hand job until he's throbbing hard. Then take a bit more and rub it over yourself.. or put it in his hand and guide his hand to your bits and rub his hand around.. he'll get the hint quick enough.
 passion2pleaseaz
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 18
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 7:22:54 PM
i like using lubricant that is for men who are very sensitive and need just a bit of numbing to make sex pleasurable for me.
 Yesready
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 19
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 7:37:36 PM
Oooh, I love feeling sore the next day! Hmmm! Makes me want more!

Bottled lubes, saliva, and changes in position all work for me with a well-endowed lover. Spend more time on foreplay. Let your senses take you to euphoria.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 20
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Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 9:15:17 PM
I'm a big fan of hemp oil.....all natural and doesn't get sticky.

I have the same issue as you do.....and while the lube can help........learning to relax is foremost.
If you are tense about him hurting you, you will tend to tighten up even more.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 21
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/16/2013 9:47:34 PM

Basically gratify his ego with how big he is and it shouldn't be anything awkward or embarassing.


A guy with a lot of girth probably isn’t flattered by hearing he has a lot of girth.

They’ve already tried intercourse. It wasn’t easy. Being girthful is a problem here, not a juvenile fantasy.
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 22
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Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/17/2013 8:25:15 AM
If you feel you need then go for it. It's more common than you might think. When my girlfriend and I first got together she just didn't self-lubricate enough for sex to be comfortable. Hell,I could hardly get it in. We used lubricant all the time,and now we still use it for other acts. My suggestion is go together to an Adult store where they have samples or testers and try a few out. If nothing else you can also get lubes at Wal-Mart.
 RNG34116
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 23
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/17/2013 9:39:32 AM
It is better to inquire about using lubricants (make the guy feel like he is King Kong II), than to ask for tweezers and a magnifing glass!
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 24
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Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/17/2013 10:03:41 AM
^^^OP has referenced having babies surgically as to why she is small. I would think that means she was talking about her pvssy. Unless you know of people who shat their babies???
 Yesready
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 25
Use of lubricant
Posted: 2/19/2013 9:46:47 AM
Puzzled by the description "lot of girth". Not sure is if it pertains to penis or torso? I googled it and only found reference to large women.
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