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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Improvements to be made?      Home login  
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 2
Improvements to be made?Page 1 of 1    
Two notes.

1) It seems that the locations of your pictures are the focal point and not you. Think "Ooo nice beach.", "great castle." or "cobble streets of Scotland."
This is a dating site and what you are selling is you! Looking at your pictures all I am thinking about is where I am going on my next holiday!
Removed the now main picture and the castle one (it could be anyone in the picture).
I want to see a strong head shot picture of you smiling back at me (or insert cute girl instead of me) and make that your main picture.

2) Read your profile again and notice how many times you say "Also."
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 3
Improvements to be made?
Posted: 2/18/2013 11:20:10 AM
Remove first line as it makes you out to be negative and unsuccessful sociallay.
Remove second line of first paragraph ("Considering") as it makes you out to be indecisive. When you do start studying then it's a good thing to mention.
Overall the profile seems a bit aimless which is not what women look for.
They like men who are decisive, know what they want, etc., and you are writing the profile for them, not for you.
I'd mention accomplishments, such as you've got a certificate in engineering something, and work at whatever.
Mention if you have made any recordings or YouTube videos, where you have performed or what music you can play.
Women want to get to know a man before they commit to a date, a sleep over, and so on. Use the profile to tell them the sort of things they want to know so they feel they know you already. Find out what they want to know by doing some research online or at the public library. Don't worry about the librarians seeing you taking out books on dating, they're very discrete. :)

Cinema is no good as you can't talk there!
This is good. Women love to talk. A date where you have something to do is good, like minature golf or an amusement park. A date where you just sit an talk can be awkward for a guy. Usually you take her somewhere familiar to you where you can be relaxed and confident as women like that.
Finally, a photo with a full tooth smile is good. Women have complained in the forums that closed mouth smiles hide rotten teeth.
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 4
view profile
Improvements to be made?
Posted: 2/18/2013 11:53:19 AM
First thing, get rid of all the pictures except 6 + 7. Nobody wants to see vacation photos.

Also spell check.

I always suggest to be interactive: list your fave bands and ask "if anyone knows a similar band I may like, I would love the suggestion" - this way it gives an easy topic for someone to messsage, and shows there is a similar interest.

 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 7
Improvements to be made?
Posted: 7/24/2013 9:00:43 PM
You really need to get a shoulders up clear smiling head shot, taken by someone else. Women want to see eyes and teeth.

You completely missed the Interests field. This is where you can give clues to your interests, personality, sense of humour, and pique the interest of your viewer. She will be able to find things in common and possibly even start a conversation. List specific examples of your favourites, like Top Gear, a music group or artist, author, holiday spot, sport you play, team you follow, a comedian whose style you especially enjoy, a food/dessert or cuisine.... see where I'm going with this?

The profile body could easily have been enhanced:

Hey everyone. Work for a service company in Aberdeen at the moment 5 days a week. Why not have fun with this? are you a cubicle dweller or the best damned coffee maker the company has ever seen? Use your imagination.

Outside of work I'm really into my music (fav. bands include Death Cab for Cutie, Killers, the Strokes, Franz Ferdinand, Manic Street Preachers, Jamiroquai, Kings of Leon and Minus the Bear), whether it be playing (guitar), listening (I collect vinyl) or going to gigs / festivals. This should be its own paragraph and at least one of the groups should be in your Interests field. What do you like to rock out to when you play guitar? What's the most recent gig you went to, or is there something coming up soon you're looking forward to seeing?

I'm a big lover of cars so no surprise Top Gear is my favourite programme on TV. I drive a Fiat 500 Abarth and love it to bits. You may get flack over the car stuff, but hey, some girls enjoy cars too. Will you offer to do free oil changes?

I like going out for food with friends, weekends away and trips to the cinema. what kind of food? Burger King or a pub nite with darts and pool? Ever tried dim sum? Again, write a picture.

I'm more at home in a cosy bar than a noisy night club, must be showing my age! Looking to meet some like minded people, I certainly don't want to rush into anything. How many 'people' do you want to meet? A bunch of women? or just one at a time? Are you open to someone of any race/colour/faith? (if not, don't mention it) Are you open to someone who may already have a child(ren) at home? (if not, again, don't mention it).

If we get on from the first date then take it from there. This falls under The Obvious Clause. Put this in your First Date section.

I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest:
Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages:

Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name.

Do not say:

- Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time)
- I read your profile (should be obvious)
- you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message)
- let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message)
- check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already)
- hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate)
Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you.

If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband.

Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only)

See the difference? I obviously read your profile, opened a conversation, no pressure

 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 8
Improvements to be made?
Posted: 7/25/2013 6:18:21 PM
On behalf of girls everywhere, thank you.
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 10
Improvements to be made?
Posted: 7/25/2013 9:00:28 PM
We may be driving through your town the first week of Sept on the way to Edmonton. It would be fun to get you liquored up. There could be blackmail photos.
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 13
Improvements to be made?
Posted: 7/2/2014 11:37:41 AM
You only have one decent photo, your #3, everything else is hurting you.
Wanna know why? In #3 the faces are smiling, in focus, well-lit with nice clothes on. Everybody is enjoying the moment. Now compare to the other pictures - Yukk !
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 14
Improvements to be made?
Posted: 7/2/2014 2:35:05 PM

18 months later still getting nowhere

You wrote a sentence about your thirst to go skiing.

It's Summer July 2014. Most alpine skiing is done for the season.
That line makes the profile look less than contemporary.

Plus, if you haven't been skiing in the last twenty years,
I seriously doubt "strapping on the sticks,"
even if you could find some snow,
would be on your high priority short list.

That notion seems about as dry as a cotton ball.

I suggest replacing "skiing" with a fun Summertime activity.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 15
Improvements to be made?
Posted: 7/2/2014 3:06:08 PM
Strive to get much better pics.

You primary pic should be a clear, head/shoulder shot ( with a smile ) and sans friends, family, kiddies, booze, hats, caps, hoodies etc., as women want to see your face and eyes clearly.
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