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 AUTHOR
 ImReadyForUnow
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 2
Critical review desiredPage 1 of 1    
{quote]I am specifically interested in criticism of my pictures and consideration of whether or not the format of my "about me" section will be effective. I know that it is a general rule of thumb to not wear sunglasses or to have women in a picture with me, but that same picture also conveys a lot of other positive things about me as well.

Anyway, criticise away!

I'm sorry why are you here?

You just said you know what is wrong with your profile pictures but we would be wasting our time confirming the fact because you have already decided your keeping them because you think it conveys positive things although this is a dating site an you know it's a negative.

If we look at your "About me" will we also be wasting our time?

You are not someone looking for help.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 7
Critical review desired
Posted: 12/2/2014 8:57:41 AM
You don't need to over-complicate the way you write, especially on POF. What your writing lacks is specificity, and clarity.

Your first paragraph attempts to flaunt your vocabulary for the purpose of flaunting your vocabulary. You did not employ exacting, and clear language as you intended. The whole paragraph contradicts that, and basically says nothing, other than you like to use big words.

Wouldn't it be better to be labeled intelligent based on merit? You can put the thesaurus down. There is a difference between displaying intelligence, and waving it around in frantic hope people take notice.

You want to space out your about me section - and you want to remove the "who I am looking for" section you created. You won't get enough traffic to need to filter women who don't meet whatever criteria you have. Remove it, once you receive 50 different messages a day, then consider bringing it back. If you can give me one reason why this section is necessary, be my guest, but being male, you do not want to be a chooser because I promise you that every women you message has about 200 options to your 1.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 10
Critical review desired
Posted: 12/2/2014 9:54:58 AM
Much better

To quote Steven King

"“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.”
 Deedeelogan
Joined: 12/1/2013
Msg: 11
Critical review desired
Posted: 12/2/2014 10:11:31 AM
Pictures still aren't very good. The main picture is clearly a cropped out woman beside you. Ex girlfriend? Current girlfriend? That's what a woman thinks when she sees that. The bar picture is a good one for Facebook. On here its like playing where's Waldo.

Your About Me is pretty good except for: "I am the type of guy that will throw Hershey's Kisses at your butt on Valentines day! You can expect me to like cuddling with you, holding hands in public, and kissing your face while saying "om nom nom". :P"

That just sounds creepy. Who knows? There might be women out there who'd enjoy having chocolates pegged at their butt. You might want to be in a relationship for awhile before you ask your girlfriend if that's something she'd enjoy. There's a lot of women out there who don't like having things thrown at them. Maybe hundred dollar bills.... Cuddling and kissing are things to expect will come in time in a relationship. You don't need to reference them in your About Me. Makes a woman think you're only on POF looking for sex.

You can probably ditch your email restrictions about who you will and won't receive mail from. Men don't normally get so swamped with messages that they can't screen them as they come in without the help of POF's filters blocking all women who aren't inside your criteria. What if your dream woman just turned 29 and lives 80 miles away? She's blocked from sending you a message.

Good luck.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 12
Critical review desired
Posted: 12/2/2014 12:16:39 PM
Hi,

Let your first name show.
The write up is called "about me" then you say "about me.

All your pics are bad.

She is going to focus on the woman in red dress that was cropped out.
Superfriends? Really?
A gun pointed at you while you hang from a tree?

You come on very strong and hyperactive. Too many !!! and first paragraph is all about how you push hard in all aspects of your life. Are you going to push hard on a date or pursuing a woman? Then you mention it again in last paragraph.
If this accurately describes you, leave it in.

Being a health conscious vegetarian is not an oxymoron. Plenty of ways to get protein. Not sure why you wasted space on this.

Ugh "go big or go home". Cliche to the max.

What if she likes bars to chill with friends or a night out to see a band? You just alienated these women, so be sure that's how you feel and it's not up for consideration. She could always save that for when she's with girl friends.
But then you say you like dancing in public. But not at a club or bar?
Women love to dance...hard to find men who do, too.

Throwing Hershey Kisses at her butt? Is that a strange type of target practice you do often or just on Valentines Day?
Kissing her face while you make eating noises? Do you do it to all girls you date? She wants to feel special and have spontaneous affection, not what you do to all women.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 13
Critical review desired
Posted: 12/2/2014 1:21:02 PM

I am looking for a fresh review of my profile.

....and the growth of my interests.






I saw two things that made me pause,
when reading your dating "profile"




Profession - Ask me


Another secret agent?

General terms work fine
to illustrate you're employed.
You should put something down.






I am the type of guy that will throw Hershey's Kisses at your butt on Valentines day!


^^^^^ This seems like an odd statement.
Unless your interests include travelling down the Hershey Highway
on Valentines evening around midnight, you might consider rewording
this potentially confounding sentence.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 15
Critical review desired
Posted: 12/2/2014 2:33:35 PM
Nice work; reads so much better!
It felt like you were trying too hard and trying to be different just for the sake of being different.
Sounds genuine now.

As for mail restrictions, men don't need them as the chance of unsolicited messages clogging inbox doesn't exist.
Also, would you discount a super mature 20 about to be 21 or a woman who was 28 last week and just turned 29?
A 28 yr old that you message will think that you would prefer a 21 yr old.
It all works against you.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 17
Critical review desired
Posted: 12/2/2014 11:10:21 PM
Tdav89...welcome to the Profile Reviews forum.
You live very close to the U.S. border. I would discard that inbound email restriction to ensure maximum reach.
Perhaps you'll get a job in Queenston, CN someday and the woman of your dreams resides in Lewiston, NY?

Have a friend take two dozen well-lit, OUTDOOR, crisp photographs using a high-quality digital camera...which is preferred over a fuzzy cellphone. This is primarily due to better ergonomics and superior capability of a camera to process available light. Include a variety of backgrounds, activities, and various articles of clothing to add greater interest. Make sure there are enough without hats, costumes, or sunglasses. Have both close-ups and full-body images. Upload the best pics of the bunch. Ensure you continue to date and caption each...to make them more entertaining to read. Good luck with your romantic search. :-)
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 19
Critical review desired
Posted: 12/5/2014 12:34:27 PM
^^ Gorgeous main photo -- nice smile.

I like the written part of your profile, overall. Your countenence seems pleasant, too. The big problem I have is that you don't mention the kind of lady you seek! I agree profiles are all about you -- but what do you want romantically?

Best wishes.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 20
Critical review desired
Posted: 12/5/2014 1:47:36 PM
One pic atop the ruins is enough.
Delete the gym pic...hate gym mirror selfies almost as much as bathroom mirror ones.
Superhero happy meal pic made me laugh, in a good way.
Keep working on those pics.
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