Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > dating my ex again after 10 years      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 2
dating my ex again after 10 yearsPage 1 of 1    

I know there was a reason why we are ex's

The reason getting back together seldom works is because the issues that tore you apart are still there. Eventually, they rear their ugly head and tear you apart all over again. Now, with that said, it's been 10 years. Are the issues still there? They might not be and you could be different people in different places. Only you can decide. (Personally, I wouldn't do it).
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 3
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/20/2013 12:23:21 PM
The reason for divorce/breakup will resurface again in time because the reasons are still there, or the memory of it. This is called ghostly lover syndrome. I see posts about it every week here. People temporarily think of only the good but not the bad things about a previous lover, and try to get back together again. It's got a super high chance of failure. Your best bet is to find a new person to have a relationship with, a clean slate.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 4
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/20/2013 12:59:50 PM
Good luck, brother!
Hope you two resolved any differences/deficiencies from your earlier years.
Here is to hoping you enjoy much success...
 AvailableinIndy
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 5
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/20/2013 3:19:45 PM
Taking back your ex is like buying your own stuff at a garage sale.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 6
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/20/2013 3:54:17 PM

Taking back your ex is like buying your own stuff at a garage sale

lol...that's funny.
I wouldn't go back to my ex...I'd be elated, if he came back snivelling to me....though...lol.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 7
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/20/2013 4:58:38 PM

I know there was a reason why we are ex's but the both of us really seemed very happy. I'm not sure if this is something that will last. We did get to share breakfast and we did seem to click just both a bit older.

Well, what's the reason? You need a good LOGICAL, SOUND reason why you would get back together. Riding off "the flow" of things is NOT a good reason -- that's destined for failure. But if there's a deal-breaker that broke it, but that is resolved -- dunno, judgement call. And those don't happen too often with people. Don't get your hopes up, even in that case.
 NOCLOWNING
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 8
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/20/2013 6:32:33 PM
I myself, have never , or never will go back to a ex.
Some people, say, sometimes you meet the right person, at the wrong time.
How ever, wish you luck.
 thewhowhobrokethepot
Joined: 12/16/2011
Msg: 9
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/20/2013 8:07:29 PM
You mean you would like to date again your ex? Or you are just thinking to date her because it seems convenient.
If the former, than just take it easy. Ten years is a long time, you both are (hopefully :) )wiser, more mature, and also not the same people you were when you broke up.
Don't ask yourself too many questions. Just be yourself and let her be herself. Time will tell.
 OC28AV99
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 10
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/20/2013 10:36:36 PM
Wow, I guess I'm more surprised that neither one of you really moved on in the 10 years you spent apart... I say that because my divorce isn't even final yet and I'm already gone (to quote The Eagles :)). Guess I'd just wish you luck, I've heard of reconciling after a while, yours is just a long while! But I guess you have nothing to lose, at least you'll be friends again in any case :).
 angellight2091
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 11
view profile
History
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/21/2013 4:39:34 AM
My sister got back together with her ex after five years and they have been together (with a great marriage) ever since... It CAN work if youve grown and matured... Good luck..
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 13
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/21/2013 7:38:53 PM
As long as you're just dating your ex and not moving in together I don't see the problem. Have fun.
 Midwest_Southwest
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 14
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/21/2013 8:00:27 PM
My best friend reignited her romance with her boyfriend from 25 years ago. They are happily married and a wonderful couple- each “the one that got away.” Timing can be everything.
I hope it works out for you two.
 mtser1
Joined: 2/7/2013
Msg: 15
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/21/2013 8:12:17 PM
you only get one shot per woman per life time...
NEVER go back to an EX..........................
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 16
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/22/2013 12:07:28 PM
Nothing wrong with it. There are no rules in life. 10 years is a good time amount of time to be separated. In 10 years, people can change and mature and resolve issues that were present in the past. I know when I hit 50, my perspective changed quite a bit. Enjoy.
 brinaalina
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 17
view profile
History
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/23/2013 12:23:04 AM
I have been speaking to me ex of 5 years too recently and one day we might get back together. Yes there's a 'reason you're exes' but, especially after ten years, people DO grow and could change. Especially when we are young, we have more hormones and stuff raging, making us more crazy than we already are.

I say go for it. If she is giving off the right signals and there's no baggage from past relationships, I see no problem at all. If you break up with someone and they disappear completely, then it wasn't meant to be. But if they reappear in your life more and more then obviously there's unfinished business. Also, you need to ask her straight up what she wants to do, so you're not being led on.

Hope that helped :)
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 18
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/23/2013 2:01:37 PM
OP OP OP.........do the names Liz Taylor and Richard Burton mean anything to you???? They married and divorced twice!

An ex and is an ex for a reason and it doesn't really matter how much time has elapsed, always remembers leopards don't change their spots. A "second chance" relationship has a 90% failure rate after the "honeymoon phase" wears off.

The on/off again stuff just doesn't work. - Too much drama and no stability.

My ex of nearly 8 years has tried to come knocking on my door 5 times now and my answer is always, always the same: No way in hell would I ever go back with him because I know it would be more of the same and I deserve much better than that.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 19
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/23/2013 3:14:08 PM
Some here will say no and some will say yes.

How do you feel?

Its about you and ultimately your decision.

Only you know the intimate details of the relationship, not us.

I have done it. I don't regret it at any time.

Once it didn't work and once it did.

Follow what you feel is right. A bunch of strangers and thier
Stories and lives and endings and beginnings should have no
Bearing on yours.

Good luck in whatever you decide.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 21
view profile
History
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/24/2013 5:18:35 AM
I am not one to venture backwards, however, after my father's death, his girlfriend of 6 years was truly heartbroken. When her only son died six month later, her ex husband was there to comfort her. They were divorced for 12 years. After comforting each other through this difficult time, the reunited. They are living together again after dating a year and have been happy for the past 10 years.. I never say never.
 Aintnothang__
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 22
dating my ex again after 10 years
Posted: 2/24/2013 8:00:21 AM
I can totally understand wanting to get back with an ex. Not that I have, I get it. I still have a part of me that loves my ex husband. Probably always will, he's the only person I chose to marry and have a child with. Having said that he's also the only one I am divorced from lol I think dating your ex is like going to the trash to see if the milk you threw out is still spoiled.

Every situation is different. If you want to give it a shot, go for it. Just know the odds are probably stacked against you.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > dating my ex again after 10 years