Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > So I met this girl..      Home login  
So I met this girl..Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)

I guess this is what maturity is.

the maturity part is being self-aware enough to know when you're in phase like this, and to not make new contacts and set up dates till you're out of it. that way you're not going through the motions of dating when it's not what you actually want, which wastes people's time and effort.
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 3
So I met this girl..
Posted: 2/21/2013 11:41:18 AM

Pehaps, what you are looking for is a woman who not only looks good but presents more of a challenge? This based on the fact that YOU seem to have lost interest when SHE showed more......Just a thought.......
Joined: 11/9/2012
Msg: 6
So I met this girl..
Posted: 2/21/2013 3:36:28 PM
I don't know if it is the same but I often went to meets with an attitude that I wish I was doing something else(secretly hoping she doesn't show maybe???). I thought it was due to non romantic nature of "coffee meet-ups". I personally find that type of venue un inspiring regardless of who I am with and the un romantic nature makes me think platonic. Thus making it feel like an effort has to be made to change moods.Could it be the meeting just left you un inspired?I do know certain venues made me feel more in the zone.
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 7
view profile
So I met this girl..
Posted: 2/21/2013 4:05:01 PM
OP, do you agree that you knew, from the first meet, that there was NO chemisty/spark/initial attraction that made you want to see her again?

People deny this aspect of dating and yet here is a perfect example! Even going on the second date feels like so much hard work without that initial spark.

And OP do have abit of empathy and stop stringing the poor girl along...
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 8
So I met this girl..
Posted: 2/21/2013 5:42:49 PM
1) if I'm interested in someone yet I have to put the gym before them...then the problem isn't them, its my image of my body. we always make time for what we think is important, and like the bumpersticker says, exercise and die anyway :) one day missed at a gym doesn't hurt the body, unless you really need a superior body, and the question is, why? unless you are making money off your body, it ain't that big a deal, unless its a big part of your self identity.
The problem, of course, is like attracts like. people who focus on one dimension, tend to attract like minded people who feel more comfortable around their own.

2)If I wasn't that interested in them anyway, b/c all she offered was looks, then I'd cut it short. looks are nice, but everyone's got 'em. I wouldn't count on them getting the hint. it just wastes my time.

3) I find few people who really make me want to go thru all their BS in order to get their company. That's usually b/c they don't offer a whole lot more than arm candy. they worry about giving up sex too soon, b/c its the only bargaining chip they have. they yak during a concert b/c they can't stop looking for attention long enough to enjoy what's going on right in front of them. they play testing games b/c they can't listen to the words coming out of a person's mouth to determine if that person is worthwhile. they can't have fun unless booze is involved.

a pretty face just ain't enough. the smile on it has to be non-generic. it has to show the personality behind that pretty face, let me know how she reacts to different things from how her background created her into the unique person she is...not just the same brainless smile that says, "I'm not certain what just happened, but smiling always allowed me to get by in life, so I'll just do it again."
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 9
view profile
So I met this girl..
Posted: 2/23/2013 10:02:25 PM

you're about right, I'm not impressed by much of anything nowadays, besides my own skills at Battlefield 3. lol
Videogames are so much more fun than women for me right now...yikes, did I just say that?

I didn't have much luck with women until I completely let myself go and attacked my life weaknesses head on. I felt my mind going complacent, so went back to community college to wake it up, then I started working out because I noticed guys with better bodies than me getting the girls I want. Then I realized confidence plays a major part in getting what I want too. I've been working on myself for a long time.

All I really care about right now is waiting for the weather to get warm so I can go play on the beach, throw the frisbee around, have fun and not care about anything. Life is too short, ya know?

I disagree with others thinking that you are depressed, not at all, if anything you are becoming "elightened". Buddhists say " you will always loose what you cling to", so you are not clinging to some stupid girl, seeking her approval, you are looking for the source of happiness within yourself, and of course thats when girls would want you the most. They can see that you are awsome and they want to be part of it.
Joined: 12/7/2012
Msg: 10
view profile
So I met this girl..
Posted: 2/25/2013 11:02:58 AM
Okay, I feel for ya on this. I can relate to itas, I was in. A relationship with someone after awhile she was fixated on me, our relationship began to take a dive. I waskind of the same I started to loose interest playing video game or pre occupy myself I stead of spending time with knock out x. I revised, now that the video game had become my retreat for lack of challenge in the relationship. She became dependant on me and there for the chase died and it became as though I were dating myself. Needless to say once independence fades if not committed so does luster.
Take some time to re evaluate yourself and set your goals. Don't rush yet cause you body is telling you need a break to gather your desire and formalize them to what your looking for in a female. Most likely you tired of the game not entering something more lovers lasting
Joined: 12/7/2012
Msg: 11
view profile
So I met this girl..
Posted: 2/25/2013 11:10:55 PM
wow, auto correct has massively murdered that post
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > So I met this girl..