Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Jamiesmith69
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 1
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please helpPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
So... my boyfriend has a massive shoe/foot fetish and I'm OK with it. I've even started to enjoy it a lot and has become a small fetish for them myself. I know goes on sites looking at pictures/videos and buying shoes. But he refuses to admit it. Now I've discovered pictures of a shoe tree... he's collected 100 & 100's of shoes and has tree shrine. He's never told me about it and well it makes me uncomfortable... is this normal? Do others out there have similar fantasy n fetishes? Can anyone explain this to me? I'd like to understand this so I can cope with my uncomfortable ness with this subject. I love him very much and I accepted a lot of things with this fetish but a secret shoe tree is well too much for me, it makes me honestly turned off and debating on breaking it off. Please help
 kzp2018
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 2
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 12:33:20 AM
Hello ... Give him all the shoe loving and fun you can possibly stand ... I PROMISE ... you will NEVER and I mean NEVER lose him if you do !!!
 Jamiesmith69
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 3
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 12:42:45 AM
He never actually buys me shoes. He buys shoes from random women on line. Gets off on them takes loads of pictures then throws them up in some random tree in the country. He doesn't open up about. Never tells me what he likes what he's into. Just does his own thing, whatches shoe porn ect. And only sleeps with me here and there.
 kzp2018
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 4
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 12:54:09 AM
Open up ask him and tell him you are ok with it .... He probably feels strange and is worried you will laugh at him or something ... my Ex totally shamed me because I liked her feet and it sucked for me cause i like HER feet no one elses but she laughed and shamed me ... we broke up .... sad
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 5
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 2:47:48 AM
Op:
I would have no problem with a man with a shoe fettish.......having ALMOSTone myself.....I get it! Where I do have a problem is he buying other women's USED shoes! For goodness sakes.....if a man with a shoe fettish would buy me a pair of NEW high heeled Jimmy Choo boots......well, I would be more than happy to model them for him! He could take all the pics he wants and I would even let him lick them if he so desired!! It's alll about quid pro quo! You support my fettish and I'll support yours! LOL

Seriously Op,

Usually, this fettish can not be changed......but what can is your understanding of it and his ability to communicate and share his feelings with regards to this fettish! Sometimes it is the "hiding" aspect that is more damaging to the relationship!

In today's internet age, there are tons of Psy. forums that address this particular fettish and many others! I would suggest you search there!
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 6
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 4:37:02 AM
Quality shoe trees should always be made out of cedar and brass to preserve the shape of the shoe, prevent cracks in the leather, and leave behind a fresh fragrance. Oh, wait, this is a different kind of shoe tree he has!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
view profile
History
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 4:49:05 AM
I was thrown at first by the OP saying that she was okay until she discovered the secret "shoe tree." This is because "shoe tree" is also one of the names for the mechanical devices you can buy to put in your shoes, and make them keep their newish shape (usually made of wood and metal).

I found it extra amusing, that when I googled "shoe tree," that the "Search" responses were all about the mechanical device. Not even a hint or mention of an actual tree with shoes hanging off of it. But as soon as I clicked on "Images," to make sure that what I thought a shoe tree looked like was accurate, suddenly 90% of the entries WERE pictures of trees festooned with shoes. Interesting from a computer-search point of view.

Anyway, fetishes and addictions are quixotic things to deal with. Some can appear harmless, until you investigate them, and then become terrifying. When I was very young, and heard about "peeping toms," guys who got off on sneaking up to a windo, and watching women undress, I thought it made the guy out to be a bit of a harmless dweeb. But after reading a lot more, I learned that it is often a signal that the guy has deep and dangerous sociopathic problems, and is often a precursor to the guy "taking it to the next level," and raping and killing women.

Some fetishes can be relatively harmless in and of themselves, but cause all sorts of lifestyle problems. People hooked on collecting things, can end up spending too much time and money doing it, and even use up their entire house catering to it, forcing all human company out.

I don't think there is an answer to either fix the fetishist, or to fix the person put off by them. All anyone can really do, is associate with people one is comfortable with, or not.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 8
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 4:55:48 AM

Now I've discovered pictures of a shoe tree... he's collected 100 & 100's of shoes and has tree shrine

WTF?!??! There are some strange dudes in this world
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 9
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 5:04:19 AM

If I was you...I'd give him the 'BOOT'!!!!!



Wtf is a shoe tree?
Seriously,Op,i couldn't deal with someone like this in a million years.
*shrug*
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 10
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 5:59:30 AM
wow, it's hard to take this seriously..... first you say you enjoy this fetish with him, then you say that you only have sex now and then?

I smell a troll.....
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 11
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 9:01:03 AM

never actually buys me shoes. He buys shoes from random women on line. Gets off on them takes loads of pictures then throws them up in some random tree in the country


I also was a little puzzled about the 'shoe tree' reference till this tidbit about throwing the shoes into the trees surfaced.

I live in a town internationally known for making quality workboots. it is a point of pride in our community. There is an old tree next to the local watering hole where alot of the workers used to hang out. Invisible in the summer when the trees are in full leaf, but in fall and winter one sees that the whole tree is filled with workboots, laces tied together so they are in pairs, the boots looped over the branches like giant fruits. Its incredible, a true work of art.

I have no idea who did it originally or who keeps it up, as I imagine the laces rot after awhile. OP, it might be helpful to view your friend as an artist rather than a guy with a weird fetish. In any case, thanks for bringing back that memory to me, I had kind of forgotten about our city's 'Shoe Tree'< :-)
 Jamiesmith69
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 12
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 9:23:06 AM
We don't have sex often. He comes to me for foot jobs blow jobs ect. But sex is only when I bug. There's no returned treatment towards myself. He won't play along with any of my sexual fantasy. I've been with him a year and I've known him for 6. He means a lot to me. But if all he wants is shoes that he hides then why bother?
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 13
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 10:33:26 AM
I would be upset too if my guy had a fetish that he wasnt being open about. Secrets kill trust. No trust, no relationship.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 14
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 10:38:19 AM

We don't have sex often. He comes to me for foot jobs ... But if all he wants is shoes that he hides

Fvck me .... this is made up right? (wiping tears from my eyes) ...
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 15
view profile
History
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 11:07:38 AM
So you are now blowing his toes and feet????.....lmao

When a fetish becomes a turnoff issue for you, then it is time to move on. One can enjoy and support a fetish of another that they care about, but once it gets in your way and your comfort zone, then it either needs to be adjusted or you need to move on to someone that does not have one or has one that you enjoy as much if not more than they do.

Good luck with finding a good fit with that......lol.....had to do it!!

cd
 moonchildMN
Joined: 9/28/2012
Msg: 16
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 11:54:54 AM
We don't have sex often. He comes to me for foot jobs ... But if all he wants is shoes that he hides

Fvck me .... this is made up right? (wiping tears from my eyes) ...


this is great! Best thread yet! I'm with you, I have tears rolling down my face and my stomach hurts from laughing.

A frikken SHOE TREE!! Genius!! that's why men ask me for my shoes huh? Gawd the things I learn by accident here....

btw, it's a safe bet to say he's not your boyfriend.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 17
view profile
History
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 11:57:58 AM
I wonder if it is next to that "panty" tree and "bra" tree??????

OT.......Got to like those that expand their sexuality with fetishes......just as long as the shoe fits.....so to speak!

cd
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 18
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 12:10:14 PM
If this isn't a troll post, then you and this "boyfriend" are simply incompatible.

I'd think that if there really is a boyfriend with a shoe fetish, you'd be the one benefiting from him buying you lots of shoes.
 REDDDRAGON
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 19
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 12:16:43 PM
if Cawkblawker told me to get on my knees and lick her shoes I would....................



no questions asked.

 pattie2014
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 20
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 1:25:59 PM
Ok so how long are you going to put up with this ding a ling behavior? You deserve better than this.
 Jamiesmith69
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 21
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 1:55:22 PM
Mock laugh and believe I am a "Troll"? I've never posted on her before and I am only on her as a last resort. I've tried fetish forums with no luck.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 22
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 3:36:53 PM

Try putting some leaves on and see what happens.


Cawk,he might throw a shoe at her and knock her out....

Op,seriously,if there are secrets and mistrust and particularly if he's more interested in making lurve with shoes instead of you,why persevere in this "relationship" ?
 MeggieMugster
Joined: 1/28/2013
Msg: 23
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 3:50:10 PM
at first when you said shoe fetish i was like whats wrong with that, but when I read more, ummmmm thats messed up. hes messed.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 24
view profile
History
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 3:57:13 PM
Another bogus profile created to pull our chain. Yawn!

Why do folks keep responding to these transparently phony inquiries.? Hint, this poster is a fake with a phony issue about a non-existent boyfriend. 10 to 1 (100 to 1) it's a guy (not a woman) sitting in his pajamas tapping away and laughing his head off.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 25
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 4:05:03 PM
This is not my department. I have Dr. Ruth on speed dial!
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help