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Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 1
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I met a guy on here and i thought he was great in the begining. He was an older guy and I was very hopeful and happy about my first date because i met someone who wanted the same things as i did. If nothing else i figured we would at least be friends. His profile said he wanted a relationship. We spent time together, things were okay, were still getting to know eachother and at one point i wanted this man to meet some friends of mine because they were curious about the guy i was seeing. So The girls came and the guy invited some of his male friends, we were all having a great time. Untill out of nowhere with no provocation, he flips the script on me and started cutting into me being very rude, obviosly he felt the need to put me down and show out in front of everyone. It really hurt my feelings. My girls say its better for me to have seen this behavior now rather than later. This man never wanted a relationship, hes simply on here to use women to get sex and puts on a performance of being a nice guy when hes a total jerk. I left that place in tears, i felt humiliated, i really dont get why he didnt just sign up on a casual sex, no strings attatched site. Why hurt women and decieve them into believing your something that your not. I feel sick to my stomache over this.
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 2
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:20:25 PM
You said everything was great and then you two got into a group situation with friends and he is suddenly rude to you. So, from this you've decided he is just using you for sex.

Did he actually say he is using you?
How did you make this connection between him being rude to you in front of people and using you for sex?
Did you ever find how WHY he suddenly changed and was rude?
I'm sorry you got hurt but I'm a firm believer in a saying, there's three sides to every story: his, hers and the truth.
Perhaps through your earlier excitement and hope then the hurt you experienced, you are not seeing the big picture.
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 3
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:20:45 PM
I am so sorry to hear you were treated like that. Please meet guys in the real world, thru your friends, family or co-workers. Dating total strangers is not cool. You are too young and beautiful and naive for the wolves that linger on the internet.
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 4
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:21:41 PM
Believe me, this guy's cruel, manipulative behavior was HIS problem, not yours. You are lucky to discover this early. If you feel hurt, learn from it and move on.

Shake it off. Say out loud: "Excuse me, but I believe this shit belongs to YOU." Go for a run. Punch a pillow. Watch a comedy. Flush the toilet symbolically and walk away.

Why do some men deceive women? They want SEX. They claim to want a relationship because most women want a relationship. The majority of women reject men who "want to date, but nothing serious" or seek intimate encounters.
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 5
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:42:14 PM
Your friends were right.You found out the guy was a jerk fairly quick...Move on and learn from it.Never believe a man when its just typing.You found his true colors when you met in person...AT least you didnt waist alot of time with the creep...Better luck next time!
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 6
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Posted: 2/24/2013 12:59:03 PM
Always go in with the understanding that any guy wants sex.

Online dating is hard because it begins blind. All of the first few meetings are staged and not natural . It is easy for a person to be on their best behaviour. It takes different situations, such as the one you were in, to bring out a person`s true colours. There really is no way of knowing until you know. Chalk this one up to experience and be glad you never married him.

When we meet a person through work or other social circles, you can get a feel for their real character. You can watch from afar and develop an idea about the person more completely. This is still no guarantee that it will end better, but it takes away surprises more often.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 7
Posted: 2/24/2013 1:06:12 PM
Why hurt women and decieve them into believing your something that your not
If you knew how he really was, you would not have gone out with him, so he lied & misrepresented himself. Welcome to the world of online dating.

started cutting into me being very rude, obviously he felt the need to put me down and show out in front of everyone
He is very rude, has no social skills or dating ediquette, he needs to learn how to act, & he is obnoxious. He humiliated & disrespected you. You didn't say if he followed you out of the club or called to apologize, he doesn't sound like he hsa enough class to act like a decent person.
He does not deserve you. Your needs require a gentleman who will treat you with kindness & respect. Chalk this up to a bad experience & keep dating, there is a gentleman out there for you.
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 8
Posted: 2/24/2013 2:06:09 PM
Luv I'm very sorry that you caught a jerk. Try and slow down and pay attention to their actions, not their words. I live in your same town, it's nice seeing someone from here close to home. I wish it was in under better circumstances. Good luck and adjust your picker. You snagged a carp, snip the line and go fishing for the king fish.
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 9
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Posted: 2/24/2013 3:45:55 PM
I get that you're hurt and feel like he shouldn't have put on his profile that he was looking for a relationship BUT did you actually ever TALK to him about the prospect of a relationship? Did you ask him what he wanted? Or did you just go off his profile. Because people sign up for site, fill out a profile, and several months later they maybe changed their minds about what they want.

You needed to actually have a conversation with him about what you expect and what he expects to avoid this. He is clearly one of those men who act great to you one on one, but when he gets in front of his friends, he acts like a douche.

You'll have MANY more opportunities to find a better guy, especially on this site. It's full of men!
Don't lose hope :)
Joined: 2/19/2013
Msg: 10
Posted: 2/24/2013 3:51:33 PM
You dodged a bullet....consider yourself lucky!! Pat yourself on the back and treat yourself to something nice.

On to the next meet & greet!!!
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 11
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Posted: 2/24/2013 4:58:41 PM
We slept together, thats where i made the connection, it was clear that he was attracted to some of my friends and not just me, and had i not been there, he would have tried to seduce them. It didnt seem to matter to him what woman was in his presence, anything with a vag would do. Im not a jealouse woman, I just wish i had seen this in him sooner, i thought he was sincere. What hurt me was the way he dissed me, i blame myself for not taking more time to see what kind of man he was. Everything happened too soon. I blinded myself and pretty much put all of my eggs in one basket with this man because of what i wanted so now i feel like a fool.
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 12
Posted: 2/24/2013 5:16:32 PM
Awwwwww OP, do not be so hard on yourself. The same thing has happened to many of us, including myself.
Take it as a learning situation and move on.
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 13
Posted: 2/24/2013 5:43:42 PM

"Excuse me, but I believe this shit belongs to YOU."

What she said ... perfect !
Someone who picks a fight like that is a coward ... and you deserve better.
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