|"Meet Me"Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4)|
|I have contacted three men in the past month with NO response. They viewed my profile and didn't respond to my message. All three of these men have indicated in the past week that they want to "meet me." One even favorited me, but didn't respond to my e-mail. What's a gal to do with these kinds of mixed messages?|
Posted: 2/26/2013 2:29:09 PM
|OP, since it appears you're new, please pay no attention to any of those "meet me" notices. All it is is men scrolling through looking at pictures, not reading profiles and then clicking "yes" on any cute face that appears. And for that matter, don't waste your time messaging the men on these sites. From my own experience, they want to be the hunters and you'll rarely, if ever, get a response from a message you initiate.|
I've messaged maybe 5-6 guys in the couple of years I've been on here and not once have I ever gotten a response. Now, they will turn around and message you at some point because they've forgotten that you messaged them. It's completely stupid.
Don't take anything too seriously and try to have fun.
Posted: 2/26/2013 2:34:30 PM
|Not really new, just deleted my account for awhile and joined back. I've never really understood this "meet me" feature-- it's exactly as you've explained.|
Posted: 2/26/2013 2:50:54 PM
|Forget the meet me thing it means nothing also when they favourite you, you are sort of on the back burner whilst they look further. Leave the contacts to the guys. Dont take too seriously here, it is an ocean full of players.|
Posted: 2/26/2013 3:00:33 PM
|It's a timing problem that's all. Either he can't meet you on that day because the wife asked him to mow the lawn and he can't get back on the computer because his oldest daughter is using it for Facebook.|
Posted: 2/26/2013 3:14:44 PM
|Be positive. Many of the 'click' features on dating sites are used as bookmarks. My guy said I popped up on one of those sidebars on Match and he didn't want to lose my profile. Some men would rather save you, reread the profile, and then take time to write a thoughtful message.|
Men are visual creatures so I see no issue with them saving profiles of women they find attractive. what else are they suppose to do?
I prefer a man taking some time to think ....I deleted all those zero effort two sentence Hi messages.
Posted: 2/26/2013 3:41:51 PM
|Happens all the time. Women are just as guilty as men are. They look at your picture.....if they think you're attractive they hit "Yes". Then.....once you write to them they decide to look at your profile. That's when they decide they don't really want to meet you. I think it's nuts. Why would any rational person hit "Yes" if they haven't read your profile?|
Posted: 2/27/2013 9:23:01 AM
|And another thing. There are messages that DO NOT reach the recipient. How do I know this? Easy, I get messages from folk that obviously were not intended for me. Several messages have shown up in my mail from men obviously seeking a woman's attention, that somehow got routed to me. You know they didn't click on my picture to send the message and then say, "You're a nice looking lady."|
When I told them their message came to me, they were embarrassed without needing to be. So, there definitely are instances where the messages go to the wrong place. You just don't know when or to whom.
Posted: 2/27/2013 9:57:18 AM
|I get this all the time, actually. I really puzzles me too, so I would at least like you to understand that you are not the lone experiencer.|
For me, it has gotten to the point where I am skeptical about ANY profile that I read. My opinion is that none of them are really honest as I have seen repeatedly that no one's actions actually meet their words. Is it all about fear at root? I don't know.
What I can say about this is that if your actions do not match your words, then by definition and default, you are a liar. Maybe not purposefully, but that just is what shakes out of it all. This is distressing to me, because I generally mean what I say and say what I mean, and I will not only come through, but in short order anyone can see that I a good to my word. I have clicked on YES for the meet me, but never receive responses but on only a few.
I don't know.... The creepy notion I get as that ALL of these people approach actually or possibly attaining what it is they are looking for and then WHOOSH, they suddenly sabotage the heck out of it. I don't get that. PLUS I would not want to have someone like that for a mate. Maybe more people have this subliminal character flaw that causes them to commit self sabotage, and so they remain unhappy.
Well.. maybe they look at my picture and think "YUK", I don't know, but I can laugh at and understand that too.
MANY do not respond to messages. THAT to me is very impolite and downright mean. One could simply say "No Thanks" or "BUSY" or something. Ignoring people is trashy I think. So maybe it's better NOT to meet and hang with one of those as it would probably turn out bad in the long run.
I too have had people "favorite" me and it turns out to be nothing.
I don't know. Maybe one way to look at this is to guage what it is that our society in general has become....
Don't let it sour you. It gets my goat from time to time too. "OH gee, I just want..." No, you don't!
I know this too: If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got. Dare to do something different!
Posted: 2/27/2013 10:01:12 AM
|Just time to put on your big girl panties and move on OP We all seem to deal with the rejection that this site has fostered, and made acceptable far to often.|
Unlike what one woman told you on this "over 45"........many many of us do not feel the need to be the hunters, and pursue women all the time while dragging our knuckles on the ground as we search for you. We can and are kind to those that treat us the same way, and we stopped counting the notches on our bedpost decades ago, and truly are interested in equals that we can enjoy and let them enjoy us.
I appreciate your assertive attitude about taking the lead and contacting men on here, and if all would do that, both men and women equally, we would not need all these posts sharing our insecurities.
Posted: 2/27/2013 1:00:22 PM
|Amen Brother! hahaha Nice post!|
Posted: 2/27/2013 1:39:22 PM
|If someone interests you, message them. If they don't reply, don't dwell on it. I don't know where the notion of men like to do the chasing comes from but I don't agree with it either. POF is a completely different type of animal. The worst thing that can happen when you ask for something is you might get it, or you can sit on the sidelines and wait and hope. Be proactive, I rarely send messages and it isn't because I am shy or not finding anyone I am interested in. It's much easier to chase after something you KNOW wants to be chased. Too many on here are only seeking validation or attention.|
Posted: 2/27/2013 6:53:32 PM
|Hi love This is so true so im takeing the Rains and telling you that you are so true|
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:00:42 PM
All three of these men have indicated in the past week that they want to "meet me." One even favorited me, but didn't respond to my e-mail. What's a gal to do with these kinds of mixed messages?
The same thing guys do when they get the same mixed messages from women - let it go and move on.
Neighter meet me's or flirts or favorites or viewed me's mean much it is the quality of your communication that counts and when there is none there is no question.
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:41:17 PM
|Well OP the site is filled with flakes and fake profiles of men and women, it can get alittle frustrating sometimes, try not to let it bother you thou. I don't use the meet me feature unless I've seen they have looked at my profile too, then I'll send a message, most times I find it doesn't really work. If I'm interested in a guy I'll just send him a quick message, I've had more success with the direct approach on the site.|
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:48:03 PM
|I sent some messages to women that had hit that meet me, for me . Never heard anything back from any of them . I think the meet me feature is pretty much a joke . That and the fact that most people seem intent on dating as many different people as fast as possible . Speed dating is the new norm from what allot say , but there is one problem . Most of the speed daters will not find anything meaningful . In their race to date the next person I bet many left behind one they regretted leaving behind .|
Posted: 2/27/2013 9:01:03 PM
|OP keep up emailing your interests and don't give up. You'll find some men funny on this site and even more so after you meet them. Only thing I'll say is take the time find out more once you do meet... I messaged ones I was interested in, some replied some didn't. Most important thing is...finally the right one did make contact and we're very happy together. This is an online dating site...use it to your advantage but don't take profiles at face value.|
Posted: 2/27/2013 10:12:36 PM
|It happens to all of us. |
I think its the POF bots tbh.
Posted: 2/28/2013 12:14:37 AM
I have contacted three men in the past month with NO response. They viewed my profile and didn't respond to my message
Did you view THEIR profile first, to verify a sense of sincerity?
I strongly suspect that most of the guys in these forums would answer your inquiries. Perhaps you could message some of them, explaining your intentions, just to prove to yourself that being selective works, and thereby build up yer confidence.
Posted: 2/28/2013 12:20:08 AM
|Did you view THEIR profile first, to verify their sense of sincerity?|
I strongly suspect that most of the guys posting in these forums would respond to your inquiries. Perhaps you could message them, explaining your intention, just to verify that selectiveness works, and also to build up your confidence.
Posted: 2/28/2013 6:55:19 AM
|Don't use it, don't respond to it.|
I even put something about that "meet me" in my profile.
I had a few, and it seemed we have things in common I wrote to her..Than nothing.
I even heard that it's some computer generated thing, those women didn't really clicked on that meet me.
Posted: 2/28/2013 9:43:04 PM
|You're obviously a newbie, these dating sites do not gaurantee you the love of your life or even a date for that matter. Get used to it, worse things will happen, like the stalkers and the sex creeps, blocking them does no good, they just make new profiles and come after you again. One needs a thick skin to be on a dating site. So, you could look at it like you dodged a bullit if these guys were to wishy washy to write back, move on.|
Posted: 3/1/2013 7:13:56 AM
|Meet me feature is a waste of time OP. Even when a male writes and sends interest, sometimes they are married or just playing games. After a while you get used to it and do not get all excited when someone writes you. Until you actually meet in person, it is better to not get all emotionally invested. I dont waste huge amounts of time emailing or chatting on the phone. I like to get to know them a little then lets meet. Often this is where they will flake again. Fear not, some of the flakes wait a few weeks and start the whole game over again. If you let them. Move on because like Deacon said, there are nice ones and nuts, just do not be in rush.|
Posted: 3/1/2013 10:09:17 AM
Yes, best advice might be to join up...not log on for another 2 weeks... then after 2 weeks delete all messages....then start going over the messages after that. Most men who send those early messages would message a female goat ...a new one...click..another new one...click.
'Hi, we have a lot in common, would you like to get together for a coffee'? Copy paste.....'Hi, we have a lot in common, would you like to get together for a coffee'?...'Hi, we have a lot in common, would you like to get together for a coffee'? next.
Posted: 3/1/2013 10:23:58 AM
|On the advice of a male friend, I joined PoF a couple months ago and did things a little differently: |
I signed up as 'hidden', wrote to several guys who I thought sounded like they were a reasonable fit and also tried using the 'meet me' feature for 30 minutes or so.
Well? With Meet Me: I found one can get lulled into hitting 'yes' or 'maybe' (is there a maybe? it's been a couple months now, I'm actually dating someone but can't quit the forums :) if someone seems even remotely interesting.... I mean you are playing the odds.
I had reasonable luck with this actually - maybe 25% of the guys I clicked 'yes' to wrote to me. And a few were great guys.
A higher percentage of the men I messaged responded - maybe because I didn't send out an obvious boiler plate and I felt I was 'realistic' about the guys who I reached out to.
I see so many 'ugh this is awful' posts on here, but honestly I think dating sites can actually be pretty (dare I say) 'fun' if one can ignore the less desirable stuff (you will get rejected, sure and people who are not of interest to you will reach out, sometimes repeatedly) and just view it as the cost of admission....